Carl had made his choice. He knocked on Jagadamba's door. Michonne answered.
When they made eye contact something she had been fighting for months clicked in Michonne. Carl seemed taller. Devoid of his hat, there were no reminders of his father or his juvenile status. His kind of virginity was no longer a deterrent. The desire he gave into so easily that she fought full bore had finally hit her like a ton of bricks. She had a crush on him.
MIchonne averted her eyes lest he see the lust. She was about to step aside when clutched her by her forearms.
Feeling generous, Carl took her by surprise and hugged her for the first time in weeks. Pressing their bodies together leaving no propriety of space between them like he used to.
She half-heartedly tried to no prevail. Carl had one hand near her shoulder blade and the other perilously close to the small of her back. He liked the feel of her person against his and vice versa.
"I am glad you made it back," he said into her ear in a low growl before rubbing his cheek against hers. He still had feelings for her despite everything.
Who says you can't be in love more than one person at a time? He thought.
"Thank you," she had never been more grateful for a hug in her life.
They lingered in the embrace a touch too long.
"If the two you of need some privacy," Jagadamba said not quite sure which one she feel more possessive of her aunt or her kinda, sorta not really boyfriend.
Michonne scoffed but pulled away from him. He gave her a big smile.
"I love that smile," she grinned.
He blushed.
"I need to, uh, talk to Jag. It is important," his heart was beating out his chest.
"Okay. I am gone. I am beyond tired. I will catch up with y'all tomorrow. Jagadamba Boudica Chowdhury-Anthony, I am so glad you are alive. Ooh, that reminds me. What is Carly-Jayne's last name? What is her birthday?"
"Dalton like her aunt and uncle. You met Bigelow, right?"
"Yeah. Looks like a blond Matt Damon?" Michonne asked.
"Yeah. I had her June twenty-seventh," she said.
"That is my birthday," Carl said.
"I know. That is other reason I named her Carly-Jayne."
"Awesome. So, when I turn seventeen, she will be four. That is so cool. I need to start planning that. It has to be all about her, she is a baby. I like your daughter. She is sweet once you get to know her and like super smart. And funny. I have never met a child so little that was so funny. She has a dry humor," he smiled.
Jagadamba smiled and and felt dizzy. She swore she saw a halo around him.
"I am glad. She is crazy about you. I guess she inherited that from me," she loved him so much, it kinda made her nauseous.
Michonne bid them farewell and left.
Once outside, She saw a half-dressed Enid running past Sasha who had been waiting for her on her front porch. The women traded mischievous grins.
"Looks like she got surprised," MIchonne laughed.
"Have you heard about her and Carl?" Sasha asked.
"Yes. I am glad he finally made a move. I told him to get with her months ago," she said before yawning.
"They got serious fast. Where is Carl now?" Sasha asked.
"Must not be. He is with my niece."
"I bet he is. She fainted when she saw him. Do you know he then picked her ass up dead weight and ran with her? I didn't know your boy was that strong."
"That is the thing about Carl. He is stronger than he looks," Michonne could not help but grin.
Sasha shrugged neither agreeing or disagreeing.
"Pronounce her name for me again," she said.
"Juh-gad-am-ba."
"Jagadamba, Achilles, Priyanka, Michonne. You all have the most interesting names. Achilles especially. That sounds like you are about to get the most spectacular ass-whooping on the eastern seaboard."
"Their dad, my big brother, Bushrod-"
"Bushrod? Really? That had to have been a family name," she deduced.
"Yeah. After an ancestor. Bushrod Washington. He was George Washington's brother."
"Whoa. I have heard of him. He had a bunch of babies with underage slaves. So, you are a Washington?"
Michonne hunched. It was no great matter to her. All she heard was rape and rejection whenever her lineage was brought up.
"No big deal. It is not a point of pride for me."
"I hear you."
Michonne thought of her brother and laughed.
"What?" Sasha asked.
"Rod used to call me silverware sounds," she recollected.
