Hello! Thank you once again for reading my fanfic! I have to admit, I had so much difficulty writing this chapter that's why this took longer to write than what I expected. I even had to remove some scenes that I already wrote since it became too long. So some of those scenes would be on the next chapter. The more I re-read and edited this, the more I was worried about it.
This fanfic is about to end; it only has less than 5 chapters remaining. So now I'm thinking of the next SouMako fanfic to write, and I have several fanfics stored up hehe! Would you guys like to read a Victorian-inspired (with a bit of supernatural elements) SouMako fanfic? Or maybe an Omegaverse fanfic? I also have a slice-of-life fanfic where Makoto and Sousuke has babies. How about a Samurai inspired one? I really can't decide! Maybe you could let me know which one you'd be interested in I'd be really grateful!
This is un-beta'd, so I'll appreciate if you point out some errors.
Makoto stared at himself in the mirror, trying to smooth out the collar of the bottle green shirt he was wearing and somehow tame his unruly hair. His mind wondered to the text message he received the day earlier, what in heaven's name was going on in Haru's mind? There was once a time that all they had to was to look at each other and they would already know what the other was thinking? Have they already reached the end of that? Makoto exhaled through his pursed lips; he was hoping that that time will never come.
As soon as he was done reading the text message earlier, he replied to it confirming that he indeed was going, but he never received any reply after that. It just made the whole thing even more confusing for him, just when he thought that maybe they could start taking one step at a time in mending their relationship. Hopefully, they would have some time to themselves and he and Haru could talk.
Satisfied with his outfit, he left his bedroom and hurried downstairs. He thought maybe if he arrives early, he would have a chance to talk to Haru while it was just the two of them. When Makoto was done putting his shoes on by the door and was about to leave, Mrs. Tachibana called and approached him. "Makoto, here, take this with you," she said while handing Makoto a plastic bag filled with snacks and a container with side dishes. "Are you ok?"
Makoto chuckled nervously, "I am. Mom, I don't know what to do."
Mrs. Tachibana smiled and tapped his shoulders, "You'll be fine. The two of you would get to talk and you both would realize that whatever happened wasn't that big of an problem to begin with. Everything will work out fine."
"Thanks Mom, I might sleepover at Haru's, I don't know. But in any case, I'm sure I'd be late so I'll take my keys so you wouldn't have to wait up for me," Makoto said as turned the door knob.
"Ok, take care dear. Have fun!"
Makoto was standing at Haru's front door, trying to decide if he should knock or just go to the back door and enter. It felt quiet odd, he now felt like a stranger in a place which was like his second home.
'Well, this is it,' he thought to himself, taking a few calming breath. As much as he would like to avoid any disagreement, he knew he had to do this since he misses his best friend.
Makoto knocked and called out to Haru at the door. He was used to not getting a response whenever he calls or knocks on the door, but he thought he ought to try anyways. After several tries, the front door opened. To his surprise, it was not Haru who greeted him.
"Rin!" Makoto said with his eyes widened in surprise. He knew that Rin was going, but he did not expect that he would be here before anyone else arrived.
"Come in. Haru's in the kitchen," Rin said before stepping aside and letting him in.
Makoto noticed Rin's strained expression. It was as if Rin was uneasy being around him, which was odd. They had been sending emails to each other for a few weeks now. Why does it seem that Rin's uncomfortable with him? Did he say something wrong? Was Rin not happy to see him?
Makoto walked towards the kitchen and peeked at its occupant. Standing in front of the stove was Haru, preparing what he supposes would be their dinner. Thankfully, Haru forgoes his usual outfit and was wearing sweatpants and a normal t-shirt under his apron.
"Hey Haru," Makoto greeted Haru anxiously.
The hand Haru was using in chopping the daikon went still and he turned towards the direction where the voice came from. "Makoto," Haru greeted back.
Makoto smiled, he could see a faint blush on Haru's cheeks. It probably because of the heat in the kitchen, or that after a long time, they were finally talking.
He stepped closer to Haru, "How have you been?"
Haru did not answer. To Makoto's surprise, Haru stepped closer leaned his forehead on Makoto's chest and wrapped his arms around his waist.
Taken aback, Makoto wrapped his arms around Haru's shoulders, "What's going on?"
Haru just shook his head, his face still buried in Makoto's chest. Makoto chuckled; this may be Haru's way of making up for all the lost time.
Makoto lowered his head, "I missed you, Haru."
Haru mumbled against Makoto's shirt, "Me too."
There were so many things he wanted to ask Haru, so many questions that he asked himself over and over during the time that they were apart. However, there would be a right time for that. Right now, he was just happy to be beside his best friend.
Makoto noticed the bubbling pot on the stove, "Haru, you might want to check what you're cooking."
"Fine," Haru said before stepping back and turning back towards the stove. "Will you stay in the kitchen?"
"Sure, do you need my help on anything?" Makoto said as he placed the plastic bag he was carrying in the counter.
Haru looked at him, and then turned away, "No, just stay where you are."
Since he was already in the kitchen, he thought he might as well do something. He decided to transfer the chips he bought onto bowls. Once done, he leaned on the counter to observe the changes with the way Haru looked. He noticed that Haru looked leaner, his skin a bit more tan. He was quite happy that his best friend had really been pushing himself in order to achieve his dreams.
