Authors Notes: Again extra big thanks from my side goes to great beta reader voltagelisa who polished this chapter. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Also thank you for reviews. They make me feel all fuzzy inside and fuzzy is good because fuzzy means that I write.
Kiki Aries: Agreed. Even if character is totally loathsome it has its uses, like for example Udina. I love to hate that guy. I am glad that you will follow it, now I just need to get it to the end, slowly.
Sever-Black: When I played the game I soooooo wished for such option in there. I had the scene in my mind from then on, actually even dreamed it. So hey, thanks! I am very glad that you liked it!
And now without further ado, the second part of chapter 4 with some Jacob and loads of Thane. Hope you will like it. Either way let me know what you think if you have time...
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Chapter 4: PAINT ME A MEMORY Pt.2
Shepard left the empty cups with Sergeant Gardner and reluctantly walked to Armory where Jacob awaited her. When she first boarded the new Normandy, she initially started flirt a bit with Jacob, just to feel like a living woman other than a cyborg-human that Cerberus made of her, but her flirting had created an awkward situation that had her feeling weird about it. It was partly her fault as she was using the lines that could easily fit in some of the worst gangster movies from Earths 19 century. What the hell was I thinking! The worst part however was, that Jacob instead of taking it as casual flirting, he became quite interested and wanted to slowly push things further. What the hell will I do with him now? She would eventually turn him down, slowly over the course of time, but that "slow" part was problematic to her. It seems Jacob has interpreted their flirting as a sign that he can speak freely every time they talked and even voice his opinions on the matters that were of no concern of his whatsoever. If this continues, then his jaw will meet my fist. Angie braced herself for another set of bad lines that was very annoying flirting now.
"You wanted to speak with me?" She asked, watching Jacob pace around like he had fire ants in his pants. That thought almost made her burst out laugh.
"Thank you for coming to see me so soon," Jacob seemed stressed. "I need to ask a favor…"
Here we go, Angie already felt annoyed but decided to be kind regardless: "What do you need?"
Jacob paced once more, stopping in front of a table, a sigh leaving him as he leaned against the table his hands supporting him with his head bowed. "It is about my father…," he muttered. Shepard watched him as he took a deep breath; concern and curiosity had her holding her silence for now. Jacob raised his head and met her eye, there was a wealth of emotions in his eyes, most she didn't have a name for but one, she knew for sure and that was confusion. "He was first officer on privately held frigate Hugo Gernsback. It went missing ten years ago…" Jacob trailed off.
"Oh, I didn't know that. I am sorry, Jacob," she was surprised.
"No need. We were not on the best terms and I accepted the fact that he is dead, but now…" his fists clenched as a scowl passed over his face. "Somebody passed a message about a distress call from that ship to my personal log through Cerberus filters."
"And you think he might still be alive," Angie concluded.
"No, I don't, I doubt that he is. But I would still like to investigate it if we have the time." He paused for a moment hoping she would understand. "You know, to get some… closure."
"I understand. Give coordinates to Joker. We will head there ASAP," she nodded.
"Thank you Shepard. I will be here in case you have need of me," his voice became softer. Angie just nodded to him and left him alone. This was the first 'normal' conversation she had with him in a long time and she wasn't inclined to push her luck with staying longer. She stopped at Gardner, grabbing a cup of coffee and tea and then made her way back to Life Support.
… … … … …
Angie walked over to the table, placing the cup of tea before Thane and sat down in the seat she had vacated earlier. Thane didn't give a sign that he had notice her arrival, his eyes were still closed, elbows placed on the table, hands clasped together. Angie took a sip and quietly observed him while he meditated. She didn't want to disturb him, but she also didn't want to just get up and leave. While she waited she mapped the lines of his face, from black pentagon shape on his forehead, to the red frills that lined the side of his face and down his neck. She continued her exploration to his well-defined strong chin, all the way to his full lips, hinted with peach-pink on its apple green. He doesn't look bad…, she thought to herself… for a lizard. She fought hard to repress a laugh that threatened to escape her throat. Angie regained her seriousness as soon as she noticed two deep black pools looking intensely at her.
"I… uh… sorry…" she staggered before regaining control over her voice: "I brought you tea, as we discussed, but I didn't wanted to disturb you as you seemed not to notice me."
"I knew you were here," he answered simply. "Thank you for the tea," he offered her a small, brief smile. Even if I would not have heard the door hiss open, I would have known of her presence by the roses in air… he thought as he took a sip of the tea that she brought.
"What is that tea that you are drinking anyhow? It smells something similar to mint, berries and apples," she inquired.
"It is similar, yes. Made from herbs native to Khaje," he nodded and tilted his head before asking, "do you wish to try some?"
"Actually I would," she answered with a small smile.
