Travelling through Loki's strange method of teleportation is... weird, to say the least. Clint comes out of the other end disorientated and off balance. It had been a momentary flash of darkness, the sensation of movement, the impression of a great expanse of empty space stretching around him, felt rather than seen. A rough, unfamiliar surface beneath his boots. He takes several deep breaths, taking stock of himself.
They are back in the base, chill brick walls rising around them. Loki smiles, and Clint can feel a pulse of pleasure through their mental link. He's been getting a lot of that, and satisfaction as well. It makes sense; everything went just as Loki wanted it and he got to see a whole bunch of Chitauri slaughtered too.
Beside Clint, Phil is leaning heavily on his arm. There's a tense energy to him that Clint knows means he's seriously pissed off. Which is understandable – being under Loki's mind-control hadn't exactly been a pleasant experience, although Clint has forgiven the guy for it since then. Loki hadn't had much of a choice, and it had turned out okay in the end. Doing it to Phil though... yeah, Clint is kind of in two minds about that. On one hand, it was a serious dick move, and he's well aware it was at least in part to use his lover as a tool against him. On the other, Loki could have killed Phil, and he didn't. Clint is perfectly willing to take any possible alternative over that.
"Here," Loki says, and produces a large velvet bag from somewhere – Clint is assuming some kind of other-dimensional pocket of space. Handy for storage. The alien prince tosses it over casually and Clint catches it, pulling the mouth of it open to have a look inside. It's more diamonds, lots of them. Enough to pay off the mercenaries very generously. Phil raises a curious eyebrow, and Clint tilts it in his direction to show him.
"Produced by magic," he explains. Phil makes a disapproving sort of noise, and darts a suspicious look at Loki's back. Clint really wishes he could take him aside and explain to him... well, explain to him why he decided to go along with Loki's plans, for one thing. Explain why he honestly doesn't mind sticking around now that Phase One is over, and maybe hopefully convincing Phil that he should stay too. Obviously if he wants to go back to SHIELD – which he probably will, since Phil always gives himself 110% to whatever job he does – he ought to, it's just that Clint is rather worried that it's not going to be an option.
As Loki heads off down the tunnel, Clint follows him, Phil following on closely behind. He can already catch hints of the usual noises of Loki's minions echoing from the walls. It hasn't been long enough since they left for anyone to have gotten impatient and thought about leaving. It seems like a lot longer, considering everything that's happened, but it's really only been a couple of days.
"So, uh, this was our secret base," Clint tells Phil, looking mostly to fill the silence. "Pretty comfy, as secret bases go."
"Clint..." And goddamn it, Clint hates how... how tired, how hesitant, Phil sounds. His own lover doesn't trust him, and how can he blame him? It's easy to forget that Loki's actions have resulted in the deaths of a lot of people, even if it wasn't entirely by his own free will. But Phil doesn't know that last part.
"I promise I'll explain everything when we get... wherever the hell it is we're going," he says, knowing it's barely adequate.
Phil looks like he would have said something else, but they've arrived. Loki raps the hilt of his sceptre on the floor, getting everyone's attention.
"Greetings all," he says. "The plan went as intended. I thank you for your services. To the warriors amongst you, the remainder of your payment is here, with Agent Barton." Clint holds up the bag obligingly. One of the guys – Kent, he thinks the man's name is, the one in charge – comes over to take it from him. He checks it over, nods, and starts to gather the other mercs together. They'd lost a few in the attack on the Helicarrier, but Clint chose the less pleasant type of mercenaries for a reason. To the minds of those who remain alive, it just means they'll be getting a bigger share of the profits.
"And for the seidmenn amongst you, those you mortals call scientists, you have the knowledge you have acquired whilst in my service. However, I appreciate that it has been but a short time you have spent here. Thus, I promise each of your organisations, that is, HYDRA and AIM, one boon that they may claim from me at any time, though I shall reserve the right to refuse those that I deem unreasonable and ask that you choose another. Still, I imagine that the favour of a god shall be most highly prized by those that rule you."
This is probably a really bad thing, and by the way Phil is glaring, Clint knows that he at least thinks so. But... look, he's not about to try and claim that Loki is a good guy or anything, but he's still the (adopted) son of a king, and he seems to have some kind of moral code of his own, even if it doesn't really match a human one. It might not be a disaster.
You sure about this boss? he asks mind to mind.