"Why?"
"He said our mom threw silverware against the railing and the sound it made, Michonne was my name. I used to just hate when he said that. But now I would give up my katana to hear him say that one last time. I was crazy about my big brother. He was the best. Funny, handsome, charming and just supersmart. Jagadamba gets her most brains, her beautiful, big brown eyes and her personality and some of her coloring from her daddy. Jayne was not too shabby herself. Pretty ass were both doctors," Michonne said.
"Her mother must've been a, uh, light-skinned Indian. You can tell she has some black in her. She could pass for a red bone or an Indian. I can tell she identifies as black. So, that is something."
"You do not like my niece, do you?"
"Jury's out. She doesn't like me. She makes fun of my hair. Like what is wrong with it? Some of us are busy trying not to die, not getting our hair done. Plus, I have a lot of hair. She had on full make up and like the shortest skirt, hell, the only skirt on anyone in years. That is begging to be fucked with."
"Have you seen her without make-up?"
Sasha shook her head no.
"I have. She looks even less threatening. She looks twelve. She was all hair, eyes and afterglow," she choked on afterglow.
"Goddamn. He fucked her, too? Carl is turning out to be a real cockhound. What type of head and dick is he throwing down? From what you have told me about his daddy- he got a big dick and he knows how to wield it. That shit must be genetic."
"Eww. Stop talking. I don't want to think about Carl like that. I can't," she said panicking a little. It made her feel a kind of way. She did not like it. It was regret she did not hit that first. It made her feel queasy.
However, she was not surprised by any supposed prowess. After all, he was an excellent kisser so she figured he would be good at the other stuff, too.
Plus, the way her starry-eyed niece was gushing about the young man, he done something she liked a helluva alot. She recognized the look because she had seen it in the mirror on her own face when it came to his dad.
Erstwhile, Sasha found her response a little odd but understandable. He was basically her son after all or so she thought.
"Look. I got a little carried away. I know he is your baby. I am sorry," Sasha sat down on the steps.
Michonne sat beside her.
"It is okay. My Carl has had to grow up so much. He keeps so much bottled in. It is not healthy."
"I don't know. He has released the kraken at least twice now. But, I have to admit if he had five more years of mileage on him I would conduct an investigation on what bfd is."
"Oh, really?"
"You did not hear that girl. It sounded fun. Anyway, I wish you had heard what he said to Jagadamba. It was awfully romantic."
"What?"
"After a rousing game of the dirty dozens which they drew a stalemate- when he recognized her. He practically flew down the watchtower and slung it open with one arm. But, this was only after he fussed at God for waiting until he got a new woman to throw the old one in his face. Well, that is how I took it.
Anyway, he took off that goofy ass hat. He slicked back his hair. He then said and this is verbatim, "I know it has been a really long time. And I am obviously missing something. But, if you don't recognize me. I may have an heart attack like that old guy in the Notebook," I mean, he was dead serious. I could tell.
Then she recognized him, too. She said she thought she was dreaming then uttered his name and passed the hell out. He caught her before she hit the ground. Romantic ass shit."
Michonne sniffed. Her boy was not her boy anymore. He was her niece's. Enid was not even in the running at the moment.
"That Enid girl is in trouble. I hope she know Jody took her man and gone," Sasha laughed not looking at Michonne's face. If she would have she would saw envy and sadness ever so slightly furrow her brow.
Goddamn, I feel irrational, she thought.
Sasha continued, "Remember that song, uh, mid-nineties rhythm and blues, uh. You may have had him once but I got'im all the time. Girl group. Ring a bell?"
"He's Mine by MoKenStef. I always hated that fucking song. It is childish. And do not count out Enid. She is plucky. I am beat. Goodnight," Michonne intentionally let the hilt of her blade hit Sasha on the forehead.
"Ow," she said.
"Girl, please, we both know you have had worse things in your face and I am not talking about walkers," she said playfully to her hide her rue.
