Author's note: Today's chapter is brought to you by Cherrybomb17 where fanfiction is the happiest place on earth (sometimes.)
By the way there will be no mentions of alcohol because Scorpion is trying his best to stay sober :)
Catchphrase of the week: Whatever happens…...happens
Do you like cake, or maybe pie?
Pasta, lasagne, or french fries?
He'll tell you what you need to do,
It's Scorpion's Cooking Show
"Takeda, guess what I thought we should make today." Scorpion said acting super excited.
"Gee I can't wait to hear your awesome idea Scorpion." Takeda said rolling his eyes.
"POP'N COOKIN!" Scorpion yelled holding up a box of it.
"Is that a japanese thing?" Takeda asked.
"What? How dare you." Scorpion said a little offended.
"Sorry I was just making a point." Takeda said raising his hands.
"Look, I thought it would be simple and cute so get over it and play along, and much to your disappointment I have brought the following guests." Scorpion said.
"You know what else was a disappointment, The Suicide Squad, I'm just kidding." Takeda laughed.
"I have to admit Kitana and Enchantress were beautiful." Scorpion said.
"Harley was amazingly hot, especially with a gun." Erron Black said walking in the room.
"What are you doing here asshole." Takeda said getting angry.
"I hate Harley, she reminds me of her asshole of a boyfriend Joker." Scorpion said crossing his arms.
"I was told to show up, so suck a dick Junior." Erron laughed at Takeda.
"Go to hell." Takeda said.
"See you there." Erron said.
"I'm pretty sure we're all going to hell." Scorpion thought to himself.
"We were invited as well." Ermac said floating in.
"When do we eat." Reptile said.
"First we make the food then we eat it." Scorpion said rubbing his hands.
"What are we making." Ermac asked.
"POP'N COOKIN!" Scorpion yelled.
"You're getting excited over a fucking Japanese box?" Erron Black asked.
"Yes, your point." Scorpion said.
"Nothing...it's interesting." Erron laughed reloading his gun.
"I thought I told you to get rid of that." Scorpion said.
"You never said to get rid of this gun." Erron said pointing it at Takeda.
"Kill him, and I'll have the whole Special Forces on your ass Kid Rock." Scorpion said.
"Kill me and I'll have everyone I know from Outworld on your ass Trigon." (Teen Titans reference.)
"What kind of DC reference." Takeda laughed.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE WE DOING HERE!" Reptile asked.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD REPTILE, FIRST OFF TAKE A BATH, YOU SMELL LIKE HORSE SHIT!" Erron Black said.
"Surprised you can smell anything under that mask that I will be choking you with later." Takeda said.
"Go ahead choke me, we all know that sick shit turns you on." Erron laughed.
"STOP IT!" Scorpion said.
"We are confused, why we are here?" Ermac said.
"Why did you invite Ermac, Jacqui would not be pleased with this." Takeda said.
"How is the young one doing by the way?" Ermac asked.
"That's none of your business." Takeda said.
"How tragic." Ermac said shaking his head.
"POP'N COOKIN!" Scorpion said shoving the box in everyone's faces.
"Not to be racist Scorpion, but do Japanese people really eat this?" Erron asked.
"Of course not...this is for fun." Scorpion said.
"We are not having fun." Ermac said shaking his head.
"Well get that stick outta your ass and live a little." Scorpion said.
"There is not a stick anywhere near my backside, Satan." Ermac said.
"How do you make this Popin Cookin." Reptile asked.
"Well first all you need to-" just as Scorpion was about to get into the video Takeda's phone rang.
"Takeda really...take that upstairs." Scorpion said.
"Okay, okay hold up." Takeda said going upstairs.
"Did anyone see who it was." Scorpion said face palming.
"Nope."
"Nope."
"I think it said crazy bitch on the caller ID." Reptile laughed.
Takeda was upstairs and the caller seemed very familiar.
"What do you want?" Takeda asked.
"What's up puddin, you act like I'm some cheap hooker or something, don't you miss me." Harley Quinn asked.
