Title: I'm Still Standing Here
Author: Avel
Summary: Duo befriends a new transfer student who has just escaped an abusive relationship. Sex, ED's, pain, and love, Duo's life will never be the same.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, nor do I make a profit from these works.
Pairings: 1x3, 6x2 (past: 1x4)
CD Player:Artist: Alkaline Trio
Album: Crimson
Most inspiring song(s): Burn
Artist: Coheed and Cambria
Album: Good Apollo I'm Burning Star IV: From Fear Through The Eyes Of Madness
Most inspiring song(s): Welcome Home, The Suffering
Artist: The Rasmus
Album: Dead Letters
Most inspiring song(s): In the Shadows, Guilty, Not like the other girls
Artist: 30 Seconds To Mars
Album: A Beautiful Lie
Most inspiring song(s): The Kill, The Story, A Modern Myth
This chapter is dedicated to Lady-Frisselle and Your Seraphim for proofing, arigato!
He was running, breath coming in pants as he hurled himself toward the door and ran past the bed, heading toward the closet. His young body pressed up against the corner of the closet as he pulled random objects of clothing close in an attempt to cover himself. His long loose hair falling in his face and cascading down his trembling shoulders as he tried desperately to keep his breathing quiet as he heard the low shuffle of feet against the carpet grow nearer.
The sound of an almost empty glass bottle clinking against the door as the person entered the room, low breathing and a few muffled growls, sent his heart racing painfully in his chest. A wave of nausea hit him strong as he bit down on his lip hard as he held his breath.
The closet door opened as he closed his eyes painfully tight.
"Get out." The low growl was the only warning he had as the man lunged forward with unanticipated speed, grabbing his arm harshly as he yanked him out of the closet.
"Duo?" came the soft whisper as he felt himself jolt awake with a painful gasp, dilated eyes adjusting to the living room and resting on Trowa's concerned face.
"Tro." He stated, willing his voice to not permit the tremor of fear he was experiencing.
"Dream?" Came the calm inquiry, as Trowa lowered himself to the ground. In all their time together he'd never seen Duo display any outward sign of fear, but he recognized it with out a doubt. It was in his eyes.
"Bad." Duo breathed, as he reached a hand up to comb his fingers through his hair and was startled to notice that his hand was quivering.
"What are you doing up?" He asked, biting his lower lip in habit. "You have a fever."
"It died down." Trowa murmured, raising an arm to grasp the arm of the couch, using it to pull himself up as he turned and entered the kitchen. He knew Duo wouldn't tell him unless it was on his terms and when he was ready. There was no point in trying to pry for the information.
"The Cough?" Duo called after him.
"Stopped breathing." Came the soft reply as Trowa returned holding two glasses of water. He handed one to Duo as he took a large gulp of his own, a wince spreading across his face immediately after he finished.
Meeting Duo's curious stare, he offered an emphasized reply.
"Disgusting."
"Serves you right for getting sick."
"You sound like Heero."
"Great minds think alike."
"Fuck you." Trowa smiled.
"Heero'd kill me." Duo replied evenly, a gentle smirk lingering as he felt the tension from the nightmare ease.
"By the way, where is Heero?" Duo asked, watching as Trowa nodded toward the door, new lock and all.
"Out buying me meds." Trowa sighed.
"You two make too big a fuss." He winked at Duo.
"Just wait until you faint again, then we'll talk."
"Hn." Trowa smiled, as he turned to head down the hall, allowing Duo to trail after him.
"What should I wear?" Trowa murmured, as he rummaged in his side of the closet, a couple belts, ragged jeans, striped pants and a pile of tanks of various colors littered the floor of the closet, a few jackets remained on the hangers that hadn't fallen into the mess.
"You mean you actually plan out your outfits? And here I thought you threw on whatever was in the hamper." Duo mocked as he sat at the edge of Trowa's bed.
"Ever consider that that was my intent?" Trowa asked softly as he grabbed a black hooded sweatshirt and a pair of ragged grey sweats. Taking another swift look around, he swiped a white tank, which he proceeded to carry into the bathroom.