"Don't stare too much," Haru mumbled as he transferred the food to a bowl.
"I just haven't seen you for a long time. I wanted to see how you've improved," Makoto said
"Nothing has changed."
"I beg to disagree. Your training had certainly improved your muscles. You look very good Haru-chan!"
Makoto heard someone clear their throat. Both he and Haru turned to look at where it came from and saw Rin leaning by the doorway.
"You guys need help?" Rin offered.
"Oh, I was just watching Haru. He wouldn't let me help," Makoto said.
Haru scoffed, "You might switch the salt and sugar again."
"Hey, I've been practicing," Makoto said. "How have you been?" Makoto asked as he moved closer to Rin.
"I guess I'm ok. Training has been pretty intense for me and Haru," Rin said while looking at a point beyond Makoto's shoulder. Makoto observed that there was something different with the way Rin was acting, he seemed fidgety and stance seems rather too rigid. It was starting to make Makoto uncomfortable, but he decided to brush it off and suppose that it may just be because they have not seen each other for quite some time.
"Well, you both are amazing," Makoto smiled, noticing how Rin blushed at the praise. "Oh by the way, Sousuke will be here in a few days. I just don't know exactly when."
Rin somehow brightened at the news, "Really?"
"Yeah, I'm sure you missed each other. You two should set a date so you could catch up," Makoto said. "Where's Gou?"
Rin shrugged, "I don't know. I thought she'd come here with me, but she said she'd meet Nagisa and Rei first before coming here."
Makoto turned to back to Haru and noticed that Haru was looking at him with a frown, seemingly confused. Makoto wondered, did he say something that may have offended Haru?
The silence between the three of them that followed made the air felt thick and quite oppressive. Makoto felt as it was hard to breathe, and it was starting to become unbearable. It was as if an accidental spark would cause the kitchen to explode. There was something wrong; he could feel it in his gut and he couldn't explain why.
He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock on the front door. "I'll get it," Makoto said as he headed for the door, glad to have an excuse to leave the kitchen. He let Nagisa, Rei, and Gou in. What surprised him was that even Nitori and Momo came.
"We brought food!" Momo happily exclaimed.
"Good evening Haru-senpai, Rin-senpai, Makoto-senpai," Nitori greeted.
Makoto smiled, "There's no need to be so formal. Come in, Haru's almost done with dinner."
"Hello, Makoto-senpai," Gou greeted.
"Gou!" Makoto noticed that Gou looked better than she did the last time he saw her.
They first had nabe and pickled vegetables Makoto brought from home. Watching everyone sitting around the table eating and chatting, Makoto felt as if he was back in time when things weren't that complicated, and everyone was happy.
After dinner, they gathered around the living room to catch up and drink and Makoto had no idea where Nagisa got the alcoholic drinks. Again, Haru sat beside Makoto and was leaning on his shoulder. It made Makoto smile since it was rare for Haru to openly show physical affection towards anybody. He was surprised how clingy Haru has been and he thought that it was probably because of alcohol.
"Haru, can we talk later, like just you and me?" Makoto quietly asked Haru. He looked at Makoto, and then quietly nodded. Makoto just hoped that Haru would still remember it before the evening ends.
"It's starting to get boring, we should play a game," Nagisa said as his eyes sparkled with mischief.
"I think you're the only one who got bored," Gou said.
"Oh dear god, is this one of those truth or dare games that's used in shoujo mangas for plot's sake?" Rin said as he threaded his fingers into his hair and rolled his eyes.
"No, we're going to play King's game! We just need some chopsticks with numbers and one that has a crown mark in it, which I happen to have," Nagisa said before grabbing his bag.
"You look alarmingly prepared for this," Rei said with a frown as he watched Nagisa pull out a bunch of sticks with marks on its ends.
"How does the game work?" Makoto asked.
Nagisa grinned and went into full explanation mode, "So each of us will draw a stick. The one who draws the stick with a crown would be the king, and he could order anyone around. But he would only choose the number, so the king would still not know whom he ordered. Sounds fun right? Ok, let's practice! For the practice, I'll be king!"
"Oh no!" Rei groaned.
Everyone drew a stick from the can. "Remember, the king's order is absolute!" Nagisa announced.
So the game proceeded, resulting in Momo and Nitori slow dancing, Rei dancing to the song Ai Kotoba, and Rin singing.
Nagisa was again lucky enough to be King. "So number 4 will kiss number 2 on the lips! Who's number 4 and 2?"
Makoto looked at the number written on the stick he picked and panicked; apparently, he was number 2. Makoto looks at Nagisa, his eyes pleading. Although Sousuke was not around, he wouldn't be able to bear the guilt of kissing another person behind Sousuke's back.
"Oh, maybe I should change my order," Nagisa said. Makoto felt a bit relaxed that Nagisa got his message.
"You can't! That's cheating!" Momo protested.
"Well we changed the order for Rin-chan earlier, didn't we?"
"Well it's because the order was for Rin-senpai to kiss Gou-chan on the lips, and that is not acceptable!"
"Wait! wait!" Everyone turned and saw Haru looking straight into Makoto's eyes and leaning forward. Apparently, Haru got the number 4 stick.
"Haru wait," Makoto didn't realize that he was actually backing away until he bumped into Rei's arm.
"Just get it over with it's just a kiss!" Rin said, sounding annoyed.
