Rating: NC-17
Parings: Lily/Severus Harry/Hermione Ron/Lavender Neville/Luna Draco/Ginny
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Chapter title after Blackeyepeas- Anxiety
Special Thanks To: JWOHPfan, Celestialuna, mangagirl18, Wizard's Knight(you are hilarious), EvanescentRomance(Thanks for all those reviews), Patamon32, Ginriku, angelinvestigationsfan, phoenixgirl83, Xenia Marvolo, tina123, The Queen of Confusion, Meeh-san, SpikeyStar, pstibbons (thanks for trying), Selene Malfoy Lupin
Author: Brightsidetolife
In Your Heart & Your Mind
Chapter Ten
Anxiety
BOOM
"Oh, bloody FUCK!" Neville said as he watched the Quidditch building crash down as whatever the explosion was, hit the building.
"It's Death Eaters! Run for your life!"
"Seal the entrance!" Screamed one of the black robed Death Eater of many. "Kill the non-supporters of our Dark Lord!"
"Where are we going to go for are Quidditch stuff now? Of all the bloody fucking places to attack!" Neville said livid pulling out his wand.
Harry felt a mixture of hilarity and anxiety at the whole situation. Hilarity for Neville's use of language and anxiety for what they were going to do. Harry and Neville were both quite a distance away from Flourish and Blotts and if the Death Eaters sealed all the entrances then there would be no help from the Ministry or the Order.
"Harry?" Neville raised curious eyes to Harry as Fred came up at George's side, wand ready.
"Uh huh," Harry said counting how many Death Eaters were marching towards them. It was approximately seven or eight of them at the most.
"I know this might be silly, but do you have any idea what we should do?" Fred and George looked at Neville bewildered.
"What? Do you think that's weird?" Neville asked Fred and George.
Harry smirked. "We have to fight of course," Harry turned towards Neville, Fred, and George, "until some help comes, we need to stop as many Death Eaters from hurting innocent people. I think that these guys are just distractions, because there are so few of them."
"Distraction from what?" Both twins said together.
"That's what I don't know." Harry replied finally brining out his wand.
"You can help me fight them. You're the only one who I can really count on Harry, the only one I trust enough to put everything into saving the wizarding world with me. I need to know that you have my back." Neville said to Harry.
"You know I will always have your back, Neville, here and in my own world." Harry said sincerely.
Neville nodded. "No offense Fred and George."
"None taken."
"Look! It's ickle baby Potter! I thought I killed you?" one of the hooded figures crowed.
Harry snarled."Bellatrix! Redcuto!"
"Harry!" Harry's concentration was broken by Neville as one of the few Death Eaters whom had started to crowned around them from every direction, sent a Cruciatus Curse at Harry.
Harry ducked as the curse ended up shattering one of the windows the Weasley's joke shop. You could hear the customers that were still in the shop screaming in fear.
"We're just sitting ducks here." Harry said to Neville throwing a stunning spell at one of the Death Eaters whom simply blocked it.
"Right, we need to split up." Neville said.
"Right." Both twins said together heading towards the left throwing hexes and curses and Neville went to the right.
"That's not what I was going to suggest, but whatever." Harry replied throwing up a protego shield as Bellatrix was determined to torture Harry.
"Bellatrix you idiotic woman! Get Longbottom! The Dark Lord doesn't give a rats ass about Potter! You can have your fun with him later!"
Harry didn't have time to react as he watched the horror in front of him as the Death Eater which he assumed was Dolohov by the sound of his voice, kill a women with her children when she was trying to defend herself and her kids against two Death Eaters that had came their way, they were murdered within seconds along with her children. Dolohov then used a spell to show the dark mark in the clouds.
Harry was seeing red, how could that man be so... so heartless!
"Don't tell me what to do Dolohov!" Bellatrix snapped turning towards him forgetting all about Harry, "Dolohov? Dolohov what the bloody hell is wrong with you?" Bellatrix asked as Dolohov was clutching his throat as if he was choking knocking his mask off, you could see his face was starting to turn a light purple as if he couldn't breath.
