Author's Note: Alright, guys, we're coming up on the end now (just chapter 11 and the epilogue/sequel-type-thing left after this chapter) and it's really hard to believe. I've been working on the fic for 2 years now, and while I've most definitely switched my fandom focus these days I promise to see this story through to the end.

This particular chapter took ages to write, mostly because the last few pages of it were just plain mean to me. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, though, so hopefully it was worth the wait.

As always, massive thanks to Ari, the greatest beta in the world.

Chapter 10
6:00-7:00: The New York Port Authority

Rory watched Jess's feet as they walked down the sidewalk, examined the scuffed toes of his chucks and the tattered hem of his jeans. The sight was familiar, these were the things about Jess that hadn't changed since high school.

"What are you thinking?" he asked as he ran his hand down the bare skin of her arm. She shivered slightly and lowered her head to rest on his shoulder.

"Nothing much."

He smirked.

"Hey!" she said suddenly. "You never told me what you do!"

"What I do?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah. I mean, you must have a job. You're not living on the streets or anything."

Jess laughed. "Yes, I have a job."

"So…" Rory drew out the word, waiting for some response.

"So…what?" Jess asked. He scratched the back of his head, and tucked his chin down to hide a smile.

"So…what do you do? What's this mystery job?" Rory asked. She was trying her hardest to cover up her laughter with a mask of frustration.

"You know, you're adorable when you're exasperated," Jess told her and she pulled away to smack him lightly across his arm before curling herself back into him. "I work for a shipping company," he sighed. "It's not particularly challenging or anything, but it pays the bills and leaves time for writing."

"Writing?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes." He nodded. "I've published 2 novels and I've got a compilation of short stories due out this winter."

Rory was grinning; he could see her out of the corner of his eye. She ducked her head and when she looked back up at him he almost had to stop. The warm morning glow was bouncing off one of the buildings nearby and lighting her face with soft orange light, and she was smiling so hard he could see all her teeth. "You wrote a book," she said and it came out choked with joy.

"I wrote 3 books," he laughed.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't Luke tell me?"

It was Jess's turn to duck his head. "Luke doesn't know."

"You haven't told Luke?" Her joy turned to shock. "He'd be so proud of you! Jess—"

He sighed. "A lot of the things in the first novel were borrowed from when I was living in Stars Hollow, and the main character…well he was pretty heavily based on Luke. I just…wasn't sure I was comfortable with Luke reading that." He glanced away, but pulled her closer to him. "It's why I wrote under a pen name. Didn't want anyone in Stars Hollow to find out I'd fictionalized them."

Rory nodded. "Are you ever going to tell him?"

"Probably…eventually. I was thinking about inviting him to the release party for the third book."

"You should," Rory said, nudging him with her shoulder. "Invite me, too." She grinned up at him, biting her lower lip, and he wondered why she looked so nervous.

"What if you're in Bahrain when it comes out?"

Rory shrugged. "Invite me anyway, just in case."

"I'll do that."

Rory smiled.

They walked in silence for awhile, Rory's eyes continuing to trace the outline of Jess's feet against the pavement, Jess's fingers gliding up and down her arm. They each marveled in the comfort of the moment, the simplicity.

After awhile, Rory spoke again. "So…would I have read either of your books?"

Jess shrugged. "Maybe. They aren't very well known, but Time did a short blurb on the second one, and the first was profiled in a couple of very obscure literary magazines."

"So what's your pen name?" Her voice was high and light.

"Lucas James."

A short, loud burst of energy exhaled through Rory's lips so fast that she nearly toppled over. "You're Lucas James?" she gasped.

Jess nodded.

"As in the author of Yesterday's Town?"

"Yup." Jess couldn't deny that he was surprised. It was rare that he came across anyone who had read his books, and the fact that Rory had read them—he didn't know whether he was glad or embarrassed.

"I love you!"

Definitely embarrassed. Rory watched the blush rise in his cheeks. As a teenager she'd treated any display of emotion from Jess (any display of emotion that wasn't anger, that is) as a small victory, and she felt that same sense of pride now as his entire face flushed a dark pink.