Makoto placed his hands on Haru's shoulder, gently pushing Haru back. "Haru, I can't! I have a boyfriend!"
Suddenly, Makoto became conscious of all the eyes on him. He wanted to disappear at the very moment since he could feel his courage ebb away and it felt like a bucket of ice cold water was dumped all over his body. He looked around and saw the shock on Rin, Nitori, and Momo's eyes, while Nagisa, Rei, and Gou looked at him with worry. There was no avoiding it, although he would have liked to break the news in a better manner, he just has to tell them.
"I'm dating Sousuke, so I'd really appreciate it if you change the order. I'll do anything you want me to," Makoto said.
For a few heart stopping seconds, nobody responded. Makoto could hear his heart beating loudly in ears, and felt that it would just burst through his chest.
Nitori looked around, confusion written all over his face. He began to speak, "Uh, Makoto-senpai, congra-"
Suddenly, a loud bang on the low table startled everybody. When Makoto turned to his side and saw the rage in Haru's eyes, his hand on the table curled into a fist so tight that his knuckles started to turn white.
Makoto had never seen Haru so livid, it almost frightened him. "H-Haru, what's wrong?"
Just when Makoto was about to place his hand on top of Haru's fist, Haru grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the room. Makoto looked back at his friends and saw Rin stand up, only to be stopped by Nagisa and Gou.
Nervous and confused, Makoto couldn't do anything but to allow himself to be dragged. He winced as he could feel Haru's nails painfully digging into his skin, and Makoto thought that it may start bleeding, but he was too afraid to say something about it.
Haru pulled him until they reached the cliff overlooking the ocean, the place where they used to hang after school. Haru let go of his hand with a jerk.
Makoto rubbed his wrist, feeling the marks Haru's nails left on his skin. "H-Haru, wha-"
"Why?" Haru shouted.
Makoto was rarely (or almost never) on the receiving end of Haru's rage. Just seeing the anger in Haru's eyes scared him, he couldn't stop his voice from shaking. "W-What do you mean? Haru…"
"How could you? You just fell in love with somebody else just like that when I've loved you for so long! And Sousuke? Of all the people in the world, why him?"
Loved? Haru loved him? "Haru, I don't understand."
Haru grabbed both his wrists and pulled him closer, "You told me you love me! Was that real?"
"Of course it was real! You… you are like a brother to me. I always…"
"I've always loved you, Makoto. Not as a brother, or a friend. I love you as a man, and I kept it to myself because I thought it wasn't right. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. But you, were you that desperate? You just clung to whoever gave you the attention you wanted while I was gone?"
The word Haru had let go felt like daggers being thrown into his heart, and Makoto could feel himself tremble, unsure if it's because of his fear or anger. "B-But why did you avoid me? Why didn't you talk to me? Haru I just wanted to understand what's going on! Don't accuse me of things when you know you hurt me just as bad!"
They both remained silent afterwards. Makoto couldn't read Haru's expression. He then felt unsure if his words reached Haru. Just when he stepped closer and was about to place his hands on Haru's shoulders, Haru grabbed his collar and kissed him.
Makoto froze, his eyes wide open. What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to push Haru away? Whatever was happening, Makoto's whole body screamed that it was not right.
Haru pulled away and pressed his forehead against Makoto's chest and gripped his wrists. "Every single fucking day that I see you, I want to push you down take you. But I was afraid of losing you. What if you only liked girls? What if you became afraid of me? I'd rather suffer in silence, Makoto. I'd rather stay away that be avoided by you."
It was the first time that Makoto heard Haru pour out so much of what was in his heart, and he was speechless. It was also the first time that he realized that Haru was no longer the boy he grew up with, but a man who has an entirely different view than himself.
Haru's grip on Makoto's wrist tightened. "If I confessed, if I had the courage to tell you what I felt when I realized what I felt for you, do you think we could have been together?"
With the realization that he was the source of all the pain Haru was feeling the whole time, Makoto felt a lump forming in his throat and tears threatening to fall. He opened his mouth, only for his voice to get stuck in his throat.
"Please, please tell me I'm not too late…" Haru begged.
The desperation in Haru's voice pierced through Makoto's heart and he couldn't bear the ache in his chest. Makoto held his breath, he was using every single ounce of strength he has in keeping himself together. He ran Haru's question within his mind; if they were in a different situation, would he actually be happy to hear Haru's confession?
However, having more than what they already had never crossed his mind. "Haru, I'm so sorry…." Makoto said, his voice barely a whisper.
Without a word, Haru released his wrist and stepped back, his head lowered and his hair hid his eyes. He then turned around without a word and ran.
As he watched Haru's run away from him, Makoto couldn't find the strength to call or run after his best friend. He was at a loss as to what was the right thing to. His knees felt like jelly and he slumped on the wooden bench
What had he done?
First, he had been the cause of Gou's. Now, he has eve hurt his best friend. Was that all he ever does, hurt other people. No wonder Rin had looked so sad earlier. He must have known something about this. He ran his hands through his hair and pulled it tightly until tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He has to do something. He has to apologize to Haru. He knew how to comfort Haru when he is upset. But how would he be able to do it if he was the cause of it?
He stood up and walked aimlessly. He couldn't stay in the same place, he had to get away. He just wanted to get away from everything.
