I don't own anything relating to Pokémon.

The first thing Gary sensed when he came to was hands violently shaking his side. Confused, the eevee blinked his beady eyes open, his vision blurry at first. He lifted his head off the ground he was seemingly lying on and glared daggers at the jackass who was bothering him.

Of course, it was Ash.

"Gary! You're awake!" The pikachu leaned away as Oak gained his bearings. They were in their room in the guild, and he had been sleeping on his straw bed. That was strange, given that the last thing he remembered was emptying his stomach on Ash's feet. "It's about time! I was actually worried about you dying unlike a friend…rival…bully I know."

"You're acting like you're not already used to it, Ashy." Gary jeered before recalling what the other had said. "And dying? Obviously, I'm fine."

"How the hell was I was supposed to know beforehand, jerk?" The mouse waved his hands in the air. "You passed out after throwing up on me – fucking thanks for that by the way."

"No problem."

"So after a magnezone came got Drowzee, I had to drag you back here, find a pecha berry, and get you to eat it. You didn't wake up though! You slept through dinner, a storm last night, and you didn't move a muscle when Loudred woke me up a minute ago!"

Gary gave a noncommittal grunt. "Well, I got poisoned because of you being a dumbass. So there's that."

Ash ran a hand down his face. "Why do I even try with you!?"

Oak just smirked at him before jumping to the subject he believed was most important. "How much did Birdbrain pay us for the save?"

The mouse crossed his arms and huffed. "Three hundred."

Just dammit Polly. After saving that kid's ass – in a very literal sense – that's all they got? "I'm gonna shove that stupid money down Chatot's throat and hope he chokes on it. That's the only thing it's good for."

Ash chuckled. "And then I can bury his corpse under tons of tauros shit."

"Bury Loudred too while you're at it. Alive."

"Right, can't forget him!" Ketchum nodded enthusiastically before going to gather the backpack. "But until then, let's go show our badass faces yeah? They're probably waiting on-" Gary frowned and glanced down at his stomach when it made a sound close to a dying wailmer. "-Oh right, you must be hungry!" Ash riffled through the sack.

"So wait, you ate dinner with them?" The eevee balanced on his haunches as he picked up the apple that was rolled over to him with both of his front feet. Not having fingers was the absolute worst. Gary took a bite. "Awkward," he said while chewing.

Ash shook his head. "Actually, they all insisted that I keep an eye on you and eat in here. It was cool that they were all worried."

The researched snorted. "They weren't fucking concerned. They just didn't want you eating with them." Gary frowned when he bit down on a seed.

Ketchum gapped at him before shouting out, "Every single one of them are assholes!"

"True that. It's me and you against th-"

"What are you two DOING BACK HERE?" Both Gary and Ash groaned at the insanely loud voice bouncing off the walls. It was getting closer. "WE ARE ALL UP THERE WAITING AND-" As soon Loudred stepped into sight, Oak spat the seed in his mouth right at the bastard's eye. He grinned in victory when the irritant howled in pain. "HOLY CRAP! GETITOUTGETITOUT!" Loudred ran back the way he came, screaming the whole way.

Gary held out a paw, and Ash clapped it. "Bull's eye dude!"

The eevee snorted. "Naturally. Now let's go make our grand appearance."

"AND…THREE! SMILES GO FOR MILES!"

The evolution pokémon yawned after blatantly refusing to shout that stupid chant. Chatot threw him a furious look as he addressed the others. "Okay, Pokémon. Time to get to work!" The crew – sans Gary and Ash – cheered in response before dispersing. Oak felt Loudred's rage-filled glare on him, so he just smirked haughtily at the loud-mouth. Loudred narrowed his eyes (one was bloodshot) and lost the stare down.

"Ehem!" Gary faced Polly when the bird hopped over to them, his gaze anything but friendly.

"What's with that look? We should be mad, not you!" Ash's cheeks let out tiny sparks. "You cheated us out of our money!"

"It is standard guild procedure!" Chatot squawked, his no-nonsense tone rubbing Gary the wrong way. "And it will remain that way! If you don't like it, then leave!"

The eevee barked out a laugh. "You're going to have to try harder than that if you want us out of here, Birdbrain."

Chatot's feathers rustled. "Enforcing our monetary system wasn't why I came over. I have been informed that you have mistreated one of your fellow crew members-"

"Loudred's a dick," Ash reasoned, "He deserved it."

A sharp intake of breath came from the bird, but he continued like the pikachu hadn't disrupted him. "-verbally, and I have no tolerance for bullying!"

"Bullying?" Gary questioned before he understood. He exasperatedly groaned. "You're talking about Yup Yup, aren't you?"

"That is not his proper name!" Chatot scolded sharply. "Bidoof came to me and-"

"Okay. How about we skip the lecture that you know neither of us are going to effing listen to." Gary interrupted the flying type, and Polly's eyes widened. "So about you just cut to the damn chase and tell us what we're doing today."

