Wiping away the blood still stained on his nose, Snake continued to search for some source of food.
"Gods we must have been searching for a couple hours looking for a decent place to eat but there doesn't seem to be anything here except for that gluten-free restaurant back there but I mean… I want GOOD food, you know?" Snake said driving down the barren roads of the Urlun Star.
"Of course, Captain!" The Blue Falcon responded in its usual fashion. Turning the corner, a pack of Waddle Dees could be seen carrying food out of a group of shops in large armfuls, hurrying along to presumably the same destination.
"Oh nice, some kind of cookout I see! I can fly with that type of meal!" Snake said parking the car.
"Excuse me mister, but what might all this food be heading to?" Snake asked one of the Waddle Dees carrying a couple baskets of baked goods in his arms.
"This is for our lordship, he finally came back into town you see! The whole town is loading up their ship in hopes for their save travels!"
The Waddle Dee said following the same route all the others were taking to the bouquet.
"Whoa whoa, this is all for one dude?!" Snake said staring enviously at the copious amounts of food going away from him.
"You don't think you could, you know, hook a traveler up with a couple pieces of that Maximum Tomato?" Snake said reaching for the delicious fruit.
"HANDS OFF!" The Waddle Dee yelled slapping his prying arm away, thus making all the food in his hand fall to the ground.
"Great! Look what you have done to our lord's food! You should be ashamed of yourself!" The Waddle Dee yelled as others began to stop and witness the events unfolding before them.
"Look little guy, all I wanted was one! You're not feeding fucking King K. Rool or something!" Snake yelled back still staring intently at the fallen food. Looking up quickly at the furious Waddle Dee then back down at the fallen food, Snake quickly snatched a crate full of food from the ground and began running back to the car.
"COMPUTER! WE NEED TO GO NOW! START THE CAR!" Snake shouted sprinting away from the Waddle Dee's probable glare. Glancing behind him, he noticed that he wasn't only receiving a glare, but more Waddle Dees started to yell at the mercenary until one of them threw a spear his way.
"GET HIM!" One of the Waddle Dee's shouted chasing after the thief.
"Damnit!" Snake said juggling the food in one hand as he reached for a grenade with his other. He quickly pulled back the pin and threw it behind him, turning around to ensure it hit.
BAM!
Tens of Waddle Dees flipped up into the air. As Snake laughed to himself, he turned around to get into his car but to his dismay he was then surrounded by pestered Waddle Dees.
"So you want to play that game with me, huh?" Snake said putting the crate down and loading up an RPG shot.
"KILL THE THIEF!" One of the Waddle Dees yelled. All in unison, the swarm of blobs jumped onto the invader at full force. Snake slammed to the ground from the sheer number of them.
"Shit!" Snake yelled trying to reach for his RPG but to no avail. Snake groaned and pushed his body as hard as he could. Gritting his teeth, he pushed the hoard off of him and went on the attack punching one Waddle Dee after the other. As his fists connected to each one he realized how weak his adversaries were.
"God these losers make it seem like I'm beating up a band of pillows!" Snake thought to himself as he tossed another grenade into the endless flow of Waddle Dees approaching him. It seemed like an infinite number of them were gunning for Snake.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Snake yelled chucking grenade after grenade into the sea of red foes.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
"What in the hell is going on over there?" Palutena said loading up the Sky Goddess with crates of food and supplies.
"Beats me!" Villager said keeping the oncoming showers of Waddle Dee bodies from hitting both him and Palutena.
"Computer!" Snake yelled still pile driving Waddle Dees into the ground. "Come over to me, we got to get the hell out of here, I'm running out of grenades!"
"Of course, Captain!" The ship bellowed, popping up from the ground, it made it's way over to Snake, flattening everything in its path.
"Ready, Captain!" The ship said opening up the cockpit for his master in peril.
"Let's roll!" Snake yelled pounding his way to the car with his crate of food now back in his hand. Jumping into the car and closing the cockpit, Snake sped out of the area as fast as possible.
"Well that… Wasn't worth it at all." Snake grumbled cracking his back. Just as they seemed in the clear, a loud rumble befell near the Blue Falcon. Looking up, Snake caught a glimpse of the culprit; it was Wolf's Landmaster taking off. Hoping to catch a glimpse of the heartthrob he had seen before, Snake pulled out his binoculars to see the very same green haired woman piloting the ship.
"You see that computer? That right there proves there still is some good left in this torn up world…" Snake said gazing upon the Goddess and all her majesty.
"Where might be your next destination sir?" The computer asked.
"I need a break, computer. But something is still bugging me though." Snake said trailing the slow going spaceship. "That's Wolf's Landmaster, Master Hand now is in control of his Landmaster now that he's retired from Smash. That being said, that means there's probably smashers in there, yes, smashers I have never seen, but smashers none the less." Snake said stroking his 5 o'clock shadow.
"Well what are you saying, sir?" The computer replied.
"I'm saying something must be wrong in the universe for Fingers to be sending Smashers outside the mansion. Especially just as a new game was announced too." Snake said to himself. "It may be for the best if I put a tracking chip on them in case something truly goes wrong." Snake said opening up the cockpit door.
"That's creepy, sir…" The computer said still lagging behind the smasher's ship.
"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Snake yelled down at the dashboard as he loaded one of his tracking chips into his gun. The mercenary took aim and fired at the cargo bay area, hoping they wouldn't notice it inside the ship.
BAM!
Snake quickly checked his watch to see if the device had stuck and fortunately the plan was successful. Putting in the coordinates of the tracking chip into his watch, Snake was now able to see where the ship was at all times in case of danger.
"I may be retired." Snake thought to himself. "But if my hunch is correct, those goons I encountered back Luigi's mansion may not be as little of a threat as I imagined before." Snake closed the cockpit and took back his place in the driver's seat.
"Pardon me sir, you never answered my first question, where might be our next destination?" The computer asked.
"Beats me, I think I need a vacation computer. I've been fighting far too long and far too often without a break to function anymore. Computer, GPS me a place to lay low for awhile so I can work on my tan while this thing blows over." Snake said closing his eyes and smiling at the thought of an actual vacation.
"It seems if we take the warp zone back to the Mushroom Kingdom, we could take a detour to Isle Delfino where you could 'lay low,' as you say." The computer said.
"Perfect! Although we might have to run over some more of those little blobs again… Even better!" Snake turned around the Blue Falcon as the aircraft behind them warped away from the vicinity. Returning to the town, some of the Waddle Dees were still trying to get up as the ship plowed through them again, Snake even swerved from their course in order to hit some of them.
"God I love this place!" Snake yelled as the Blue Falcon jumped through the warp zone.
"Next stop: An actual break!" The mercenary said leaning back in his chair. Isle Delfino was only a couple minutes away!
Fin
AN: I might at a little extra chapter aside from the plot on Snake's fun at Isle Delfino but as the story goes, there is in fact evil out there… Sorry Snake, no long vacation for you!