Before he was aware of where he was and what he did, he found himself on the stairs heading for Haru's house. Since he was there, he thought that he should check if Haru went home already.
"Mako?"
Makoto heard a familiar voice. He turned towards the direction where it came from. Was he imagining things? He blinked several times just to make sure that his mind was not tricking him. "Sou…?"
Sousuke was a few steps away from him, his brows were deeply furrowed as he stepped closer and studied him, "Makoto, what's wrong?"
Makoto felt that all the strings he was using to hold himself together snapped and felt relief burst in his chest. His lips curled downward and strode towards Sousuke, throwing his arms around and burying his nose in the crook of Sousuke's neck. Just being surrounded by Sousuke's warmth and scent was enough to somehow ease his pain.
Though he can feel tears threatening to fall from his eyes, he bit his lips and closed his eyes tightly. No, he was not going to cry. He was not going to let himself act as if he was the victim when all he ever did was hurt his friends.
"What happened?" Sousuke asked while rubbing his back.
Makoto pulled back a bit from the embrace; he was puzzled as to why Sousuke suddenly appeared. "Wait, what are you doing here? When did you get here?"
"I was going to surprise you. I got here in the afternoon and I thought I should visit you first before checking in somewhere I can stay, but I got lost. I thought I knew where Haru lived and I knew you were neighbors, but everything looks so different," Sousuke said while grinning.
Makoto couldn't help but laugh. Of course, Sousuke would get lost, but it was a good thing that he was able to find his way.
"Well, I'm glad you're smiling at my expense, Makoto," he said. "But what's going on? You look pale, and your eyes are puffy," he said as he studied Makoto's face.
The memory of what happened just a few minutes ago came crashing down on him, and the smile on Makoto's face quickly evaporated. "We were at Haru's place and were having fun and Haru… Haru, he confessed to me. It's a long story."
Sousuke remained silent. In the dark, the only sign that Makoto saw that proved that he was listening was when he saw the muscle on Sousuke's jaw twitch, and this made him worry.
Makoto stepped back and squeezed Sousuke's hand. "He was angry at me, Sousuke. I have to go back, I have to check if Haru's ok."
"Makoto, I don't think that's a good idea. Both you and Haru are too emotional right now, maybe talk to him tomorrow. Give it a day. Just give him some space."
"I should at least check if he did went home," Makoto reasoned.
Sousuke sighed, "Fine, but don't force him to talk to you."
They climbed the stairs, never letting go in of each other's hand. Makoto gathered all his courage, and he could feel his body tensing. Sousuke may have sensed it as he squeezed Makoto's hand as if to remind Makoto that he was not alone.
When they were both standing in front of Haru's house, Makoto turned to Sousuke. "Sousuke, I-"
Sousuke suddenly cut him off, "I'll stay out here and wait. But if something happens, I'm coming in, ok?"
Makoto nodded before turning the doorknob. When Makoto opened the door and called Haru, he was barely able to take two steps forward before he saw a flash of red before his eyes. Before he knew it, he was grabbed by the collar of his shirt and pinned against the wall. Makoto winced in pain as he felt the back of his head hit the wall. Everyone came running towards the front door to check where the ruckus was coming from.
"What the fuck did you do to Haru?!" Rin snarled at him.
Gou tried to pull Rin's arm, "Onii-chan, stop! You don't know what happened!"
"Get away from me!" Rin shouted back at his sister.
Makoto tried to explain himself, "Rin! I didn't-"
"Bullshit!" Rin barked. "Haru was crying! He wouldn't speak to anyone! What the fucking hell-"
Suddenly, the front door flew open and someone grabbed Rin by his shirt. "Let go!" Sousuke growled.
Makoto felt a shiver run down his spine when he heard Sousuke, he never realized how frightening Sousuke was when he was angry. Though Sousuke's anger was not directed at him, it didn't make his appearance any less intimidating. Makoto looked at Rin and saw the shock on his eyes as well.
Rin snarled, "This had nothing to do with you!"
"I said, let go! Don't make me do something I would regret later," Sousuke said.
Makoto saw Sousuke's grip tighten on Rin's hirt, making Rin wince. Finally, Rin let go of Makoto's shirt and stepped back.
Sousuke pushed Rin away from Makoto. He then stepped towards Makoto and fixed his crumpled shirt. He cupped Makoto's cheek with his hand while his eyes studied Makoto's face, "Are you hurt?"
Too shaken to say anything, Makoto shook his head in response.
Sousuke turned back to Rin. "I have been so patient with you, Rin. I've kept up with every stupid shit you did, but not this time. I'm not going to just stand by and watch you hurt my boyfriend."
Sousuke turned and grabbed Makoto's wrist and pulling him out the house, "Let's go."
Makoto turned around and saw Nagisa, Rei, Gou, Momo, and Nitori watching them with frightened expressions. Right behind them, he saw Haru standing with scowl.
It was supposed to be a night where friends his would gather chat and catch-up with each other. They were supposed to have fun! But Makoto felt that he ruined it. He knew that he needs to apologize to them, but doesn't have the courage and strength. He just wants to go home with Sousuke.
Makoto lowered his eyes and just let himself be pulled by Sousuke.
