Sorry it took a while to update. It's actually my birthday today, so I didn't have a lot of time to write. I'd really appreciate it if you could leave me a review as a birthday present!
PART 10
Buffy woke up slightly dazed as the sunlight started to creep in through a crack in the shut blinds. She tried to shield her face from it, but when she turned she realized she'd moved in her sleep until her head was on Angel's chest. Letting out a soft sigh, she rubbed her cheek against his t-shirt wishing he hadn't worn one last night. He felt so good…
Angel stirred as he felt her movements and his arms tightened around her instinctively holding her in place. He was still half asleep and he buried his face in Buffy's hair. God, she smelled so good…
"Angel?" she murmured against his chest although her eyes didn't open when she spoke.
"Hmm?" he replied sleepily as his fingers caressed her back lightly.
"Do you want to get up? Go to the hospital?" she offered but he shook his head.
"Not yet," he whispered turning them both away from the sun as they drifted back off to sleep.
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Fred and Wesley had checked on Victoria around nine, but she still hadn't woken up. It was around eleven that morning when Buffy and Angel were on their way to the hospital. They spent a few minutes with Angel's mom, but Angel knew Buffy was uncomfortable being in the hospital. She was doing her best to hide it from him, but he saw her flinch every time a machine beeped irregularly and wince when she'd hear the doctors working loudly in another room.
"Let's get some lunch," Angel suggested and Buffy nodded as she left the room and walked towards the cafeteria. "No," he stopped her and she looked at him curiously. "Let's go out somewhere."
"Are you sure?" she asked and he gave her a small smile as he reached for her hand. "Don't you want to be here when your mom wakes up?" she double checked but he shrugged.
"I don't know if seeing me should be the first thing she does upon regaining consciousness anyways," he replied and Buffy looked up at him sympathetically. "Maybe Fred and Wes can give her some warning."
"I think she'll be happy to see you," Buffy said confidently and he smiled at her positivity as they walked outside. Her mood seemed to improve immediately upon getting out of the hospital and Angel knew he'd make the right call on taking her out to lunch.
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Victoria hadn't woken up yet, but the doctors assured them that was normal. It had been about 24 hours since she'd gotten out of surgery, and everyone reacted differently to the anesthesia. Fred, Wesley, Angel, and Buffy all took turns sitting with her, although Angel was clearly uncomfortable. He still wasn't sure he wanted to be the one there when she did wake up.
Around ten that night Angel and Buffy decided to go back to the hotel. It didn't look like Victoria would be waking up, and until her doctor got back the next morning they wouldn't hear anything different. Buffy could see all the time spent at the hospital was starting to get to Angel, and with her dislike of hospitals she was more than ready to leave when Angel suggested it.
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"Can we watch a movie or something?" Angel asked and Buffy glanced over at him surprised. He'd been pretty quiet the whole drive to the hotel and she was sure he was worrying about his mother so she had assumed he'd be spending his time brooding. She'd quickly learned he liked to brood.
"Sure," she agreed and he nodded as he undid the bed and climbed in. As soon as Buffy finished brushing her hair she crawled into bed next to him and he handed her the remote. Forcing herself not to rethink it, Buffy slid over until she rested against Angel's side. Angel grinned as he realized what she'd done and he didn't hesitate to wrap his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer. She called up the movie menu on the TV and they began to scroll through them together. "What do you want to order?"
"Anything," he told her honestly. With her so close he was pretty confident he'd be too distracted to see much of it anyways.
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Angel was woken up by a persistent ringing. He remembered falling asleep with Buffy right after the movie, and he smiled to himself as he realized she was snuggled up against his chest. He was pretty sure she was at least starting to feel something between them too. Then his phone rang again, and when he looked around he realized it was nearly three in the morning. Feeling a sense of dread, he reached for his cell. A phone call at three am rarely meant good news.
"Hello?" he answered sleepily and he heard the caller let out a deep breath on the other end.
"Angel, I'm glad you answered," Wesley replied and Angel felt himself becoming more awake. "Sorry to wake you, but I thought you'd want to know your mother woke up," he said and Angel felt as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. Thank God. "She was coherent and recognized us. She's exhausted though and back asleep. We didn't get a chance to tell her you were here," he explained and Angel felt Buffy slide up his body and he mouthed sorry to her to which she immediately shook her head in dismissal.
