Chapter 10

This wasn't Sugar Rush.

Maybe it had been, once. But not now.

As Ralph and the others entered the game from atop a captured Cy-bug, they stopped in shock at the game's transformation. Gone were the pastel colors and vibrant, whimsical graphics. The world had become a candy-coated wasteland of fog and brimstone. Where before there had been a beautiful castle, there was now a monstrous fortress of shale and concrete, surrounded by a moat of boiling lava.

"Things are worse than I thought in this place," said Calhoun.

"My land… what could've happened?" asked Felix.

Luigi was the first to piece everything together. "…He's-a here."

"Huh?" Everyone turned to face him.

"He was-a missing from his own game, and suddenly this place looks-a like the Koopa Kingdom… Don't-a you see? It's-a Bowser! He's taken over this-a game!" Luigi explained. Everyone gasped in realization.

"Bowser?" asked Ralph. "No, it can't be him… I know him! At least, I thought I knew him. Wonder what made him snap?..."

"Dunno about this Bowser joker, but if he's taken over, then she's in danger as long as she's here," said Calhoun, pointing at Peach.

"She's-a right, Peach," said Luigi. "We need to drop-a you off here."

Calhoun flew back to the portal to Game Central, and deposited Peach at the entrance to Sugar Rush.

"Please, don't do this," Peach protested. "You must take me with you."

"No ma'am!" said Felix. "The last thing we need is for that big creep to snatch you away too. You'll be much safer here. We'll be right back."

And with that, the Cy-bug and its passengers flew out of sight.

…

"There's no way he could have made it this far!" growled Ralph, as the four of them flew over a forest of lifeless candy trees.

"He's gotta be in here somewhere," said Felix.

Suddenly Luigi was pointing to the forest. "Look-a down there!"

Everyone peered down. Standing at the top of a tree, jumping and waving his arms sporadically, was a familiar mustachioed figure.

"Now we got him," said Calhoun, and steered her Cy-bug towards the treetops.

Mario didn't seem particularly grateful when his saviors arrived. "What took ya so long?" he asked grouchily as he leapt aboard with a thud. "And what's this bug-thing?"

"Long story," said Ralph. "Hey, how'd you get so good at steering this thing anyway, Tammy?"

"Well, I've had plenty of practice with it with what I like to call a jump kill," Calhoun explained. "You jump on the bugs, ride to wherever, and then take 'em out. You got to kill these things, you might as well get your money's worth out of 'em."

"That's the Tammy I married!" said Felix. "So, what happened here, Mario? We've been hoofing it all over creation to find you!"

"Eh… you know, the usual stuff," said Mario, in an oddly gruff tone. "I was just doin' my usual thing, jumping and eating pasta. Good times, good times, right? And then this place suddenly looks like Hades' gate. No idea why."

"Jiminy Jaminy, Mario. You sound like you're coming down with something!"

"I know, right?" asked Mario. "All this fog and whatnot. 'S terrible."

"Looks like you put on some pounds, too," pointed out Ralph.

"Yeah, and what happened to your accent, Mario?"

"Er…" began Mario, as the others stared him down.

Luigi had put two and two together again. "Wait a second…" Without warning, he leaned over and, in a single stroke, ripped his brother's mustache clean off. Mario clutched his lips where the fake facial hair had been, and howled in pain.

"I knew it!" he shrieked. "That's-a not Mario!"

Calhoun wheeled around with her blaster pointed squarely at the imposter. "Alright, you little Italian scuzbag, what have you done with the real Mario?!"

"Italian?" the fake Mario chuckled. "Please. This is all the Italian I'll ever need to know: Arrivederci, suckers!" With that, he leapt high in the air, and slammed onto the Cy-bug's back with tremendous force. The impact sent Ralph, Felix, Calhoun, and Luigi flying. Riding high aboard the Cy-bug, the faker watched as his opponents crash-landed in the taffy swamp below him.

"Heh… I'm surprised they actually bought it," laughed Boom Boom, as he removed his plumber's costume. "I shoulda been an actor instead one of stinkin' King Bowser's henchmen… Well, I lost the others, but he'll want to have a look at this bug-thing anyway. Guess I better bring it back to 'im." Boom Boom steered the Cy-bug in the direction of Bowser's new castle.

But Calhoun wasn't going to let him escape that easily. From atop a candy tree, she fired her grappling hook at the Cy-bug's belly. The bug came to a sudden halt, sending Boom Boom flying right off. "EEEYAAAH!"

The foursome watched as he landed headfirst into a pool of hot, molten chocolate.

"Coward," murmured Calhoun, as she wrangled the Cy-bug back to her with her grappling hook. She turned to the others. "Pull yourselves together, people. We gotta keep moving."

…

"And you came back on such short notice, to inform me WHAT, exactly?!" Bowser roared at his henchman.

Boom Boom, now covered in angry red welts, spoke up. "Sir, I found them… it was Luigi, sir! Luigi and three other guys! I tried to get 'em to buy it, but then they found me out, and… well, what could I do, sir? It was just one of me against four of them!"

"You've failed me again… I warned you not to disappoint me this time, didn't I?" asked Bowser. "Well, it's rather convenient for me, then, that this place has a dungeon… and luckily for you, I hear it's a rather fun one."

Boom Boom gulped.

Bowser snapped his fingers, summoning Kamek to his side. "Kamek, take this useless waste of space down to the dungeon, and come straight back here when you're done," he instructed. "I've got a job for you to do…"