All warnings on part one.

Duo had paced the room probably a hundred times before he took to shifting uncomfortably in the love seat. While he really appreciated what the CIA did, putting them up in this hotel room so Heero could recover with him instead of in the hospital, he couldn't help feeling trapped. They were relocating all of his things with Hilde's help right at that moment. Thank God for Hilde, trashing all his drugs before the CIA started packing up his belongings and moving his entire life to some "safe and secure location."

Chang had eventually told him that this whole thing was in relation to his last assignment and some gang boss Heero took down. That Heero would be off any assignments until after the trial. If they could find him in a city half a world away where he had absolutely no connections, then they could probably find him anywhere.

And while that was all good, for the most part, Duo didn't really want to be relocated. And despite his deep feelings for Heero, he didn't really know if he wanted to be with him long term. They'd had a nice week together, and a couple months of friendship before that, but now his whole life was going to have to change for the guy. And all he wanted to do was get high as fuck to deal with the stress of the whole damned situation.

Which made him wonder – what, was he just going to go to rehab and start living the quaint life of a house husband? It wasn't like he hadn't tried to get clean before. Things could be great and it would be easy to stay away from heroin, but as soon as things got difficult – which inevitably they did for him – the cravings overwhelmed him and he found himself doing damned near well anything to get a fix. When he thought back to all the other times he'd tried to get clean, he realized how hopeless the whole thing was and that only made his current cravings worse.

Luckily he was relieved of his spiraling thoughts by Heero stirring on the bed. He'd only woken up a few times and for only a half hour or so at a time so they really hadn't gotten much time to talk. Especially since they were just moved to this room only a few hours ago.

Heero's eyes fluttered open and he was immediately greeted with Duo's concerned face hovering over him, his hands wrapped around one of his own. He recognized they weren't in a hospital any longer... and then the memory of being moved to a hotel resurfaced and he began to relax.

"How ya feeling?" Duo asked softly, squeezing his hand and leaning over to brush a kiss on his forehead.

"I am so sorry you got dragged into this," Heero said instead, not really feeling like discussing himself when he had so wrecked Duo's life. He was only supposed to be a temporary fling. Despite how deeply he felt for him, he knew it couldn't be permanent, knew he'd have to return to work before he could properly establish a long term relationship with the other man.

Duo shrugged, feeling selfishly glad that Heero realized what an inconvenience this was to him. "Kinda the story of my life," he admitted. It wasn't the first time he'd had to pack up and move under the cover of darkness. He'd managed to escape an abusive ex all on his own, without the CIA helping him. He'd make it through this.

"Shouldn't have to be," Heero replied, irritated. He felt sore. Useless. Sorry. Guilty. A lot of things he didn't like to feel. There was no way he could repay Duo for this. No way. If he hadn't thought to call Chang... "Hey. What made you call Chang in the first place?"

Duo wanted to evade the question he knew was coming sooner or later. He stood, crossing the room to pick up the room service menu before heading back over to place it in Heero's lap. "Pick something. I'll call it up in a minute."

Heero stared at Duo, unable to believe he would so blatantly ignore the question. Was he going to have to perform an interrogation? "Okay. But what made you do it?"

Duo sighed and stalked back across the room, crossing his arms over his chest and staring out the window. "I thought you fucking left me, okay?" His words were angrier than he'd intended but with everything he'd been through those past few days and the burning desire for a hit he couldn't keep it out of his voice. "I thought you fucking just walked out and left me. And poor, pathetic Duo, couldn't help himself, had to see you again, had to get high 'cause I can't deal with shit."

"Oh." Heero stared at the menu in his hands, unable to make out any of the words although he wasn't really trying. He knew what Duo meant. He knew the implications. He knew Duo painted him, locked up in that basement. He couldn't refute Duo's ability now. But he also couldn't really believe it. He didn't know what to say. Or what to think. He felt like his destiny was not his own, that there was no way they could've avoided this whole fucked up situation. And that pissed him off.

"I can't do this." Even to Duo himself, he sounded distant and far away. Small. Scared. "I can't fucking be with you, and get clean, and become some perfect thing, some upstanding citizen," he rushed out in one breath, amazed he managed to keep his voice from wavering. Duo noted out of the corner of his eye that Heero was trying to stand and despite wanting to be on the other side of the world from that man at that moment, he couldn't help but turn around and rush to him, pushing him back down into the bed gently.

Heero took that opportunity to grab his t-shirt and pull him down into a gentle, lingering kiss. He was pleased that Duo melted against his lips, sitting down on the bed next to him, cradling his head in his hands and kissing him back tenderly.

"I know you didn't plan on making me into some kind of forever," Heero stated bluntly when they finally pulled away. "I'm pretty fucked up in my own right and I wasn't looking for something long term anyway. But maybe we can still just enjoy each other while I'm stuck here...?" The hopeful note on the end of his question disgusted him a bit, but there was nothing he could do about it after the fact.