"I'm serious, Jess. I couldn't put that book down!" She shoved him, lightly, and when he glanced over she was still grinning at him. "Probably because it reminded me so much of Stars Hollow."

He smiled at her: a genuine, from the gut, honest-to-God smile.

"And you. It reminded me of you, too."

--

You know you're smarter than most everybody at your school. It takes you like five minutes to finish a book. You read everything, you remember everything, you could ace those classes easily. Why don't you? You don't need a tutor. It's crazy that they're talking about leaving you back.

Whatever.

You can do anything you want, you can be anything you want.

--

"What time is it?"

Rory glanced down at her watch. "6:23." She sighed and leaned into him a bit, nearly tripping him as they continued to move forward. "Time goes a lot faster when you want it to slow down."

Jess nodded but remained silent.

--

You know what just occurred to me? That we are very fortunate to have good teeth.

Yes, very fortunate.

Can you imagine if braces were involved in this interaction?

It'd be a bloodbath.

I can't catch my breath.

You're not supposed to.

--

Despite their combined and unspoken attempt at a slow-paced walk to the Port Authority, Rory and Jess found themselves staring it down rather quickly. The speed of the city had worked its way into their steps and hurried them towards the inevitable, and they stood before the grime-covered building, their eyes trying to adjust to the harsh glare of the sun on the glass doors. Rory's watch read 6:30.

"I guess we should go in," Rory said after a moment. She disentangled herself from Jess's arm, which was slung around her shoulder.

"Guess so." Jess exhaled slowly, through his teeth. They stepped forward and pushed their way into the building.

Despite the early hour, the Port Authority was teeming with life. People were rushing in every direction, and Rory pushed herself close to Jess as they made their way through the crowd. "I have to get my bags," Rory breathed into his ear, and he nodded his agreement.

The locker that Rory had selected the night before stood at the end of a long row; she pushed the key into the lock slowly, turned it carefully, and stepped back to allow the tall, thin door to swing open. Inside it sat two bags; one a large suitcase that looked like it had been squeezed in by magic, the other a denim messenger bag. Rory grabbed the messenger bag and slung it over her head so that it crossed her chest. It took all of her body weight to pull the suitcase out, and it finally came loose with a loud scraping noise. Rory fell backward into Jess and he struggled to keep them from falling onto the dirty floor beneath them.

"Oops," Rory laughed once they'd regained their balance. Jess just smiled at her and reached for the bag.

Then, in the far corner of the room, slightly apart from the mad rush of people, Rory and Jess found an unoccupied bench. Rory slid down onto it and pulled him with her.

"I think I need coffee," she said.

Jess laughed. "Because the four cups you had earlier this morning weren't enough."

"Nope," Rory said, and she shook her head. "'Caffeine is life.' Lorelai Gilmore, 1995."

Jess shook his head. "That is very, very pathetic."

Rory tried to nod but it came out as a yawn. "See…caffeine needed." She slowly lowered her head to his shoulder. "We should have slept more," she said. "Or maybe less. Less sleep is good, too." She let her eyes drift closed for a moment.

"Don't fall asleep on me now." Jess shifted a bit so his shoulders shook.

"Not sleeping, just resting."

Jess leaned back against the hard bench and allowed his eyes to close as well. The silence was comfortable, but neither could shake the anxiety that clutched their hearts at the thought of Rory's imminent departure.

"Jess?" Rory finally asked.

"Hmm?"

"What happens next?"

--

Okay, so I just go straight and we'll be back at Luke's.

Good sense of direction.

Of course, I could turn right and then we'd just be driving around in circles for awhile.

Turn right.

As you wish.

--

Jess sighed as he tried to push the memory out of his mind. They had been so young then, just seventeen, and he had been so stupid, always trying to tug her away from the picture perfect image she presented. He shook his head and pulled himself towards the present.

"I don't know, Rory," he responded. "What do you want to happen?"

She shrugged but didn't open her eyes. Since when had her life gotten so complicated? "We can keep in touch," she said. "E-mail and stuff."

