"I wonder if you look both ways when you cross my mind..."
- "See You Again" by Tyler the Creator
Part Ten: If It Was A Date, You'd Know
Darcy pressed her cheek into Steve's pillow, hands gripping the cover as she twisted. She was fighting off the leftover of a dream, something vivid that caused a nagging ache between her legs.
Her eyes opened and she glanced around, feeling the expected headache from her drinking and she sighed. She doesn't remember but she doesn't have to think about it too much to know what it was about, with how sweaty she was despite the chill of Steve's apartment.
She wiped her mouth, her eyes slits as she reached for her phone on his nightstand. She didn't get a proper look of his room when she stumbled in drunkenly last night but she can see that there's little personal about it. Perhaps there are things she could find in his cupboards or the drawers. The bedside table has a drawer, and Darcy's hand went to open it, too curious for her own good.
There are a couple pennies, a bottle cap and a worn tube of KY jelly that made Darcy's eyebrows hike, but no condoms or condom wrappers.
When I bring girls here I don't tend to do a lot of sleeping.
Steve said that last night with his dark eyes searching hers. They were both really drunk and Darcy winced, hoping he meant what he said about the aspirin. She'd revealed way too much last night and now she had to figure out how to leave Brooklyn while still saving face. She hoped he was out.
She redressed in her clothes from yesterday and cleared her throat, brushing her hair without a mirror, not daring to open any other private place even if there was a mirror in a closet. She even pulled her shoes back on and then went to the door, turning the knob as quietly as possible.
She peeked around, hearing soft breathing coming from the couch. He was still asleep. She held her breath, opening the door wider to creep past, making her way to the kitchen area. She glanced over at the couch and saw he was sleeping on his back with a blanket wrapped around him. The couch was too small for his frame, his feet dangling well over the edge while he stirred.
Shit. Darcy looked around the cupboards trying to find a glass. Did he have a medicine cabinet in the bathroom? Did she need to go back for that or could she just grab her bag and run?
She looked around, frantic, until her phone began to vibrate in her pocket and she jolted with fright. She fumbled, pulling her phone out to see Carol was calling her. She vaguely remembered texting her friend last night during the movie.
"Hey," Darcy answered, her voice hushed.
"Hey! Is he okay? I texted him before."
Darcy hadn't checked the time until she pulled her phone away from her ear while Carol's speech was rapid fire and breathless. It was past 9AM.
"He's fine. He's sleeping."
Carol made an odd sound on the other end, surprised. "What? You're still there?"
"Yeah, I was about to leave."
She turned around and saw that Steve had awakened, rubbing his eyes with his hair sticking up in places. Darcy's eyes dipped to his t-shirt that fit tight against his solid muscle.
"He's up," she managed to say, and then she took her phone away from her ear and walked back toward the couch, handing Steve the phone.
He started talking to Carol in a low voice as Darcy circled back to the kitchen, investigating. She found the mugs and put on a pot of coffee. She went and used the bathroom, searching the cabinets and finding the motherlode.
Any kind of pain pill she could have wanted was there, and she stared with wide eyes wondering if Steve had some kind of problem. She squinted, seeing that the names were all his and a lot of them were probably expired, hardly used.
Stubborn and not prone to taking prescribed medicines. Darcy pursed her lips, taking the aspirin bottle and walking back out. Steve still spoke with Carol.
Darcy stood over him with a glass of water and two pills, and he took them with an odd expression on his face.
"I was on the couch," he was saying, and Darcy blinked at him.
She motioned for him to take the pills and he did, her phone resting between his shoulder and ear while he used both hands.
"You know what? I can't say," he said, looking right at Darcy.
"What?"
Steve didn't elaborate for Darcy, just kept talking to Carol while Darcy looked at the ceiling. He said something about Miranda and she looked back down.
"She's probably go after my reputation now just so I'm punished for trying to keep her moral compass intact." Carol said something and he made a face. "Fine."
He pulled the phone from his ear and pressed speaker, and Darcy was forced to push aside her memory of Chicago when she put Steve on speakerphone.
"So what are you two kids going to get up to?" Carol asked, and Darcy decided she didn't like her tone. Steve must have said something for their friend to be egging them on.
"I'm going to my hotel to sleep until next year."
Granted, it was mid-December so it wasn't that long of a time, but it would suffice. Darcy crossed her arms while she said it.
"That doesn't seem like your style, Darce. You being tired from rage," Carol replied, and Darcy sighed.
Darcy's eyes met Steve's. "I'm furious but I don't know what to do with it."
"We'll go get breakfast," Steve said, giving a shrug.