Chatot seemed like he was about to explode, but the fuse was snuffed out before it could do some damage. "Go do whatever you want," he said tightly.

Ash gasped excitedly. "Whatever we want? Like anything?"

The bird didn't answer him, turning on his heel and heading for Wigglytuff's office. Ash didn't seem to care at all. He cheered before sprinting for the ladder. "Let's go kick some butt, Gary!"

Oak didn't follow him just yet. He sneered at Chatot's back. "Yeah, go let tubby get that stick out of your ass! I'm sure he wouldn't mind!"

It was only when Birdbrain stared back at him in complete and utter disbelief that Gary made his satisfied leave.

When the eevee reached the first underground floor of the guild, he promptly searched of his partner. Unsurprisingly, the pikachu was scanning the outlaw board, standing in the way of an annoyed trio of poochyena behind him.

Gary just shook his head at the moron's antics before turning to go check out the job bulletin board. However, something – or rather – someone caught his eye. Bidoof was by the back wall, worriedly gazing at Ash while Sunflora patted him sympathetically on the back. The normal/grass duo then noticed Gary, Yup Yup instantly tensing and the flower frowning disapprovingly at him.

"You both can go screw yourselves!" After they flinched at his sudden yell, Oak pointedly looked away and went to stand in front of the panel.

"Well I haven't seen…or heard…you around here before." Gary peered over his shoulder when a stranger started to talk to him. It was a swellow, and there was a wurmple standing beside her. Her tone held curiosity. "Are you part of a new rescue team?"

"Yeah, the name's Gary." The eevee fully faced the pair, giving the bug type an impressive look. "You have a lot of balls."

"What do you mean by that?" Wurmple questioned, his voice softspoken.

Had this bug really ignored the circle of life for this damn long? Ignorance was bliss, he guessed. "What I mean is that she could get really hungry one day and poof! You're her appetizer."

A cold sweat formed on Wurmple's brow as he glanced at his appalled friend. "N-No! She's my friend! She'd never do th-that!"

Gary shrugged. "I'm just saying…bug types are weak to flying for a reason."

"Y-y-yeesh! I…" The bug looked like he was about to have a panic attack. "I n-need some fresh air!" Wurmple crawled away like his life depended on it. In a way…it did.

Swellow's break fell open in shock. She looked between the eevee and her fleeing friend before deciding to go after the latter. "Hey Wurmple wait! You know that I'm a vegetarian!"

Gary stared at their backs dispassionately for a moment. He probably wasn't going to see that bug ever again. Oh well. He returned his attention to the board and scanned for any potential jobs. He was disappointed by his options. There were four jobs, and two of them involved items. After dealing with Spoink, that was an absolute no.

One was a rescue mission in Beach Cave, and it paid fuck-all. So no. The last was a rescue mission in Drenched Bluff. Gary almost took it, but then he saw who he was searching for. A nidorino. That poison type could drown there for all he cared. And no, he wasn't being petty.

"Gary!" Said pokémon glanced over to see Ash bounding over to him with a job in his hand. "I found something!"

"It better not be stupid," Oak commented as he peered at the words being held in front of his face. They were going to catch a kabuto – who apparently was a runner – in Drenched Bluff. No items, it paid well, and no poison types. It was perfect. "Seems decent. Good picking, Ash." Wow…did he actually just say that? Did that poison permanently mess up his brain?

Ketchum's jaw hit the floor. "Was that…a genuine compliment from Gary Motherfucking Oak? I have to be dreaming!"

"…And that was the last time you'll ever get one from me."

Drenched Bluff

B6F

"Gah! Gary! Catch him! Catch him!"

"I'm trying Ash! Who knew that a slow kabuto could be so fast?!"

"He's heading for the stairs! Gah! There's a shellos in my way!"

"Just jump – Dammit Ketchum! I said jump, not trip!"

"My poor face…! Stop yelling at me and just get him!"

"My feet can only move so fast!"

"He's getting closer to the exit!"

"I know th – Holy crap!"

"I said get closer, not slip on water!"

"Ash, I swear that I'm going to kill you in you sleep one of these nights."

"Pfft! I'd love to see you try! And this is just great! He got away!"

"…Fucking hell."

The pair returned to the guild, and Chatot wisely didn't say a word to them. If he had, then Gary would've had a sudden craving for filleted bird.

The eevee grumbled angrily as they walked toward the dining hall, glaring hard at the flying type's back as Polly headed for the same place. While it was true that Chatot hadn't uttered anything, the bird had a pep in his step like he had won the damned lottery. Stupid dumb bird, and stupid dumb speedy-ass rock types.

"Don't worry Gary!" Ash chirped from beside him. "Next time, I'll pick-"

"Oh no." The evolution pokémon whirled on his partner, ears flicking in irritation. "There will be no next time! I will pick every job we do from now on!"

"Wha…that's not fair! I only messed up this one time!"

Gary didn't give a single shit. "Well, it's either that, or become the laughing stock of the whole stupid guild!"

