Boring, boring, absolutely boring, I know! It's just that I had to write this chapter from Remus' POV.

Please review! Thank you for reading!

Remus Lupin had to apparate exactly on the first step of Grimmauld Place number 12, as a Death Eater had been watching the place all day long. He still had not realized that he has left her –them- behind, he blocked his mind from coming in terms with that. The fact that he would see Harry and his friends any minute now, was giving him a hint of wild joy, and impatience. His decision had been taken. He was ready to help James' son, feel helpful to the wizarding world and forget his situation for a while.

He entered the house, and comforted Moody's voice, saying that he didn't kill Albus Dumbledore. The jinx broke, and as he saw Harry with his wand raised, his heart kicked. "Hold your fire, it's me, Remus." He said.

"Oh, thank goodness", said Hermione with a tired voice. She shut Mrs. Black's portrait with her wand. Harry shouted: "Show yourself." Remus went moved into the lamplight, his hands held high.

"I am Remus John Lupin, werewolf, sometimes known as Moony, one of the four creators of the Marauder's Map, married to Nymphadora, usually known as Tonks, and I taught you how to produce a Patronus, Harry, which takes the form of a stag."

Harry looked calmer now, and Lupin felt secretly proud about his vigilant reaction. He felt a forgotten warmness, being with Harry, Ron and Hermione, after all this troubled time. They walked into the kitchen. They explained to him what had happened the previous months, and asked him about the after-wedding events. The memory of that certain day was painful for Remus, but he answered them without showing his feelings.

"Well, Kingsley saved us. Thanks to his warning most of the wedding guests were able to Disapparate before they arrived."

"Were they Death Eaters or Ministry people?" asked Hermione.

"A mixture." He sighed. "But to all intents and purposes they're the same thing now. There were about a dozen of them, but they didn't know you were there, Harry. Arthur heard a rumor that they tried to torture your whereabouts out of Scrimgeour before they killed him; if it's true, he didn't give you away."

Remus noticed the shock at their expressions. He suddenly felt very tired. The conversation continued concerning the general situation, the Muggle-borns hunt, the Death Eaters, Albus Dumbledore…

He ran his fingers through his hair, hesitated for a minute, and then got straight to the point of his visit. "I'll understand if you can't confirm this, Harry, but the Order is under the impression that Dumbledore left you a mission."

"He did." Harry replied, "and Ron and Hermione are in on it and they're coming with me."

"Can you confide in me what the mission is?"

Lupin waited for an answer, breathless for what seemed like hours.

"I can't, Remus, I'm sorry. If Dumbledore didn't tell you, I don't think I can."

"I thought you'd say that." He answered, feeling disappointed. How could he ever think that Harry would give the mission away that easy? "But I might still be of some use to you. You know what I am and what I can do. I could come with you to provide protection. There would be no need to tell me exactly what you were up to."

It was Hermione who spoke next, and before she could even open her mouth, Remus knew what she was going to ask. His fears got affirmed. "But what about Tonks?"

"What about her?" he asked, forcing his voice to sound casual, as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Well, you're married! How does she feel about you going away with us?"

He felt a sharp pang in his chest. "Tonks will be perfectly safe. She'll be at her parents' house." If she only knew, Hermione would say he was right.

"Remus, is everything all right… you know… between you and…"

"Everything is fine, thank you". The sorrow of the previous hours filled him again immediately. He needed to hold Nymphadora in his arms, he felt so unsafe and torn without her. Anyway, why did it even matter? His life was already destroyed, far before he had left, far before he had even agree to be with her. "Tonks is going to have a baby."

"Oh, how wonderful!" cried Hermione.

"Excellent!" said Ron with a big grin.

"Congratulations!" said Harry, and made Remus feel sick in his stomach. He wondered if finding the kids was a good idea after all, he wished that he would be alone somewhere, alone with a not functioning brain. He tried to bring the conversation back to the previous issue.

"So… do you accept my offer? Will three become four? I cannot believe that Dumbledore would have disapproved, he appointed me your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, after all. And I must tell you that I believe we are dacing magic many of us never encountered or imagined."

Harry's expression changed in a way that Remus could not explain. "Just… just to be clear. You want to leave Tonks at her parents' house and come away with us?"

"She'll be perfectly safe there, they'll look after her. Harry, I'm sure James would have wanted me to stick with you." He noticed that he sounded defending.

"Well, I'm not. I'm pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren't sticking with your own kid, actually."

Lupin gulped. Those words had cut him like a sharp knife. He couldn't stand thinking of that kid… his kid. How would it feel, how would it turn out to be? "You don't understand." He managed to whisper.

"Explain, then."

"I… I made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks." He wished they would understand, but even he couldn't. "I did it against my better judgment and I have regretted it very much ever since."

"I see. So you are going to dump her and the kid and run off with us?"

He felt blood filling his head, and got up. "Don't you understand what I've done to my wife and my unborn child? I should never have married her, I've made her an outcast!" He kicked the chair. "You have only ever seen me amongst the Order, or under Dumbledore's protection at Hogwarts! You don't know how most of the wizarding world sees creatures like me! When they know of my affliction, they can barely talk to me! Don't you see what I've done? Even her own family is disgusted by our marriage, what parents want their own daughter to marry a werewolf? And the child… the child…" He couldn't bear the thought. He felt like smashing his idiotic head on the wall so that he wouldn't be able to think about that anymore. "My kind don't usually breed! It will be like me, I am convinced of it… how can I forgive myself, when I knowingly risked passing on my own condition to an innocent child? And if, by some miracle, it is not like me, then it will be better off, a hundred times so, without a father of whom it must always be ashamed!" His voice was trembling. At least he had said what had to get out of him.

"Remus", whispered Hermione, "Don't say that… how could any child be ashamed of you?"

"Oh, I don't know, Hermione. I'd be pretty ashamed of him." Said Harry, and immediately looked shocked with his very own words.

That hit him like a punch in the stomach. He stood there, breathless, trying to realize what he had just heard, and how surprisingly right it sounded.

"If the new regime thinks Muggle-borns are bad, what will they do to a half-werewolf whose father is in the Order? My father died trying to protect my mother and me, and you reckon he'd tell you to abandon your kid to go on an adventure with us?"

Remus felt mad, furious. "How… how dare you? This is not about a desire for… for personal glory… how dare you suggest such a…"

"I think you're feeling a bit of a daredevil. You fancy stepping into Sirius' shoes." He ignored Hermione's interruptions. "I'd never have believed this. The man who taught me to fight Dementors-a coward."

Lupin raised his wand quickly, feeling his cheeks flushing, his heart racing, and his stomach curling. He had never felt worse in his life. A loud bang was heard, and the next moment, crazy with despair and shame, he disappeared into the night. Images of James and Lily with baby Harry, of Sirius, Molly and Arthur, filled his head, and were immediately replaced by her face, her beautiful pale face, surrounded by lifeless, mousy brown hair. Harry had been harsh. But he had been right. Remus Lupin had deserved every little word.

Coward! Coward! Remus Lupin nodded and walked away, as sobs started shaking his body, again after all these years.