"Ohh!" came Carol's voice between them and Steve rolled his eyes.
"Not like a date, Carol. Cool it," he warned.
Darcy wanted to push away every idea like that so she harrumphed and snapped:
"If it was a date, you'd know, he'd know and all of fucking Brooklyn would know."
Carol didn't seem too troubled by Darcy's testiness. She only laughed while Steve screwed up his face.
"Okay, way too loud for this stage of my hangover," he mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.
They said their goodbyes and Steve handed Darcy back her phone and she shoved it in her jeans pocket again, turning her heel and stalking back to the kitchen for coffee.
"I meant it," Steve called. "Breakfast. That usually helps."
Darcy was pouring two cups of coffee as he said it and she felt the urge to tense, to make some rude remark to hurt his feelings. It was too easy now, and she knew if he tried to do the same a barb would sting too much.
She turned back with their coffee, walking over.
"Breakfast usually helps with a political scandal?" she said dryly, handing him his coffee before sipping her own.
"I'm trying. Let me try," he said, and Darcy wondered what he meant.
Trying to make her feel better or trying to make it easier for them to move on from last night? Maybe he meant for them to move on from whatever this was between them – the sexual games Darcy had so far won every time. She considered everything he'd done by comparison harmless.
She wanted to go back to wanting him and feeling a distinct wall between them. She felt worse off now.
She looked away. "Sure. But I'll pick the place."
He didn't argue, just nodded before exiting to the bathroom and showering while Darcy waited for him, foot jiggling.
"The garlic bread is ten dollars," Steve said, reading off the menu he held while Darcy looked at her own copy, her lips pursing automatically.
They sat in a plush red booth, sunglasses on their table with their water glasses filled. Darcy looked up from her menu.
"You're ruining it for me," she said, careful not to use any name to address him with.
If she didn't give him his name maybe their meal would go by easier. She'd go to the hotel after this and never speak to him again. She knew it would be better if she didn't see him, either. She was bound to run into him eventually with the non-profit stuff but she hoped she could just work behind the scenes for a while and not go to events if Jane hadn't decided to estrange her by the end of the weekend.
"It's ten dollars," he repeated. He read on. "And what's orangeade?"
"It's sparkling orange juice," Darcy said, trying her best to look disgusted by his ignorance rather than amused. "You live in Brooklyn, how can you not have tried orangeade?"
"I go to the same diner all the time. And I'm not a huge fan of gentrification."
"Ohh, careful now. You're starting to sound like those baby-boomer Republicans talking about the good old days," she teased, wagging a finger while her eyes perused the menu once more.
"What, gentrification doesn't hike up the rent and cause small businesses to suffer?" Steve said, looking grumpy. "What's wrong with keeping my neighborhood the same when it's fine how it is?"
Darcy shrugged a shoulder. "The world's changing."
"I bet," he muttered. He narrowed his eyes at the menu. "I guess I'll have to try the orangeade."
Darcy covered her snort and Steve looked at her differently, the kind of fascination he first projected when she barged into his office the day he tried to poach her.
"How come you're not a lawyer?" he asked, and Darcy made a face.
"What? Next question, please," she muttered, shoving the menu aside with Canadian pancakes on her mind.
"No, really. Why aren't you at that place in Manhattan winning cases?"
"You wanna become a lawyer suddenly?" she returned, quirking one elbow.
He put aside his own menu. "I know you like to pretend like you're lacking in human decency –"
Darcy's eyes bulged and he only seemed emboldened by her reaction.
"-and general feelings but you must care about something besides winning."
"Hardly," Darcy answered crisply, not liking how close to the bone he cut. "What's the point if I can't win?"
"You learn from mistakes?" Steve ventured, amused.
"Finally, I know how to pronounce that word. Mistake. Two syllables," she replied, and Steve chuckled.
They lapsed into silence and their waiter came over, a girl with pink hair and arms covered in tattoos. She didn't seem to recognize Darcy but she kept smiling at Steve with the kind of enthusiasm she could only pick as attraction.
"Uh-oh," Darcy muttered under her breath when the girl walked off with their orders.
Steve looked at her. "What?"
"Nothing."
She busied herself with her phone, scrolling through the news articles. Pepper's old high school teachers were coming forward seeing her praises. It made Darcy sigh and put her phone face down.
"You still didn't answer my question before," Steve said, and Darcy looked up at him. He didn't seem teasing, and she could be wrong but Darcy felt as though he was trying to distract her.
Breakfast helps. She didn't scowl at him for once.
"I don't like working with lawyers. I didn't like how it made me feel." She touched her fiddled with her fork, feeling his eyes watching her. "Turned out I don't like everything that I'm good at."
