The room was warm and dead silent. Alexandria could hear the door click behind her.
"What is this place?" Alex asked as she looked around at the bookcases and another desk that was up in the center of the room. There was a chair on one side and two visitors' chairs on the other.
"It's like a private office." Remus obliged, "Please Alex, sit."
Alex sat in one of the brown leather visitor chairs on one side of the desk as Lupin took a seat on the other side. Silence set in and Remus began to swirl his wand in his hand as Alex began to tap her fingers across her leg, while looking down at her lap.
With a deep breath, Remus began:
"I know how you feel."
"—no you don't." Alex cut in.
He continued, "I'm not going to just sit here and apologize, that's not going to do anything. It's not going to change how you feel about me. It's not going to change what happened. But the least I can do is to try and explain myself."
"What is there to explain Remus?" Alex jolted, "You weren't there!"
"ONE TIME!" he yelled.
"IT ONLY TAKES ONE TIME FOR SOMETHING TO GO WRONG! FOR SOMEONE TO GET HURT!"
"You don't think I don't know that!" he yelled, standing and pushing the chair out from under him. "I know better than anyone that it only takes one time Alex!"
"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN!"
"I'M A—"He caught his words.
"A WHAT!"
"Nothing." He covered up, turning away from Alex and peering out the window. "Never mind."
"SERIOUSLY! WHAT HAPPENED TO NO MORE SECRETS?" Alex stood, frustrated.
Remus didn't respond. He continued to look out the window, contemplating what he was about to say next. He bit his bottom lip and burrowed his eyebrows.
Alex couldn't stand it any longer. With a large grunt, she kicked the chair out from beside her and made her way to the door.
"I'm done with you!" She yelled as she swung the door open.
In a faint whisper, without looking back, Remus clenched his eyes, "I'm a werewolf."
Over the still silence, Alex heard him perfectly. She froze and her eyes grew wide.
Remus turned and faced her, scared of her reaction. A million thoughts were running through both of their minds.
Suddenly, Alexandria did something that shocked Remus and even herself. She turned around slowly, closing the door behind her. She stared at him, looking sympathetic.
"Really?" her hoarse voice whispered.
He faintly nodded and in one leap, one quick run, Alex strapped her arms around Remus in a tight embrace.
Confused, Remus reluctantly hugged her back.
"You—you're okay with it?" He asked.
"Well no," She unwrapped her arms from him, looked deep into his eyes, and smiled, "But I think if you're gunna come up with a lame, half ass excuse then at least it was a funny one."
"WHAT!" Remus screamed.
"Look, you don't have to make excuses. We can work this out. Just tell me the truth you don't have to lie—"
"I'M NOT LYING!"
"A werewolf? Really?" Alex asked skeptically and with a bit of an attitude.
"Get out." Remus replied sternly, pointing towards the door in anger "GET OUT NOW!"
"What! WHY! Alex exclaimed.
"BECAUSE I TELL YOU MY MOST DIVULDGED SECRET AND YOU THINK IT'S A FUCKING JOKE!" Lupin yelled as he progressed towards her.
Alex backed up as Remus's temperature rose. She began to back away, reaching behind herself for the wall or the door or something.
"It's—it's true?" Alex trembled, "You—you aren't joking?"
"NO IT'S NOT A FUCKING JOKE! YOU'RE SO AGRIVATING!"
"I'm so sorry! I didn't know! I'm so sorry!" she cried as she leaped over to grasp him in a hug, "I'm sorry! I didn't—I should've known! I'm so sorry!"
Remus's heart beat was rapid but quickly cooled as her hands wrapped around him and rested on his back.
"It's probably better if you just leave" He said as he pushed them apart. With tears welling up in her eyes, Alex stared at him, sadden.
"No, I want to stay." She whispered.
"I think our relationship is over Alexandria." He stated back, choking back his own tears.
All of the sudden, without hesitation, Alex raised her hand and smacked it across his face. Surprised, he reached up for his now throbbing cheek.
In a harsh tone, she spoke between tears, "How DARE you. I made a mistake. You did too. Instead of running away like cowards, let's fix this."
"There's nothing to fix." He told. "It's over."
"You don't believe that" She threatened
"You don't know what I bel—"
Alex cut him off by grabbing his face and forcing it to hers. Divulging all the anger and passion she had and transferring it to his body, Alex kissed. Deeply. With everything she had.
Pulling away slightly, she kept her face close and peered into his eyes. Her lips were still brushing up against his as she talked, "Tell me, still, that you want this to be over."
"I—I—I want this to be ov—" He started.
Alex cut him off yet again with another kiss. This one was strong enough to push Remus back a bit towards his desk. He reached out his hands behind him and grabbed the edge of the desktop. Alex leaned in, still passionately kissing him.