Harry was breathing heavily, both of his hands were clenched in fists at his sides and his eyes were starting to turn to a very dark green instead of its bright emerald ones.
"It's the boy!"
Harry vaguely heard somebody shout his name before he felt himself being blasted threw a window. All thoughts gone as he blacked out.
Harry slowly became aware that he was lying on the floor. His head was propped up in someone's lap, and someone, presumably the same person whose lap his head inhabited, was gently shaking him and what sounded like 'ennervate' spell preformed on him.
"Harry! Harry say something!"
Harry slowly opened his eyes and looked up, seeing Remus Lupin bent down over him, concern wrinkling his forehead.
Running his right hand threw his own hair Harry sat up frowning in pain."Ugh... that bitch."
Remus smiled uncertainly, like he wasn't sure Harry was one hundred percent there.
"I'm okay, Remus." Harry said sluggishly as Remus helped him up and handed him is fallen glasses. The logical side of Harry's brain, what little there was of it left after being thrown into a glass window was telling him that since Remus was here before him, then the Order must have found their way into Diagon Alley before the Death Eaters could seal the place up.
"Bloody hell, Harry, you scared me. I thought you were dead." Remus said checking to see if Harry really was okay.
"I'm fine." Harry said moving away as he looked out the shattered window and watched the other members of the Order looking like they were wining against the on slot of Death Eaters.
"Harry, you were just blasted threw a window and you were knocked unconscious for about five minutes at the most." Remus said looking worried.
"Why are you guys still fighting the Death Eaters? I mean I thought it was just a few of them, not-"
"Did you just hear me Harry?" Remus asked annoyed at Harry's lack of caring of his well-being.
"Yeah, I heard you, so what, it's not important-"
"You were blasted threw a window! That's pretty important to me Harry Potter! You could have been in a coma or-"
Harry just walked out of the building threw the shattered window and into the action with Remus calling after him. Harry didn't mean to be rude, but he just couldn't deal with a hysterical werewolf.
"Harry, what are you doing?" yelled James when he saw Harry wondering around on his own looking ragged, "get back against the wall! You're just going to get yourself hurt!"
'Gee thanks for the faith Dad'
"No," Harry snapped back, "I can help." Harry threw curses at the remaining two Death Eaters that were fighting Tonks.
The Death Eater closest to Harry advanced on him. The black long bushy dirty hair poking around the hood, and girly laughter identified the Death Eater as Bellatrix Lestrange. Using his seeker skills Harry managed to dodge the curses being thrown at him, but he was able to do little in the matter of offense. Lestrange sent a cutting curse that grazed the side of Harry's abdomen. Harry waited for the pain that was sure to come, but never did. The graze faded away as soon as it had came.
'What the bloody hell?'
"Stupefy!" James shouted at Bellatrix stunning her, but was soon distracted again as another Death Eater came at James throwing hexes and curses at him.
Harry touched his stomach threw his torn jacket and shirt in wonder, but something else caught his attention as he saw Neville out of the corner of his eye cowering under the assault of a lone Death Eater. Neville was twitching and, although it was too loud in the noise of panicked wizards and witches, screaming; a clear sign that Neville was being held under the Curciatus. Harry ran around behind the Death Eater avoiding stray curses.
"Expelliarmus! Reducto!" shouted Harry with his wand. The Death Eaters wand flew out of his hand just as the blasting curse sent the Death Eater flying into the wall. He fell onto the floor unconscious and a trail of blood ran down the sides of the golden mask.
"You okay?" Harry held out his wand hand as Neville nodded his head and accepted the help. He was twitching, but he was going to be alright.
"Thanks Harry."
Neville's eyes however gotten wide at something behind Harry. Harry turned around wand ready to whomever it was.