Steve nodded, a knowing look while he listened.
"You the same?" Darcy asked, and he nodded again, quiet.
He might tell her now. He might not. Darcy wanted to know what made him stop being Captain Rogers. She wanted to know if it made him closer to Carol. She recognized that she envied that closeness, even if it made her feel weaker to admit it to herself.
Darcy's phone hummed and she flipped it over, seeing Tony's number pop up. She unlocked it, turning her head away for privacy. She'd rather not go outside in the cold to answer it.
"What are you doing?"
He didn't say hello, but he wasn't one for doing that at the best of times. Now he sounded as though he was talking to Morgan, or at least someone his child's age.
"Gonna eat breakfast when it comes to my table."
"It's more the with that concerns me, not the what," Tony added, and Darcy could make out a yell in the background.
Morgan. He was in Malibu, nowhere near any of the scheduled stops for that Saturday. Darcy was thrown for a moment, recalling herself defending the toddler, practically foaming at the mouth in Gunn's face just yesterday. She came crashing back to Earth and she swallowed hard, ignoring Steve's eyes that were trying to read her face.
"What the hell are you doing with him?" Tony added, and Darcy shot up from her chair without warning, cutlery clattering.
"You having me tailed?" she asked, her voice thin. She looked out the window and saw only people walking by and people riding their bikes through the streets.
"Of course I had you tailed because I thought you might do something stupid like this, which you did!"
Darcy didn't appreciate being called stupid.
"What do you think I've done that's stupid? I didn't sleep with him."
She didn't dare look at Steve, she just kept her eyes on the people outside. Her eyes settled on a black car in the distance and she narrowed her eyes.
"Tell whoever it is to leave me alone because I'm having breakfast and that's it."
Tony sighed. "You can tell me if something happened."
"Oh, my God," she snapped, irritated by his patronizing tone. "I stayed over. He was the one who tried to stop Gunn from using the leak against us."
Their waiter came over with their plates and Darcy bristled. She might have hissed at her if Steve wasn't there. He smiled at her while Darcy turned back toward the view of the street, watching as the black car peeled off.
"Are they gone now? Can I eat my goddamn pancakes in peace, Tone?" she snapped, hearing Morgan for the second time. She was yelling nonsense and Darcy felt a pang of longing, wishing she was there.
When Tony didn't answer her she hung up, huffing. She felt something on her hip and saw Steve brushed at her side with his fingers as he reached across and she moved away from him instantly.
"Darcy, sit down," he said softly, and she glanced at her plate full of food and sat down, eating in silence.
At the end of their meal they argued about who'd pay. Darcy wanted to split it but Steve said he wanted it to be a treat. She didn't want to owe him anything.
"This isn't about me thinking you're being sexist, I just want to pay my share because it's fair," she snapped, slamming notes on the table.
Steve just gave her a long stare and carefully put down his own notes to cover the rest. He didn't seem defeated, if anything he seemed to be gearing up for another round as they stepped outside to walk back to his apartment.
"Is it really so horrible for me to be nice to you?" he snapped, and Darcy glared back at him, chin jutting.
"I have to make you feel good, huh?" she snapped. "First Tony about Pepper and then you about Pepper and then you about me. Two men I've had to make feel better. That's two too many for me."
She waved her hands around. "I'm done. I'm done."
"You're done?" he retorted, glaring at her like she'd just insulted his dead mother. "I'm unemployed."
"So am I, too, most likely!" she yelled.
They almost barreled over a hipster on his Blade scooter in the middle of the pavement as they kept walking and bickering. He moved only just in time.
Steve closed his eyes, exasperated. "All I wanted was you on my team. Boy, am I stupid."
'Boy, am I stupid' caused Darcy to burst out laughing, her mouth crooked and cruel. "Yeah. But I would have thought Gunn being your number one for over a year was enough of an indication that you've only got half a brain."
Steve just shook his head, disgusted.
"She wants everything every other candidate wants except she's a woman. That's it. That's the only thing that makes her different," she continued. "She's a convincing sociopath and that's it."
She was sure if she said 'that's it' again he might strangle her.
"What about Stark? A billionaire instead of a millionaire and the only thing that separates him from the rest of the party is what?" Steve gave his own wave.
"Is that a genuine question, or -?" Darcy smirked.
Their voices echoed through the foyer of Steve's apartment building as he let them in.
"I still don't know if it's just you or something he did to convince you that he was the best candidate."
He gave a shrug and Darcy rolled her eyes.
She waited until they reached Steve's apartment and he let them inside, Darcy first.
