I'm so sorry guys! I accidentally posted the non-edited one. Ugh, how embarrassing for me. This is the correct one.

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Chapter 10

It all comes down to details

"It's Monday. I'm refreshed and ready to hate my job,"- Unknown

The amount of pain I was currently in was…well there weren't words to describe it. Let's just say it was painful, like being eaten by a zombie painful. Really hope that wasn't what was happening.

Yeah, so I forgot what happened. All I remembered was a loud bang and then nothing. Next thing I knew I woke up from what I thought was my alarm clock yelling out, 'wake up, idiot! It's Monday!' but was really the heart monitor constantly beeping every damn second. Kinda like waking up after getting piss drunk, except the bedding doesn't have the cigarette burns it normally does.

But seriously though, what the hell happened?

I felt like the morning after a night spent on a raging high. Oh god, please tell me that wasn't the case. Did I do something that was illegal? I hope not. Oh wait; I did things illegal all the time. Never mind then. But did I kill somebody? Please tell me I didn't kill anybody. Because you know, bang never equals good.

I'll tell you this though, my back was mighty sore. Was I stabbed in the back or something? Lord, the pain was excruciating.

What helped me though was the pair of golden eyes staring down on me when I woke up. They reminded me of the sun, so warm, so beautiful, so…wait, golden eyes?

My rambled mess of thoughts flew aside allowing me to see, and comprehend, Sesshomaru standing over me. I could also feel a light pressure in my hand and I knew from that moment he was holding it.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been?" he asked.

What was I supposed to say? I was speechless. Seriously though, I didn't know what to say. What was he doing here anyways?

"In this case, lies aren't comforting," I muttered, looking away.

"You don't think I've been searching for you? You don't think I've been all over the city with police searching for you? How do you think I felt when I got a call by the police at three in the morning, telling me they found you on east side of town shot in the back?"

Oh so that's what happened. No wonder my back hurt so much. But that was barely on the radar in comparison to when he said he had been searching for me. Now that I thought about it, I did see a few police around the neighbourhood. But when they came around, I hid, like any rational drug user, so I didn't wind up in jail. I didn't have any idea Sesshomaru had been looking for me though.

He sighed heavily as I remained quiet. "You have put mbe through hell these last few weeks. You're back doing god knows what, and who, and you're walking around with a death wish. What am I going to do with you?"

I could feel the tears building up, but I held back, not wanting to look like a fool.

I ignored his questions. Instead of answering, I had a few of my own. "Why are you here?"

"Why do you think I'm here? Someone has to take care of you?"

I scoffed. "You take care of me? Why? Do I look like a child to you? Or do you think I'm so stupid I have no idea what drugs do and what they come with? You feel like you've got some obligation to me out of pity? Your burden, huh? Eff off and go back to doing the reason I left."

"Rin, if you are talking about Kagura, she's gone. Forever."

I scrunched my eyebrows together, confused. "What are you talking about?" I was actually scared to know the answer. Probably because of who I've dealt with in the past.

"I placed a restraining order on her. She's out of the country." Oh, right, that's what I thought. "And by the way, when you saw us kissing," I flinched at the word and the memory, "she was kissing me. I had no part in it. It was all an accident."

"How do you accidently kiss someone? Did she slip on a rug and your lips broke her fall? She should be careful; just a recipe for an accidental pregnancy."

He sighed more. "Rin, don't be like this."

"But she was…moaning," I argued more.

He shook his head. "It was an act. She thought if she and I were in an intimate situation, you would run off, and unfortunately, she was right."

Well yeah, no shit. "I see."

"It's too bad you ran, Rin. I lost my best secretary that day," his mouth turned into a small smirk.

I laughed. "The new one shouldn't be that bad."

"You're joking, right? My new secretary is horrible. I would rather have a five year old answering my phone calls. And she loses everything. All my files are disorganized. I'm losing my mind."

"You, lose your mind? Impossible," I breathed, relaxing myself. "Sesshomaru, I can't come back. I'm a drug addict and…it wouldn't look good. I would ruin your reputation in an instant. If she's so bad, fire her, get a new one."

"You can't ruin it if everyone knows. I can't care less what people say anyways. But Rin, I'll put you back into rehab. Just come back."