"Yeah, that'd be okay," Duo replied with a little smile before leaning in to kiss those warm lips again. He really was a handsome man. And a wonderful kisser. And they had a certain understanding between them that couldn't be understated.

"Did you ever destroy those paintings?" Heero asked as he drew away, concern evident in his tone. The idea of a bunch of CIA agents pawing through a ton of paintings of him in Japan and all number of other places while they relocated Duo's things was a bit more than he wanted to think about in terms of damage control.

"Yeah, I whitewashed most of them after I met you," Duo confessed, feeling a twinge of regret in his stomach. He hadn't really wanted to do it. Eight years of paintings he'd stared at for so long – gone. But he knew he couldn't keep them around and compromise Heero. "The few I kept are close-ups, no location details.

Heero allowed himself to breath a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

"No problem." Duo tried to be nonchalant, but he stared at his hands in his lap and his pot-marked arms, showing some wear and tear, and he felt anything but. "Don't need any more reminders of a bunch of bad drug trips anyway..."

Heero stroked his bangs for a minute, studying his face carefully. "Do you ever think about getting clean?" He noted the pained expression that crossed Duo's face and he wasn't sure if it was because he was embarrassed or because he was craving it at that very moment.

"It's hard to feel the way I feel right now," he admitted. "Don't know what I'm gonna do in that ivory tower."

"It's not like that," Heero replied. "They'll leave you alone, mostly, if you follow their rules." He paused, unsure, not wanting to press the other man into anything he didn't want. "But if you wanted to, they would help you, if I asked."

For a brief moment Duo felt a flutter of hope and he looked at Heero with wide, surprised eyes. But then it clamped down on him and he shook his head. "That'll be the day." He rolled his eyes, unable to look at Heero again, afraid of disappointing him. "It's not that easy."

"I'm not your keeper," Heero told him sincerely, reaching for one of his hands and holding it kindly. "You have to do what you want to do. I've seen a lot of druggies, and you handle it better than most. But if you want to, there are steps we can take. That's all. Just wanted you to know."

"We?" Duo asked hesitantly, daring to meet his eyes from underneath his bangs, genuinely confused. It wasn't a pronoun anyone typically associated with him. It clearly took Heero a minute to figure out what he was asking.

"We," he finally replied firmly. "Maybe I won't ever be your husband, or even a long-term lover, but don't think I don't know what you've done for me. Everything you've done for me. Part of me will always be with you. Whether I want it or not." Heero chuckled shortly, thinking of the paintings, the way they were tied together against their wills. "But I'll always be here for you. No one was ever there for me – until you. And I want to be there for you, too."

And then Duo was kissing him, hard, trying to be gentle with his sore and recovering lips but unable to restrain himself in his sudden burst of emotion. It had never seemed like anyone really wanted him before, wanted to be there for him. Maybe they wanted the sex, or to have a pretty thing on their arm, but not him. Not genuinely. Not in such an unselfish way. It seemed so easy to disregard his fears now that Heero was awake, talking to him, saying such sweet things... Making him feel safe again.

Heero fought to catch his breath against Duo's passion and he couldn't help but wish that they were in this hotel for other reasons, that he wasn't just recovering from a harrowing, painful near miss with death. "You're impossible," he muttered teasingly. "There's no way I'm going to be able to withstand this bed rest."

"Beds aren't for resting," Duo grinned helplessly.

"Not when you're around," Heero agreed, leaning in to kiss him again.

Duo drew away with a coy smile. "But seriously," he said, "before I can't help myself, pick something to eat. I've never had room service before and the CIA is footin'."

Heero allowed himself a little smirk at his friend. His friend. The first real friend he ever had.

He didn't know what the next few months would hold. Even if their relationship fell apart and didn't work, they had been friends. Duo had taught him how to love. And it was a lesson that would never leave him.

His smile widened unrepentantly as he stared at the other man who blushed a little and grabbed the menu out of his hand, waving it in his face.

"Okay, okay!" he agreed, leaning over to grab it and place a kiss on his cheek.

No. He could never forget this.

Whew. Just wanted to say... if I had this to do over again, I might not have even posted this fic at all. There are things I really don't like about it, namely how rushed it is, and there's lots of details I left out, but this was the first longish fic back in the fandom for me so it was a bit of an experiment. Plus I started it for the wrong reasons. When I stumbled upon the beginning of this fic in my folder from ten years ago, there was no drug use. I added that in there as a way to explore some of my own feelings regarding my little brother's unexpected admission to rehab for heroin addiction. I think in the end I made this all too hopeful. I tried to be realistic, but it's difficult when you want a happy ending in real life too. (Not that my brother is doing poorly, quite the contrary, he's actually so much better recently! But the long term outlook for someone in rehab for heroin is apparently pretty poor. It's a lifetime thing, ya know.)

Anyway, that's not to make you feel badly for me or anything! ;-P I just felt the need to explain since I hope to write many, many more fics and I feel this one isn't quite the best example of my writing. I hope you enjoyed it anyway! =P