"Whatever. Goodnight, haint," Sasha took it in stride and returned to her post.
However, she did pick up on two things, Michonne's feelings for her fine ass boyfriend's getting there son were not so innocent and her admiration for her brother rung false. After all, she took no pride in his namesake nor is she rooting for her niece to have Carl. Not really.
Rick was awake at the kitchen table with Judith and doctoring a beer.
"At least we still got one baby," Rick said feeling his girlfriend's presence without turning around.
He continued, "All she cares about it is where the next meal, toy or cuddle is coming from. Momma, Da-da and Budder. She refuses to pronounce Carl."
Judith spit out her sippy cup and said, "Where Budder?"
"Asleep," Rick laughed refusing to imagine what he was actually doing.
MIchonne scoffed and said, "He is asleep."
Judith pouted and closed her eyes again.
"Want me to take her?" Michonne asked sitting.
"Nah. I want to hold on to her as long as I can," he sighed.
"I hear you. So, I saw Enid running half-naked from the house. What happened?"
"I saw more of her than I ever wanted to. She thought I was him. I went into his room to get her binky and she turned on the light and yeah. I don't know who screamed louder me or her."
"That is terrible."
"She apologized profusely. She thought we were coming back later. She did not want to be the type of girlfriend who is disrespectful to her boyfriend's folks, she said."
"She knows where he is, right?"
"Yep. She gave him permission."
"How forward thinking of her," she said facetiously grabbing a beer of her own.
"Oh, my goodness. He is probably head deep between Jag's legs," he grimaced.
"Come on. If I have to hear about Carl's stroking or licking abilities one more time tonight, I am going to gauge my ears out."
"He, he told me things that I just never should have asked him. Between me and his Momma, my boy gets being freaky naturally but damn. Did you know him and Beth had a thing?"
"Really? Umph. When she died, he barely reacted. He just went outside and sat by the lake all day. Explains a lot though. I knew he had a crush on her. I used to tease him about it. They disappeared a lot. I just assumed they were friends not lovers."
"It is what it is. My son is a whore. I take it Jag told you the truth. The two of them interlocked?"
"Yes. Twice apparently. I would not call him a whore. It is probably the only time he does not hurt. His eye is still healing and it is an open wound."
"True. Why did they lie?"
"You heard her. She doesn't want to be labeled as a Jezebel seeking favor."
"I do not think of her that way. I know who she is or at least who she used to be. Jagadamba is one of those rare people where to know her is to love her. Unless you don't. Want to know the first thing Carl and Jagadamba did when they met at two?"
She nodded.
"They nearly jumped out of Lori and Jayne's arms reaching for one another. They set them down. Carl kissed her dead on the lips. I hurried up and got Carl. I thought Rod was going to punch him in the face. Get him away from my princess, he said. Your brother was a trip."
"He most certainly was or is. We do not know if he is dead or not."
"True. You Anthonys are clearly survivors."
A couple moments passed before Rick said with solemnity, "Found out something else, too."
Now Michonne could not tell which way this was going. So, she played it cool.
"What?"
"I knew Carl liked liked you but I did not know he was in love with you. I should've though. All the signs were there."
"I know he loves me. But, in love. I don't know. What signs?" She asked.
"Come on. You are intuitive. Surely, you have sensed something. I have. Now that I think of it. He has been especially pissy since we got together. The way he looks at you sometimes, if he were anyone else he would get punched. Right in the face. Hard. I can't blame him. I mean look at you. You are beautiful," he smiled.
She blushed and hid her face.
"Don't pretend you do not know. Want to know what he said about you?"
She nodded.
"He told me he loved you first. That I should've always chosen you. He felt like Jesse was a mistake. He stated correctly that you are a prize. Not a consolation. He said it insulted him that it took me so long basically. Is that how I made you feel? Did you say something to him or did he overhear something you told Sasha?" Rick asked pitifully.
"No. I never said that nor did it ever cross my mind. You are a hero. You saw Jesse as a damsel. You wanted to rescue her . . . with your penis," they both laughed.