"Wes, is she okay?" Angel questioned and when Buffy rested a hand on his chest in support he gave her a small smile.
"She's fine," he assured him and Angel nodded to tell Buffy his mom was okay. "Like I said she was tired and after we made sure she remembered everything and the doctors checked her out she fell back asleep. They told us she'll probably sleep through the night," Wesley told him and Angel could hear that Wes was also exhausted.
"You and Fred need to go get some sleep too," Angel directed and Wes let out a short chuckle.
"Yes, that's exactly what we plan to do. We'll come back here in the morning and give you a call after we've talked to her," Wes told him and Angel agreed before they hung up.
"What happened?" Buffy asked immediately even as Angel slid down further in the bed to get more comfortable. He pulled her with him as he turned off the alarm. They didn't need to be at the hospital until after Wes called them.
"My mom woke up and everything's okay," Angel told her and she gave him a smile. "Fred and Wes didn't get a chance to tell her I'm here because she's really tired, but they will tomorrow and then they'll call," he explained quickly and he ran a hand through her hair. "Now get some sleep. If you have to meet my mother you're going to need it," he joked and she laughed lightly before reflexively placing a kiss on his neck as they fell back to sleep.
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"Hi Victoria," Fred said with a sweet smile as she walked into her hotel room. Wes had been keeping her company as Fred talked to the doctors and they assured her that the news of her son shouldn't have any adverse effects on Victoria's health.
"Fred," Mrs. O'Connor smiled happily as she saw the girl who she practically considered her daughter come into her room and sit next to her bed. "How are you, dear? Wesley was telling me about the move."
"Yeah, it's been an adjustment," she replied before taking a deep breath. "I have to tell you something, Victoria, and we're not sure you're going to like it," she began and Victoria looked at her curiously.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" she asked and Fred let out a soft laugh.
"We don't think it's anything wrong," she rambled and shook her head knowing she was dancing around the point. "Anyways, when we found out about your accident, we called Angel," she said evenly and she watched Victoria closely for any sign of emotion, but she was too much like her son. If she didn't want you to know what she was feeling then you wouldn't. "And he came here to see you," she continued and this time Victoria looked away and Fred fell silent almost forcing her to respond.
"And when he saw I was going to live he left?" she bit out but Fred's eyes widened realizing she had given Mrs. O'Connor the wrong impression.
"NO!" she exclaimed and Victoria looked back at Fred in confusion. "A-Angel's still here," she assured her and although she saw a change on Victoria's face she didn't know what it was. "He's here with his girlfriend, but we thought we should tell you first. He wants to see you," she rushed out and Angel's mom nodded.
"Okay."
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"Come with me," Angel begged Buffy as they stood outside his mother's hospital door, but Buffy shook her head.
"No, Angel," she refused and Angel sighed. "You should do this yourself the first time. Then you can introduce me," she compromised and he nodded knowing she was right. He was just afraid to face his mother alone. What if she still blamed him? What if she still hated him? "Go Angel," Buffy encouraged with a hand on his back as he placed one apprehensive hand on the door knob and turned it.
He walked in and tried to offer his mother a smile, but found it impossible. He was too nervous. This was the first time he'd seen her, at least conscious, in over a year and he'd forgotten how intimidating she could be.
"Hi mom," he finally said, unhappy with how soft his voice was. He stayed near the foot of her bed, and she merely nodded.
"Angel," she greeted and he felt as if he'd been stabbed by the coldness of her response.
"I was worried about you," he said truthfully and he forced himself to make eye contact.
"I'm fine," she told him and he nodded not sure why he'd expected any other response from his mother. Even when they'd been on good terms she didn't like when people fussed over her. "Fred said you brought your girlfriend," she said changing the subject and Angel nodded, relieved it sounded like he'd be bringing Buffy in. He did not want to be here alone with his mother for one more second. It was every bit as uncomfortable as he'd feared.
"She'd like to meet you," he replied and when his mother nodded he turned to leave the room before her voice stopped him.
"Does she know?" she asked and although Angel wasn't sure what she was asking about specifically it didn't matter. Buffy knew everything there was to know.
