This chapter is a lot sadder than the ones I've written before.. :(

The Inevitable.

It was bound to happen at some point in time. Someone was bound to overpower me, and hurt me to the point of suicide but who knew it would be my target?

Flashback:

When I met my target, he was just in his private booth at the bar. My objective was to of course sleep with him, and get the information that was needed to end his business. He was a terrorist, so we had to go in secretly instead of interrogating him, since terrorists are ALWAYS prepared to die. This particular terrorist liked my kind of girl, so I had to go on this mission, right after being Josephine. Now I'm Sapphire.

I was wearing this extremely short silver dress, that was strapless so I could take it off easier for later, but I hated the dress. It was skanky, and it hit not even an inch under my butt. My shoes were okay though. Not in any way comfortable, but they were okay I guess.

When I walked into the club, I went to the bar to get a drink right before he noticed me.

I didn't expect him to see me so fast, but before I could finish my drink, he was checking me out from afar. He made his way over to me and said, "Who are you?" In a surprised voice. "Who wants to know?"

"I'm Dylan. And you are?"

"No one who you need to know." I put my money down, and he grabbed my wrist, and pulled me into him. "Now, what is your name?"

"Nikita… Now may I leave?"

"I can't let such a beautiful women escort herself out of the club this late. Something might happen to you, so dance with me, and I'll walk you home, sound good?"

"Mmm, no."

"Come on... I promise not to bite." He smiled at me until I finally agreed to dance with him.

We swayed for a while, but when the beat picked up, he began to make me grind against him. His hands were on my hips, and my back was pressed tightly against his chest. I dropped it low, and when I came back up, he began to suck at my neck like a Vampire would, a human. I wanted him to stop before he marked me, so I turned around and captured his lips. He forcefully stuck his tongue in my mouth, and was about to take me right there, so I pulled away, and said, "Do you have a room?" He grabbed my hand, and led me to a hall that led to a private room. He shut the door, and immediately tried to pull up my dress. I stopped him, and asked if he had anything to drink, and he walked to go get some vodka. He poured two glasses, and we toasted. I was about to ask to go to the bathroom to go freshen up when I felt numbness. My whole body went numb after just a few seconds. I looked over at him, and he was smiling. "You know I hate wasting time. You should've just done it the easy way… Now I have to do this the hard way." As he was approaching me, he was taking his belt off. I was panicking. What can I do? I have no backup, I don't know what he gave me, and no com to tell anyone that this creep was about to force me!

He kissed me, and pulled off my dress. Soon he was naked, and sadly so was I. I kept screaming, but with my mouth paralyzed shut, who would hear me? I shut my eyes and in my mind I kept saying things like 'Nooo! This isn't happening! Stop! Please let me go!' But all I could do was deny what was happening to me.

When he was finished with me, I felt numb. I couldn't believe that I was a division agent, and I couldn't defend myself. We were supposed to be invisible to these kinds of things, but honestly, we are all expendable.

He told one of his guards to take me somewhere, and he left. What he didn't know was that the drug was wearing off… I just hoped I had enough time to fully recover from the drug.

As soon as my body was now in my control, my adrenaline kicked in, and I prepared myself to fight the man carrying me to god knows where. He had to sneeze, and I took that opportunity to attack. I wriggled out of his arms, and punched him in the face multiple times. He soon fell to them ground, but I continued punching him. I soon found myself crying, and punching him into unconsciousness. My strength, and adrenaline had left my body only leaving regret, and self loathe. I cried next to the dead body, and couldn't stop. I cried for loosing Michael, for being in Division, for the events that had just occurred, and for every wrong I had committed.

I quickly got myself together, and ran home only wearing my ripped dress, and no underwear.

When I got home, I called Division, and they sent a team to bring me home.

Michael's POV:

I had a bad feeling about Nikita's mission. It seemed like this dude was extremely shady. 'Dylan!' He was probably kissing Nikita as we speak. I quickly cleared my mind of any thought involving her kissing any other man, and started walking to ops to check on the mission.

When I was walking there, the atmosphere seemed to change very negative. Everyone, even the recruits were giving off a very negative vibe. As soon as I saw Amanda, I knew something was wrong. I pulled her into an empty room and asked her what happened. "Michael, I don't know how to tell you this." I already knew who this was about, and her not telling me was starting to urke my nerves. "Amanda, what happened to Nikita!?"

"Michael, her target was not exactly what he was perceived to be. Percy didn't tell us all the details of why he wanted information from this man…" She took a breather, and looked at the ground for the rest of her little story. "He was developing a new drug to temporarily paralyze people for an hour… Well Nikita was his first, patient." It was as if the drug was used on me because I couldn't feel anything. "That's not even the worst part. She was just supposed to get the information! God!.. After he used it on her, he… raped her." My heart started beating fast with rage! HOW THE HELLL COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED! This is my fault! If I hadn't broken her heart, she would've been in a better state of mind. I should have been there to protect her. She needed me, and I just turned my back on her. I've seen her depressed but this, this could break her… Completely.

