A/N:

I am soooooo sorry for not updating for forever. Pleeeeasssee forgive meh? –gets down her knees and begs- … and, er, I blame midterms?

I can't remember whose idea this was –pokes Reviews-

But Akatsuki go to the beach. xD

Sharingan Red, Among Other Things

The Akatsuki were sitting in their Common Room of Awesomeness, when the Leader got an insane look on his face. Now the Leader's 'Ebil Look' can make anyone tremble (Akatsuki members included.) But the Leader's 'Insane Look' will have absolutely no effect on anybody but the Akatsuki – and they will shake with fear, and will feel it in their very bones. Once in a while, they'll run of screaming like little girls, and totally lose their bad-ass reputation until they re-earn it. (Usually by massacring a village or something.)

So on the inside, at that moment, each stoic Akatsuki member was flipping - either mentally shrieking in fear, or mentally banging their heads and cursing the day their father met their mother. Except for Itachi, who (on the inside) looked like Christmas had come early because secretly, he loved all of Leader's crazy ideas.

"I have an awesome idea." Leader said, much to everyone's dismay (again, excluding Itachi).

"We are going to go for a trip. Pack extra clothes and a bathing suit!" Leader yelled, and raced to his room to do so. Only Deidara, Naruto and Tobi cheered. The rest of the Akatsuki (Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, Hidan and Zetsu) groaned and dragged their feet all the way to their rooms, and then a good deal more.

"What the hell is going through his fucking mind?" Kisame asked his silent partner. Said partner shrugged. Kakuzu was bitching to Hidan about how much money the trip was going to cost, and Hidan was bitching to Kakuzu about how much God hated Leader at the moment. Neither was listening to the other.

Deidara was skipping and Naruto was skip-hopping. Both were screaming at the top of their lungs. "WE'RE GOING ON A TRIPPERZ WE'ER GOING ON A TRIPPERZ! YAYNESS!!!!!!!!!!!" Zetsu covered his ears in distress, and the Leader merely smirked in that 'I hate you all, (a lot) which is why I'm doing this' kind of way.

Tobi threw up his hands and dashed down the hallway crying, "Tobi is a GOOD BOY!!"

xXx

Ten minutes later found everyone walking down a dirt path, bags slung on the shoulders. "Did you bring games, un?" Deidara asked suddenly, sounding slightly worried. Naruto nodded. They started lagging behind, due to the fact that they were playing Travel Sorry.

"How long is this trip, Leader-sama?" Kisame asked, glaring at the ground darkly. The Leader merely grinned like a maniac, and picked up the pace. "TWO DAYS!" he called back, once he was about fifty yards ahead of everyone. It was a smart move, because everyone (excluding Naruto, Deidara and Tobi) groaned and wished they could throttle Sir Leader-sama.

xXx

"We're here!"

"Where's here?" Itachi asked shortly.

"Here!" Leader responded, gesturing widely.

Hidan looked miserable. His thoughts, exactly? - We're at a beach. A friggen beach. In the middle of friggen no where. And I'm friggen hot. And I didn't bring a bathing suit. Jashin curse Kakuzu! He'll gloat now!

Itachi looked resigned. – At least it's not somewhere like the last vacation. Gods, it was cold! … Damnit, I owe Kisame three hundred ryo. How the frig did he know were were going to a beach?

Kisame looked triumphant. – Yes! Itachi owes me three hundred ryo! Go lucky guesses!

Kakuzu was staring blankly. He wasn't thinking anything.

Deidara and Naruto happened to be thinking the same thing – A BEACH!... ramen!!!!!!!... Sand is Clay? (un?)

Zetsu sighed and wandered off to collect seashells, with Tobi in tow. Itachi groaned about the heat and took off his cloak, revealing a bathing suit and hot body. Two hundred or two hundred and one (Kisame wasn't quite sure) immediately swarmed the Uchiha, who immediately used super-cool ninja moves to try to sneak off. Sadly, he failed due to the fact that there were too damn many. Everytime he body-flickered somewhere, he'd just be moving into a whole 'nother group of insane girls.

Hidan laughed, took a picture (which he WOULD be sending to Konoki's Offical Itachi Fan-Girl Club) and began making a mini-sand sculpture of Jashin and a cross. Kakuzu absent-mindedly helped, not realizing that the cross was supposed to be a cross, not a money sign.

Naruto, Deidara, Leader, and Kisame all raced into the water. They were up to their necks, with Naruto drifting further when the blond Kyuubi container remembered he couldn't swim.

He immediately began thrashing and flailing as Kisame laughed at him. Oh Scary Leader-Sama arched an eyebrow and stared, and Deidara clapped. When Naruto disappeared under the water, Deidara started counting.

"One-Mississippi, un. Two-Mississippi,, un. … 34-Mississippi, un." But because of the 'uns', it was really 34 times 2. So basically, Naruto had been under there for a long friggen time, and Deidara was impressed that his partner could hold his breath that long. And it was at about '39-Mississippi, un' that Oh-So-Intelligent Leader-Sama realized Naruto probably couldn't hold his breath that long.

"I don't think Naruto can swim." He stated calmly. "Just throwing that out there."

Kisame sighed, and dove under the water. Everyone should have gills… he thought as he gulped in water. And then he spotted Naruto being dragged off by a mermaid. WTF? Kisame began swimming, but his legs wouldn't move. He couldn't think, or yell for help. All he could do was watch the blond shinobi get dragged off by a (hot) mermaid as he slowly sank into darkness…

xXx

"Neh?" Kisame sputtered, as he swung his body out of bed. "Just a horrible, horrible dream… but the three-hundred ryo from Itachi was kind of cool…" And then he saw a half-drowned Naruto in the bed next to him. Kisame suddenly felt weak, and sat back down on the hospital bed.

"Damn, you just had to remember the ryo." Itachi muttered, appearing out of nowhere.

Kisame stared. And stared some more. And stared.

"What?" Itachi finally snapped.

"YOU'RE FRIGGEN REDDER THAN A LOBSTER!" Kisame blurted, and then he fell off the bed with a thump, body shaking in silent, hysterical laughter.

"…" Itachi didn't say anything. But his glower read 'When you heal, you are going to be a DEAD shark!'

"Haa! And.. haaa!. You'd haaa! Think that the fangirls… haha! That were all over you… hahahhahaha! Would shield you from the sun! haahhahahahahha! OMG! You're like, so red, it's SHARINGAN RED! HAHAHAHAHAH!"

"And I thought you were a fish! Shouldn't you be able to swim under water? What'd you do, forget to breathe?"

Kisame's face reddened, giving away the answer.

That shut him up, Itachi thought smugly.

A/N:

The end.

Again, please forgive me!

-Aes Sedai