Mr. Monk, the Lucky Man, Part II
GOOD JUDGMENT
Monk sat down and smiled with a pleasant and warm expression on his face. Dr. Kroger couldn't remember a time when Monk looked so comfortable in his surroundings.
"It is a beautiful day," Monk said, tipping his head to the window.
Dr. Kroger looked out at the thick, early February fog and shook his head, "some people might see it that way."
"I do."
"I'm happy to see you in such an agreeable mood, Adrian."
Monk just sat there and smiled.
"In the last few sessions you have talked about you and Natalie having a romantic encounter, and that was something you were feeling a bit anxious about. How are things now?" Dr. Kroger said.
"Better. I sat on the ground the other day," Monk said with a bit of pride. "Natalie took me to see some jazz in the park; we ate on the ground too, you know, outside."
The doctor tilted his head, "and you enjoyed this?"
"Well, I did because she was with me. I wouldn't do those kinds of things on my own, but she made it okay."
"That is wonderful to hear," Dr. Kroger said. "So does this mean the two of you dating?"
Monk had not thought about the terminology that goes along with forming a relationship, but now that the question was posed, he did not have an answer. "I don't know?" Monk said honestly, "we haven't talked about that."
"It sounds like it's implied if you two are spending romantic time together."
Monk said, "then I guess we are."
"This is a big step, Adrian. A good step."
"I'm still scared," Monk said with heaviness.
"Then you're human, and alive, and not alone. I'm sure Natalie is a little scared too."
Monk smiled, "she isn't scared of anything."
Dr. Kroger raised an eyebrow, "I bet she is scared of more than you know, I bet she worries more than you realize."
Monk stayed quiet and Dr. Kroger dared not interject.
Monk finally said, "last night I realized something that I always knew but never understood: I know I will never move on. Trudy's death tore from me what little sanity I ever claimed, and I go through every day in hopes to find and to fix. I come here, and see you, to try to help me in the process of moving on, but I shouldn't. I shouldn't try to move on because I won't."
"Now Adrian, that is not true."
"Let me finish."
Dr. Kroger nodded his head.
"Last night Natalie was talking about her husband, Mitch, and she was telling me about how much she misses him. She was saying everything I feel. But then she said that because of Julie, she had to move foreword with her life, but she didn't know if she would ever move on."
Dr. Kroger listened intently, but didn't say a word.
"I realized what I have been doing wrong," Monk said. "All this time I have thought about things in terms of moving on, but I've always known I can't and I don't want to. So I've been stuck. What she said made sense; I need to move forward, but I don't need to move on. I think I can do it with her."
"That is very profound," Dr. Kroger said.
"From now on, I just need to move forward."
Dr. Kroger smiled, "I think Trudy would be very proud of you."
Monk smiled as well, and let out a big, exasperated sigh as he whispered, "forward."
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"How are you feeling?" Natalie asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Like I jumped out of a plane and broke both of my legs," her brother, Jonathan said.
"What are you doing jumping out of a plane in the first place?"
"You sound like mom."
"I was just kidding," Natalie winced, "forget it."
Natalie looked around her brother's childhood bedroom—situated on the second floor of their parent's house—and was hit with nostalgia. "It was a lifetime ago when we would run around this house chasing each other and yelling at the top of our lugs."
He smiled and remembered, "good times."
"The best," Natalie agreed.
"Where is Julie?" Jonathan questioned.
"With mom, she is introducing her to the girls from the fundraising society."
"Poor kid. How could you let that happen?"
"Julie likes it because when she goes along with mom's antics, she gets a hundred dollar bill."
Jonathan laughed, "smart, I'm sure she gets her cleverness from Mitch."
"You're probably right," Natalie said.
"So how are you doing?" Jonathan asked.
"I'm fine, just getting along."
"You still work for that detective?"
"Yep, Adrian Monk."
"That's good and exciting. Are you seeing anyone between homicides?" Jonathan inquired.
"Yep," Natalie smiled, "Adrian Monk."
He wrinkled his brow, "you're dating your boss?"
"You make it sound like a bad thing."
"Because it is."
Natalie lowered her head, "I really like him, and I've grown to care for him very much."
"Do you like him because the two of you share common goals and interests, or do you like him because you're a woman and he's a man and there is nothing left to do but get together?" Jonathan rubbed a sore leg, "you're both widows and the two of you must spend more time together than apart, it was only a matter of time. Now all that's left to do is breakup and lose your job."
"Are you trying to be a jerk?"
"I'm looking out for you," he said with sensitivity.
"I know, but you could be a little nicer about it."
"Sorry." He took along pause, "what do you see in that guy? I think you could do better."
Natalie said, "You've only met him once, and first impressions are not his strength."
"Okay, but how many years does it take to get the right impression of him?"
"He is not as bad as you think," she said. "He is who he is; there is nothing false about him. Adrian may have a lot of shortcomings, but I know that. I never feel like he is trying to be someone different, but I see him trying to be a better him."
"Well that's all fine and good, I mean I don't hate the guy, but is he the kind of man that can be there for you and Julie?" Jonathan said, "you're job is to take care of him, will he assume that it will always be you taking care of him and he doesn't need to take care of you? "
"You're acting like I'm going to marry him." She said, "And I think he would take care of us, in fact he already does. He's taking Julie to the dance."
"Really?"
"Yeah, and he hates social situations and punch, but he's going. He's going because the idiot who was going to take my little girl to the dance jumped out of a plane without a parachute."
"I had a parachute," he said. "But one nice thing is not going to win me over."
Natalie frowned, "it's not you he needs to win over."
He smiled and took his sister's hand, "it should be."
She laughed, "I really like him." She said more seriously, "there are a million reasons why it would be easier and more logical for me not to get too involved with Adrian, but I can't help it—I think I could fall in love with him." She said that last few words slowly, surprised she said them aloud.
"Well," he paused. "You think you could be in love with him?"
"Yes."
"As long as you're happy," he said.
"I am."
"If you fall completely in love with him—and I mean completely—I'll know it's for the best. You tend to have good judgment when it comes to people. Unlike me."
Natalie laughed, "It's a gift."