Nikita's POV,
Present day:

Everything was moving so fast. One minute I'm in an airplane, the next minute I'm walking into Division. I wasn't fully focused since I was replaying the scenes in was mind of what just happened. The hunger in his eyes was outrageous. His pleasure was disgusting. The way I felt? Dead, not myself, no hope, no happiness… No future.

As the squad escorted me down the halls, I began to focus my eyes again. I was in he training room, and all the recruits were focused on me. I'm guessing somehow they know. Which means everyone knows. Birkhoff, Michael, Noel.

I wonder if they'll cancel me. To be honest, at this point, all I want to do is die. This world has nothing left to offer me. I work at a job where they've ruined my life and faked my death, the love of my life broke up with me, my best friend has a crush on me… What isn't crazy about my life, and it's all because of this place.

We finally made it to Amanda's office, and she looked like she actually cared about my well being. They let me go and shut the door on their way out. Amanda looked behind me and said, "You have 10 minutes." Then she walked past me and out the door. I didn't turn around because I was still in a daze. "Nikita." I looked forward, and there stood Michael. "I am soo sorry! I shouldv'e been there to protect you… I never meant for any of this to happen! I'm so sorry! This is all of my fault!" He hugged me to hard, and I just let him. I just didn't have the energy to push him away. "Nikita, when I relocate this guy, I will kill him… Believe me." He was starting to get mad, but all I could think about was him killing Dylan. I silently muttered, "I wish you would kill me." He let go of me and looked into my teary eyes. "Nikita don't say that! You cannot give up on your life because of this rapist!" I finally started to focus all the way, and replied. "Well why not Michael? My life has been a living hell every single day! My parents giving me up, to my foster parents taking every ounce of happiness I had and throwing it away, to me getting on drugs, then when I finally get back to a normal life of happiness, I'm put in here to kill, to…. Whore my way around these filthy men, and then you… You gave me happiness and pulled it away. I tried to live with it, but I have nothing, NOTHING left to live for!" I was crying so hard, all I could feel was wetness on my face, and him hugging me. His shirt became wet right away, and I don't think he cared.

When I was fully done crying, he looked me in the eyes, and told me something that I'd been wanting to hear. "Nikita, I want to be with you… You have no idea how hard it is to not be with you, but I have some unfinished business that I can't finish if I'm with you." Amanda walked in before I could reply and said, "That's enough." Michael looked at me in a disappointed face, and left the room.

Amanda tried to ease my pain, but I knew from experience that only time could make this feeling go away.

I headed home, and as soon as I closed the door, I headed for the shower. I hadn't gotten the chance to clean off his scent so I needed to do so now. When the water hit my body, it felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I looked at my body and there were bruises everywhere. Pink, blue, purple, all over my body. There was even a hicky on my neck. After my body recovers, my mind, and my heart will still be in pain. I just wish all the scars left all together.

When I got in my bed, I hugged my pillow as if my life depended on it and again, cried myself to sleep.

In the morning I felt completely different. No longer was I a sad victim, but a women with a stubborn attitude, a stronger person, and one who shall no longer shed tears. I will work harder, train harder, and try to keep my humanity at the same time, if it's possible.

Division was quiet as soon as I walked through its doors. Recruits all looked at me like, 'oh my gosh what is she doing here?' I don't fully blame them. I didn't think I'd be strong enough to come in this early but I guess I can still surprise myself.

I went to nerd's office to hang out with an old friend only to remember why I gave him that nickname. All he talked about was shadownet, and how fast he can hack. "Bye Birkhoff." I had to leave before I blew my ears off. "Whatever Nikki! Someday you're gonna need shadownet, and we won't be able to help you!" I chuckled and exited the room. I went to Amanda's to see if I could do any field work, and she told me there was a mission, but that I should cool it for a while.

A month Later:

I'm going on an overseas mission to retrieve a flash drive holding information on the people who hold military weapons, and are planning an act of terror. I had to flirt with this man, and act as if I liked him only for a few hours. Nothing more. I was about to leave when Noel stopped me. "Nikita, I was looking for you."

"Noel, I'm in a rush. I swear I'll call you when I land." He just stopped, and watched me walk out of Division.

When I landed I called him, and we talked the whole way to my hotel room. We said our goodbye's and I got ready for tonight's events.

I had tried to zip up my dress, but it would not go up. I was stuck. I was checking myself out in the mirror when I heard a knock at the door.

I grabbed my gun, and opened the door only to reveal Michael on the other side of it. "Michael, hi." He stepped into the room, looking absolutely handsome, but I kept that to myself. "What are you doing here?"