He offered her his cup and she accepted, their hands lightly brushing together for one quick moment, but it was a moment that both of them noticed. Angie blush just tiny bit at acknowledgement and Thane's frills became a slightly lighter shade of red. None of them said anything. Angie brought his cup to her lips, draw a deep breath to scent the aroma and took a tiny sip. Her lips stretched into a smile of pleasure as the sweet taste of tea teased hers taste buds. "This is delicious."
"It pleases me that it is to your liking." He murmured as the corner of his lips tug into a smile: "I brought large enough stock of it and gave it to Gardner for keeping when I came aboard. I would be happy to share it with you, if you would wish so."
"Thank you Mr. Krios, I might just hold you on that offer," she answered her smile still in place. She took another sip of the tea before returning the cup to him.
"Please, just Thane," he told to her quietly as he accepted his cup back. Angie nodded in acceptance. "May I ask, what is this 'coffee' that you are drinking?" he asked, tilting his head slightly.
"Oh, just something from Earth that helps keeping me awake. It is not as sweet as your tea and definitely a lot bitter. Would you want to try some?" she asked, offering him her cup.
"I wouldn't mind if I do," he answered and did exactly the same as she did before with his tea. Low rumble escaped his throat, as he tasted the black liquid. "Quite delicious," he murmured, taking another sip of coffee before returning the cup to Shepard, their hands met for a brief second once again.
"If you would fancy yourself a cup of coffee here and there, feel free to ask Gardner to make you one. We have gigantic stock of it due to my obsession with it," she laughed lightheartedly.
It is shame she doesn't laugh like that more… it is quite pleasant to hear, Thane thought as they both fell silent for a bit.
"If you don't mind me saying, you don't really seem like an assassin," she suddenly said, but as soon as the words left her mouth she knew, that it didn't ring true, he definitely did look dangerous enough to be one.
"You spent too much time fighting thugs who thinks custom painted armor makes them professionals," he smirked.
"My armor is custom painted." She said as a matter of fact, "Are you implying that I am a thug?" her voice faking offence, a challenge in her eyes.
Thane noticed her pretense and accepted the challenge, smiling slightly, "I would never dared such insolence," he answered exaggeratedly, took her hand in his and looked seriously in her eyes: "Your skill speaks volumes of your professionalism," he blinked and let go of her hand as he realized that he is holding her hands still.
Angie was confounded by his action, gently pulling both of her hands off the table and letting them rest on her lap, "Indeed…"
He shook his head and sighed: "The hanar trained my body for an assassin's role since I was six years old," he offered as explanation of her previous statement.
"You have been killing since you were six?" she exclaimed, her eyes widened in disbelief.
"Of course not," he shook his head dignified, "I did my first kill when I was 12. They were training me." He clenched his hands together on the table. "I was not to be used and thrown away. I was an investment to them." He stated succinctly.
"You were a child, not and investment!" Shepard snapped indignation ringing loudly in her voice.
"I have given you the wrong idea," he dismissed. "They valued me, yes, as a resource, but also as a person. They… regretted their need for me," he offered as an excuse.
"Just regretting something does not change the fact that their actions are wrong," she rebuked, shaking her head. "Why did your parents agree to this?" she reprimand.
"The agreement was made under The Compact. It was an honor for my family," he explained.
"The Compact?"
"We live on the hanar homeworld because they rescued us – some of us - from extinction. We owe them our lives. That is The Compact," he said as a matter of fact.
"What exactly are the terms of this…Compact?" She queried.
"There are many things that hanar can't do, even with mechanical aid. They asked drell to assist them."
"This can't be legal. They made your whole race into slaves!" she was outraged.
"Do not insult me, Shepard!" his voice dark and dangerous almost made Angie gasp for air and seek cover. "Anyone can refuse to serve. Few do. We owe our existence to the hanar. We are proud to repay the dept," he spoke haughtily.
"Forgive me, I didn't meant to offend," she said quietly.
"Of course not," he offered. "Our cultures see things differently. We need to try and understand each other," he gave her a small smile.
"Indeed," she nodded and thought for a bit before breaking the silence that had settled for a few moments. "The hanar are excessively polite and worship the Protheans. They don't seem like the type who would train assassins.
"Every species trains assassins. The hanar are only unusual in that they need other species to do the killing for them. They have a strong grip and natural toxins. But have you ever seen one move quickly outside of water or fire a gun?" he asked.
"No, I haven't," she admitted and continued carefully, "but the way you describe them, they seem a bit weak… no offense meant."
Thane nodded in understanding: "Out here they are, but if you could see them in the Encompassing –the ocean of Khaje- you would see them differently." Thane's eyes unfocused, he spoke softly, quickly, "A stream of silver in the dark. Looping, diving. So fast that the eyes can't follow. Laughter like squeals of a child vibrates the water. They fly over the black of the sea bed, like birds plumed with the light of heaven." His eyes focused back on Shepard waiting for hers reaction.
"Was that a memory of yours?" she asked mesmerized.
"Yes, it was," he tilted his head in acknowledgement.
"Poetic… you just painted your memory to me," Angie marveled at the vivid description.