"Yes," he replied before leaving the room and going to get Buffy. She was standing by the door and she turned to him immediately.
"How did it go?" she wanted to know and he sighed and shook his head.
"She still hates me," he told her and Buffy could see he was trying not to let it get to him but was failing rather miserably. "She wants to meet you.
"Okay," Buffy agreed knowing Angel needed to get this over with so she grabbed his hand and they walked back inside Victoria's room.
"Mom, this is Buffy, my girlfriend," he announced and Buffy gave Angel's mother a warm smile despite the anger she felt towards her. How could she still blame her son? Especially one as caring and thoughtful as Angel.
"Hi Mrs. O'Connor," Buffy said. "It's nice to meet you."
"Buffy?" Victoria questioned and Buffy shrugged not feeling like she had to defend herself to someone who wouldn't even stand by her own son.
"Yeah, it's different," she agreed. "Kind of like Angel," she continued with a fake smile that Angel felt himself smiling at. He knew Buffy thought his mother was wrong, and a part of him loved that at least his girlfriend stuck by him. Fuck, FAKE girlfriend, Angel reminded himself.
"Touché," his mother replied with the hint of a smile on her face as well. Angel had certainly met his match with this one. At least someone was taking care of him since she couldn't. It was too painful, but he was still her son and she still loved him. Before the conversation could continue, a doctor walked in and interrupted them.
"Mr. O'Connor, could I speak to you for a moment regarding the medication your mother will be receiving upon her release from the hospital?" he asked and Angel shrugged before following him outside. Buffy saw him glance in her direction as the door shut behind him, but she was determined to stay here with his mother. She had a few things to say to her.
"Mrs. O'Connor," Buffy began, as she walked around so she was on the side of the bed. "I think you're one pretty pathetic excuse for a mother," she told her not bothering to hide any of the disgust in her voice. Buffy watched as Victoria's eyes widened before hardening in anger but Buffy continued before she could protest. "Angel is a good man, and we both know he wasn't responsible for the death of your daughter," she said forcing herself not to raise her voice. She didn't want anyone coming in here and interrupting this. "The only one who doesn't know that is Angel."
"You have no right!" Victoria exclaimed as she sat up a little straighter but Buffy barreled on having had this conversation in her head many times.
"I do have the right because someone has to do this and Angel never will. He would never tell you anything that would upset you," she said and Mrs. O'Connor knew that Buffy was right on that point. "You lost your husband and your daughter. You can't get them back," she stated bluntly and Victoria remained silent knowing Buffy had more to say. "But you can get your son back," she reminded her and Buffy saw a few tears collecting in the corners of Angel's mother's eyes. "He loves you and it kills him every day to think you hate him."
"I don't hate him," she interrupted immediately and Buffy smiled slightly having gotten exactly the reaction she was hoping for. Buffy took a small step back, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she waited for Mrs. O'Connor to explain herself. "At the time I did blame him. It was irrational, but I couldn't help it," she admitted. "Then it just hurt to look at him," she whispered.
"You don't have to tell me," Buffy said in a much calmer tone of voice. "You need to tell Angel."
"Tell Angel what?" he asked as he opened the door to hear the tail end of their conversation.
"Your mom has something she'd like to tell you," Buffy replied as she headed towards the door. He gave her a questioningly look, but she merely gestured back towards his mother and left the room.
"I don't hate you," Victoria said and Angel's head whirled around to look at her. Where had that come from? He saw a few tears in her eyes and it all fell into place. Buffy had said something.
"Mom, I'm sorry if Buffy-"
"No," she cut him off shaking her head. "It was about time somebody did," she told him. "We have a lot of issues Angel," she told him to which he only nodded. "I know, especially now after my own accident, that you weren't responsible for Kathy," she said quietly and Angel felt a few tears sting his own eyes as he sank on the chair next to his mom's bed.
"Mom," he whispered but she grabbed his hand to stop him.
"Let me get this out," she responded and he nodded. "You reminded me of your father more and more every day," she said in a nostalgic tone. "You looked like him, talked like him, and your mannerisms…and now it's even more similar," she trailed off as her mind traveled back in time. "After he died it broke my heart to be reminded of him in any way. It wasn't your fault Angel. It was mine," she explained and this time Angel did feel tears running down his face. He'd never gotten over the fact that his mother rejected him, but here she was apologizing for it. "I should have been strong enough to keep it together for you."