"Fuck!" Sousuke cursed loudly to himself as he stormed out and away from Haru's house. He should have trusted his instinct and not let Makoto go back. The image of Rin holding pinning Makoto against the wall filled him with inexplicable rage and made his blood boil. It took all his patience to not punch RIn. If Rin weren't his friend, Sousuke would have pummeled him then and there.
Suddenly, he felt Makoto tug at his arm. He looked back and saw Makoto struggle to keep up with him. He was not aware that he was walking too fast and was dragging Makoto. Realizing that Makoto has been silently trying to keep up with him filled him with guilt.
"I'm sorry, I didn't notice. Come here," Sousuke said before enclosing Makoto with his arms in an embrace. He noticed how Makoto's body trembled, and Sousuke cursed himself again. Sousuke rubbed Makoto's back and hugged him tightly in an attempt to comfort him. He pulled back from and looked into Makoto's eyes. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that."
"I'm just shocked," Makoto said, his voice shaking. "Oh god, I am such a coward!"
"No, you're not. Maybe you should go home and rest, ok? Come on, I'll walk you home." Sousuke said as he placed his arm around Makoto's waist and walked him towards the door.
When they reached Makoto's home, Makoto insisted that he enter the kitchen so he could serve him something to drink. Upon entering the kitchen, they found Mrs. Tachibana washing dishes. She turned around to look at them. "Oh, I thought you're spending the night at Haru's."
Makoto just smiled and shook his head. "Mom, this is Sousuke."
Mrs. Tachibana's attention was suddenly on Sousuke. He had to admit, he was not expecting that he would meet Makoto's parents immediately, and the sudden introduction made him uneasy. "Good evening. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Tachibana," Sousuke said before he bowed.
"Good evening to you, too. Why don't we have a chat by the kitchen?" Mrs. Tachibana said as she gestured for them to take a seat. She went to the refrigerator and took a pitcher. She then poured water into two glasses and handed it to Makoto and Sousuke who had already taken their seat.
"Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?" Mrs. Tachibana said as she sat across from Makoto.
"Yeah…" Makoto said.
Sousuke decided that since Makoto and his mother needs to talk, it might be the best time to take his leave. "I'll be heading out, then," Sousuke said.
"Wait, where will you be staying?" Makoto asked with a frown.
"Honestly, I haven't checked-in yet, I'll just look for some place I can stay in town."
Mrs. Tachibana suddenly spoke, "No, you should stay over. It's already late and you both look tired. We have an extra futon. It would also be a waste of money if you stay at a hotel when you can just stay here,"
"I wouldn't want to impose on you," Sousuke said, feeling a bit embarrassed.
"No dear, it's fine. You can just stay in Makoto's room," Mrs. Tachibana said.
"Oh, we have a visitor." Mr. Tachibana stepped in to the kitchen, holding an empty tea cup in his hands.
Makoto stood up. "Dad, this is Sousuke. Sousuke, my father."
Sousuke stood up and bowed. "Good evening, Mr. Tachibana."
"Nice to meet you, Sousuke-kun. Why are you gathered here? Did something happen?"
Makoto hesitated, "Is it ok if I show Sousuke the bathroom and my room first? Sousuke's tired since he just got here from Tokyo and maybe he could rest first while we talk."
"Of course, dear. Help Sousuke first, your father and I will wait for you," Mrs Tachibana said.
The two of them left the kitchen and Makoto showed Sousuke around. Before they went upstairs, Makoto showed Sousuke where the bathroom was. On the second floor, he pointed to his bedroom door and picked up the futon from the linen closet and the end of the hall.
Sousuke took the futon from Makoto. "I'll take care of this. Just go talk to your parents. I can take it from here."
"Are you sure? You wouldn't get lost?" Makoto asked with concern.
Sousuke laughed and gently kissed Makoto's lips. "I'll be fine, I'm a grown man. Don't make your parents wait."
"Ok thanks," Makoto said before heading downstairs.
Sousuke entered Makoto's room and looked around. Makoto's room was only furnished by a study table, a low table, and the bed. It was like catching a glimpse of the time when he was still not in Makoto's life. He felt a pang of jealousy in his chest when he realized that Haru had been in this very same room hundreds of time. He shook his head and reprimanded himself; it was not the right time to entertain such thoughts. He set the futon and his bag on the floor, and then set the low table aside to prepare the futon. Once done, he took some of his things and headed downstairs to take a quick shower
After his shower, he peeked at the kitchen and saw Makoto talking to his parents, his father rubbing Makoto's back to comfort him. Sousuke turned and decided to just wait for Makoto in his bedroom.
Sousuke woke to the sound of the bedroom door closing. He watched Makoto drying his hair, and Sousuke felt confused. How long has he been sitting on the futon? He must have dozed off since he was certain Makoto didn't take any clothes with him before he talked to his parents.
After drying his hair and hanging his towel in a hook behind the bedroom door, Makoto sat between Sousuke's legs and leaned his head against Sousuke's shoulder. Sousuke was surprised how someone who was almost as tall as him could make himself appear so small and vulnerable.
"Are you feeling better?" Sousuke asked, trying to peek at Makoto's hidden face. It took a few seconds before Makoto nodded.
"Just rest for tonight, ok? Your mind would be clearer tomorrow. Do you have a hair dryer? You can't sleep with wet hair," Sousuke asked as his eyes roamed around the bedroom, looking for the said apparatus.
Makoto mumbled something against his shoulder.
