To Whom It May Concern:
Regarding me… Mika Ver Leth:
I feel that I have been treated unfairly in the stories that you record, it seems you all see me in a very bad light! I have a bad enough image as it is without you making up fairy stories about me being evil and spreading rumours that I enjoy inflicting pain etc. So could you please stop this or I may have to find you and cut you, in several places, deeply, and make you watch as you slowly bleed to death!
Regarding slash stories:
Honestly, some of you slash writers are mere children; I feel you need help… either that or you need to be put into care! Your parents must be ashamed! Fancy writing these disgusting, filthy, vile sex stories! And at your age too! Gods, in my day you could be executed for even saying the word 'sex'! Unless you all want to end up as jezebel's and pimps I suggest you stop this outrageous behaviour immediately, take a cold shower, cleanse you dirty mind, and get your life sorted out!
Regarding future careers:
I don't mean to be hurtful, but I feel that not a single one of you 'writers' has the potential to make it as a ten magazine journalist, let alone an author! I'd quit while your ahead, an author isn't a proper job anyway, just sitting around all day writing! A proper job is when you work hard, sweat, break a few bones and are unable to stand up by the end of the day! That's proper work! I will no longer waste my time on the likes of you good for nothings!
Sincerely
Mika Ver Leth