"Lu-Lucius." Harry stammered the name in surprise, it seemed wrong to call the man Mr. Malfoy, what with Draco being his friend/cousin, but he didn't know what Lucius loyalties were with him, or Neville. "What—what are you doing here? Are you one of them?" Harry asked finally taking notice of Lucius Malfoy's attire. He was dressed just liked the Death Eaters, without his mask on.
The elder Malfoy looked at both Neville and him grimly, "I've come to take you two back to Order away from danger."
"What? But—"
Harry didn't know what to do; he couldn't just leave, not with some of the Death Eaters still lose and he still didn't know if Severus and his mother and his siblings were alright.
Lucius took a step forward towards him and Harry nearly took an involuntary step back.
"No buts," Lucius grabbed Harry's wrist, "it's time to go, grab Neville's arms before the portkey activates." Harry did as he was told as Lucius pulled out a parchment.
The portkey worked as all others did, jerking Harry roughly behind the navel making him feel nauseous as he traveled from one point to another. The moment the portkey deposited them in their location mere seconds later Harry buckled to the ground, knees striking the stone floor of their destination hard and he felt ready to retch.
"Harry?" It was Neville's, worried voice that brought him out of his trance as slowly stood up. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I just hate portkeys." Harry mumbled looking around to see that they were in the living room of Grimmauld Palace.
Lucius Malfoy motioned for them to follow him out the room as he lead them through the halls down towards the basement where the kitchen was. As Harry started walking down the steps to the kitchen, he could hear Severus voice which sounded angry and hysterical?
"....was meant to have been checked! Standard procedure! Someone, some lazy, idiotic, fucking bastard didn't make sure the alarm and blocking shields were put up when it would have been pretty fucking obvious that it was tampered with!"
"Severus, please calm down!" Lily said just as upset.
"I promised under oath that I would protect-"
"We have to trust in Harry! We have to trust that he knows what he's doing and that he's fine. The Order should be there in a matter of seconds! So should Albus!"
"I'm going to fucking find out who fucked up so I can kill them! They're going-"
"Well such language Severus!" Lucius said quite amused.
Severus flushed in embarrassment, but got over it as he went and checked Harry to see if he was wounded.
Neville was grinning madly despite the situation.
"Neville are you okay? You're shaking." Lily asked Neville while Harry was trying to get away from Severus, I mean honestly, the man was making a big deal out of nothing!
"I'm fine." Neville said weakly, but Lily wasn't buying it.
Harry looked very pale, but other than that he was fine, Severus concluded as he ran his hand threw Harry's hair, slightly relieved. Harry had to admit that he welcomed the fatherly gesture.
"Lucius, did anybody see you bring Harry and Mr. Longbottom here?" Severus asked without looking at him, knowing that Lucius was probably smirking in amusement at his behavior.
"Most likely." Lucius replied making Severus stare at him in confusion.
"Yes that's right Severus, I can no longer be a spy for the Dark Lord." Lucius said smugly.
Severus looked very angry. "Tell me Lucius, when and if somebody from the Order gets kidnapped by the Dark Lord's -"
"I WILL NOT SUBJECT MYSELF TO HIM ANYMORE! I WILL NOT HAVE MY FAMILY PUT IN DANGER!" Lucius shouted, very out of character.
"We all have to make sacrifices that we don't like, Lucius!" Severus said just as livid as Lucius.
"Harry, Neville, come with me now." Lily said leaving no room for argument.
Harry and Neville hurried after her, not really wanting to have to hear anymore than they had to about Lucius personal life and the shouting match that was surely to come between Severus and Lucius.
"Bitch, bitch, bitch..geeze Severus you should have been born with tits!"
Neville covered his mouth trying to hold in his laughter, Harry was just shocked that those words even formed out of Lucius Malfoy's mouth. Now Harry knew where Draco got it from.
Lily's face flushed red in embarrassment as she hurried away from the kitchen and threw the halls.