Sousuke's brows furrowed. Did Makoto just say something? "Sorry, I didn't hear you. What did you say?"
"I hurt them."
"Makoto…" Sousuke said.
"My happiness was always at the cost of someone else's. I shouldn't have been happy. I don't have the right to be," Makoto whispered.
Sousuke held Makoto's chin and lifted it so he would be looking directly at him. "Oi, Makoto! Look at me!"
When Sousuke looked into Makoto's eyes, he saw the tears that were threatening to fall, and it pierced his heart. Dammit! Sousuke felt almost angry since every time he sees Makoto cry, the reason was always Haru.
"You deserve to be happy! Fuck, of all the people I know, you're the one who deserves happiness the most. You always put others before yourself," Sousuke said as he wiped the tears that continuously flowed. "I will fight for your happiness. I'll make sure that you'll always be happy. Don't let anyone tell you that you don't deserve to be, ok? So don't think like that."
Makoto bit his lip and nodded. He was silent for a few seconds before he continued. "And Rin, he-"
"Don't," Sousuke interrupted. "I'm pretty sure you are just about to blame yourself and I will have none of that!" Sousuke said. He drew up Makoto hands and kissed his knuckles. He felt a slight resistance when he took Makoto's hand. Curious, he looked at Makoto's wrist and found red, crescent moon marks on his skin.
"What the… Who did this?" Sousuke said with gritted teeth.
Makoto pulled his hand back and covered his wrist with his other hand, "It's nothing."
"It's not nothing Makoto, I'm pretty sure those are nail marks! Who did that?" Sousuke did his best not to raise his voice since he wouldn't want to rouse the whole household.
"It was an accident," Makoto answered quietly.
Sousuke asked slow and firmly, "Makoto, who did that?" Sousuke was not going to just drop the subject, especially since he felt a very strong urge to knock out the living daylights out of the culprit
It took a few seconds before Makoto responded. "Haru…" Makoto said, his answer barely audible.
Sousuke had to control the rage that was building up in his chest. Fuck! How dare he? How dare he hurt Makoto over and over again? He resisted the urge to storm out of the house and punch Haru. "Let's just rest, you need to sleep."
Sitting up straight, Makoto looked at Sousuke and bit his lips. Just when Sousuke was about to ask what was thinking about, Makoto spoke. "Sousuke, can we sleep together?"
Sousuke looked around the room hesitantly. Well, the walls seemed pretty thin. From what he noticed, there's a door right across the hall and there's another one beside the room they were in. He didn't know which one belonged to Makoto's parents. "Uhm, someone might hear us. We could try to keep our voice down."
Makoto frowned, then his face was suddenly flushed and his eyes widened, "No! I mean just sleep beside each other, nothing more than that!"
For some reason, Sousuke actually felt rather disappointed, "Oh, ok."
Sousuke woke up around 5:00Am. It's really hard to break his habit of waking up early. He turned to his side, facing Makoto, to watch his peaceful sleeping face. He noticed Makoto's swollen eyelids and puffy lips, obviously from crying. Sousuke lightly rubbed his thumb on Makoto's lids and lips.
Sousuke remembered Makoto's words from the night before, and he was actually not that surprised. It felt more like a suspicion that has been confirmed. He was sure that it was impossible for Haru to have not been in love with Makoto all this time. Only a fool would not fall in love with Makoto. However, knowing that he was right all along did not make him feel any better at all! Just when he thought that there was nothing more that guy could do that would piss him off.
Rin, he was another problem. Rin always lets his emotion get the better of him, even to the point that he would wrongfully hurt someone. Was he angry because he thought whatever happened to Haru was Makoto's fault? Or did his actions root from something else?
Sousuke saw Makoto's eyes crack open. Sousuke pressed his lips against Makoto's forehead. "Good morning."
"G'morning. It's too early, you should go back to sleep," Makoto said before he yawned.
"I can't, you know I always wake up around this time."
Makoto sat up from the bed and stretched his arms upward, giving Sousuke a full view of his back. Makoto turned back to look at him, "By the way, who's taking care of our kitten?
Sousuke smiled and finally gave in to the urge and ran his hands up and down Makoto's back from within Makoto's shirt. "Jun is house-sitting. He's also managing the restaurant while I'm away."
He sat up and kissed Makoto's cheek and whispered close to his ears, "Why don't we wash up and make breakfast?" He really didn't need to whisper. He just loved seeing the goosebumps on Makoto's arms and how Makoto bites his lower lips when he does that.
As expected, Makoto bit down his lips and nodded, earning a grin from Sousuke. He took his vanity kit from his bag and together, they silently padded towards the bathroom, careful not to make any noise that would wake the other occupants of the house.
After they washed up in the bathroom, they went back downstairs towards the kitchen and started preparing breakfast.
They were already done with breakfast and were preparing the table when Makoto's parents arrived at the dining room. "Oh my," Mrs. Tachibana said with a smile, "I guess we'll have a special breakfast today."
Sousuke then heard the voices of children arguing coming down from the stairs. This must be Makoto's siblings, Sousuke thought. He felt uneasy. He was never really good with children, but he badly wants to get the approval of everyone in Makoto's family.
"Good morning onii-" Ran's froze when she noticed another presence in the dining table. Ren stopped following his sister and hid behind his twin sister.
