It took Kai exactly one week to admit to himself his tactical evasion of all people he didn't have the courage to face was not going very well.

After the meet he couldn't bring himself to stop by the bookstore. He knew that when she would look at him there would be a huge rush of guilt. He'd probably say something he wasn't supposed to—his mind to mouth filter wasn't always at its best around her even when there wasn't a dirty lie bouncing around his skull—and this time it would have much greater consequences.

It wasn't like she had seen Skoochy or Shady Shin but all it had taken was that one vague question from her at the meet– what's wrong— to have him scrambling to form some kind of reply that didn't reveal too much. Jinora had a very compelling quality about her—one that made it practically a crime to lie to her. On the ride back on the charter bus, Kai almost threw up again when he realized it had been the first time he had done it.

And if he saw her again, it probably wouldn't be the last.

But this lack of closure was driving him mad. Neither was he sure if he even wanted closure. He didn't know what it was supposed to mean. If it meant a mutual agreement to ending whatever they had been—what had they even been—this aggravating sense of unfulfillment would definitely be better in the long run. Better to remember that somehow, someway, he might have had a chance. A heart to heart with Jinora about why he was entirely inadequate for her was not top of his list of things he wanted to do. Ever. And yet still he was constantly compelled to walk under the tree he had found her in or just to stop by the humanities center on the off chance she was there. Somehow, the consequences that he knew would come were too much and there was too little he could truthfully say.

Skoochy was another problem entirely. It actually turned out to be very difficult avoiding someone you were living with. Skoochy had classes at strange times so Kai used the golden hours Skoochy spent in lectures to run in their cramped dorm, gobble down some food, grab whatever he needed for the day or night, and get the hell out of there. It was a good strategy but the lumpy couch in Mako and Bolin's dorm wasn't exactly ideal. He started getting cricks in his neck and the brothers were increasingly bewildered by the lengths he was going to in order to get in their dorm. One night they had been out, Kai had to scale the outside of the building to find their window. It wasn't very easy because all the windows were practically identical.

Kai was slowly becoming a mess. It was all futile, he knew that. If they really did have a job for him he'd have known by now. It was much more likely that they were still planning something and they'd wanted to give him a heads up so he'd be less surprised (or resistant) when the time came. That knowledge didn't help him but no way was he going to sit around waiting and pretending nothing was wrong.

That week he found that the regular cross country practices weren't enough to relieve the tension. There was electricity from unease vibrating in his body. He needed to let it out before it shook him to pieces. He started going on his own runs. They were usually at night a few hours before his last class. He'd set out off the campus, pounding up and down the concrete of Republic City with no guide except instinct and memory. If Bumi found out that he was running on surfaces like concrete extensively, Kai would be a tanned hide. It was nice to have the most rebellious part of his life be extra running. He wanted to cling to the feeling.

He would find himself in the seedier areas of the city where eyes watched him guardedly from sidewalks and doorways as if to say you don't belong here. Not in those fancy workout clothes. Not if you're running for the pure fun of it. As much as Kai wanted to believe them, the old ways he took through alleys and side streets were just as familiar and easy to find and so were the instincts when he heard shouting or swearing behind him. It was like riding a bike, he'd think bitterly on the runs, his shoes getting soaked in the rotting slush from the street gutters. You never really forget.

The eighth night of it, Mako had finally had enough. Kai stood up after lacing on his quickly deteriorating Nikes and Mako clamped a firm hand on his shoulder, pressing him back down into the chair. Kai groaned as Mako pulled another chair up with a screech across from him. Kai knew he had been pushing his luck and they'd ask him what this was all about sometime, but he'd been hoping that it would be later rather than sooner.

"So what's up, Champ?"

Mako used the name Korra called him at the meet and Kai scowled at the unpleasant, blurry memory. "Nothing's up. I'm just feeling kind of antsy."

Mako snorted and tilted his head, giving Kai an examining look. Kai couldn't help but wonder if Mako recently had lasers installed in his pupils. "Did you have a fight with your roommate?"

Kai shook his head no. Well, there was probably a fight coming but Mako didn't have to know that. "School is just getting kind of rough."

Mako nodded slowly, digesting this and obviously trying to figure out what it meant. "You having trouble with friends?"

"No."

"Trouble with theatre?"

"No."

"Trouble with girls?"

At that Kai stumbled over his words, not quite able to get the no out fast enough for it to be believable. His face heated and Mako's eyes gleamed at the discovery.

"Is it Jinora? Did you guys get in some kind of fight?"

Kai glared, shifting further back into the wooden kitchen chair. "No, of course not."

"Did she break up with you?"

"No," Kai snapped. "We weren't even dating."

Mako's eyebrows raised and he put his hands up, leaning back from the hostility Kai was projecting. "Look, I'm just trying to figure out what's up so I can help. Do you want any girl advice?"

Kai tried to casually put a hand on the table so he could drum his frustration out with his fingers. Mako's eyes followed the hand and Kai mentally swore. Nothing ever got by Mako. At least he hadn't hit on the real problem—let him believe the only mess to fix was Kai's love life. A week ago that had been true.

"It's complicated," he finally said.

Mako laughed and rested his hands on his knees. "Kai, Korra and I were the definition of complicated. I'll take anything you can shoot."

Suddenly he lost control of his tongue. "I'm here on need-based scholarship and she's here on merit-based scholarship."

Mako's eyes darkened when Kai let the knowledge that had been gnawing at his consciousness loose. It was instantly a relief to acknowledge what he had kept shoving away—even if the relief was accompanied by the hot rush of shame. He probably would have kept shoving it all away if Shady Shin hadn't popped up at the meet.

"Alright," Mako said, speaking slowly. "And what does that mean to you?"

"It means…" Kai faded off, not quite sure what it meant.

Mako crossed his arms. "You gave me a fact just now. The school records could have told me that. What is that information supposed to tell me about how you're feeling?"

Kai stared at the tile and for the second time that night words came out of his mouth without his consent. "It means she's better than me."

"Wrong."

Kai's eyes flashed to Mako who suddenly looked very fierce. "Kai, I don't want to hear that. Coming from the streets doesn't make you worth any more or less than any of the other students or anyone else for that matter. It's easy to feel that way, but you know what that is? That's self pity. You're better than that. If you think that way people are going to sense it on you and then they're really going to treat you like they're up on some pedestal. You can't put them on that pedestal, Kai."

When Mako finished Kai's eyes were far too wet to be comfortable and the shame seemed to have found its way to his throat. "Mako, I hate it. I hated it there."

Mako stood from his chair and pulled Kai up into a tight hug, crushing the air from his lungs. "We all did. We're out now."

Kai nodded when all he really wanted to do was shake his head in an emphatic and almost furious no.

Mako decided to go on the run with Kai. They didn't take the route through the slums Kai had been straying near. Instead, they ran around the campus parks under the old oaks planted by the founders of the school. Kai spent the whole time trying to figure out how to explain to Mako that he wasn't out yet and that he had a horrible feeling that he never would be.

So I scrapped the other chapter that made me emotional. It was too out of place with no build up. Have this Mako time instead!

I might update this weekend? No promises but definitely the next one.