"Yes, I did," he smiled lightly.
Shepard thought for a moment before commenting, "But you don't kill for the hanar anymore. You are freelancing." She was curious, "What changed?"
Smile left his lips: "I was asleep for a long time, yes. I didn't pay any attention to what my body was asked to do, but then," Thanes eyes went out of focus as another memory invades: "Laser dot trembles on his skull. One finger twitch and he dies. Then the smell of spice on the spring wind. Sunset-colored eyes defiant in the scope. The laser dances away." His eyes focused again, he cough before speaking, "My apologies. Drell slips into memories so easily," he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
"Was that one of your assassinations?" Angie asked softly.
"Ah. Yes." Thane looked away from her for a moment. "Perhaps we can discuss it later?" he asked as he focused back on her: "I already spent too much of your time."
"Of course. I have a lot of paperwork to be done, so it would be prudent for me to attend to it," she smiled politely. "Thank you for your time, and the insight into drells and hanars."
"It was my pleasure, Shepard. I would hope to share a cup or two at later time, if you would be willing?" he asked in expectancy, hoping that his withdrawal didn't offend her.
"I would be," she replied simple: "If I don't come around, you can seek me out in my quarters if you would want my company," she offered.
"Thank you, I shall keep that in mind," he murmured as the corner of his lips twitched up a bit.
Angie took empty cups yet again and left him alone.
… … … … …
Thane was glad that she wasn't offended when he suddenly ended their discussion. He really enjoyed the time they spent together, but the memory that invaded their exchange of words, that was too personal for him to share or explain. He never talked about his wife to anybody and he wasn't going to begin talking about her now. It was not Shepard fault that she witnessed one of his more personal memories. But he needed to be alone again, if for no reason else, then to prevent any further memories to surface while she would be here. He just couldn't allow that. Thane walked towards the mattress and sat down.
Memory surfaces.
Raindrops on the window, wind playing with leafs. Door open. Sunset-colored eyes smiling. I stand up, waiting for her to speak. "You will be a father," she smiles, her hands find mine, fingers intertwine. Surprise. Joy. I pull her in a tight hug. She laughs.
Uncertacy. "I don't know how to be a father," my voice low, scared.
She pulls away, looks into my depths. "You will learn," she asserts. Soft kisses.
Small smile plays on his lips as another memory takes over.
I pace the room. Anticipation. Door open. White robed woman walks towards me. She stops. "You have a son." Felicity.
She lies on bed, little blue baby in her hands, sleeping.
"He is like you," I smile happy. I pull a chair to the bed, sit down, hold her free hand, look at our child.
"He has your eyes," she says joyfully.
"Kolyat," I whisper.
"Kolyat," she nods and smiles softly.
"How will we provide for him? This job doesn't pay much," I worry.
"We will find a way. You will not return to your old job," she says.
Thane gets up, paces around the room before sitting back on chair.
"You don't need to do this," she tries to stop me.
"I do, for Kolyat. We can't keep living like this," I refuse.
"You can find something else," she tries again, angry.
"What else? That is all that I know how to do," I look away from her.
"Be careful," she gives up, sadness in her voice,
Thane shrugs as he is once again pulled back into reality. He takes his sniper gun, carefully places it on the table, dissembles it and starts cleaning the pieces.
Door hiss. Light footstep. Roses in the air. She puts cup on the table. Sits down. I pretend to not notice. Enjoying the smell, her presence. I feel her eyes on me; I open my eyes, look at her. She is almost laughing. Strands of hair wild around her face. She blushes. Her skin looks nicer this way.
Thane smiles at recent memory and picks another part of the gun to clean.
I offer her my cup of tea, she accepts. Our hands brush slightly. Her skin is so warm. Pleasant. She takes a sip; wide smile compliments the inviting shape of her pink lips. She offers own drink of a choice. I accept. Hands touch again. Roses linger in the air.
Thanes eye ridge furrow. He puts down already cleaned piece of the gun and moves to another.
"Are you implying that I am a thug?" she plays offended.
I accept her challenge, "I would never dare such insolence. Your skill speaks volumes of your professionalism" Sudden realization hits me. I am holding her hand. So soft, so warm. Reluctantly I let it go.
Thane shakes his head before he starts to reassemble the gun.
"Poetic… you just painted your memory to me," she seems pleased, not shocked as most are. I am content.
Thane puts his gun back on the shelf and returns to his meditations.
… … … … …
Angie sat down behind her desk and checked her mail. She stared at one tilted –About Horizon…- for some time. Maybe I should read it, she thinks and opens it. Shadows crossed her face, she logs out wiping a tear that escaped her eye. He moved on, she fights the tears that threaten to escape. She looks at the picture of Kaidan, shakes her head and decides to not think about it.
She picks up one of the data-pads that are waiting for her and starts reading but her mind keeps escaping towards Thane and the moments they shared. His skin so soft, cold, strange, but it felt… nice, she thinks silently.