Ash gave the other an odd look. "I don't know if we're hearing the same things, but I know that haven't heard anyone laugh yet."

"They're laughing in their minds. I can sense it."

"Whoa, you can read minds now? That's awesome!"

Oak resisted the urge to beat his head against the nearest wall. "What the hell – No, Ash. I can't read minds!"

Ash huffed as his harsh tone. "Don't act like that was a stupid question. You can see visions of the future for fuck's sake!"

The eevee narrowed his eyes before eventually yielding. "Fine. I'll let you have that one."

"Thank you!"

They ended their conversation when they entered the dining hall, and it seemed like everyone had the same idea. All talk ceased when Gary and Ash strolled through, the formerly human pair being the last to arrive.

Gary politely nodded to a waving Wigglytuff as he sauntered over to his seat, pointedly ignoring the rest of the crew. Ash did the opposite, smiling and even calling out a little greeting to Bidoof who was avoiding their gazes. Gary's lips twitched when they sat down. Tonight's dinner was going to be fun. He could already tell.

Everyone ate in silence, and the eevee could tell that it was uncomfortable for the older guild members. He shared an entertained look with Ash. It hilarious how their presence ruled the room.

It was when the crew were almost done eating that Gary chose to stir the pot. After swallowing a mouthful, he faced a tense Loudred. The bastard had a deep frown on his face the whole time. Gary cleared his throat. "Is there anything wrong, Loudred?"

His innocent tone must've struck a nerve – that was the plan – since he slammed his fruit back onto his plate, startling the rest of the members. "Don't you DARE-" Oak nearly went cross-eyed focusing on the finger shoved in his personal space. "-ask that like you are a perfect little ANGEL!"

The eevee's tail leisurely swished behind him, and he had to disregard Ash's shit-eating grin or else he'd burst out laughing. "And what have I done wrong?"

Loudred's eye twitched. "What have you…" The purple creature stood up in rage, gaining the attention of Wigglytuff, who was usually distracted by his apples. Perfect. "YOU ARE DISRESPECTFUL, VIOLENT, RUDE-"

Gary calmly held up a paw. "Imma let you finish, but I don't agree with you calling me rude. Especially since all of you basically refused to let my partner here eat dinner with you yesterday." He gestured to the suddenly sad pikachu. "I label that as bullying, and…" Oak boldly met Chatot's stare. "I have no tolerance for bullying."

The bird let out an indignant squawk, his feathers sticking out all over the place. "I'll have you know…!"

"Chatot! I'm very disappointed in you!" All eyes swiveled over to a stunned Wigglytuff, and Gary allowed the ghost of a smirk to grow. "How can you act that way toward our new friends?"

"G-Guildmaster! You were here yesterday! You didn't say anything about it!"

"I must have been distracted by my delicious apples!" The pink creature pursed his lips. "You all should feel bad about treating friends like that!" Most of the occupants of the room lowered their heads, and Gary heard Ash snort beside him. It couldn't get better than this. Wigglytuff finished off his apple, his bright blue eyes finding Oak and Ketchum. "Friends Ash and Gary, please forgive them of their rudeness!"

The eevee nodded. "We'll try."

The yellow mouse made a show of wiping his nose. "I-It'll be hard though!"

The Guildmaster smiled at them before saying, "I'll leave the rest of you to think about what you've done!" and leaving the dining hall.

It was silent for all of two seconds before uncontrollable laughter filled the air. Ash was banging on the table as he struggled to breathe.

Gary grinned at all of the gazes directed at them, standing up from his seat. "Well that was fun as hell." He made a motion for the pikachu to follow him as he arrogantly trotted over to the exit. "The best way to end the day, yeah? We got tubby wrapped around our little fingers…" Gary ignored the fact that he didn't have any. He wasn't trying to bring his mood down right now. "…and you all got yelled at."

"You all should be ashamed of yourselves!" Ash said between chuckles, catching up to the researcher.

Loudred had murder in his eyes. "You TWO-!"

"Goodnight!" Gary cut off the bastard before turning to leave out of the door. Then he paused, inwardly snickering as he threw over his shoulder, "And oh yeah. Anyone found the toenails I hid in today's batch yet?"

He watched as some of the members quickly pushed away their plates in disgust, as some of them grabbed their throats in horror, and as Sunflora simply fainted.

Gary then walked away from the chaos with a hysterical Ash at his side. "Damn dude!" The electric type wiped away a tear. "That made my day like a thousand times better!"

For once, he could agree with the trainer. Now, if the crew messed with him, they messed with the Guildmaster.

Take that Loudred, Birdbrain, and the others who actually didn't deserve it but Gary honesty couldn't care less. They were at the wrong place at the wrong time…not that they could help it, but whatever. Gary took the day back.

Carpe diem motherfuckers.

This was a filler, but it was a fun filler. Gary has to be in a good mood waking up before being assigned gatekeeper. It is the only way the guild would remain standing XD