"Harley I'm a little busy right now." Takeda said.
"Awww c'mon don't act like you don't miss mama." she laughed.
"Harley it was one time, go bother the Joker." Takeda said.
"He's not here you are, and I'm bored." Harley pretended to cry.
"Harley stop Scorpion's down stairs." Takeda whispered.
"You mean that mean man that keeps talking about me burning in hell, that your daddy, aww puddin how cute." Harley laughed.
"Harley I gotta go, we'll talk later okay." Takeda said.
"Awww pleeeease, I'm wearing your favorite outfit." Harley said.
"Harley who are you talking to?" Takeda heard Deadshot talking in the background.
"No one sweetie." Harley said shooing Deadshot away.
"I'll see you tonight puddin." Harley whispered.
Takeda hung up quickly, as he turned around he saw Erron loading his gun and they both were staring at each other.
"I won't tell, if you don't." They both said at the same time.
"Just protecting myself...you?" Erron asked.
"Oh this is nothing...just a friends with benefits situation." Takeda said.
"I'll be honest, Harley is not that bad looking these days." Erron laughed.
"Well hopefully you two made up, because we need to hurry up with this." Scorpion said.
"Yeah you're right, let's do this." Takeda said.
"Okay we are making ice cream Pop'n Cookin." Scorpion said.
"Ahh that's easy and might give me cancer." Reptile said.
"And those of you who think this drama is fake on my show, fuck you cause this shit is one hundred percent real." Scorpion laughed.
"Who would fake drama?" Ermac asked.
*Cough* "the Kardashians." Reptile coughed.
"Anyway the first thing we have are the ingredients so you'll need:"
Pink packet
Blue packet
Spoon
Sprinkles
Piping bag
Waffle cup
2 Wafers
2 Wafer cones
Mixing tray
Water scoop
2 cone wraps
And 2 paper plates
"This is ridiculous." Reptile said.
"We might enjoy this." Ermac smiled.
"Alright so take the pink packet, put it in the tray and put a scoop of water in it." Scorpion said.
"How about instead of water it's vodka TURN UP!" Erron Black yelled.
"TURN UP WHAT!?" Ermac asked.
"It's just a word Ermac." Takeda said.
"Eww gross so it just looks like that?" Reptile said.
"That looks like Pepto Bismol, which is the shit I tried to overdose on." Scorpion said.
"It was gross, he was vomiting everywhere." Takeda said.
"We want to try this Pepto Bismol." Ermac said.
"Shut up Ermac." Reptile said.
"Anyway...then you take the blue package and just mix it with water to get a sticky white substance." Scorpion explained.
"You don't know how many sex jokes I want to say right now." Erron said holding it in.
"Same." Takeda said.
"We do not understand." Ermac said.
"Then I guess you fold the piping bag, and put the Pepto Bismol and your cum in the bag." Erron laughed.
"ERRON!" Scorpion yelled.
"What? Just making it interesting." He laughed.
"So then you make sure to cut the tip in order for your stuff to come out oh my god I don't know if I can do this." Erron just kept laughing.
"Then we will do it." Ermac said.
"NO ERMAC!" Scorpion yelled.
"THEN WE WILL NOT BE YOUR FRIEND!" Ermac yelled back.
"I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU!" Scorpion yelled again.
"LET IT GO YOU GUYS, WERE ALMOST DONE, YOU CAN MURDER EACH OTHER AFTER THE VIDEO!" Takeda joined the fight.
"I don't think that's okay to say on a kids network." Reptile said nervously.
"Okay now you just make your cute little swirly ice cream in your midget cones." Erron laughed.
"Or you could put it on these little extra cookies." Takeda added.
"Okay everyone time for the taste test, ready." Scorpion asked.
"Ready." They all said.
"Go ahead and eat."Scorpion said.
Everyone took a bite and not one had a pleasant look on their face but Ermac…
"OH GOD...THERE IS NO GOD!" Scorpion yelled.
"No wonder those people in Japan are skinny, cause they eat shit like this." Erron said.