On the edge of the bed Duo fidgeted a bit uncomfortably, he wanted to talk to Trowa, be as open as his friend had been with him, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. How could he bring that up? Knowing what Trowa had been through.
His mind flashed back to the club and the figure at the bar, feeling his resolve weaken. How could it have been him? He felt himself shiver as a cold dread enveloped him. I killed him.
"How the hell did I get myself into this?" Zechs moaned as he sunk into his bed, pale blond strands turned a light shade of off-white in the moonlit room. It hadn't even been a week since his little sister had moved in. The awkwardness had arrived with her luggage, and had continued to settle in along with her. She wasn't a nuisance, nor did she intrude on his personal matters. It was her damn silence that caused him to stress.
What type of relationship did they have? So far their only encounters were brief words of greeting as they passed each other in the hall or when they decided on meals. Neither felt the need to start up a conversation considering they didn't know what to say. So they ignored each other as necessary. Awkward.
He let his mind wander as he continued to gaze at the white ceiling above him.
Duo.
Sighing, he mentally asked, So what about Duo?
He hadn't seen Heero's new houseguest since that night, but that hadn't stopped him from thinking about the amethyst-eyed boy. Indeed, he was curious about the boy, wanted to learn more about him, wanted to see him again. He didn't understand why he was so transfixed on Duo in particular, but he didn't ignore the fact that he was attracted to him. Though he had only seen him in the dim light of the club, his eyes and smile left him more than intrigued.
Turning on his side he allowed a dark chuckle escape his lips. Had it really been that long? Long enough to want to take a teenager to bed with him?
No. You want what he has. His mind voiced softly.
You want to have what Heero has with Trowa.
Blue eyes. A pale turquoise hue; like glass. Dolls eyes, she thought softly as she stared at the mirror in her brother's guest room.
They were tinted with the lamplight and she recognized the color to be a bright clear yellow-green. Chlorine. Her mind suggested.
A cold smile crept across her face. Poison.
She felt the smile harden as she remembered Thursday's incident. No. She wouldn't think about that right now. Balance and stability were to be her focus. She would get a grip on this. She had to.
It truly is a small world, she thought lightly as her fingers gripped the thin cotton material of her tank, pulling it off and over her head as she stood.
Both of them were there.
She stripped off her pants as she entered the adjoining bathroom, leaving the clothes in a pile on the tile floor as she made her way to the bathtub. Turning the faucet on she sat lightly on the edge of the tub as it started to fill with water.
They know Milliardo's friend.
Feeling the moist steam surround her, she slid off her underwear and un-strapped her bra. Sinking into the water she felt the uncomfortable burn as she adjusted to the water temperature. She laid back, dunking her head in the water. Listening to the gentle gurgle of water she released a breath. Bubbles trailing to the top in a rush as the quiet calm of the water relaxed her.
He's interesting.
Her eyes opened suddenly. Why was she thinking about him? The light gleamed across the calm surface of the water as she examined her surroundings. Her skin was pale, the water clear and tinted as she glanced at the surrounding walls of the tub.
Feeling the sudden urge for breath nagging at her she reappeared, breaking the surface in a smooth action. A large gasp for air met her ears as water dripped from her hair, a few large gulps of air rocked her chest with the labored breathing.
His eyes are like mine.
She abruptly stood allowing the water to rush and spill off her naked form. Stepping out of the tub she grabbed a towel from the back of the door and threw it over herself, rubbing vigorously at her body and hair. Grabbing a new pair of underwear from the dresser across from her bed, she slipped it on and slid into bed. Her body tensed as she finished her train of thought.
Dead.
The sounds of glass shattering and a tight grip around his tiny form brought the violet-eyed seven year-old boy out of the dark grip of unconsciousness. His face burning with the compressed heat as his vision cleared on the yellow-orange flames, embers sprinkling the fire across the dark smog of smoke consuming the available oxygen. The sounds of yelling and hurried footfalls were drowned out by the quickened beat of his heart pounding in his ears like Taiko drums. He felt his eyes sting and water as the heat and smoke rushed past him and his savior.