She let go of his mouth and face.
After seconds passed, Remus spoke first, "You shouldn't have to live with me being what I am."
"Says you." She giggled lightly, "I can decide for myself what and who I have to live with"
"So, you're okay with this?" he questioned.
"I guess I'm going to have to be if we wanna make this work" she smiled.
"And you still want to make this work?" he sincerely questioned.
"No."
"No?"
"WE want to make this work." She admitted, "I can see it in your eyes."
Remus couldn't help but smile.
He started, "You forgive me? For not being there? For being a jerk? For not telling you…about my—my problem?"
"I do, but only if you forgive me."
"Of course I do." He smiled, "Although, you pack a mean slap"
"You should see my right-hook" Alex winked. Lupin busted out laughing.
Becoming serious once more, Remus took Alex by the hands and looked at her sincerely, "I don't deserve your forgiveness. I'm a wretched monster. You shouldn't be with me. I could hurt you. I don't deserve you."
Alex put her forefinger to his lips with a soft smile
"I'm going to love you when you least deserve it," she murmured. "Because that's when you need it the most"
His face lit up, "Did—did you just say what I think you just said?"
"Uhm..," Alex realized what word she used, widened her eyes, and began to look all around, avoiding his question. With a chuckle, Remus lifted her lips to his by her chin and deeply, slowly, and softly kissed her. At the end of the kiss, he pressed his forehead against hers.
"I love you too," he whispered with a smirk.
Alex began to laugh and laugh. She then continually placed quick pecks on his lips as a smile rose on her own. Pushing him over on the desk, she climbed on top of him. Straddling him, she lifted her left eyebrow in excitement.
"We have a lot to work out." She smirked as she reached over to unbutton his shirt.
He grabbed her wrists, and lifted an eyebrow with a smirk, "Sex is not the answer, Alex"
"You're right. Sex is not the answer." She agreed. "Sex is the question and the answer is yes."
Lupin chuckled as he gave into her indiscretions. Letting her continue to unbutton his sweater once more, he leaned back and took in every inch of her beauty. Once his top was bare, Alex ran her fingertips down each scar, this time knowing what they were from.
Pausing in her actions, "Does it hurt…when you…transform?"
"Sometimes" He shrugged, running his hand down and caressing the side of her face.
"Oh, baby" she sympathized, lowering down for a kiss.
Unbuckling his pants and pulling them off, Alex lowered herself down Remus's body. He grunted and pushed on her head. And so they began...
As time passed, the intensity grew. Alex found herself moaning when her back was rubbed up against the grain of the wood as her body was being shoved up and down the top of the desk. Pounding and growing in ecstasy together the two came to an end with one final blow and a collapse on the desk.
Sliding to the floor, naked, the two of them snuggled. Laying her head on his chest, Alex could hear every beat of Remus's heart and how it was on the decline from their very fast paced sex encounter moments before. He ran his hand through her hair over and over.
"I want to know about it." Alex confessed.
"About…my..?" He started.
"Yes."
"Well it's a rough transition. Luckily they've come up with new pain solutions the past few years."
"Wolfsbane" Alex whispered to herself.
"Mmmhm" Lupin agreed. "Before, it wasn't so easy. I had to be secluded in order to not hurt anyone."
"How?" Alex turned her head towards him, resting her chin on her hands, which were folded atop his chest.
"Well, when I was here at Hogwarts as a student, I was sent to the shack."
"The Shrieking Shack?"
"Yes." He smiled as he watched Alex's face while her brain made the connections.
"Are you the reason…they call it the…Shrieking Shack…in the first place?" She questioned.
"I am." He nodded.
"Cause you'd scream?" She slightly winced, not wanting to believe it.
"I didn't scream. I shrieked." He joked, noticing her small smile, he continued with a more serious tone, "It used to be a very painful process."
"But it's not anymore…because of the…Wolfsbane potion?"
"Exactly"
"So I'm safe around you" she smiled.
"I don't want to risk it. Even with the Wolfsbane, you never know. I'd rather not have you around during those times." He pleaded, watching her face fall.
"Yeah, I understand." She pouted.
"If I hurt you, I could never live with myself Alexandria." He confessed, running his hand down her face. "You're just too special."
"It's because you love me" She joked.
"I suppose it is" he chuckled.
After a few moments of the lovely silence, Remus decided it was time to talk. So both got up and got dressed. Removing themselves from the private office, Remus led Alex through the classroom, into the hallway, and back to his living quarters.
Once in, they both moved to the bed. Lupin rested his back upon his headboard. Alex sat cross-legged on the other end. She slowly began to remove his shoes, making him lift an eyebrow. She just simply smiled.
Once both shoes and socks were off, she scooted a bit closer so his foot could rest in her lap. She then began to massage. Remus closed his eyes with a smile on his face.
