BROKEN WINGS

CHAPTER 10: NEVER THE SAME

Tami let out a shaky breath that she didn't realize she'd been holding. J.D. had fallen silent and his eyes drifted leisurely to their linked hands, as if noticing for the first time that she had taken his in hers to give him support as he told her what he remembered. She followed his gaze and brought her other hand to rest on top of his, cradling his bruised and swollen fingers in her palms, like a fragile, little wounded animal she longed to protect and heal. She ran her thumb along the back of his hand that was exposed under the temporary cast they'd bound around his arm, and she wished she could shelter the rest of him as easily as his hand.

"He didn't mean to," he finally whispered, his voice hoarse.

She shook her head, her gaze shifting from their hands to his face. His recounting of events had made something rancid coat her stomach like sour milk, and his statement made it begin to curdle. "How can you say that?"

J.D.'s eyes slid back to hers, as clear and translucent as if she'd known him since he was a toddler. She knew he was lying, even if he didn't. "He wouldn't have done it if he wasn't drunk."

The line between her brows deepened. "Darling, you know that's not true."

"Tami?" he asked, his brows lifting a little in a silent plea. "You won't tell the police, will you?"

She shook her head, feeling his pitiful expression cutting her inside. "I have to."

"No, they'll put him in prison." He took a shallow breath, his eyes beginning to shimmer. "He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't –"

"He nearly killed you."

"But he saved me, too. He called the ambulance. He tried to help me."

Tami squeezed his hand. "You think he did that because he was sober?"

J.D. nodded, and his desperation to cling to some remnant of affection was so obvious that she felt her heart ache. "See, that's what I mean. When he's sober, he's fine. He didn't really mean any of it."

Tami studied him, realizing she was biting her lip. She let go of his hand and straightened in her chair. "Do you know what the doctor told me?"

He shook his head.

"Do you know why you had to have surgery? Because you were beaten so badly that your broken ribs had stabbed into your lungs, into your stomach, into your liver. You were in surgery for hours."

Fear was creeping over the boy's face, tensing his features, but she knew she had to continue.

"Your dad did that to you, J.D. He hurt you so bad... then he left you there. He left you there bleeding to death inside."

She could see that his breathing was hitching in his chest and the lie was retreating from his eyes.

"He left you to die. And before they could even operate they had to warm you up, because you had hypothermia from being out in the cold so long and losing so much blood. Do you hear me, J.D.?"

He swallowed hard, tears pooling in his eyes as his nostrils flared.

"It's a miracle that you're alive." She reached out and tucked a wayward curl behind his ear. "Thank God for that. But I don't think you understand how close you came to dying."

He blinked, trying to clear his eyes to little avail. "I..." he squeaked. "I don't like to think about it. I get so scared."

"You were saved for a reason, hun," Tami said, resting her hand against his cheek, feeling the soft prickle of stubble. "God must have something special planned for you."

He swallowed hard again, his eyes still shimmering. "I don't believe in God."

"That's fine, and if you don't feel like you survived for a reason, give yourself one. You're gonna live a remarkable life, J.D. I just know it." She smiled warmly and thought she caught his lips shyly returning the expression before worry marred his features again.

"You have to promise not to tell."

She let her hand fall away, shaking her head. "I can't do that."

"Please?" He rested his good hand on top of hers.

Tami let out a deep breath. "How is this not getting through to you, sweetie? You will be lucky if you can play football at this time next year. Lucky. It breaks my heart to say it, but you are going nowhere with football. It's over. All those dreams you had are gone. And it's all because of your father."

A tear escaped his good eye and Tami had to fight past the tightness of her throat to continue.

"Do you understand now why I have to tell the police? That man broke you in every way he could. Nothing's ever going to be the same again."

He tried to take a deep breath that sounded more like a sniffle. He glanced around the room then to the phone, as if hunting for an escape. "Can I call my mom? Please?" A sob slipped out as he spoke. "Can't she just come back? I love her so much."

"I know you do, sweetheart, and she does, too." Tami took a moment to swallow past the lump in her throat, feeling her eyes begin to sting, fighting back tears. She didn't want to cry in front of him again. She wanted to be strong to give him something stable in a world fallen into chaos. "But you have to face this on your own."

"I can't," he squeaked.

"Listen – your mom's getting treatment right now at a hospital. She had a little bit of a breakdown and is getting the help she needs."

