Chapter 8
Ava sat quietly in the helicopter as it sped away from the falling fortress; she did not know that the engines would be restarted, or that Thor had made his way out of the glass cage before it smashed into the earth below. All she knew was a numbness, a painful buzzing, and darkness. The image of Coulson dying burned through her mind in slow motion. And then there had been Loki, the one she knew, the man she loved – right there in front of her, standing with her for the first time in a long time…only to be cruelly snatched away.
Did that man even exist anymore? Had he actually died when he fell into the void?
Ava swallowed and looked around the cabin. Men dressed in dark clothes sat silently with their guns and their grim expressions. There had been many losses today – losses for both sides. Loki stood up the front behind the pilot, his hands behind his back, and his face never turning to see her. If he had looked maybe it would have broken him, broken the cacoon of darkness and loneliness and brought him home once and for all.
The young woman saw the edge of the sea outside her window giving way to houses and buildings, roads with cars, and ever growing numbers of people. She knew nothing of Manhattan, of New York. This was just one of many cities on the eternally spinning globe. And she was just one of many lives within it.
The craft landed on the top of a tall building inscribed with the name 'STARK'. The doors opened and the men all climbed out. Ava sat. She sat and looked at the ground between her feet.
"Come." Loki's hand was in front of her face. "Let me show you the new world I have planned."
"I have seen your new world. I have been in the middle of your plans." She did not look up at him. "And they are truly the most hideous things I have ever seen." Ava rose and left the man standing in her words.
She saw The Tesseract and a greying man nearby. He was tinkering and the Cube was glowing. The young woman waked right on by and headed down into the building itself. The moment she entered the penthouse she knew it belonged to Tony Stark – it had his touch everywhere she looked.
Ava still felt the throbbing in her head from when the Hulk had battered her against the ceiling. She touched the wound gently and found that pieces of dried blood came away with her fingers. The young woman found a sink surrounded by bottles of fine alcohol and stout crystal cups. She ran the water and reached out to let it run over her hands when her wrist was gently caught.
"Let me." Loki had followed her down and now looked her in the face; half of the man she loved and half the lost stranger mingled in his eyes. The man reached for a small cloth that lay folded neatly on top of an elegant pile. He ran the water over it and dabbed it to the gash on Ava's hairline.
There was a silence. She slapped him. Hard. Loki touched the side of his face gingerly before turning back to Ava. She hit him again. Her hand felt like the skin would fall away from the sharp pain tingling through it.
"What…" He didn't take a step back, his face was confused. The sound of the tap gushing onto the cloth now at the bottom of the sink filled the background.
"What? You ask 'what' when you know exactly what." Ava's voice was raised. "You just killed a good man – an exceptional man. You stabbed him through the back with your trickery, and your lies, and your foul plot. Why do you care about this goddamn world? Why when you would have been welcome back to Asgard? When I would have been by you the entire time?"
"When?" Loki frowned briefly. "You mean to say your allegiances are no longer with me?"
"They are not." Ava watched the expression on his face flicker with anger and hurt. "I will not ally myself to whatever this man is."
"This man?" He raised his voice and stepped away. "This man was betrayed and cast out! How dare you judge me when you know exactly what happened!"
"You don't even know what happened!" Ava started to continue but slammed the tap off in frustration before she did so. "You only know a lie that you told yourself as you sat alone on some cold planet with whoever the hell is controlling you. Who is it? Who is the puppet master?"
"I am a king! I control myself! I do what I want!"
"You don't want this!" Ava stepped right up to him. "You never wanted this. This is not you and it never will be. You want something else and you're hiding behind this plan. Cowering behind this plan."
The man clenched his jaw.
"What are you going to do now, great King Loki? Are you going to force me to bow in front of you?" The words hit him painfully and she knew it. Ava felt guilty for a moment but not for long. Not after what he had done. "Because your brother isn't around anymore so you can't force him to his knees. How does that feel? Thor, the man you were raised with, the brother you truly loved, gone."
"Thor deserved what happened to him."
"In what way? He fought for what was good and right in this world. He fought for you and now he never will." Ava turned away. "And if he wont and I obviously cant, then who will?"
"I don't need anyone to fight for me."
"You're wrong." The young woman stepped into the room below, pulling her weapons off and setting them on a sofa before facing him again. "And I can't do anything to make it right. What am I supposed to do now that I have done everything? What else is there? I'm nothing special and obviously I never was anything special to you."
"How can you say that?" Loki stepped down after her, still angry, voice still hard and raised. But he was being honest.
"Because I can't do anything more until you do something too. I have walked and run and fallen over in this darkness and never have you raised a hand to help. Never have you tried to find me."
"You don't know that."
Ava's face softened. "Then tell me. Please tell me."
Loki walked up close and took a piece of her hair between his fingers. He watched it before tucking it behind her ear and setting his eyes on her face. His voice was sincere. "I thought of you every day I was gone."
Ava half turned from him. "Why should I believe you?"
"Because it's me." He followed her movement and turned her chin to gently face him. "Its me, Ava. I brought you here so we could get through this together."
