Ch 10

Michaela was seated at the big oval table. She was at a case conference with her other colleagues. The head of the department held them monthly to see that the entire veteran's were receiving the best care.

"Well Mike, your turn," the head Doctor Bernard said.

She had the pile of files in the order she wanted to present them.

"Private Slicker has joined Alcoholics Anonymous and taken the twelve step program. He has been paired with another man from his unit who will be his contact if he wants to drink again.

Mid Shipman Lawson unfortunately has bought a bar called the Golden Nugget, and it has a poker room. I fear he will not stop his gambling habit.

Private Myra has been in the half way house and she is receiving assistance. Hopefully she has kicked the game.

Sergeant Sully..." Saying his name was met with sniggers around the table as each of the staff had tried to get through to this client without success, and many were jealous she had managed.

With a more determined voice she repeated, "Sergeant Sully is now slowly responding to visits. He has a small companion, a pup, and this has helped as he has to think of looking after the animal also." She was not going to add that the dog came from Brian.

Looks of amazement were on the faces of the others.

"Good work, keep it up with Sully. It seems a little unorthodox but if it is working, keep going," Dr Bernard advised.

A few others went through their cases to, and the meeting was ended.

Michaela heard whispers from the males that she was a woman and maybe Sully needed someone. She exited the room before she responded to their comments. She did not want them to know she was treating him in his home, fuelling more gossip.

...

The next few days were exceptionally hard. Work, the children were going to go camping and then, to top it all off, her washing machine broke down and flooded the laundry.

Her nerves rattled as she decided to go and see Sully and escape the office.

Climbing the stairs she was surprised when the door was open before she got there. Sully was leaning on the door frame and Wolf seated obediently beside him.

Looking up she noted he was smiling as he said, "I have the kettle on."

"Oh, do I need that," Michaela sighed silently, entering the house and flopping in the welcoming arm chair.

Sully disappeared into the kitchen, returning with the two cups of coffee. Placing them on the coffee table he looked at her and noted wisps of hair where falling out of her hair-do. She looked tired, and the way she sat was not at ease as she had been before.

"Wanna tell me what is wrong?" he asked in a concerned tone.

"Never mind, we are not going to be discussing me," she responded.

Sully was already looking forward to her visits and therefore he knew something was bothering her and attempted again. "Maybe I can help," he volunteered.

"Nobody can help." she answered somewhat defeated. "I was up all night washing clothes by hand and then drying them. The kids are all on camp over the long weekend and my washing machine has died. I can't afford another." She was so surprised with herself she blushed a bright red. Then in a small voice she said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to off load my problems."

Taking her hand he gave it a squeeze and offered, "Don' be sorry, I am glad you told me."He had an engaging smile that she reciprocated.

Sipping the coffee in silence they glanced at each other.

"Sully, it is time you continued with your story," she finally mentioned.

Taking a long drawn out breath he sat silent a moment while his memories resurfaced.

"Yeah. I said my mother had depression, is that what I have?"

The question floored her as she was not expecting him to have thought anymore about it. As she was already looking at him for his reaction she watched as his sad eyes moved to hers. His eyes were dark like a stormy ocean. Sad, heartbreaking, lonely and abandoned like the small boy left all alone. She moved from the chair to sit at his feet and held his securely clasped hands, the knuckled bleached white.

Watching his eyes she knew once again he was trusting her to catch him if he fell, as he travelled back in time to just one of those moments he wished he had never experienced.

"I was supposed to be going to school, but forgot my sports gear. Mum had been really bad for a couple of days. The doctor had given her some tablets but I found them in the bin. In a way I was thankful as I did fear she would just take the lot."

Michaela flinched, wondering how a small boy could have thought of that.

"As I came around the corner she came out of the front door. She was still in her night dress. I hid, so she didn't see me; she just walked by and never knew I was there. How could she do that, not even sense I was watching?"

He paused in his story. Michaela came up on her knees and taking a hand away she brushed a stray lock of hair back behind his ear. This small action brought him back to her; she sat down again and went back to holding his clasped hands. He unwound them and wound them back with hers trapped there.

"She never saw me. Her steps were taking her to the Hudson River. She did not swim."

He was becoming distressed and she wondered if she should stop him, but knew it would only delay his recovery.

"She could not swim but still headed for the river. She hated the river; father worked on the river."He stopped there only for a brief minute then continued. "She walked along the shore for a bit, people on boats told her to go home."

Looking at her he asked, "Why didn't she go home? She had me, but I wasn't good enough... she walked onto the bridge and walked half way across. I didn't follow; I didn't want her to see me... then ...then she just climbed up on the railing and jumped... I called to her not to... I don' know if she heard...I got to the spot but there was only a whirl pool where she disappeared."

Softly he said, "A boat picked her up; by then a policeman had come and took me to the shore...I had to identify her... Michaela, she was so cold and grey."

"They put me in a horrid home and I finally ran away."

He stood and lay down like he had the other day pulling her with him.

Tears flowed quite freely now, he rested his head on her lap and cried warm tears soaking her light dress. Like before she ran her fingers through his long hair.

She had held him before and he wanted to feel those same feelings, of being secure, protected and safe.