He felt his heart stop, a tight clenching in his chest causing him to let out a frightened sob as his mind flashed to one unnerving thought.
Where was Sister Helen?He watched in cold dread as they were rushing toward a collapsing door and he still had no idea where Sister Helen was. Was she hurt, was she safe, or was she outside waiting for him? He felt himself tense as they hurtled out into the cool night air. Coughing began as the sudden rush of oxygen mingled with the thick smoke already inhaled inside the burning building.
He stared wide-eyed, as the church seemed to crumple and dissolve right in front of his eyes, until it was no more, laying in ashes in a smoking and blazing heap. He continued to stare, distantly registering the gruff voices of fireman as they moved away from the ruins.
"The damn thing was too old, it burned like a match the moment the flames spread." A voice growled sympathetically.
"How many were in there?" Another asked in a bewildered voice.
"From what we can tell, there had to be about twenty people trapped inside the congregational room. The fire moved too quickly, those poor souls were surrounded! The moment the second story ceiling collapsed, those still remaining would've been crushed." The man holding him stated weakly.
"Are you trying to tell me this boy's the only survivor?" The first man asked incredulously.
"I'm afraid so, poor boy." Came the soft reply as the man that held him turned his face away from the still burning cremations of bodies and wood.
"Hey kiddo, can you tell me your name?" The man asked gently.
Dead? They couldn't possibly be dead. Not all of them. Wasn't it Father Maxwell who had told him that the Maxwell Church was a house of God? God wouldn't let one of his houses and his followers burn to death would He? How could God let a Priest burn to death in His own church? Why hadn't God saved them?
A lump in his throat and the burning in the back of his eyes were held back through sure determination. He blinked as he remembered Father Maxwell's gentle baritone. Boys don't cry.
"Duo, Duo Maxwell." He stated, voice void of all emotion. Eyes empty and clouded as he turned his face toward the news station reporters and ambulances arriving on the devastating scene. Cameras were flashing and excited voices clipping the silent anguish from the earlier massacre.
And that's what they ended up calling it, the Maxwell Church Massacre. The day that twenty innocent victims, including eight orphans, a priest, and a nun were burned alive inside their very own church. The tragedy of that day lived on for several months because of the simple fact that this had been no accident. Someone had intentionally locked the victims inside and lit them on fire. A gruesome and horrific hate crime was slandered across the work of this disturbed mastermind. While others argued that this was an act of a deranged arsonist, or the work of a serial killer.
The irony, when they eventually found the culprit, was that this had been done as an act of God, or so the man had claimed. Clinically insane, the man had believed that he had been following orders from the Lord himself and had committed this act in God's will. "A rebirth, for those who truly worshiped Him gained salvation." He hadn't done this in spite or anger, but had merely acted on God's behalf and allowed His worshippers the chance to join Him in the great kingdom above. God had tested him.
His trial lasted one month. More for publicity than for anything else Duo had thought bitterly as he had been tossed around different foster homes. This insane man met his fate, when he was executed by an outraged citizen on the day of the initial sentencing. Duo, however, had felt that the man had gotten off too easily, despite his tender age.
"I'm sorry about this morning."
Duo jumped slightly as he came back to reality.
"I shouldn't have acted out that way. It was a stupid reaction on my part." Trowa finished as he took a seat next to Duo.
"I won't deny that you freaked me out a bit." Duo gave a nervous smile.
"What happened?" Duo asked softly, his fingers finding themselves entangled in the end of his braid.
"Incoherent thought." Trowa replied smoothly. "I have issues, he should have told me HE was coming."
"I should have told you earlier." Duo sighed.
"No, Heero knew better."
"But he's allowed to make mistakes." Duo smiled.
"If you say so." Trowa smirked.
"You really okay, now?" Duo asked seriously.
"What happened at the club?" Trowa asked in return, allowing Duo the chance to either back down or continue with the personal interrogation.
He knew Trowa was testing him so he decided to answer.
"I saw someone." He answered evenly.
"Too vague." Trowa replied in a clipped tone, standing abruptly.
"Tro wait." Duo grabbed his wrist as he stood. Acting on impulse he threw his arm around Trowa's back and pulled him into a hug.