Jess nodded. "Yeah. We can e-mail."

"And I'll be home for Christmas, I think. There's no telling how long the assignment will be. Maybe I'll be home by Thanksgiving!" Her enthusiasm was genuine but she sincerely doubted the words. She had been promised a Christmas vacation, yes, provided nothing major came up, but the chances of her being sent home as early as Thanksgiving were slim.

Jess could hear the doubt in her voice, but tried to remain optimistic, something he'd never been particularly good at. "The book release will probably be sometime in January. You've got lots of time."

"Yup." She nodded. "Lots of time."

--

This is my stop.

Okay.

So, you'll call me?

Yeah, I'll call you.

--

Rory's eyes shot open as she remembered the promise Jess had made so many years ago. She supposed he hadn't really broken it, provided it had been him calling on the day of her high school graduation, but she couldn't forget the way he'd sounded, telling her he'd call her. The defeat in his voice, the way his words had rung in her ears like an echo, rather than a promise.

"Hey, Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"The day I graduated from high school…was that you that kept calling and hanging up?"

For a long moment Jess didn't respond. He froze beside her, not moving, not even breathing, and Rory sat up to look at him. His eyes were still closed and his lips were pressed firmly together, so tight that they were rimmed with the same yellow-white shade of her knuckles as she grasped the edge of the bench. When he finally moved she breathed a sigh of relief, but he still didn't give her an answer.

"It was, wasn't it?"

He nodded.

"Why'd you call?"

Jess sighed and swiped a hand across the back of his head, raking his nails through his hair and scratching at the skin beneath it. He exhaled slowly. "Because I told you I would."

She nodded. "Yeah, you did."

"I was going to say something, too. Just…didn't know what to say."

"I think I know the feeling."

Jess finally opened his eyes, looking down at her. "I did want to tell you congratulations, though. On graduating and on Yale. Then you made that speech about not pining, though, and anything I'd even considered saying got lost."

There was a large black board at the center of the room that announced all the arrivals and departures in white letters that sped across it like a child's flip book. Before Rory could say anything there was a loud rustling and her bus appeared on the departure list as "now boarding."

"I guess we should go find it," Jess said. Rory nodded.

Rory's bus was at the end of a long line; they could hear the engine groaning over the crowd of people, the other twelve buses and at least 50 feet of concrete. As they walked towards it, Rory's arm linked through Jess's and her head once again rested on his shoulder, they simultaneously slowed down.

"I think that one's yours," Jess said, gesturing with his free hand to the marquee display across the top of the windshield that read "Newark Airport."

"Yup, that's the one."

They were still 20 feet away, standing beside a bus that was, according to its windshield, going to Stamford, Connecticut. A tall man in an unfortunate suit pushed his way past them to get to it. "S'cuse me!" he called back apologetically as he raced for the door.

"Looks like everybody's in a hurry," Jess said

"Indeed." Rory turned to face him and pressed her face into his neck. "Remember the last time we were here?" she asked as she stepped back.

"You mean last night?"

Rory laughed and shook her head. "No, back in high school." She smiled. "I skipped school, tracked you down for no good reason?"

"Oh." Jess laughed. "That time."

"Yup, that time."

"You know, if you hadn't done that, we probably never would have dated."

Rory looked up at him and tightened the grip she had on the fabric of his shirt. "Oh yeah? How do you figure?"

"Well, I would have never come back to Stars Hollow and you never would have kissed me at Sookie's wedding and I never would have subtly sabotaged your relationship with Dean."

"Oh, so that's what you call showing up at the dance marathon with Shane? Subtly sabotaging my relationship with Dean?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Rory laughed. "Well, thank you for that. I wish you'd managed it sooner. Might've prevented the relapse I had after my freshman year."

"Relapse?"

"Dean and I got back together, briefly, when I was in college."

"You're kidding."

Rory shook her head. "Nope. It was a disaster from the start."

"But didn't he get married after high school? To the Matchbox Twenty rebound girl?"