It is a small enough thing, Loki replies, sounding amused. He lifts the hand not holding the Tesseract container and makes a motion much like that of a magician producing a coin from behind a kid's ear. Instead of dollars though, he is holding two small stones, each with some kind of rune carved into it. He tosses one to each of the groups. And worry not. I have made a pact for peace with your friends, have I not? I have no intention of breaking it.
Alright, that does make Clint feel a lot better.
"When you wish to call in the debt," Loki tells his now ex-minions, "merely throw the stone into a fire, and I shall come. Is this acceptable to you?"
"Yes sir," one of the scientists says, gazing at the little pebble with the look of someone who desperately wants to start prodding it to see how it works.
"Then we shall depart," Loki says, turning to face Clint and Phil. He reaches out a hand to Clint's shoulder again, and Clint grabs hold of his lover's hand. Then they are back in the darkness once again.
This time when they reappear it is to the hissing sound of pouring rain. The room they are standing in is dry enough however, and as Clint's eyes adjust to the dim light, he can see that they appear to be standing inside the hollowed out bole of a simply enormous tree. He can see the walls carrying on and on upwards, see the other side of the place cathedral-distant. Partitions of carved wood divide up the space, solid for perhaps three or four metres at the bottom before transforming into delicate filigree that stretches towards the empty expanse above. Behind them they are lit by a doorway that seems to open out onto a cloudy sky, though he can just about make out torches sitting in sconces on the partition walls. In fact, it only takes a gesture from Loki to bring them bursting into life, flickering with green flames, conveniently not setting the wood on fire.
"Nice place," Clint says. "Where the hell are we?"
"In the most isolated part of the great forests of Alfheim," Loki replies. "A safe place. We shall not be found here."
Clint fidgets, glances over at Phil, who is impassive. "So, what now?"
"Now I begin my preliminary study of the Tesseract," Loki says. "Although you and your lover have much to talk over, I doubt it could fill the time any examination in depth would take, so I shall do my best to be brief for the moment. Perhaps a week. There is good hunting here, and equipment to replace that which you used up in the battle. This is one of many hideouts I have built over the centuries, and it is well stocked. Make yourselves at home. I shall be in the central room, though I would ask that you do not disturb me unless it is an emergency. It will be... delicate work."
"Okay boss," Clint replies. Loki nods once, and moves away, disappearing behind a door directly opposite the apparent entrance. Clint turns to look at Phil, suddenly very nervous. They are alone at last.
Silence stretches out. Phil is the first to break it.
"Are you still under Loki's spell, Clint?"
"No," Clint replies. "Tasha knocked me out of it on the 'carrier."
Phil's face twists with as much emotion as he ever shows, and Clint... he aches inside that he's the goddamn cause of it, that he's the one that put the hurt there. He loves Phil; he can't bear the thought that he's causing him harm. "Then... why?" he asks. "Why are you still obeying him?"
Clint scrubs a hand through his hair, frustrated. "It's not... it's not really a simple answer," he says. "But... but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try and explain. When this all began... when he took me... yeah, I hated him. I'll admit that. But you have to get that this whole invasion of earth thing, all the things he did because of it, none of that was his choice."
Phil's eyes narrow. "You're going to have to explain a bit more than that, Clint."
"It was clear enough that something was going on even before he told me about it," Clint says, the words practically spilling out of him. He needs to convince Phil that he's telling the truth, that he really does have a reason for all this besides what his lover probably thinks, ie. Stockholm syndrome or something. "He was pretty beaten up when he first got here, and he was... twitchy, like... like an animal that's used to being kicked. Not PTSD, not quite, but I think only because his species or whatever probably process shit differently to how we do."
Phil nods for him to go on, which is a good sign. He's willing to listen at least.
"He told me that the army that was coming wasn't his army, that they had forced him to help them invade so they could take the Tesseract, and that they were watching him through the spear thing. He didn't say it in so many words, but it's pretty clear they tortured him. Loki's plan was for the Avengers to kill the Chitauri as they came through the portal, since if they failed at that point they could hardly blame him for their own incompetence. Uh, and that seemed to work out pretty much as intended."
Phil is silent for a moment, but there's a certain softening to his face that gives Clint hope. "And what was your part in all this?" he asks.
Clint winces, just a little bit. He's going to have to tell the truth about the Helicarrier, and that... well, it might not go over so well.