"We both have personal demons, we just deal with them differently." Duo whispered. "Understand?"
"Then don't push me and I won't push you." Trowa stated softly. "Deal?"
"Deal." Duo smiled. Though deep inside, he felt that this was a promise that he wouldn't be able to keep.
"I'm going to go get some tissues," Trowa said abruptly. Leaving Duo calling after him as Trowa disappeared into the bathroom.
"The Cough has returned?" Duo called mockingly.
Muffled coughing and a few sounds of Trowa blowing his nose met his ears in reply.
Duo returned to his previous train of thought. He'd made a deal with Trowa that he wouldn't push or pry, but he was unsure if he'd be able to keep it.
As Trowa made his way out of the bathroom a look of exhaustion and pain crossed his handsome features.
"You wanna' lie down?" Duo asked encouragingly.
"Don't baby me, I'm not a fucking pussy." Trowa said in a dark tone that was quickly replaced with a horrified whisper.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." Trowa looked worriedly at Duo.
Duo recognized the stance that Trowa had taken when his words had registered in his mind. He was cowering, afraid of a punishment that would've happened had he been talking to Wufei.
"I'm not him." Duo stated softly. Though internally a question was raised.
Just how much of Trowa did he really know?
"I know." Trowa breathed, as he gave Duo a shaky smile. Duo would have pressed the matter further but his own self-induced motto stopped him from prying.
I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie.
A/N: Damn. Half of this was written months ago. How ironic it was to have caught the same damn illness that struck me before. However, that did help me remember the symptoms for Tro's illness. Anyway, I just couldn't find a way to end the chapter. Oh well fuck it, right? I was finally able to create a plot for this fic. I found it rather amusing that people have been commenting on how much they liked how the story line was developing, whether it was about characters and situations, or just plain plot. Considering I had no true story line or plot at the time, it definitely brought a smile to my face. Going back to my original train of thought, I have indeed developed a plot, so there is a reason for why these characters are being portrayed certain ways. I apologize for this taking so long to update, it definitely was not my intention to produce a chapter so many months after the last update.
And though I finished this on Halloween, Happy belated Halloween. My outfit kicked ass.
Comments: for my 10 reviewers!
Clingy: I'm glad you caught on to what I'm trying to portray with this fic, hopefully it will continue to do so.
Jenihenpen: Hopefully you'll continue to enjoy how I illustrate these characters, hope you like the chapter.
No One: Oh you'll continue to see more…and more.
Ratlover: Seems to be my specialty lately doesn't it? Running a high on Trowa angst that is. But in all honesty he's only been having a couple rough days.
Zakai: Loved the new chapter (intensely), sorry I didn't get around to reviewing chap. 14, I wasn't in a healthy mindset to do so. But I will be reviewing ch.15 sometime soon. I wanted to give a brief intro into Tro's mindset, so I'm happy that it impacted you. When the ED is addressed later on and is described with more detail, I hope that the impact on the reader will be much stronger. I really want this to feel like a "kick in the gut", when this fic is all over. Yes, I really had enough with everyone saying "Trowa this, Trowa angst that." Duo is the main character and I wanted this chapter to remind the reader. Hopefully it worked? Ja matte ne.
Bloody eyes: Thanks for the comment, if only I could just design the bar and email you all pictures, lol. I'd be a damn good interior decorator, if I weren't so interested in computer arts new media.
Left Blank: Well, I'm glad that you like where it's going, lol. Aww don't be too harsh on him, he's only been like that for what? Four days? Stick around and you'll see why I made him like that.
Someone Special: I know you're not reading this. Yep, same Jag that I drew in Ap.
Lady-Frisselle: All are so down on Q. Who knows, this might be explained. Thanks for proofin' it! There were a couple things that I couldn't let go of ; I would have left the flashbacks italicized, but it seemed pretty pointless considering I've already revealed character thoughts to be strictly italicized. Also the fact that the flashbacks before hand were left alone, I thought it'd be best to just leave em'.
Cardcaptor Soldier: Those adventures would be pretty damn morbid, lol. Keep reading.