"I don't believe that this is you. This is a shadow of you, of who you were and could be. This whole thing is a lie so intricate you almost believe it yourself."
There was a silence and in it the woman realised something. There was not just darkness but also a tangle. A tangle of ideas and ideals and of lies and truth. They were a mess – lost up together and wound around each other so many times it was impossible to tell which was which and which was right.
Ava crossed her arms defensively. "You killed your brother, Loki. You killed Thor and Coulson and who knows how many others on that ship." Ava crossed her arms in a defensive sadness. She looked him in the eye. "I love you still but…"
"But what?"
"The fact that there is a 'but' at all should indicate a problem." The young woman straightened herself and walked outside onto the immense balcony.
Loki turned and watched her go and took a step to follow before going still and clenching his jaw and turning back to the city below.
0.0.0
Ava strode up the stairs to the roof, her heart was racing in her chest and she thought she might just burst into tears. The helicopter was gone but the Tesseract was there. A man with grey hair and a little middle aged belly knelt beside the object and the machine it was strapped to. He tinkered away constantly, his eyes glowing blue under the power of the spell he was under.
This was Thor's friend.
"Are you Erik?" Ava stepped up.
The man jumped, he had not been aware of her presence. "I am, you must be Ava." He stood and offered his hand.
"How do you know who I am?"
"Thor mentioned you."
"He mentioned you too. You were a good friend to him."
Erik nodded and smiled. He seemed himself. He seemed alright.
Ava breathed in. "You do know that using the Tesseract is going to open the earth up to an attack? That people are going to die?"
The man nodded. "I do."
He was too relaxed. It was unnerving. "Doesn't that bother you? Your people are going to be slaughtered."
"They are already slaughtering each other in droves. As Loki said 'Freedom is life's great lie. Once you accept that in your heart you will know peace.'"
The young woman hesitated. "He is a better actor than I give him credit for."
"What?"
"He would not believe that for himself."
"He doesn't have to. Not him. He gets the burden of purpose."
"Does he now?"
Erik knelt down beside the Cube and apologised, he had to keep working. But he continued to talk. "The Tesseract has shown me many things. Beautiful, amazing things. Giving myself to it was the best thing I ever did."
Ava knew that this man never gave himself to the Tesseract. He had been taken, against his will, and his mind wiped. Perhaps that was what happened to Loki. Perhaps, deep down, Erik was watching himself and screaming and yelling. Perhaps he was in a glass cage; terrified of the drop should they take a wrong step.
The young woman looked out at the sprawling city. It was so messy; it smelled of cigarettes and car fumes and sounded like the wail of a million souls all scrambling over each other for something more. And it was beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful. The struggle of life is the most gorgeous thing in all the universe; the struggle for love was even greater.
When Loki came out of his darkness she would hold him close and tell him that he was finally home. Ava was so excited for that moment. So dreadfully excited, so full of hope that it would come. She would say to him 'This is you and you are staying. You're staying, we'll handle this one moment at a time. Step by step, okay?' and he would smile and kiss her and they would cry for every moment lost and smile for every moment to come.
In her heart Ava knew that it wouldn't happen like that. It never would. It couldn't while she was in the darkness too and she wasn't prepared to leave it, to leave him. If he stood on the edge of a building with the intention of jumping she would climb up beside him and try to convince him stay even as she stood on the ledge ready to fall with him. Ava was too close to it all. To broken over it all. She would die for him and sometimes she wished she had died so she wouldn't have to see him as he was. It was tearing her apart.
The sound of spluttering engines and the red glint of a man made super machine tore Ava back into reality. She quickly wiped the tears from her face and looked up. Iron Man had come home and he was hovering right above them.
"Shut it down, Selvig." He said through his chipped and torn suit.
"Its too late!" The man yelled back. Ava frowned at the sudden anger in his voice and realised immediately that he had not seen her as an enemy but as an ally. That he had not even thought that she would destroy the Tesseract because she was with Loki – and that wasn't the case at all. "She cant stop now. She wants to show us something! A new universe…"
Stark aimed his weaponry at the Cube and looked over at Ava. He didn't say anything to her. He just fired at the Tesseract. The energy surrounding the power source exploded the attack and sent Tony reeling back through the air. Erik was tossed aside like a rag doll, his head making contact with the reactors nearby. Ava was thrown from her feet and slid through the gravel on her hands, her body folding and rolling and landing a bit too close to the edge for comfort. She shook her head and blinked hard and stood just in time to see Iron Man landing on his balcony.
The young woman went to Erik quickly and found him quite unconscious. He was alive though and he would be sore when he came to. But for now no one was watching the Tesseract. No one was protecting the Cube. Ava straightened.
It would be so easy to push the Tesseract from the building. It would tumble down and though the Cube itself wouldn't be destroyed every preparation that helped it open the portal would be. Things would be delayed. She would have time. She needed time. This man, this Erik Selvig, there had to be a way for him to be free and true again. There would be time for that.
Instead she hurried downstairs and into the penthouse.
"Stalling me wont change anything." Loki was speaking when she entered the room.