"I thought I could limit the loss of life. And I'm pretty sure I did, so it's not like it was a completely terrible idea or anything. I'm pretty sure Aesir culture has very different morals to our own; I'm not going to pretend Loki actually gives a shit about human life. But he doesn't have any real grudge against us either, that's all reserved for the Chitauri and Asgard. And mind-control aside, he's actually pretty nice to his minions..."
"Nice?" Phil says sharply, before he can continue. "You've felt the same horrible, worshipful thing that his brain-washing puts in control of you, how can you possibly..."
"It wasn't... that bad?" Clint says, knowing it's not exactly the most helpful thing to say, but unable to stop himself. And it wasn't! That devotion, that belonging... okay, not something he would ever have chosen, but once he'd learnt how to work with it instead of against it, it had almost been pleasant at times. "I mean... after a while I learned how to get a bit of control, as long as I could get myself to think we were working towards the same goals."
Phil closes his eyes and breathes deeply. Clint recognises the expression on his face; that's his 'I'm severely pissed off with you right now but I'm not going to explode at you because that would be counter-productive' face.
"Can't you see what he'd done to you?" he says at least. "That thing wearing down at you... He's manipulated you. He's made you loyal to him. He's not a good person Clint, he's not your master. Even if he had reasons for everything else he did, brainwashing is still unconscionable."
"Hey, Phil, no," Clint says, dismayed. "I don't have Stockholm Syndrome. Or at least I'm pretty sure I don't. I never said Loki was one of the good guys, I just said he wasn't exactly a bad guy either. And... and I'm not keeping on obeying him just because. Don't forget he had you as a hostage, for one thing. I'm pretty angry at him about that, though considering that it was either that or killing you...
"But look, the only reason I joined SHIELD in the first place was because it was a much better fucking option than keeping on running from my shitty childhood. I'm not like you, I don't have a... a calling, or whatever. I just kill people for money, and I try and justify that I do that by saying that I'm doing it for my country but it isn't true, deep down, and you know that about me, you've always known. If it wasn't SHIELD, it would be some other government, or I'd have gone mercenary. You and 'Tasha are who matter to me, not the rest of them. The only people who matter. So... killing some of them, to save a hell of a lot of civilians down the road... It did not bother me anywhere near as much as it should, and that's gonna be true with or without someone messing with my head."
Fuck, he can feel tears threatening to well up. His throat is tight. These aren't exactly things he's proud of, not when compared to Phil, who is a really fucking moral guy even though he tries to pretend otherwise sometimes. These are things Clint sometimes tries to hide, and maybe he's made too good a job of it. He made sure when they first started out that Phil knew what he was getting into with him, but maybe Phil has forgotten some of that, over the years.
"The whole Helicarrier attack? Loki was going to do it anyway, but most of it was my idea. The people who died there, those lives are on me, but I did it because I knew the alternative was worse. And maybe I never entirely thought it through until now, but do you really think I can go back after that? After what I've done?"
"Fury would..."
"Yeah, sure, Fury would get it," Clint replies. "But what about everyone else? All the regular folks whose friends I killed. You think they wouldn't find out about it?" He hadn't realised he felt guilty about doing that, but apparently he does. Maybe he's not quite as heartless as he thought. He still wouldn't take any of it back though. He's still sure it had been the necessary thing to do.
Phil looks pained, but he can't offer any reply or reason why maybe Clint would be able to go back to SHIELD. That one fight to save the day with the Avengers had been a reprieve, a one-time-only sort of deal. Now he has Loki, and Loki has him, and that's basically it. There's Phil, for now, but he's not going to want to stay and Clint is fooling himself if he thinks otherwise. Maybe he can... oh, he doesn't know, help Loki get less broken or something. He'd had a bit of a positive influence before, as far as he can tell. And it would at least be something useful for him to do.
"Can we... can we talk about this more some other time?" he says. "I think I've said enough shit already, and I'm not sure saying any more is going to help right now. I just need to work my own thoughts out a bit more, I guess."
Phil nods. "You're right. I have enough to... process anyway."
It's awkward, it's painfully awkward, and Clint doesn't know how to make it better. Things have never been like this between them before. Phil has been his first serious long-term relationship anyway, so he has no other experience to fall back on, not that he can imagine anything quite preparing him for a situation like this.
"I'll... I'll go and find some arrows," he says. "I think I need to shoot some things."
"Go on then," Phil says, without much warmth. Clint gets out of there faster than is strictly appropriate. God, this is so messed up.