"He discovered a new element when digging through Howard Stark's archives. A message was hidden in a film for Tony to find when technology was more advanced."
Steve stopped still and stared at her, the door slamming shut.
"What does this have to do with –?"
"His clean energy plan is this element. It's more powerful than his original arc reactor. It will outdo any other type of fuel," Darcy said, each word precise. "And even if he didn't have that working for him he's still a better man than Ainsworth and a better person than Miranda Gunn could ever be."
Steve let out a chuckle as if he'd realized something.
"This was your rabbit out of a hat," he said. He shook his head at her.
"I prefer smoking gun, it sounds better," Darcy said, and Steve scratched the back of his head.
He frowned. "Why didn't he come forward with this already? What's his excuse when people are already suffering from the effects of climate change?"
He made a fair point. Darcy gave a shrug. "Maybe he just really wanted to be President and I really want to win."
Steve shook his head. "No. I'm gonna hold you to this 'cause it's a pretty direct question."
Darcy looked away. "He didn't know if he could pull it off alone. And maybe having a government behind him and a thorough plan will be enough."
"He always sounded like Howard Hughes and I never liked that about him," Steve retorted.
Darcy glanced at him, and Steve crossed his arms defensively.
"I think that's inspiring and you're just jealous."
"Because I grew up poor?" Steve snapped, and Darcy shrugged.
"Maybe. And maybe you wish he'd be more serious about becoming President."
Steve's jaw ticked. "He used to be an arm's dealer."
"People change. Didn't you, once?" Darcy said, and Steve had to pause.
She walked over to his bedroom, picking up her things to pack them away, readying herself to go.
"Where are you going?"
"You know there's a thing called a hotel, right? I booked one for two nights and I want –"
"You're just gonna leave me with a secret like that and then – leave?" Steve said, following her around the apartment as she got a glass and filled it with water from the faucet.
"You won't tell me about why you're not in the Army anymore," Darcy said.
She put down the glass, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
"You didn't ask," Steve said, and she quirked an eyebrow.
She stared him down and he sighed, passing a hand over his face.
"I was good at my job. I… stopped because I didn't want to kill people anymore. And then a lot of people turned their back on me."
She looked at the way his jaw tensed while admitting that.
"So you're trying to make a difference elsewhere."
"Yes," he said, with a nod. "And you're pretending you're not the same as me."
In the hours that they spent together that morning, Darcy acknowledged that she no longer hated Steve Rogers. She didn't mind his self-righteousness or his ridiculously good looks. There was something about him that made her want to fight but she did care about him. He must have got under her skin.
She put down her bag, saying she needed the bathroom. When she returned, Steve was holding his phone with a shocked expression on his face. It could only be more bad news.
He looked up at Darcy and their eyes met.
"Ainsworth just had a massive heart attack. He died."
"What?" she breathed. "When? What happened?"
Steve glanced at his phone again, reading. "He was at a rally in Tampa and collapsed. His wife was there."
Darcy didn't expect to care, but she felt her chest tighten at the thought of his wife seeing that happen.
"I have to call Tony," she whispered, taking her phone from her bag and dialing his number.
It took him precisely two rings to pick up.
"I don't want to die doing this," he said, and Darcy bit her lip.
"That won't happen, you're a healthy guy."
Steve was watching her and she frowned.
"You need to come back."
"You banished me," she said, because she couldn't help herself. "I'm still at Steve's."
"Bring your boyfriend."
She made a face, and then a thought surfaced.
"Wait. I should."
There was a rustle on Tony's end. "I was joking, Short Stack."
"Really? Because I ate pancakes and I'm average-sized -?"
"You are not average-sized, Short Stack," Tony said, and she could hear the echo of his footsteps inside the Malibu basement. "You are short."
"So are you," Darcy said. She waved a hand, feeling Steve's stare. "I'm off-track. I'll bring him. It's perfect. He hates you."
"You hate him."
Darcy looked at Steve. "He's grown on me, like a …rash."
"Really?" Steve said, though he didn't really seem too offended.
"I'm okay," she continued, "I just needed breakfast and I'm back to being a pain in the ass."
Tony chuckled. "What the hell has he done to you?"
When she hung up she told Steve he was coming with her and his eyes widened.
"No. No way."
"Why not?" she asked. "You've got a lot of free time on your hands."
"I could go back to my non-profit," he said, and Darcy shook her head.
"I heard you stepped down because of other work commitments," she said, and Steve narrowed his eyes at her.
"Darcy. I will not work for Tony Stark."
"That's fine. You can work for me," she said, flashing him a smile as she crossed her arms like he'd done.