"Mom, you were always strong," he argued but she gave him a smile and patted his hand.
"After Kathy's accident it was just too much," she whispered and he nodded again as he remembered how difficult it had been for both of them. "It was easy to blame you. Logically of course it didn't make sense, but logic doesn't matter when a woman has lost her husband and daughter in such a short amount of time," she spoke quietly and Angel squeezed her hand having used that argument in her defense a number of times. "But you lost a father and a sister and I seemed to forget that."
"You didn't have to-"
"Yes, Angel, I did," she interrupted and he looked down, his eyes locked on their hands. "I pushed you away. And your girlfriend was right. I can't get them back," she choked out and she raised her arm and brushed away her tears despite the cast. "But I can get you back," she whispered and he looked up at her, both of their tear filled eyes locking. "At least I hope I still can."
"You can," he promised her as he stood up to give her a hug. He hugged her gently to be careful of her injuries before placing a kiss on her forehead. "Mom, I'm glad to have you back," he said as he sat back down.
"We'll have to work back in slowly, I'm sure," she reminded him and he nodded willing to do whatever it took to get his mom, his only remaining family, back in his life. "But I do like your girlfriend," she smiled a wide grin.
"Yeah, she's something," Angel agreed with a smile as his mind seemed to wander to thoughts of her.
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"She's going to need help," Wesley pointed out as the four of them sat in the waiting room discussing what they were going to do about Mrs. O'Connor. "Even once she's released she'll have a broken leg and her wrist…" he trailed off as the other three nodded.
"I could stay with her," Angel offered and Buffy selfishly hoped he wouldn't. She didn't know how long she could stay here with him under the pretense of being his girlfriend. Tomorrow was New Year's Eve when this was all supposed to be over. If he stayed here, hours away from Sunnydale…God she may never see him again.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea for either of you, Angel," Fred spoke gently and Angel nodded having already been unsure himself. "I just don't think that's the way for you to rebuild your relationship."
"You're probably right," Angel agreed and Fred seemed relieved that he wasn't insulted.
"Fred and I discussed it, and we're still in the process of selling our old apartment anyways," he explained. "Some of our furniture hasn't even been moved out. We could stay there and take care of your mother," he offered and Angel stood and shook Wes' hand before pulling him into a manly hug.
"Thanks Wes," he replied and Wes gave him a smile in return. Angel turned to Fred and immediately wrapped his arms around her. "If she drives you crazy call me," he said only half joking and Fred laughed. He'd already said goodbye to his mother and wished her a happy new year so there was nothing left for him to do here.
"We'll see you guys soon," they promised and Angel grabbed Buffy's hand leading her out of the hospital.
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"When do you want to leave tomorrow?" Angel asked as he sat up in the bed, his back resting against the headboard.
"I don't have anything going on until the party at eight, so…whenever," she shrugged crawling into bed next to him and mimicking his position. Angel briefly considered that checkout was at eleven, but the hotel was pretty cheap. He was exhausted, both mentally and emotionally from the past couple days and it would be worth it to not have to rush out of bed in the morning.
"I'm not going to set the alarm then. Whenever we get up we'll just go," he told her and Buffy nodded before he fell silent. His eyes were blank, staring straight in front of him and Buffy could tell he was holding something back.
"Angel, what's wrong?" she questioned and when he turned to face her she was struck by the emotions she could see in his eyes.
"I don't know how to thank you," he whispered, turning slightly as he pulled her into his arms. "She blamed me for so long," he muttered and Buffy wrapped her arms around him, somehow knowing he'd always kept it to himself how much his lack of a relationship with his mother hurt him. "Buffy, I-" he stopped feeling himself beginning to choke up and Buffy ran her fingers through his hair.
"It's okay," she replied and his eyes fell shut as he felt himself quickly losing control of his emotions.
"Thank you for making me come here," he breathed and she pulled back slightly so she could see his face. Her heart broke at the vulnerability in his gaze. She'd never seen him that way. She'd seen him happy, playful, tired, even angry and scared, but never ever vulnerable. "And I don't know what you said to my mom, but…" he trailed off as their eyes met and every coherent thought vanished from his mind.