"Well first of all," Tony says, "I should probably make sure you know that I'm just theorising here. If anyone else wants to chip in, please feel free, because I make no promises. It's not like I've got any qualifications here, I just took a Psych class for a semester in college in between being awesome at science to try and get into a hot girl's pants. And maybe I've got a little bit of personal experience when it comes to being fucked up by your family."
"Anything you can say will of great help to me, friend Stark," Thor replies. His big blue eyes are practically glistening with unshed tears. "I believe you may see this matter more clearly than I."
Tony looks over at Romanoff, who of everyone else here is the most likely person to be able to psychoanalyse an alien demi-god, but she just gives him a look that says pretty clearly 'you're on your own here'. Yeah. No-one else wants to break bad news to Thor, and who can blame them.
"It's like this," Tony says. Well, it's gotta be said, and it looks like he's the man to do it. "This sounds like something that's been coming for a while. I mean, you've said that Loki seems to have believed that he's always been treated as second best by Odin and the rest of Asgard."
"It is not true," Thor says adamantly, and then, more hesitantly, "At least, that is what I have always told myself. Yet how can I deny that I was lauded for my actions, the very thing that allowed my arrogance to master me, to make of me a fool. Loki said he lived in my shadow – that was never my intention, but now can I really see fit to claim that it may not have happened? And I, in my foolishness, too blind to see it?"
Well this is... progress. Sort of. It doesn't exactly help that Thor looks like a kicked puppy right now, which kind of disposes a guy to be on his side, even if maybe all the facts don't necessarily say that he deserves it. He's just naturally likeable, and that might be part of Loki's problem.
"So Loki feels like he isn't as worthy as you are," Tony continues. He's used to explaining things via a whole bundle of pop-culture references, but that isn't going to work here, and it just makes things twice as hard. Normal, boring people language sucks. "You're a big, bad warrior prince, and he's... not. I'm guessing he's not exactly a warrior at all as you guys define it either. What is it that makes his weapons dishonourable anyway? What difference does it make whether someone fucks your shit up using a hammer and a sword or whatever verses a spear and knives and so on? I gotta say, I don't get it."
Thor fidgets. "I know it is not the same on Midgard," he says. "You mortals have not our strength of arms, so it is not fair to expect you to hold to the same standards of honour as we do. In battle, it is meet that a warrior fights his opponent man to man, in close combat. Weapons that strike from afar, such as those little throwing weapons your common soldiers use, make mockery of that. They are suitable only for the weak and for women."
Tony can see Romanoff bristle at that from the corner of his eye, and he winces internally. However strong and indestructible Thor is, the Black Widow will find a way to make him very, very sorry he'd said that.
"And the worst of all is his practise of seidr," Thor continues, looking even more unhappy, if that is even possible. "For it is not right that a man should make use of magic. Though," he says hastily, "'til true that it seems different here. You, Man of Iron and your berserker friend are seidmenn both, yet you are no less respected for it. I do not understand it, and I have never understood my brother's insistence on following the man's path despite his proclivities. It is but another matter on which I had hoped you might shed some light for me."
Still a puppy. A big, hopeful, sexist, puppy. Tony Stark is really not the guy who ought to be explaining this stuff. He looks around the table for help. Cap looks confused, Romanoff looks pissed off, and Bruce just looks like he would really rather be anywhere else than here. Damn. Help doesn't appear to be forthcoming.
"Yeah... it... doesn't really work like that here. Like, at all. We call 'magic' science, and pretty much anyone can do it if they feel like it. Of course, some people are better at it than others," – he waves his hand in his own direction and in Bruce's – "but, uh, no. We don't call it women's stuff. Kind of the opposite actually until a few decades ago..."
Thor looks like this is literally blowing his mind. "But how can it not be self-evident? Magic is cunning, and trickery. No true warrior's weapon. Or it is for building, nurturing and healing, and women are better at that. It may be a powerful tool in battle, true, but not for men."
"Oh man," Tony says. "I don't know how to explain this to you. I don't. This is gonna take, I don't know, sociology 101 textbooks and... and history of feminism books and a whole bunch of stuff I really don't know that much about." He really wishes Pepper was here. She'd know exactly how to explain gender stuff to a space Viking.
It's been 1000 years. How are these guys still stuck in the Dark Ages? Their tech is state of the art, so why not their culture?
Cap sticks up his hand. He's such a Boy Scout it's unbelievable. "I... I'm confused too," he says. "I know things have changed, but I haven't really had the chance to find out much about it. I didn't even know that dame... that women could become scientists now." He's blushing. Tony is flailing a little bit inside.