"Hey you two," Makoto said as he beckoned for them to come closer. "Ran, Ren I want you to meet someone. He arrived last night, but the two of you were already asleep. This is Sousuke, he's my friend. He'll be staying with us for a few days," Makoto said. The way he looked at Sousuke tried to convey his apology. Sousuke smiled back, hoping Makoto would know that he understood.
"Hi…" Ran greeted with a tiny voice.
"Good morning," Sousuke greeted with a smile, trying his best to look approachable.
They sat around the dining table and started having breakfast. Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana asked Sousuke questions about himself to get to know him more. The more Sousuke talked to them, the more he understood how Makoto grew up the way he did. They were kind and very attentive and made him feel right at home. Another thing he was happy about was that they did not make him feel uncomfortable, especially since they were aware of what kind of relationship he and Makoto has.
The twins, for once since Makoto's return (as noticed by Makoto), quietly ate their breakfast, never taking their eyes off of Sousuke from across the table.
Mrs. Tachibana said that she would just go grocery shopping and would be taking Sousuke with her and Makoto was left to take care of his siblings. While he was in his room with the twins, Makoto received a text message from Nagisa saying that he would be coming over with Rei and Gou. Makoto texted his mother and let her know that they may have some guest over for lunch.
When they arrived, they sat around the low table in Makoto's room. Nagisa immediately asked the question that Makoto was dreading of being asked. "What happened last night?"
Makoto sighed, there was not point in hiding the truth from Nagisa. "I didn't realize, all this time, Haru has been in love with me. I feel so bad right now. I didn't even have an idea that he felt like that."
"Oh my god! Really?" Gou said with a gasp.
"That does make things complicated between you and Haru," Rei said with his brows furrowed.
While they quietly thought of what Makoto revealed, Nagisa spoke to Makoto, guilt written all over his face. "I'm sorry Mako-chan. I might have put his hopes up. I told him you missed him, he may have interpreted it differently."
"No, you did nothing wrong. It's true, I do miss him. We just didn't know he felt more than what we know," Makoto said before ruffling Nagisa's hair.
"Have you told Sousuke-kun?" Gou asked.
"About what Haru told me? I did, and now I'm actually regretting it. I might have just made the rift between Sousuke and Haru worse," Makoto said while frowning and pinching the bridge of his nose.
Makoto then heard the front door open and his mom call out from downstairs, "Makoto, we're back."
He excused himself to go help his mom and Sousuke, leaving Rei, Nagisa, and Gou in his room with his siblings.
"Well, someone's trying to impress my family!" Makoto said as he stood beside Sousuke, removing the contents of one of the plastic bags in the kitchen counter.
"Do you think it'll work?" Sousuke asked.
"Of course, I mean it worked for me," Makoto said before stepping placing some of the packed meat in the refrigerator. Makoto then walked back and stood close to Sousuke and whispered, "By the way, Gou's upstairs."
"Are you ok?" Makoto asked when he noticed he smile on Sousuke's face falter. It might have not been a good idea to bring it up.
"Yeah, I can't avoid her forever. I have to talk to her eventually. I still want to be friends with her," Sousuke said.
"That's good. Talk to her later, I'm sure everything will be just fine," Makoto said before he stepped away to get the pan they needed to use.
After lunch, they all went back to Makoto's room to continue the game they were playing with the twins. This time, Sousuke joined them.
Sousuke saw Gou sitting on the floor watching Nagisa and Rei play with the twins. He stepped closer and sat beside Gou, "Hey, do you mind if I sit here?"
Gou giggled and scooted to give him more space, "You didn't need to ask! How have you been?"
"I'm good. How about you? How is Rin doing?" Sousuke asked.
"Oh, you know my brother, always being a drama queen. But he's been staying at Haru's place so we haven't really had the time to talk."
Sousuke sighed and looked straight at Gou. "I'm sorry you had to see what happened last night. I didn't mean to lose my temper like that."
"You did nothing wrong," Gou said as she shook her head. "My brother overreacted, and what he did was uncalled for. But I'm sure everything will work out just right."
Sousuke smiled and nodded. "I'm glad we're talking, Gou."
"So am I. We're still friends, right?" Gou said with a smile. She placed her hand on his arm.
"Of course we are," Sousuke smiled back.
When Nagisa, Rei, and Gou left, Makoto and Sousuke stayed at home to clean up the mess their friends and the twins left. Sousuke saw Makoto looking out the window, as if lost in thought. He then turned to Sousuke and said, "Sousuke, why don't we watch the sunset at the beach?"
Sousuke just smiled and nodded.
They walked quietly side by side by the beach, lost in whatever thought that had occupied their minds. It was one of the little things Sousuke found in their relationship that makes him happy. Sometimes, they would just sit quietly beside each other without talking without the other getting angry. It was one of the signs that told him he was in a good relationship.
"Have you talked to Gou?" Makoto asked as they walk towards the beach
"Yeah, I'm glad she wasn't angry at me." Sousuke sighed, "I wish Gou would have shared a bit of her wisdom and maturity with her brother."
Makoto laughed, "Well I'm sure Rin has his good points."
"Yeah, well after all these years, I'm still trying to look for them," Sousuke said before sitting down on the sand.
Makoto sat beside him, looking at the horizon with a small smile. "The sunset is beautiful," he said. He then turned to look at Sousuke. "Have I told you that I'm afraid of the ocean?"