She was perfect…just so fucking perfect, he realized as he thought about all she'd done for him. You didn't do that for someone you didn't at least care about. She had to have some feelings for him. She had to. There was no way feelings this intense and this relentless could possibly be one-sided. He brushed some hair back behind her ear and felt as if his world was spinning.
She was so damn beautiful too, he thought as his eyes flickered down to her lips. He stifled a groan as he thought about the way her lips had felt against his. The few kisses he'd given her were etched into his memory, but they weren't enough. He doubted he'd ever get enough of her. His senses all seemed to be in overdrive and he felt like her hand on the back of his neck was on fire. He thought he heard her breath hitch, but it could have been his, as one of his hands tangled in her hair.
"Buffy," he murmured and there were somehow only a few inches between their lips.
"Angel?" she questioned in a breathy voice and any control he'd had left snapped at that moment.
"Please don't hate me for this," he begged before pulling her lips to his. She whimpered slightly when their lips met, and he didn't waste a second before slipping his tongue into her mouth. With one hand still on the back of his neck, she ran the other one around to his back, digging her nails into his skin through his t-shirt. Their tongues slid against each other slowly and sensuously, and he didn't bother holding back a groan.
He was less hesitant this time, she noticed and she knew he was only looking for comfort, but she'd be damned if she wasn't going to provide the best fucking comfort he'd ever experienced. She shifted, pushing his chest back against the headboard as she moved to straddle him. His hands instinctively fell to her hips and she moaned into his mouth as he pushed her against his hardening length.
As she ground her hips into his, he broke the kiss and gasped as her hands ran underneath his shirt, quickly pulling it off of him. He immediately leaned forward and placed teasing kisses along her neck, licking and sucking lightly as he went. She was trembling in his arms as his hands came up to caress her breasts through her top.
"Angel," she whispered and with the sound of her voice reality came crashing back down for him.
"Oh God, Buffy," he exclaimed as he leaned back against the headboard, feeling terribly guilty for what he'd just done. "I'm sorry," he whispered and she looked at him half curious, and half desperate to return to what they'd been doing ten seconds ago. "This wasn't supposed to happen th-"
"Oh my God," she muttered climbing off of him and moving a few inches away. He was going to tell her it wasn't supposed to happen. She felt a few tears stinging her eyes but she forced them away. She knew what she was getting into when she'd started this whole fake fiancé thing.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you. Especially not after everything you've done for me," he told her and she didn't bother telling him that if he hadn't stopped them she'd have ended up doing a whole hell of a lot more for him.
"I wasn't exactly fighting you off," she pointed out with a slight blush and he ran a hand down his face. She hadn't fought him off, or even hesitated, he realized, and he suddenly hated himself very much for stopping them. But glancing over at her, he caught sight of her swollen lips and flushed face and he knew he'd made the right decision. He wanted her more than anything, but he was going to do it right. And with her not even knowing how he felt about her it wasn't right.
She slid down the bed, covering herself with the blankets and he glanced around for his shirt. He should probably put that back on…
He spotted it several feet away all the way in a corner. He looked back towards Buffy and thought better of putting that shirt back on. It wasn't really that important anyway, he decided as he too slid down and began to get comfortable.
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Hours later Angel lay awake in bed, listening to Buffy's steady breathing. She'd fallen asleep quite a while ago, but he was still lost in his thoughts. She hadn't crawled into his arms tonight like she had the past few nights, but he supposed he could understand why. If she felt anything like him, any more contact would have sent her over the edge.
This was becoming way too hard on both of them. And tomorrow was New Year's Eve, their last scheduled night together. But he wasn't leaving her. He couldn't. He'd take her to the party tomorrow night, they'd have fun, and before he dropped her off at home he'd tell her how he felt. But just in case she didn't feel the same way he'd give himself one more night with her. They could still have New Year's Eve.
She turned her back towards him in her sleep and Angel let out a sigh. He'd become addicted to falling asleep with her in his arms so he slid over to her quietly. He prayed she didn't wake up as he slid an arm around her waist and spooned her body from behind.
Remember, a birthday review would be nice! Let me know what you thought.