"Percy thought that a lovely women like yourself wouldn't go to a gala without a date, so here I am."

"Percy thought?"

"Yeah"

"Well since you're here, I need help… I'm stuck." We both smiled, and I turned around so he could zip me up. "So I guess this counts as our first overseas mission together."

"I guess so."

"It feels different. No big Division eye, watching over us." He cut me off.

"I'm the big Division eye." I faced him, when he was done with my zipper, and said. " Then how do I look?"

He smiled and said. "Perfect."

That made me smile very wide. His compliments always made me happier. "Good answer," Then I walked close to him, "You can surprise me anytime." Then I exited the room, knowing he was right behind me. We headed towards the gala, and when we reached the doorway, he put his hand on my waist.

We walked in and everyone was staring at us. The guys, at me and the girls, at him. I saw our target eyeing us, so we made our way to the bar. Our target appeared, and as I was about to ask him a question, he started talking to Michael.

As we were talking to him, I realized he was eyeing Michael more than me. That's when I realized he doesn't like girls. Him and Michael walked away deep in conversation, and I made my way up to his room to retrieve the flash drive.

It was easy enough getting the flash drive, and I made my way back to Michael to rescue him from our target getting to touchy with Michael. I laughed at my sudden jealousy of Michael getting our targets attention.

We were back at the room, and we busted out laughing at the fact that Birkhoff hadn't caught the fact that our target wasn't into women. "When did you figure out?"

"When he was paying more attention to you then he was to me."

"Well, I do make an excellent honey trap."

"Michael, you could've kept him distracted a little longer."

"A little longer and I'd have to shoot him." I giggled at his homophobia.

"Did you get it?"

"Oh of course… All in one piece."

"Great."

"Unlike my ego," I stumbled on my shoes, and he caught me, as always. Our faces became centimeters apart as he took off my shoes. "Nikita, the man is gay."

"So…" Then he looked into my eyes. "You know what, you're right… You do make an excellent honey trap." He smiled, then we both eyed each others lips. He moved up, as I moved down, and we began to kiss. He put his hand on my face, and mine went to his shoulders. We both moved so that I was laying on the bed, and he was on top of my. We were making out for the first time in a few months. Our tongues dancing in a sort of tango. I began to undo his tie, when he pulled away. Here we go again, I thought. We were both breathing hard, and he lowered his face to my chest and whispered, "I can't"

"Michael," I whispered back, "we're in the middle of nowhere."

"It's not about that," He moved off of me, and I was so confused. "It's not about Division, it's not about… you. It's about my wife." Say what? He has a wife? Well I don't know everything about him, but was he cheating on her, or me? I blinked and said, "Your what?"

"My daughter." His face got serious at the mention of them. I didn't know he had a kid. This is all so crazy. "You're married and you have a daughter?"

"No, no I-I did… They're gone… They were killed in a car bomb March 21st 2001." I felt so bad... His whole family was killed by a car bomb? My immediate thought was it was definitely no accident. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Nobody knows… Only, Percy and Amanda… Now you." He looked sad until his next statement. Then he got mad. "And Kasim."

"Kasim Tariq?"

"Before 2001 Kasim wasn't a famous terrorist, he was a low-level snitch. And all that changed when he betrayed me. After he killed my family, and became a hero, I was Alkida. That's the reason I joined Division… To find him. And until I kill him I can't, move forward." He finally looked me in the eyes, and for the first time since our relationship ended, I saw truth. I finally knew why he couldn't be with me. Or so I thought.

The next morning, I acted as if nothing had happened. Michael, on the other hand kept looking at me weird. "What?"

"I thought after all the things I'd said to you to push you away, you'd hate me. It's just nice to know you still care about me." I didn't like him bringing up things like that, so I tried to rush out of the room, but he of course had other plans. "Nikita, please don't do this. I just want to be around you. I still care about you too, and I just want to be around you. I need to be around you." I understood where he was coming from, but it didn't mean that I would let him treat me any kind of way. "Nikita, would you go on a walk with me? We do have 2 days until we have to go back."

"Is there a beach nearby?" He smiled and told me to get ready.

While we were walking, he took my hand in his. He was really confusing me with his revelation, and then his affection towards me, I'm not sure whether to be romantic back, or to put a wall between us, but either way, it was nice being around him again.

We finally made it to the beach, and as I took my clothes off revealing my red bikini, Michael's eyes widened in attraction. I couldn't help but do the same when I saw his abs. They had gotten bigger since the last time I'd seen them.

We were walking near the shore when I heard my name being called. "Nikita?"

I looked back to see my old best friend wide-eyed at me being alive. "Ilse?"

What now? Are they going to tell her how Nikita's alive?

Spoiler Alert: Don't believe that Nikita can wait forever for Michael to make up his mind about what he wants. Nikita will be dating Daniel.