DISCLAIMER: I, queenbellaloca, and she, candyappleblack, solemnly declare that we still do not own Twilight.

Thanks for all the lovely reviews, guys! It means a lot to us both. *big group Esme-type hug* Squeeee!

So we decided to compile a soundtrack for the first ten chapters for shits and giggles. It was fun. Here is what we came up with:

Ch. 1 - Shoes - Liam Kyle Sullivan
Ch. 2 - Because I got High - Afroman
Ch. 3 - NDN Kars - Keith Secola
Ch. 4 - Androgyny - Garbage
Ch. 4 - Cherry Lips (Go Baby Go) - Garbage
Ch. 5 - Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
Ch. 6 - Apologize - OneRepublic
Ch. 6 - I Kissed A Boy - Cobra Starship
Ch. 7 - Hollaback Boy - Cobra Starship
Ch. 8 - What Don't You Fucking Understand - Christian Bale
Ch. 9 - Let It Rock - Kevin Rudolph ft. Lil Wayne
Ch. 10 - I Can't Stop Talking - NoMeansNo

Okay. Also. We've decided to throw in an original character. It still won't let us post a link, so just google "Thomas - Smoke Signals" and you'll see what he's based on. It's the first picture that comes up when you click images. Also, he tells a story in this chapter. This is also the same story the character we based him on tells in the movie. There, we gave credit. Don't sue. We're broke ass anyway. All we have is fry bread.

And go:

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ACT TEN: HEY, NEEDZ MOAR JACKSPER

It is after school. Upstairs, in Emmett's room, which is now sparkling clean much to Emmett's chagrin, Emmett and Jasper are sitting on the bed.

JASPER: Your room is so tidy, Emmett.

EMMETT: I know. It's disgusting.

JASPER: Seriously? You miss the laundry and junk everywhere and the boxers on the lamp shade?

EMMETT: YES! Those boxers have been there for-

JASPER: SERIOUSLY!?

EMMETT: *pouting* It was my mess, and I loved it. And besides, now I don't know where anything is.

JASPER: *shakes his head* My god.

EMMETT: What?

JASPER: We have to break in your car.

EMMETT: *eyebrows perk up* Really? I like the way you think… *puts a hand on jasper's thigh*

JASPER: What? No! *swats him away*

EMMETT: *confused* what you do mean, "no"?!

JASPER: Well, yes. But that's not what I'm talking about right now.

EMMETT: Well if we're not going to have sexy times in my car, then what are you talking about?

JASPER: We need to hot box it, man!

EMMETT: I like the way you think! But… dude. We ran outta weed.

JASPER: I guess we're going to La Push!

EMMETT: I guess so!

*

The two boys are walking through the Quileute forest, joking around.

JASPER: Why do you look so nervous walking out here? Do you think something is gonna come out and bite you? Or give you fleas?

EMMETT: I just don't like comin' out here, man. I just broke my one hundred and second treaty!

JASPER: You broke a stick! A stick is not a treaty!

EMMETT: *picks up a stick* Alright, you primitive screw heads, listen up! You see this? This… Is my TREATY STICK!

They suddenly hear a voice coming from behind the trees. "There's no such thing as a treaty stick!"

EMMETT: What was that? Did you hear that, Jasper?

JASPER: *is suddenly clinging onto Emmett's arm, as tight as possible* Yes.

EMMETT: *looks over at his arm* …When did I grow a Jasper?

JASPER: Just now.

EMMETT: …I'll protect you, lady… fair…?

JASPER: *in Jasmine voice* My hero!

The voice in question materializes from behind the trees. It is a scrawny native guy, with two long braids, huge coke bottle glasses, and a weird suit jacket that appears to be two sizes too big, and is sporting the biggest and most awkward smile you've ever seen. He looks somewhere to be in his early to mid-twenties.

JASPER: *whispers to Emmett* …What is it?

EMMETT: One of the natives, genius.

JASPER: …Are you sure? I've never seen one that looks quite like that…

EMMETT: Um… Hi. We're looking for Sam Uley, do you know where we can find him?

THOMAS ULEY: Oh, sure I do! Sam's my brother, eh. I'm Thomas Uley.

EMMETT: I'm Emmett. The uh… Cute growth on my arm is Jasper. *Jasper still has a death grip on his arm*

THOMAS: Hey, Jasper!

JASPER: *gawks at him strangely, eyes bulging* It's a… pleasure to meet you.

THOMAS: Hey, Jasper! Do you like fry bread?

JASPER: I don't- Yes.

EMMETT: You do?

JASPER: Back in the confederacy…

EMMETT: Ah.

THOMAS: My mom makes the best fry bread in the whole world, eh. It's so good they use it for communion back on da rez. They made this Jesus fry bread. This fry bread can walk across water-

JASPER: Whatever this guy's on, I want some.

THOMAS: Fry bread risin' from the dead-

JASPER: Okay, maybe not.

EMMETT: *to Thomas* Is that true?

THOMAS: Way back when, we were havin' a feast on our reservation. A good ol' feast. We didn't have a whole lot of food. Just a little bit o' deer meat, a huge vat of mashed potatoes-

EMMETT: *mutters* This guy really likes to talk…

JASPER: Bleh. Mashed potatoes.

