As the evening wore on Chakotay was greeted and congratulated by many of his friends and former crew. Seven was enjoying a reminiscing conversation with the Wildman's and Chakotay found himself in a lapse of well-wishers. It was only then did it come to his mind that one member of Voyagers former crew had not come to personally congratulate him; in fact she had disappeared since she had done her official duties.
"Thought you might be here" remarked tom Paris as he stepped out on to the secluded balcony overlooking San-Francisco.
"Whatever gave you that impression?" she asked in her famous husky voice without even turning to look at him.
"A hunch" he said casually as he looked at the tiny form of his former commanding officer.
Allowing a strained laugh to break from her lips she turned to look at him, her eyes glistening with tears "I think I'm too old for this" she scoffed.
"Nobody is too old to be heartbroken" tom pointed out.
"Heartbroken?" she snapped in shock when with a sigh she asked "is it that obvious?"
Tom came to stand next to her and gaze out at the night sky of the glistening city "she is quite a stunner" tom said without even looking at her.
With a snort Kathryn shook her head and said "way to make an old girl sad"
"I'm not the one who agreed to conduct the service."
Turning from him she asked seriously "what would you have me do?"
"He deserves to know"
"What?" she asked staring out at the horizon
"The truth"
Kathryn remained silent for a long while as though deep in thought then shook her head and told her friend softly "they deserve to be happy."
Tom looked at her and saw only a great woman he respected a great deal "so do you" he told her.
"what makes my happiness any more important than theirs?" she asked him "look at me tom, I am a Starfleet admiral here in uniform to promote him, ever here to be his commanding officer the confines of protocol and rank will always be between us, I worked my whole life to become a Starfleet admiral, you know that and you of all people knows what that costs to a family life."
"One day Chakotay may become an admiral now he has chosen to stay in Starfleet." tom reminded her.
"Perhaps" she agreed with a far out gaze over San-Francisco "but Seven will always be civilian and that makes all the difference."
"my farther is an admiral as was yours." tom said remembering their childhoods, though as a boy he had never met young Kathryn he knew their fathers were close and served together as admirals.
"and our mothers are civilians" Kathryn reminded him "your parents have shared many great and happy years together and have a child they are proud of" she said resting her had on his arm looking up at him with a beaming smile "and a beautiful grandchild to show for it. Had my father lived it would be the same for my parents." turning from him she gave a heavy burdened sigh and said "you know as well as I that for Chakotay and I to share a life together one of us would have to leave Starfleet."
"and you're not prepared to do it." it was a statement to finish hers not a question.
Without confirming or disagreeing Kathryn sad sadly "I would never ask him to do it."
"and that" tom said softly following her gaze out to the city "is why he is marring a beautiful blonde civilian and not Starfleet's red headed golden girl."
Tom and Kathryn shared silence for many minutes as they looked out over the bustling ancient city now home to Starfleet headquarters and academy.
What neither of the two friends had seen during their conversation was the tall broad figure now retreating from the balcony, his deep dark coloured eyes shining with open wonder over what he had just heard. Suddenly for him the joy from his promotion of that evening gone and his brand new four captains pips had become a heavy burden he has chosen to wear.