Scorpion smacked Erron in the back of the head with a frying pan…
"DON'T DISRESPECT MY PEOPLE!" Scorpion yelled.
"Oh I love your people...I just don't like this." Erron said holding up the box.
"We love it." Ermac smiled.
"Fucking weirdo." Takeda whispered.
"Ewww if there's one thing I hate is warm ice creams." Reptile said.
"Good don't eat it." Ermac said.
"I won't." Reptile said.
"Hmmm...we predicted that." Ermac said.
"Do you predict anyone else dieing this year, cause I see a few?" Takeda asked raising an eyebrow.
"I see a lot coming out." Erron Black winked.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" They all started laughing.
"Yup he sees a lot of coming out videos, ah I love how we can talk shit and not get in trouble." Erron laughed.
"Yeah...cause we don't fucking exist." Scorpion laughed even harder.
"I just don't like drama, fuck that shit." Takeda said.
"Pssshhh, I'm a messy bitch who lives for drama." Reptile said.
"Is Mileena teaching you the internet slang, Reptile?" Ermac asked.
"Yeah...it's interesting." Reptile thought to himself.
"What the actually fuck is wrong with you guys, I swear you guys are more annoying than Selena Gomez?" Takeda asked.
"Oh are you talking about the whole mess with Bieber?" Erron said.
"Who is this Selena Gomez?" Ermac asked.
"The angel from heaven, that has ended pretty boys career because he's dating a 17 year old." Erron laughed.
"Wait she was 17?" Scorpion asked surprised.
"You know about it too?" Ermac asked.
"Yeah, it was all over twitter." Scorpion answered.
"Sofia Richie you little schemer." Reptile laughed.
"Who is the Sofia Richie?" Ermac asked.
"Bieber's girl." Takeda answered.
"Still no clue." Ermac said.
"Don't worry she's a nobody." Scorpion said.
"Who in their right mind would date a 17 year old? That's scandalous, it's gross, it's disgusting?" Ermac asked.
"People do it...and don't care." Scorpion said shaking his head.
"I feel bad for her a little...getting attacked over nothing, but I'll be honest though...I'll be damned if my fans every got mad at me for dating a 17 year old." Takeda said.
"Nooo I feel like they would be all over you even more." Erron Black said.
"I WILL MURDER YOU IF I EVER HEAR ABOUT YOU DATING A MINOR!" Scorpion yelled.
"Or a clown." Erron whispered to Takeda, getting an angry look from Takeda.
"I STILL WANT THIS PEPTO BISMOL!" Ermac yelled.
If you like cake or maybe pie
Pasta, lasagne, or french fries
He'll tell you what you need to do
It's Scorpion's Cooking Show
"That's me." Erron Black
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!" Scorpion yelled.
"What...I want to be the star." Erron Black.
"GET OUT GET YOUR OWN DAMN SHOW GODDAMN IT PEOPLE, THANKS TO CHERRYBOMB17 I HAVEN'T HAD A DRINK ALL DAY!" Scorpion yelled.
"I'LL BUY YOU A BEER SCORPION!" Takeda yelled.
"YAHTZEE!" Scorpion yelled.
"BUY ME THE PEPTO BISMOL!" Ermac yelled even louder.
"No Ermac." Reptile said.
"TO LATE, YOU NEED ANOTHER BOTTLE!" Ermac yelled.
Scorpion's note: If any of you have questions for me just put them in the review box because I might….do a little question time for you guys. It can be questions for me, Takeda, or any other people who have been on my show. I really appreciate the love and support you guys give and would really like for you guys to show more of that.
Author's note: So I went to go see the Suicide Squad and can I just say that the whole Joker becoming a gangster/pimp or whatever the hell that was, was a strange turn of events but quite interesting in a way….but...It was cute ^-^. Yeah the whole issue with Justin Bieber was kind of sad to me but hey, celebrities have it harder than us just let it go. Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I know it wasn't much but I tried so yeah, love you guys.
(Oh and for some of you who don't know what Pepto Bismol is, it is a medicine that helps you with stomache flu's and you throw up a lot. XD)