Harry barely heard Severus say the 'muffliato' spell, then everything was silent in the kitchen. Neville was full out grinning at Harry in pure amusement.
"Harry, Neville!" Lily called after them, but not to loudly so that the portraits wouldn't start screaming.
"You know, Snape has been a lot more interesting now since you've been here." Neville replied walking along side Harry.
"What'd you mean?" Harry asked him confused as they started descending up the stairs after Harry's mother.
Neville smirked. "Never in my life I have I even heard Snape use language like that." Neville lowered his voice so that Lily wouldn't hear, "He's changed dramatically since you've got here, it's like he's a totally different person. The Snape I know would have never been upset about the fact that you were in danger. He looked really worried about you."
Harry swallowed. "I know what you mean, Severus, in my world, he wouldn't have cared. It's really weird and I'm still not use to it." Harry admitted as Lily stopped them in front of the door of the bedroom which Harry had shared with Ron on the second floor in his own world.
"Harry in about an hour I want you down stairs, I'll send Kreatcher after you, but for now you are to stay in your room. Neville, your father will be here at any moment to take you home, so I want you to follow me so I can get you some potions and get you cleaned up." Lily said sternly to them.
Neville sighed and gave Harry a smile smile. "Later than, mate."
"Yeah, later, Neville." Harry said reluctantly as his mother lead Neville towards the third floor.
When Harry opened the door, he was greeted by an ecstatic four-year-old. Harry smiled closing the door behind him. Alec hugged Harry around his waist.
"Hey Alec." Harry sounded worn out even to himself. "How's it goin', little bro?"
"Hi big bro." Alec grinned sheepishly releasing Harry, even though Harry could tell that he was tired. "Kimberly and me made macaroni snow flakes. It got in my hair."
"Yeah?" Harry smiled at him,"Was it fun?"
"Yep, Kimberly fell asleep though." Alec nodded towards Kimberly whom was sprawled out on one of the twin beds softly snoring.
Harry laughed. "She must have been really tired."
"Yeah, but I wanted to stay up and make sure you were okay, Kim did to, but she fell asleep, I didn't though."
Harry smiled sadly down at him. "I'm glad you're okay, Harry." Alec replied yawning.
Harry found a weary smile, pressed it onto his lips. "I'm glad you're okay to, Alec." A big goofy grin plastered itself on Alec's face.
Making his way back downstairs, Harry knew he was going to get in trouble for taking so long to talk to James about what had happened today. He just didn't feel like having another unpleasant conversation about his behavior and how irresponsible and irrational he was.
Harry sighed and made his way to the room where he knew James was waiting on him.
"Yes, I know he could have gotten kidnapped or even killed Potter!" The raised voice caught Harry's attention. Severus was angry. He didn't like it when Severus was angry, even when it wasn't directed at him. Severus was really scary when he was angry, Harry noticed when he and Lucius were having their shouting match.
Harry stepped closer to the door.
"James, I know it's hard, but you have to let Harry figure things out for himself. How is he going to be a strong leader if you are going to be there to do everything for him?" Lily asked him quietly.
"And what if he can't do it? What if the stress gets to him like it's getting to Longbottom? What if this whole thing makes him insane?"
"James, he's not Neville Longbottom, he's not our son. This boy, he's much more independent and stronger, he's not weak, he's not some fragile glass doll that can break. He's 'the chosen one' sadly to say. He's already a soldier, he can take whatever life gives him." Lily said speaking stronger than before.
Harry felt sad-affection towards his mother.
Harry heard James sigh loudly. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet and shaky. "I just don't want him to get hurt. It's not that I don't trust your judgment Lily..."
"It's that you don't trust anyone when it comes to taking care of Harry." Severus finished."We know, Potter."
Swallowing Harry softly knocked on the door.
Lily was the one to open the door to let him in, the room looked like a private office. There was a desk in front and two cushioned chairs in front of it. It didn't look very welcoming at all. It kind of reminded him of the dungeons.