"I don't think so. Why's that?" Sousuke asked.
Makoto turned his head to look at the sunset again. "It started when a good friend of mine died in the ocean. He was an old, kind man who gave me my pet goldfish. Ever since he died, I've been afraid of ocean, especially when there's a storm."
"For the longest time, that's what I believed in, that I was simply afraid of drowning. But recently, I think it's much more than just fear of dying. The ocean may look so calm, but there are so many things you don't know about it. What's underneath its calm waves? When will it suddenly become turbulent? Where will its waves take you? I thought maybe, I was not only afraid of the ocean, but also of how unpredictable it is, how I don't know a lot of things about it. Maybe that was what I really fear, being helpless and not knowing what to do. Or perhaps I'm looking too much into it," Makoto said with a chuckle.
Sousuke wrapped his arm on Makoto's shoulder and pulled him closer, feeling the other lean his head against his shoulder. He didn't know what would be the right thing to say, so he kissed the top of Makoto's head to show him that he was just there.
Nothing more was said between them. They quietly basked in the beauty of the setting sun and in the comfort of each other's warmth.
Back in Makoto's room, Sousuke folded his laundry and organized his things. He glanced at Makoto who was lying down on his back in bed, stared at the ceiling, seemingly lost in thought. Sousuke's phone vibrated in his pocket, drawing his attention. He read the text message which was from his mother. "My mom's inviting us over for lunch tomorrow. Let's leave early so we can buy desserts in town. I'm finally going to meet my brother," Sousuke said to Makoto.
Makoto turned his head to look at Sousuke, "I didn't know you have a brother. I thought you were an only child."
Sousuke opened an email on his phone and clicked on the attachment to download the image his mother sent him a few months ago. He opened the image. "I was, but not anymore. I just found out about him recently."
Makoto took the phone from him and looked at the picture. "He looks like you! He's so cute, and his cheeks are so chubby."
Sousuke sat beside Makoto in bed and said, "I always thought I looked like my dad."
"But he looks like you! Your eye colors are different, and he doesn't have a frown line between his brows," Makoto said while he handed Sousuke's phone back to him.
"Well, that's good for him then," Sousuke said as he placed his phone beside Makoto's on the night stand.
While stretching his arms and legs, Makoto sighed wistfully and said, "I wonder if we would have kids someday."
Sousuke's brows rose and he stared at Makoto in surprise. "Do you want to have kids?"
"I do. I love kids. I think I'd want to have kids that look like you," Makoto answered as he smiled dreamily.
Makoto's answered made Sousuke's heart swell, it was wonderful to know that Makoto thinks of a future with him. "We'll talk about that someday, ok? And I want our kids to look like you. I don't want to curse them with a semi-permanent scowl that I seem to have," Sousuke said.
Makoto just shrugged his shoulders. "Well I could only dream. I know it's impossible for us."
Sousuke cupped Makoto's face in his hands and said, "Hey, it's not impossible. I'm sure we'll find a way if we really wanted to. But that's a worry for another day. For the meantime, let's go to bed. I'll be sleeping on the futon this time." Before he could stand up to go to the futon, Makoto held his arm and pulled him close, making Sousuke fall on top of him. "Mako?" Sousuke asked.
Makoto responded by pressing his lips against Sousuke's, parting his mouth invitingly. Sousuke was unable to resist Makoto and kissed back, their tongues swirling in a frantic dance. Sousuke savored the sweet and alluring taste that was uniquely Makoto's. He then broke their kiss and pressed soft kisses on Makoto's jawline and licking a spot on Makoto's neck which he knew makes Makoto shiver.
The heat suddenly rose within the bedroom. Sousuke wanted more; he wanted to greedily feel everything from Makoto. While his left arm supported his weight, he slid his other hand within Makoto's shirt, running his hand all over Makoto's torso. The contrast between the smoothness of Makoto's skin and the hardness of his muscles almost drove him crazy. At the same time, he could feel Makoto's hand kneading his backside, as if asking for more. To answer Makoto's unspoken request, he shoved his hips forward and felt Makoto's hardness against his. This action elicited a breathy moan from Makoto. Through their haze of passion, Sousuke could have sworn he heard a door shut, which brought him back to reality and remember where they were, and who might have heard them.
Sousuke pulled away and got off of Makoto with a jerk. "Let's not go further than this," Sousuke said as he tried to catch his breath.
"Huh? Why?" Makoto asked while panting.
"Makoto, we're in your parent's house," Sousuke reminded him. "They trusted me and let us sleep in the same room, and I don't want to break their trust."
Makoto frowned and nodded, sliding under the covers and raising it until only is eyes were showing.
Sousuke stood up and adjusted his pant before closing the lights. When he came back to bed, he noticed that Makoto was lying quietly still in bed facing the wall his back turned to him. He understood if Makoto felt frustrated with the sudden interruption because he felt the same. "Hey, are you angry with me?"
"No. It's just that… I want you, Sousuke," Makoto said, his word muffled by the pillow. "Let's at least sleep together."
Sousuke chuckled and hugged Makoto, his chest against Makoto's back. Hearing that Makoto wanted him definitely helps his ego. "Of course. Let's just wait until we get back to Tokyo, ok? I want you just as bad," Sousuke said before soundly kissing Makoto's nape.