MIchonne finished, "I wasn't exactly throwing out signals. How were you to know?"
The thought had crossed her mind but in passing. She did not like to dwell.
He hunched. Then a thought occurred to him. Why would Carl think he had a chance unless in some way no matter how small she must gave him some hope.
"Has Carl ever told you how he felt?" Rick asked not accusing her of anything. He just wanted to know.
Her eyes became as big as saucers.
She almost said huh? She knew that was the playing dumb equivalent of saying yes.
"After he corralled Deanna so Spencer could dispatch her and bury her. He said she deserved to be put down by someone that loved her and that he would do the same for me. Does that count?"
"That is sweet, I guess. But, you know what I mean. Did he tell you he was in love with you or that he felt something other than friendship? Come on, babe, don't make me pull teeth."
She stood up and turned her back to Rick. She decided to tell a half truth.
"Once. It was before he got shot. We weren't together then obviously. It was night. You were involved with Jesse. He tried to kiss me. I kicked him out my room. We avoided each other. Well, I avoided him. Sometime later, we talked about it. He told me how he felt was real. That he might be able to ignore it or push it down for a spell but he would never abandon it. He insisted."
"What did you say?" His face was starkly serious. She could hear it in his voice.
"I told him I love you with all my heart. I would die for you and I would kill for you. Murder the world if I had to but I can't love you the way you think you love me or the way you want. You have to learn just because you want to do something does not mean you should.
I told him he would forget all about me when he met a girl his age. Looks like I was, uh, I was right. Yep," she said rolling her eyes. She was still not facing him.
"Why didn't you say anything to me?"
"And what embarrass him and kill his trust? Hell, no. I handled it. And now he and I are cool again. He hugged me and told me he was glad I came back alive. So, no harm. No foul. This stays between us. Okay, Rick?"
Though, not entirely satisfied with the answer, Rick wanted to believe his dulcinea, so he did.
He still had one question that asked jokingly but really wanting to know, "Carl said you chose age over beauty. Is that true?"
She scoffed and said, "You know Carl's drunk and little mean. I heard him holler at you."
"Yeah. He did."
"What else did you two talk about?" She knew it was high time to change that subject.
"Other than you and his colorful sex life? Uh, Jagadamba and Enid. Which one he wants to be with."
"Is he confused?" She turned around.
"No. He wants Jag."
"Sucks to be Enid."
"Yeah. You should hear the way he talks about your niece. He sits up taller. His chest swells and I can see all his manhood just come upon him. He is in love with her. I mean like totally since they were children. He is even willing to basically raise her child. I think he would marry her if it came down to it."
"She is love with him, too. You are right. He does want to raise her daughter. In passing she said something about how Carly-Jayne was a daddy's girl without a dad and that she was scared for her because of that. He gave her his hat, at night anyway. Aw, I can't wait until you see her. She is beautiful. She is Children of the Corn white. Her hair is platinum coils. She does not look like she has a brown momma.
Anyway, Jagadamba is a really smart girl. She realizes what you said. She doesn't know if she is ready for what he wants. She knows he wants a family. Even with that said, she feels as deeply as he does. She cries and smiles when talks about him. They showed each other their scars."
"He told me. He said it was intimate."
"I didn't even know he knew that word."
"You know, Lori always said that the two of them were teenaged parents waiting to happen. At least I will be guaranteed beautiful grandchildren. I am pretty sure once they have the one, there will be others. The two of them will be like that old Pringles ad. Once you pop the fun don't stop."
"Won't stop. The fun won't stop," she gently corrected.
He laughed.
"I am scared," Rick admitted.
"For Carl?"
"Yes. I hope things work out the way he wants them to. I am not sure he would handle another disappointment well. He has so far. But, everyone has a limit. He deserves to get what he wants out this life whatever or whoever it may be."
Neither Rick nor Michonne wanted to really accept the fact one of the things he really wanted was still her.