THOMAS: Some Pepsi, and fry bread. But the fry bread made all the difference in the world. You see, a good piece of fry bread turned any meal into a feast. Everybody sat at the table, waitin' for the cooks to come out with the fry bread-

EMMETT: This is a really great story, but we would really like to see Sa-

THOMAS: But they waited, and they waited… But you see there was a hundred Indians at that feast, and only fifty pieces of fry bread! My mom kept tryin' to figure out what to do! I mean, it was her magical fry bread that everybody wanted-

JASPER: He's like the thing that wouldn't shut up. I am so not high enough for this.

THOMAS: But my mom knew what to do. You see, my mom's fry bread was magic. My mom was magic-

JASPER: Seriously! What is this guy on!

EMMETT: I thought the only one that thought their mother was magic was Edward.

THOMAS: She knew how to feed a hundred Indians with only fifty pieces of fry bread! She went up to talk to the people. "Listen!" she said. "There are a hundred Indians here and only fifty pieces of fry bread!"-

JASPER: …I'm gonna eat him.

EMMETT: I wonder if he tastes like fry bread.

THOMAS: Everybody was mad, there was gonna be a fry bread riot for sure! But my mom said, "But! I have a way to feed you all!" She took a piece of fry bread, and she held it over her head, and she ripped it in half!

EMMETT: Is that actually true?

From a distance…

SAM: No it's not true! Thomas, you're so fulla shit!

THOMAS: Oh, hey, Sam! Hey, Sam! This here is Emmett, and this here is Jasper. They were lookin' for ya!

SAM: …Hi. So ya met my brother.

EMMETT: *unimpressed* Yeah. Uh… You can let go now, Jasper.

JASPER: But I like it here.

EMMETT: What, are you gonna live on my arm?

JASPER: Yes! I'm already mapping out where I'm gonna put the bedroom!

EMMETT: *deadpan* …On my arm.

JASPER: Some may call it small, I call it cozy. No really, it's quite quaint.

EMMETT: Oh yeah?

JASPER: Yes. We even have a tea room.

EMMETT: Oh yeah? And where's that?

JASPER: *points* Right in there.

EMMETT: In my armpit?

JASPER: Yeah-huh.

EMMETT: Oh-KAY. So!

Sam is standing there in complete disbelief and Thomas is still sporting a wide grin.

THOMAS: Hey, Sam! I like your friends. They're funny, innit.

SAM: Yeah. Sure. So are we gonna talk business, leech?

EMMETT: Yeah. Same as last time.

SAM: I think I can help you with that. Hey, Thomas. Can you go back home and tell mom I'll be back in about fifteen minutes, eh?

THOMAS: Okay. Hey, Sam!

SAM: *impatient* What, Thomas…

THOMAS: I like your friends! They're pretty funny, innit! We should invite them back to da rez for some fry bread! Because our mom makes the best fry bread in the whole w-

SAM: GO, THOMAS.

JASPER: I'm gonna eat him.

Sam gives him a look.

EMMETT: He's kidding. So about this deal.

The deal goes down… Emmett and Jasper head off into the woods. Sam is standing there counting the bills. He is interrupted by…

THOMAS: Hey, Sam! Look who I found!

Thomas has come back with Jared and Jacob in tow.

JARED: Sam! *eyes widen at the sight of the cash wad in Sam's hands* Where'dja git dat den?

SAM: Don't matter.

JACOB: What did you do, rob a bank?

SAM: No!

JACOB: Then where did you get the giant wad of cash? *glances up for a second, sees the two Cullens amongst the trees* Are those CULLENS? *starts to charge forward*

SAM: *jumps in front of him, pushes his chest back* Whoa, chillax, Jake.

JACOB: They're on our land! You know, the Cullen's don't come here!

SAM: They came here to see me. And now they're leavin'. Get over it.

JACOB: Why would they wanna see you?

SAM: *exasperated sigh* They wanted to buy.

JACOB: Buy what?

SAM: Dreamcatchers. WEED, You idjit!

JACOB: You're selling drugs?

SAM: Yeah. I do that from time to time. Google it.

JARED: But we don't have internet on the rez.

SAM: Shut up.

THOMAS: *squinting and raising a hand to his brow* What are they doin' over there anyway? It looks like they're dancing or something', innit?

Pan to the Cullens…

JASPER: Oh, Robin Hood, you're so brave! *clasps hands together*

EMMETT: Can I be rewarded with a kiss, Maid Marian?

JASPER: Only if you catch me first!

They run around for a few minutes until Emmett catches him and shoves him against a tree.

EMMETT: I guess I caught you.

JASPER: I guess you get your kiss.

Emmett leans in and begins to kiss Jasper. In the distance, the Quileute boys are observing the scene, gaping in horror.

JARED: The Cullens are freaks.

SAM: You got that right.

JACOB: Ew. What are you marrying into, Bella?

THOMAS: Hey, Sam! Why are they kissin' each other? They're both boys!

SAM: Jeeeeez. Get back to da rez. Alla ya's. Just go.

JACOB: *questioning self* What's more disturbing: That over there, or the drug dealer over here?

THOMAS: Hey, Jacob!

Jacob pinches between his eyes, and dies a little inside.

*

Thanks for reading! Here's the deal: You leave us a review, we'll give you a piece of fry bread. Sounds pretty sweet, innit?