The Serpent
Chapter 10: Venom
Hotter than hot, like the first rays of sunlight on a new day or the sizzling of silver against raw vampire skin, that was what Och-Kan's fangs felt like. Part of me wanted to scream, to make my pain vocal, to seethe and whimper and cry like a human. I held back, gritting my teeth, hissing through them by expelling a gust of trapped air. I shut my eyes, bloodied with vampire tears. My eyelashes stuck to the tops of my pasty cheeks, but that didn't matter right now. All that mattered now was the pain. And somewhere deeper, all that mattered was Sookie.
The animal finally withdrew, but I hardly noticed his retreat. The wound closed almost automatically, like a mechanical door drawing shut. But the venom would not be rejected. It snaked through my pulsing veins, burned down the great halls of my arteries, stung the muscles and the unused organs. I gripped Sookie's hand so tightly that I feared breaking her fragile human body. If she could feel me, feel my weight and my frustration, she did not indicate it. She didn't cry and she didn't whimper. She was locked inside her own chaotic mind, and she did not notice me at all.
In a moment, I would know why.
It started with a spark, like the flame of a lit match. The sulfur smell of the match head was distinct on my nostrils. The flame sizzled through my every particle, following a trail of kerosene. I writhed on the grass like a trapped animal, gripping my lover's hand as though she might keep me grounded. The damp blades sliced my flesh as though knives lie beneath our contorted bodies. My mouth filled with saliva and foamed between my fangs, which revealed themselves immediately. I could hear thoughts, see motivations, feel emotions. They came at me from all sides, warriors on a long lost battlefield. I couldn't find a defensive weapon. There was nothing to hold them back.
My lover, is this your universe? Is this how you live and suffer?
I lifted my throat to the moonlit sky and howled in agony.
***
"What's happening to him?" I pleaded, running to the vampire's side. I bent down in the grass and touched his shoulders. He pulled away from me, smacking me roughly in the arm with an errant elbow. On my butt in the cold, wet grass, I watched him squirm and cry. The big blonde Viking was the strongest, most brutal vampire I'd ever met. He was blunt and cold and I never really knew what Sookie saw in him. But if this was the man she saw…well, that I could understand a little better.
His normally pale, iridescent skin was translucent. I could see every purple and blue vein, every rosy red artery. I could see the pink flesh of his muscles, and I watched them flex and press against the lacy thin dermis. His cheeks were stained red with bloody tears, and each fresh one layered upon the last. His face looked like an unfinished Jackson Pollock painting, meaningful streaks on white canvas.
"The Viking's blood reacts with Och-Kan's venom in a way that does not affect humans. These compounds of magic, knowledge and immortality, are not meant to be combined. With time, wisdom comes, but so too does it depart. Humans may see a glimmer of knowledge, but the way in which they come to know it is powerful and mystical. It is only a small revelation, something that becomes part of the soul and leads the human on a journey to seek Truth. But immortality, immortality does not blend well with knowledge. If immortal beings knew all, their lives would be wasted. There would be no joy in it. There would be no sport. The Gods, they love their sport."
Ixil chuckled, and the sound was light and merry despite the horrors before my eyes. I stared at her with wonder. If what she said was true, then even she did not know all the answers. She was still learning, still changing. I had no doubt in my mind that she was immortal. But she could still change and still grow. It was something I'd never expected.
"To see the truth, all the truth, before the soul is ready to know it, is to bring great pain to the self. When the soul is an immortal one, the pain is much worse. I do not know why. I would guess that the pain is to discourage the immortal from seeking out Truth directly instead of learning it through the journey of their continuing lives. But I can only guess."
"I can't bear to watch them like this," I whispered, mesmerized and stricken by Eric's continuing pain.
"It will end, my dear witch. It will end when they find what they seek."
"But you said they can't know!"
"They cannot know the Truth. But they can find an answer to their questions, even if that answer brings only more questions. Och-Kan brings wisdom and knowledge but not Truth."
"You are a witch, Amelia," Octavia said behind me. I blinked and turned around. She'd barely even been present, so silently standing in the shadows. "As you know, spells have specific purposes. When the spell is completed, their pain will end."
"Yes, it will." Ixil nodded thoughtfully.
"Well, we need to get them inside," I frowned, getting up off the ground. "They might not find their answer before sunrise."
***
You're a goddess, a stunning and beautiful goddess! Please…please don't stop now!
I squirmed in the darkness, listening to Amelia's thoughts as they wriggled into my brain. She was somewhere nearby, and her voice was loud, echoing, painful. I clasped Sookie against me and wept. I was consumed by emotions, coming at me from every corner of Louisiana and likely beyond. There were human thoughts and vampire thoughts, witches and werewolves and everything in between. I could not remember ever feeling so helpless before, so overcome and…terrified. Beyond the blank walls of the hovel Ixil called home, I could hear the heartbeats of trees, the blood in the veins of insects, the whispering words of the creek. There were too many things to hear and feel and see, so much that I'd been missing and wanted to miss again. Overwhelmed and frightened, I let out a scream.
And over the buzz, the blistering of my brain, I heard Sookie.
***
I didn't know he could feel scared. His feelings washed over me like nightmares, pushing everything else down, compacting it under his presence. He was practically inside me, all around me, taking over my mind and heart. Eric. I never knew he was capable of feeling scared. There were other thoughts too, other feelings, other sensations. He was caught up in his pain, and in the pain of others, and it brought him great and unbearable sadness. I wanted to hold him, to bury him in my arms. The little mother inside me wanted to shush him and brush his hair back from his damp face.
His thoughts echoed in me, bat voices in a rotting cave.
Every moment I love you scares me.
If I could feel my face, anything other than him, I would have blinked. Did he love me? How could he love me? Vampires didn't have emotions, didn't have feelings, and least of all Eric. For a thousand years he'd felt nothing, and now?
What if I let myself love you and something happens? What if you leave me forever? What if you die?
You can't love me. You can't. Vampires can't fall in love, I've seen it happen! I've been lied to and tricked, betrayed and injured. What if I let myself love you and you hurt me?
***
I watched the sun rise over the old creek, swollen with rain from northern waterways. It must have rained in Shreveport last night. Octavia slept on an old couch, the stuffing falling out of one end. I scrounged around in a dirty and barren kitchen for something to eat. Ixil appeared in the curtained bedroom doorway, her skin an attractive olive color, and her nose small and clearly human. She was beautiful, and I crossed the room to kiss her sweet mouth.
"You're awake, lover," she murmured near my ear, brushing away a lock of my hair.
"I can't sleep through their chaos another day," I frowned, pointing my chin toward the floor. Beneath us, in the bowels of Ixil's small abode, Eric and Sookie continued in their pain for a second morning, struggling with their acquired wisdom.
"I can help you sleep, if you like," Ixil winked, gliding a hand down my bare hip.
"I'm tempted, I really am," I blushed, letting my own hand find the perfect swell of her breast.
"You can do nothing to mend their agony, Amelia. Come and rest with me awhile longer."
"Don't tell me we're actually going to rest," I frowned.
"Hardly," she grinned.