Again, no chapter title.

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Chapter 10

He beat me.

I admit he did but he didn't need to rub it in my face. He was smirking at me as I challenged him to another. I didn't like being beat at anything. He knew that but still he taunted me.

"Really? You wanna loose again?" Usually when someone taunts another person, you don't stand next to them. And that's exactly where he was, beside me laughing his ass off like he was so fucking funny. I threw my pole down and lunged at him. He let out a yelp as we tumbled to the floor. There was no one inside so it was just two wrestling on the floor. His hands pushed on my shoulder, trying to shove me off him. I grabbed his wrist pushing his hands off my shoulder. He was strong and could easily roll me off.

Our grunts of fighting were the only noise inside. I was starting to laugh as we continued to struggle. "This is not funny!" He ground out as I pushed against his grip. I rolled off him, hurrying to my feet. I could hear him behind me, running up. I jumped over the pool table, sliding off when I felt a force on my back. I hit the floor face first with a groan. "Is this funny?" He asked as he sat on my back, his weight making me stay on the ground. I wouldn't have minded because I could just buck him off.

But I did mind.

My mind flashed back to that day. When the man pushed me down, getting on top of me. The only different was that I was face down this time but still I felt vunerable. "...get off..." I muttered trying to force the memory away. That was my brother. Not that rapist. My Brother. He laughed not understanding. "Nah I think I'll just stay." I was tensing up again. I tried to move but he just put more weight on me. He didn't know. I wanted to keep it like that. I didn't know his reaction and I didn't want to.

"...please get off..." I was going to break down again. I could feel the man's breath on me and I shivered. My head was swirling with emotions. My chest was starting to constrict, his weight and the weight of the memory was becoming hard on me. I couldn't do anything without him coming back and ruining everything. He took everything from me for just an act that lasted for a few minutes.

"Caleb get off me!" I shouted finally unable to help myself.

He got to me, the man who took everything from me was taking away my playfulness too. Caleb rolled off me at the shout, kneeling before me with a hand reaching out timidly to touch my shoulder. He touched my cheek, wiping away tears I didn't know were there. He looked worried as if he caused me pain. I turned my head to the other side, curling into a ball. All I could see was him over me, touching me, violating me. Why couldn't I just stop thinking about that day? I tried so hard yet the memory seemed to be coming back stronger.

"Callie?" He whispered trying to get me to look at him. I shook my head, tears falling and a sob escaping. I wanted to feel numb again. I was safer numb. I needed a drink, badly. "Callie please." He pleaded touching my hand. I flinched as if he hit me. In that instant the door opened. The voices of a few men were loud, filling the once quiet clubhouse. As soon as they saw us, they reacted. I could recall just a few voices, like that of Juice and Prospect.

"Aw shit." Juice muttered standing a few feet from us. Caleb looked up at him. "I don't know what's wrong with her." He sounded desperate.

"I'll go find Jax." Prospect said, the door opening and closing as he left. There wasn't any need to go find him. I was already embarrassed as it was being caught by three men crying like a baby on the floor. The door opened seconds later, Jax rushing in. He came to me, bending down. "Callie?" I shook my head.

"Don't crowd me please." I begged. There were more men around me than I wanted. Way too many. I saw him motion for Juice and Prospect to leave. They obliged not wanting to cause trouble. Jax gently grabbed my arm, pulling me out of my ball. He helped me up, letting me shield my face against his side as he walked me wherever he was taking me. "Ma!" He called out as soon as we walked outside. Gemma came out of her office and rushed to us as soon as she seen Jax walking with me.

"What happened?" Jax shook his head. I moved from Jax to Gemma, crying into her hold as she held me. Where was Mom?

"It was my fault..." I muttered pulling from Gemma. I rubbed my arm. "We were just playing around and then he sat on me and I...I..." Gemma softened her gaze at me. "I didn't mean to worry anyone. Gemma can I...can I talk to you alone for a few?" I really needed some help. I couldn't keep the memory to myself anymore. Mom only knew I was raped, she didn't know all the details.

"Sure sweetie." She led me to her office, closing the door behind her. She sat in her seat and I sat in front of her. This was awkward. I was going to open up to a woman who I just found was my grandmother after a day. I placed my hands on the desk, folding them and fiddling with my thumb. I was nervous. "H-How much did my mom tell you?"

"She told me that you were raped." I looked down at my hand. Was I really going to tell her? I cleared my throat. Yes I was.

"I was walking home from a friend's house after a fight with another girl. I wasn't watching where I was going and this guy h-he just comes up to me and g-grabs me like nothing. H-He told me not to make a sound as he dragged me to an alley." Tears were forming again. "He threw me on the floor g-getting on top of me, ripping my clothes." I licked my lips, my mouth going dry. "He took me right there in the alley. He didn't care how much I screamed, just made sure to cover my mouth. I tried to fight but he just hit me over and over. Once he f-finished he just got up, laughed, and left me there. I didn't know what to do." I finally looked up at her. "I was in so much pain and I just wanted to forget everything. When Caleb sat on me I-I just lost it. I remembered being in that alley with that man over me. I-I don't know what's wrong with me."

I cried into my hands, sobbing

Gemma went over to me, pulling me into her arms. "Don't tell Ma please." I begged her. "I don't want her to worry 'bout me anymore."

"Sweetie you need to talk to her about this."

"I will just...please I'm not ready. Please." She sighed and nodded reluctantly. She wanted me to tell Mom but I needed to tell Mom on my own.

I just didn't know how to tell her that the man who raped me was her ex-boyfriend.