Eyes still closed, he asked, "Were you really that scared of Sirius Black?"
"Yes. One of my greatest fears is intruders."
"Intruders?"
"Robbers, thieves, you know breaking into my house, stealing my stuff, raping me and what not."
Remus let out a snort of laughter. Alex pinched his foot.
"Ow!" he stoked, sitting straight up.
"Don't make fun of my fears!"
"Raping you? Really Alex?"
"Okay, it's a bit extreme…but it could happen."
"Alright, I'll give you that much." He laughed, leaning back down.
"Anyway, it's one thing for a murderer to be set out on the loose. It's another thing to have that said murderer in your house."
"Your house?" he asked, sincerely confused.
"Hogwarts is my home" Alex smiled.
"I feel the same way sometimes, that Hogwarts is my home." He understood. "I've always felt this way, especially when I was your age.
At that last comment, Alex stopped rubbing Remus's feet and looked up. He too had stopped relaxing and had opened his eyes and sat a bit straighter.
"Whoa" Alex acknowledged.
"Yeah, I know." He gazed in shock.
After moments of silence passed, Alexandria busted out laughing.
"Did it really just set in that we're not the same age?" she said between breaths.
"Crazy, huh?" He spoke between his own laughter.
"ANYWAY…" Alex geared away, changing to a more serious tone, from the subject of their obvious age gap. "I think there is something we should discuss."
"There are a lot of things we need to discuss, Alex" He smiled.
"I know." She stated calmly, returning to Lupin's foot massage "But this one should be the first."
"Okay" he said a bit concerned, "What is it?"
"I—I love you Remus."
"I know. I love you too."
"But, this is getting old."
"What is?" he spoke frantically.
"This one minute were happy the next minute we hate each other crap"
"I've never hated you." He stated calmly.
"You know what I mean." She sighed, "It's a constant rollercoaster."
"I know. I've been thinking about it a lot myself."
"I just feel like, is it always going to be this way? Is it ever going to stop?"
"Yes." He shortly stated.
Alex looked up, Remus continued, sitting up on the other side of the bed. "Right now. No more secrets. No more lies. No more issues. I say we put it all on the table, right here, right now."
"And then what?" Alex questioned.
"And then we live happily ever after" He said, as he crawled across the bed and kissed her forehead.
"Nah, that's too boring." She laughed.
"Happiness is never boring." He indulged.
"Correction: TRUE Happiness is never boring." She smiled. "Fake fairy tale happiness is always boring."
With a sigh and a smile, he grabbed her hands, "Fine then. Alexandria Whitten. Will you commit to this spur of the moment plan I just made up in my mind five seconds ago to repair our relationship?"
"I will." She grinned.
"And would you like to spend the rest of our time here on earth living together in TRUE Happiness, as you so call it?"
"I would." She again smiled.
"Then by the powers invested in me, I say we just might have a relationship on our hands" Remus Lupin genuinely laughed alongside Alex.
Yawning, Alex asked, "Can we wait till morning though? I'm a bit tuckered out from yelling and putting your ass in check all night."
"Is that a sexual innuendo? Because if it was, I'm pretty sure I was the one who was putting YOUR ass in check all night" he winked.
"No, I was referring to me putting you in your place tonight" she smirked.
"You hardly put me in my place." He scoffed.
Climbing to the top of Remus's bed, Alex placed herself underneath the covers.
"I got you to say I love you first." She smirked once more.
"YOU SAID IT FIRST!" he accused.
"No, no. I said the word LOVE. You on the other hand said, 'I love you' not the same thing."
"Too, I said I love you TOO. Insinuating that you said it first."
"Your insinuation was false though. I never said that I loved you."
"You just did."
"That doesn't count!"
"So you don't?"
"I do! But—"
"Your argument is invalid. I win." He laughed, like a little school boy.
"Whatever." Alex gave in, defeated.
"Does this mean you are spending the night?" he provoked as he noticed she was already wrapped up in his bed, snuggled tight.
"Can I?"
"I don't see why not." He gently leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"I should warn you, I talk in my sleep."
"I know. You did last time."
"I DID! What did I say!" Alex bulged out her eyes.
"Something along the lines of, 'Oh Remus you're so sexy. Oh Remus you're the best. Oh Remus I just lov—" Alex hit him with a pillow.
"You're the biggest liar ever." She pouted.
"You're the cutest liar ever." He tried.
"I'm not a liar!"
"You tried to convince me that you didn't love me just a moment ago."
"That wasn't being a liar, that was being a—a—"
"A what?" he smirked.
"I can't think of the word right now" she said tightly and quickly, "but you best believe that when I do, you, Remus Lupin, are in for a real treat."
"Oh am I?" he teased, leaning over her and kissing her lips, "I can't wait."