His expression turned incredulous. "She's crazy?"

"Absolutely not." Tami shook her head. "She just needs a little extra help right now, like you do. That's why I'm here, sweetheart."

His lower lip trembled as he studied her for a few moments. "But I want my real mom."

She smiled despite the tear she had to wipe from her eye before it could fall. "I know, and you'll get her back soon, but will you let me be your fake mom for a while?"

"Fake?"

"Maybe like an aunt?"

Her question had distracted him enough to stop the trembling of his lip and he nodded a little. "Okay, I guess."

"I ain't trying to replace anyone, you know that, right?"

He nodded, looking calmer, then screwed his eyes shut as he did his best to curl up on his side. His voice was a whisper. "He's all I have left."

Tami slowly shook her head, not knowing what else to say to convince the boy of just how dangerous his father was. "J.D. –"

"When he'd tuck me in every night, he'd read me a story," he murmured. "He used to give me head rides and I'd feel like the tallest person on earth. We'd go to the beach in the summer and play catch on the sand. He's not a bad person."

"He hurt you, J.D."

"Yeah, but..." He shifted a little so that his shoulders were against the pillows. "It's not like that. He only spanked me when I was little and I'd done something wrong. He's not mean like that – he wouldn't just snap and hit me. I mean, sometimes he'd get real mad and my mom would take me for a drive with her, or send me to my room, and when we'd come back, he'd always apologize. He just has a bad temper. He has a stressful job."

"And what about everything else he's done?" Her anger at Joe and the hold he still had on his child, despite being far away, was lending her voice and convictions strength. "What about forcing you and Madison to break up? What about pushing you so hard that you started to snap? What about the way he tries to control every aspect of your life like you're a god-damn puppet?"

J.D. swallowed hard. "He just wants me to succeed."

"No, he's measuring his success by how well you do, which is insecure and ridiculous."

He furrowed his brow. "You just hate him."

Tami held out her palms. "You know what? I do. I do because I love you and he tried to kill you and almost succeeded. So I'm sorry if I can't see him for the nice man you've known. All I see is a murderous monster and I don't want him anywhere near you."

J.D.'s eyes danced over her face, the tension and worry joined by a light she couldn't place but was akin to wonder, and she waited for him to bark back a defense that didn't come. "Okay." he sighed.

Tami blinked in surprise, taking a split second to try to figure out how the hell she'd gotten the stubborn boy to change his mind after such a battle. Thinking back to what she had just said, she realized she'd disarmed him with the word "love," and the thought made her throat constrict. She wished he wasn't injured, for she wanted nothing more than to hug the affection-starved child as tightly as she could. "Okay?"

"I'll tell them what happened... but I don't want anything bad to happen to him."

She gently squeezed his healing fingers. "He's sick, J.D. He needs to know he has a problem so that he can get better for you. You're doing the right thing, hun, even though it hurts like hell."

His voice was a whisper. "I hope so."

"It might not be clear right now, but in time it will be. You just have to trust me. Have I ever let you down?"

He shook his head no and she saw that the tears that had pooled in his eyes were gone. He liked tired and sad, and she knew he needed to sleep, even if just for an escape from the stress.

"Are you gonna be all right here tonight?"

"I'm used to it by now."

"You're not gonna punch any doctors in the nose?"

He smiled a little and shook his head.

She returned the smile and rose, stooping to kiss him on the forehead before gathering her things. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

He nodded and shifted as much as he could to watch her leave. Tami's hand was on the door handle when she heard his soft voice. "Hey Tami?"

She glanced back at him over her shoulder. "What is it, hun?"

"I love you, too."

Tami grinned, feeling the tension and anger lingering inside vanish, and she knew in that moment that J.D. wasn't the only one who would never be the same again. "Sweet dreams, hun." She opened the door and stepped out into the busy hallway. The more she neared her car, the more her blessed sensation was warped. Though she knew J.D. wouldn't be happy with her emphasizing Joe's faults, she had to. The teen had felt like one of her own for a while now, but knowing that he accepted and returned her affection solidified her sentiments. She had to talk herself out of stopping by McCoy's house to give him a piece of her mind, or worse. Joe McCoy had nearly killed a boy who felt more like her son than even Matt Saracen, and she wasn't about to let him get away with it.

I can't tell you how delighted I was by the reviews of the last chapter. Thank you so much! Please, keep them coming! :)