I wanted to come back. I really did, but I didn't know if my heart would allow me. This man was the one I fell in love with and who I still loved. I was still hurt from when I spotted Kagura and him kissing, but from what he had told me, it was nothing but fake, an act to get rid of me without Sesshomaru's consent. But why get rid of me? I knew Kagura hated my guts, well actually I was 74% sure she did, but I was no threat to her. Sure I slept with Sesshomaru, but that was one time. Besides, she wouldn't have found out…

Naraku.

He did this! Everything was his fault! And it was all because he wanted me back. God damnit. Why didn't I see this in the first place? And now that bastard is probably half way to Timbuktu because…well great, I remember everything now. Fuck, I need a cigarette.

"Um… You wouldn't have a cigarette on you, would you?" I asked sweetly, knowing quite well what the answer was going to be.

He looked at me like I was insane, and yes, I was insane. But I really needed something to calm my nerves so I didn't do something insane enough to have me committed. "Rin, you were shot in the back by a psychopath and all you can think about is a damn cigarette?"

"Is that a no?"

He sighed heavily. Yeah, that was a no. "Please understand that you are seriously hurt. Do you have any idea how close I was from losing you?"

Did he actually care about me? A part of me wanted to think he was just faking, so he could make me come back to work for him, clear his conscious and whatnot, but the other part… well, my heart felt warm. I needed to know the truth officially- curiously, I suppose. "Is everything you are saying the truth?"

"Do you doubt my words?"

"Uh, yes, yes I do! Sesshomaru, after I saw you with her a part of me was lost, and I don't fully trust you yet." In truth, I didn't fully trust anyone, except my hair dresser. I trust her 100%.

"Then what can I do?"

I bit my lip, wanting nothing more than to give him another chance. "Take me home."

xXx

When I was little I wanted to become a fifth grade teacher. I know what you're thinking, why a fifth grade teacher? –Yeah, I didn't know. I was young. I told my Dad this before he died, and you know what he said, 'Honey, prostitutes make twice as much as teachers do.' And you know what, he was right.

Then he died. Yeah, life sucks.

My dreams changed after that. I started to think about his words more and more, thinking that hey maybe he was right. So I tried it, and regretted it to the maximum. Even when I returned, I still hated it. It was just the only job I could think of that didn't include a resume. Besides, I did kind of date the boss. But now all I could think about was going back as Sesshomaru's secretary.

I loved it! I mean, waking up at the crack of dawn wasn't the greatest, but even that had its perks. There were some amazing sun rises. And I was sure going to see a lot of those for the next few weeks, because I was heading to one place.

Rehab.

It was only day rehab, but I would have to leave before sunrise, and go home after sunset. Technically it was a work day on steroids. But I was glad to be out away from the 'other side of the tracks' and away from Naraku.

It took me three weeks to get out of the hospital, and all that time I was crying and fighting and depressed, ugh, I was a mess. I craved cocaine. I craved tobacco. I craved drugs! But did I want them? Well, technically yeah, but the sane side of me didn't and from this day forth I was listening to that. So no, that's why I was headed to rehab.

I went back to Sesshomaru's apartment to find that my room was exactly the same as it was when I left, mess included. Sesshomaru showed me the note I wrote him when I left and all I could do was smile and say, "I'm alive, aren't I? Be happy." Yeah, he wasn't happy, he was worried. I could tell.

That night, I drank to get over the urge to hunt down some good stuff. But it probably wasn't the best idea because the next morning I had to leave to rehab and I must say, didn't love the hangover. Talk about crazy ride there. Every. Ten. Minutes. I was throwing up my stomach. Not fun. I felt bad for Sesshomaru too, having to smell the disgusting scent of my stomach fluids. Must've smelled worse than it tasted. But still, he was there, comforting me. I bet he was being nice to me because he felt bad for yelling at me, resulting in me leaving. Man, that new secretary must be pretty bad. Desperate bastard.

I would do three months in rehab. That was the deal. After I was clean, I would return to work and replace the new secretary. I did feel bad for making the new one leave, but Sesshomaru told me the instant I said that, "she's happy." Huh. Going to guess that's a lie.

I watched out the window as we drove up to the rehab clinic. Butterflies rushed into my stomach. My brain yelled at me, wanting nothing more than to escape this nightmare with a high. But then what was the point of being here? I wanted to get clean. And I was positive this time, I was going to get clean, and I was going to stay that way.

Here we go.

Third times a charm.

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