Romanoff sighs, and speaks up. "I'll explain these things to Thor later, and Steve if he'd like." Her voice is pleasant in that dangerous kind of way, and Tony is really fucking glad it's not directed at him. Still, he's pretty sure Natasha knows that Thor isn't really to blame for his culture's backwardness. She won't be too rough. "Since SHIELD hasn't taken the time to let Captain Rogers in on these things. But please, continue. You were doing well."
"Is this meant to be some kind of character-building exercise, you not helping me do this?" Tony asks, looking at her suspiciously. He wouldn't put anything past her. Romanoff gives him an innocent look which tells him nothing. Damn it.
"Anyway," he says, trying to get his – never exactly linear – mind back on track. "This really makes things even worse for Loki. Seriously, you couldn't tell that being told he was womanly and weak for being good at magic would make him feel shitty?"
"But he might have changed his actions at any time," Thor protests. "He may not be as skilled, but my brother can still use a sword!"
"You can't expect someone to change their entire personality just because it makes you feel uncomfortable!" Tony says. "People don't work like that, even alien people." He pauses for a moment to consider it. "Probably."
"He's right," Cap says, which is a little bit of a surprise. Honestly the guy looks pretty beat, which is probably why he hasn't exactly been contributing much. "I might be behind the times, but I've always believed that if it isn't hurting anybody, then people should be able to do what makes them happy."
Tony nods. "Well said, Captain Freedom, well said. Better not let the Republicans hear you say that though." Cap gives him an odd look, but Tony is already barrelling on. Let's get this mess over and done with as quickly as possible. He's pretty sure the serious discussion is delaying the delivery of more shawarma.
"So basically your bro was already kind of fucked up before he found out he was adopted," Tony says. Thor looks annoyed – well Tony wasn't trying to insult Loki, it just sort of happens naturally whenever words come out of his mouth. "But now I guess he thought he had a reason why daddy didn't love him, and why everyone hated him."
"Our father does love Loki!" Thor says, bringing his fist down on the table with an alarming amount of force. Surprisingly it doesn't break, though it does let out an unpleasant creaking noise. Thor immediately looks repentant.
"Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't," Tony says, shrugging. "Sure seems like he didn't really show it though."
"Tis true Odin has never been... open, as to his affection for us," Thor says. "But it was clear by his looks and his actions that he did love us both."
Tony isn't going to argue the point. He wasn't there, he doesn't know. But he's got a little experience in the area, and that's probably what makes him want to come down on Loki's side of the equation. "The point is that you guys grew up hearing that these Frost Giants were all monsters and then Loki finds out that he is one. You think that's not going to fuck a guy up? You think that wouldn't make him believe he's finally figured out what's wrong with him, and that it's that he's a monster?"
Thor closes his eyes. His hands are clasped together tight enough to whiten his knuckles. Yeah, the truth is a painful thing to hear. Tony knows. That's why he cloaks so much of everything in a shell of personality, of light-hearted words, of joking and poking fun at everyone and everything. What, it's a totally valid coping mechanism.
"Maybe the whole reason he wanted Jotunheim destroyed was to prove to everyone that he really was one of you. That he belonged. To finally get his dad to notice him and tell him he'd done a good job." Yeah, that has the ring of truth to it. God knows Tony had done enough stupid things to try and make Howard give him some fucking scrap of regard when he was a kid. Bad enough being unwanted... if he'd found out he was adopted he would probably have imploded.
That way lies super-villain Tony. Symmetry, huh.
"It seems... I have many apologies to offer my brother," Thor says, his voice heavy with emotion. "I have hurt him, I who should have protected him. He has protected me many times over the years, and I... I have been too stupid and blind to do my duty to him."
"Yeah well, buck up big guy," Tony says, uncomfortably. "I'm sure you'll get a chance to at some point. Loki's got enough... issues... surrounding you that he's sure to turn up at some point, even if it's just to try and kill you or something."
"My brother has never seriously tried to see me dead," Thor replies. Well... at least he's thinking positively. Tony just nods, more than a little disbelieving. "But thank you for your words, Man of Iron. Your tongue surely holds much wisdom."
"Can't say that's a compliment I've been given many times," Tony says. "But I'm glad I could help. Now, hopefully since that drama is over we can get the waitress to bring us some more shawarma."