"No, no, no. Threatening." Stark was over by the bar where they had been earlier. "Hey, Ava. Want a drink?" Tony turned to Loki. "No drink, you sure? I'm having one."
The young woman watched carefully. Loki was nervous.
"The Chitauri are coming - nothing will change that. What have I to fear?"
"The Avengers." Stark pulled the topper from a crystal bottle, his attitude still blasé despite the situation. "Its what we call ourselves; its sort of like a team. Earth's Mightiest Heroes type thing." He glanced at Ava. "Which you should be part of."
The young woman didn't say anything. Loki glanced sideways at her before returning to Tony with a smugly sarcastic smile. "I've met of them."
Stark laughed airily. "Yeah – it takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here: your brother the demi-god;" Loki hissed at the mention of Thor but it did not stop the other man from continuing on with his list. " a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them."
Loki was pacing vaguely at this point. "That was the plan." His voice was obvious.
"Not a great plan." Tony came out with a drink in hand and what Ava noted to be a set of wrist cuffs. "When they come, and they will, they'll come for you."
"I have an army." The Asgardian stood up to Stark defiantly.
"We have a Hulk." Was the equally defiant reply.
"Oh." Loki said vaguely. "I thought the beast had wandered off."
Tony walked toward the other man slowly. "You're missing the point! There's no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it."
Loki stalked closer to Stark. "How will your friends have time for me when they're so busy fighting you?" He lifted his sceptre.
"Stop it, Loki." Ava stepped forward just in time for the point of the staff to make contact with Tony's chest. There was a dull metal clang.
The god of mischief frowned and drew the sceptre back to try again. The same nothingness occurred. Stark looked very, very relieved and amused all at the same time. He glanced at Ava with a bemused smile.
"Well performance issues are not uncommon; one out of five…" He nodded at the young woman. "That why things are a little tense between you two?"
Loki grabbed Tony by the throat and threw him across the room with ease. The human landed hard and spoke to 'Jarvis', someone Ava had no recollection of ever meeting. The Asgardian retook the man by his neck as he stood.
"You all fall before me." He hissed.
Ava frowned at Tony's response. He simply shouted "Deploy. Deploy." Before being thrown from a window. The young woman hurried to the broken glass to see if maybe he had landed on a ledge or somehow survived. But he hadn't. Her heart sank. She turned to Loki just in time for what she had thought to be an ornament against the far wall explode open and catapult out of the room.
Loki was furious. He turned to her. "What did he mean when he said you were one of them?"
Ava lifted a hand to hopefully stop him from taking out his frustration on her. "He didn't say that. He said I could have been. I have no interest in being an Avenger. I just want to take you home."
"Oh? Then why didn't you do anything? You could have supported my cause."
"Stop it, Loki! Just stop it!"
"Why? Why should I?"
"Because you're braver than this. You're better than this."
"Stop pretending I'm something I'm not."
"Only if you do too." She shot back.
At that moment Tony reappeared in his new suit. Ava felt relief flood through her.
"And there is one other person you pissed off." Stark said angrily. His voice suddenly calmed. "His name is Phil."
Loki raised his sceptre but Tony opened fire and hit the other man square in the chest, sending him sprawling backwards.
"Lets get you out of here." Stark spoke to Ava.
The young woman had taken a step toward Loki. The sound of the Tesseract powering up and opening fire stopped them all. The god of mischief smiled.
Tony looked up and mumbled something. He looked back at the girl and said "Hang tight, Blondie" before shooting off.
The buzzing sounds of the Chitauri craft shot through the building followed by images of the invaders shooting past the windows and flying into the city, opening fire and starting their destruction in full force.
Ava went to the couch where her weapons rested and fetched them deftly.
"You mean to fight them?" Loki had found his feet again. "You mean to fight me?"
"I don't know you." She replied frankly. "When the man who loves me comes around please deliver a message - tell him that I am incredibly disappointed in him."
"Disappointed?" Loki raised his eyebrows, his gaze on her and not on the attack he had been planning for. What he wanted, and what he needed – they were very different things indeed.
"Incredibly." Ava fitted her weapons to her body. "He has abused me and left me in a dark pit with no way out. He promised to find me, to help me find him, and he broke that promise – even when I have been keeping mine and continue to keep mine. Even when I continue to love him and all he has done is forsake me. You think you're the one who was betrayed? You know nothing of betrayal."
Loki was silent, his lips parted in preparation to say something. He looked as if she had slapped him again. He would have preferred that.
Ava walked right up to the man she searched his eyes and saw him there, clawing his way out perhaps. Maybe. She put both hands on the side of his face and kissed him gently before turning away and heading for the elevator down.
Fighting him was exhausting. Fighting his plans was worse. But it was all she could do to stop herself from falling to pieces.
A bit less movie and a bit more Ava/Loki this time. Let me know what you thought - your support and encouragement for this story has been phenomenal and I am so thankful for everyone who is reading and everyone who is reviewing. I apprecaite you all very much.
As always: Avengers lines belong to Marvel and the makers of the movie and not to me.
Blessings,
P.