"Oh, you're loving this," he said, looking at the ceiling. "You broke me down just like you planned."
He locked eyes with her, his stare bright and teasing.
"It's your kink."
Darcy rolled her eyes elaborately. "Oh, please. We both know that since you spoke to those Harvard guys you already knew exactly what I'm into."
She didn't look away from him, watching a blush grow on his cheeks as his eyes dipped. He could only shake his head at her before he went to the bedroom to pack a bag.
"Have you lost your mind?" Pepper yelled, and Darcy closed her eyes briefly against the impact of her voice.
She'd been in Malibu nine minutes while Steve still sat in their Uber down the driveway just outside the gates.
Darcy was standing with her hands resting on her hips with the waterfall behind her, and she just revealed that Steve was outside waiting to come in.
"I'm surprised this is the first time you've said that, actually."
"This isn't funny," Pepper snapped. "I'm serious about you having another severe lapse of judgement."
Darcy put up her hands. "That's fair. But these are special circumstances."
"You can't use Ainsworth dying as an excuse to bring one of – that woman's staff to my house."
Darcy nodded. "Pepper –"
"Don't. I'm sick of you doing and then thinking," the redhead added with a finger raised for good measure. "I have to just carry on like – ah!"
Steve had appeared around the corner and Pepper yelped, covering her mouth.
Darcy shot Steve an exasperated look. "I told you to stay in the car."
"I already paid the guy. I felt bad," Steve said quietly, his hands at his sides.
Pepper took a second to compose herself and then forced a smile.
"Hello, Steven."
"Hello, Ms. Potts," he said, and Darcy could see he was trying his hardest to make a good impression. And then he sold her out.
"It was her idea. And she left the front door open."
"Oh, thanks," Darcy said, narrowing her eyes at him. "At least you were quick in your betrayal."
"Obviously it was Darcy's idea," came Tony's voice, and he appeared at the top of the stairs holding hands with Morgan. "But I'm not encouraging it."
"We've got another edge now," Darcy said, gesturing at Steve's general space.
"We're nothing but edges," Pepper muttered. "And now we have to pretend like the candidate who just died isn't the most popular one."
She looked tired. Darcy couldn't imagine her sleeping. She and Steve didn't talk much on the way over, and Darcy's stomach was in knots when the Uber rolled up at the property.
"I fucked up," she said, and she felt everyone's eyes on her once more. She looked at Morgan. "Sorry, Monkey. Said the wrong word. Sorry, Pepper. Also sorry for saying that word on television, too."
Pepper sighed, and Steve cleared his throat.
"I should have called a bomb threat in or something. I should have stopped the reporter."
"It would have got out anyway," Pepper murmured. She glanced at him, giving a small smile. "You ran a really good campaign. What she did wasn't fair to you."
Tony came closer, taking Pepper's hand. "We have to get back to it eventually."
"You don't have to go on TV or anything," Steve said immediately. "You just have to move back into public appearances eventually."
Steve gave Darcy a look before resting his eyes on Tony.
"I can't work for you, though. I'm sorry."
Tony made a face, a mixture of amusement and confusion. "You came all this way just to tell me you weren't interested?"
Steve pointed at Darcy. "She made me come with her."
"Women don't make you do anything," Tony retorted.
"Yes, they do," Pepper and Darcy said in unison.
They all chuckled, but Steve shook his head.
"I'm sorry, but it can't. Maybe next year I can help host some events but – I'm done. I think I've been done for a while and I just didn't accept it."
Steve looked at Darcy again, nodding. "You were right."
"About what?"
Steve shrugged. "Everything."
Darcy didn't know what he could possibly mean by that. She was right that he hated himself? She was right that Tony would win and Steve simply didn't want anything to do with it?
"You'll have to be more specific," Darcy muttered, and Tony let out a short laugh.
Steve nodded, hands on hips. "About me whining about the good old days."
Darcy made a face. "I called you a Republican. You're so liberal if you were any more left-leaning you'd fall into the ocean, Steve."
Tony and Pepper laughed together then, and Steve even smirked.
"Alright. Apart from that, you were right."
Darcy shook her head. "Why come all this way, like Tony said?"
"I thought I would make my point better known this way."
Darcy crossed her arms. "No."
"What," Steve said, more a statement than a question.
"No, I won't let you go. I need you."
Tony and Pepper exchanged a glance and Steve's face changed to something overwhelmed. Before he could say anything, Darcy rose a hand.
"I need you because we argue. Because you disagree with me."
Tony cleared his throat. "Why not just give him a trial run to see what he can do?"
Darcy nodded at Tony and then turned her head to Steve.
"Well?"