"Harry, Severus and I are going to let you and your father talk-"
"Twenty minuets tops." Severus cut in.
"and then we are all going to go home, okay?" Harry nodded hid head in understanding.
Lily gave Harry a small smile and James a warning glare before walking out the door along with her husband, shutting the door behind them.
James was sitting in front of the edge the brown oak desk, arms folded to his chest as he stared at Harry as if he was trying to figure him out.
It was a very awkward silence for Harry as he was still standing in the middle of the room, just waiting for his father to explode at any second now. I mean how long could the man just sit there and stare at him?
"So are we going to start talking or are we waiting for you to develop some form of telepathy?" Harry asked sarcastically baiting his father.
Wrong move.
"You could have died!" James shouted standing up."I'm supposed to take care of you, damn it! That's my job. My job! It's always been my job! I'm the one that's supposed to protect you!" James advanced on Harry, who seemed like he was trying to find a way to just blend into the furniture.
"Fuck you." Harry grates out between clenched teeth. He's shaking so hard, and James can see it as he comes closer. James heart hurt, worse than it did when he saw his son fall threw the veil.
"Fuck you and your job. It's my job to defeat Voldemort! To rid him of this world, my world!You can't always be there to protect me from the big bad evil world!"
Harry wished everything he said wasn't coming out sounding so petulant and childish. He was probably proving to James that he was just an immature little brat. And all Harry desperately wanted was for his father to like him.
"Dammit Harry! You've got to live for me! You have to. I need you to be alive. The parent is not suppose to out live their children!" James said fiercely.
"Dad." Harry could barely hold on at the dip in his voice. At the shaky breath, sharp intake. Because if he cries, if he lets just one tear slip, they'll both know. They'll both know he's broken, he's scared, he's terrified. Unfortunately, a sob did escapes past Harry's lips, bubbling thickly out of his throat. He sounds like he's dying, which only made James pull Harry into a hug.
"I can't let you die, Harry. I can't watch it happen again." James whispered letting his chin fall on top of Harry's head. Harry wrapped him in his arms, holding his father tight as if he was afraid James was going to leave him, which he wouldn't blame him for the way he was talking to him.
"I'm a selfish bastard Harry. Thats why your mother and I divorced. I'll probably always will be, so get used to it. But I can promise you that my selfishness is tempered. My way will always be the one that keeps you as safe as you'll let me."
"You're not a selfish bastard." Harry whispered trying to stop his tears from coming down.
James snorted and kissed the top of Harry's head.
Harry accepted the affectionate touch without complaint, he delighted in being able to talk to his father again, to confine in him.
"So I guess congratulations are in order," James said releasing Harry and his smile widened as Harry whipped his eyes and scowled at him.
"After you just yelled at me about being irresponsible?"
"Oh come on, your old man was just mad at you for risking your life. I'm over it now!" James said still smiling has Harry's scowl deepened.
"I think you've been cooped up at home by yourself for way too long." Harry replied.
"I'm insanely good-looking. Almost ridiculously so, in fact, I don't live alone, I have a girlfriend."
Harry looked away rolling his eyes, a reluctant grin pulling at his lips. 'Of course he does.'
"Unfortunately, I've been talking to Snape about you and he's put some perspective in place for me about you. I don't want you to think that I think of you as a replacement for my own son, you are not, nobody could ever replace him. I'll always love my son, but you; legally, biologically related or not, you are my son and I'm going to treat you as such. Since your biological parents are not here to take care of you, I will for them in their place." James said with sincerity to Harry.
It took a moment longer than it should but Harry rolled his eyes and grumbled, "Quit being such a chick, Dad." James grinned at his son pulling him into a noogie.
"A chick huh?"
Harry finally felt happy that his father, James Potter, finally excepted him for who he was and not of his son. He was going to have to thank Severus for that.
A/N Thanks for waiting.