"Lindsay? Yeah, he did." Rory bowed her head. "It didn't last, and that's largely my fault." She raised her head to look him in the eye. "Not something I'm particularly proud of."

Jess hugged her close and rested his chin on her head. "Yeah, well, the past is the past, right?"

Rory nodded. "Right."

Jess pressed a kiss against her temple and they once again started walking towards the bus.

Up close it looked like a death trap. Most of the paint had worn off the sides and it tilted to the left. "Are you sure you want to take the bus?" Jess asked her as they stared up at it.

Rory nodded. "This is nothing compared to some of the buses I took in high school. I'll be fine."

"You promise?"

"I promise. Besides, I'm a war correspondent, right? I've got to get used to roughing it." She smiled at him and he could see how strained it was.

Jess leaned back against the bus and shoved his hands into his pockets. For an instant she was transported back in time. "You know, you haven't changed so much," she told him. "I mean, you're older, more mature, but you're still Jess." She smiled.

"Really? I am?" Jess asked, his voice laced with mockery and his eyes glittering. "Because I thought I might be Jerry."

Rory laughed again and almost instantly her laughter turned to tears.

Jess's face fell and he reached out to pull her against him. "Hey, hey," he said, his hand sliding down the back of her head and his fingers slipping through the strands of her hair. "If you keep breaking down like this you're going to dry out." He rested his chin on top of her head. "Can't have you going off to Bahrain dehydrated."

She choked through her tears and wrapped her arms around his waist. Her face was pressed up against the warm skin of his neck. "I don't want to go," she told him, pressing a kiss against the spot where she could feel his heartbeat.

"Rory."

"I don't. I don't want to go. I don't want to say goodbye."

Jess took her in. The smell of his shampoo and her slightly damp hair, the way she clung to him, like this was forever, the desperation in her sobs. He took her in and pushed her away. He held her at arms length, his hands on her shoulders. "You have to do this."

"Why." The word was meant to be a question, but she already knew the answer.

"If you don't go, you'll regret it. And don't tell me that won't happen, because it will and you know it, Rory."

"You want me to go?"

"No. I want you to stay." She looked up, her eyes bright with tears. "I want you to stay, but you need to go. You know you need to go."

She nodded, reached a hand up to push tears out of her eyes. "I need to go."

"Yeah," Jess nodded. "You need to go."

He pulled her against him again, tangled his fingers in her hair.

"This is so weird," Rory said. She was still pressed up against him and her voice was almost lost in his shoulder.

"What's weird?"

"This." She laughed. "I didn't think I would ever see you again, and here I am, finding it impossible to say goodbye to you."

He nodded and his cheek brushed back and forth against her hair. "Yeah, I guess it is pretty weird."

"So…are you going to say goodbye?"

He pulled away to look her in the eye and took her hands in his.

"I mean, you've hardly ever said 'goodbye.' It's always been, you know, 'I'll call you,' or a drive-by 'I love you.'" She rubbed at her eyes.

"Do you want me to say goodbye?"

She nodded. "I'm not going to leave unless you do."

He tried to smile, but it came out strained. "Goodbye, Rory."

She pulled his face to hers and pressed her lips to his. It was slow and sweet, almost chaste. When she stepped back there were fresh tears in her eyes. "Goodbye, Jess."

She broke contact first. She took another step backward, moving closer to the bus, and let her hands slip from his grasp. They'd been touching almost constantly since arriving at the port authority, and the separation was a shock. She managed a weak smile before turning away and running to the bus. He watched her form through the tinted glass as she moved into the heart of the bus.

She took a seat near the middle, a window seat, and he followed down to stand outside her window. He didn't have to knock to get her attention, she was already watching him. "I love you," he told her through the glass.

"What?" She pushed open the window.

He smiled. "I love you."

"Oh." She grinned and he thought he could see the outline of a blush in the dim light. "I love you, too, Jess."

--

I mean, you ditched school and everything. That's so not you. Why'd you do it?

Because you didn't say goodbye.

Oh. Bye, Rory.

Bye, Jess.

--