Twisted

chapter 9

"damn brute!" I cursed under my breath as I started to walk back towards my apartment rubbing the corner of my lips where Shinra landed a perfect blow I sighed and dipped my hands on the pocket of my coat. This day is getting crazy, i totally let things go out of control; I let my emotions jump in front of me and let it take the wheel instead. Im so stupid, I could kill Shizuo easily! Feeling something on my pocket I looked I took out the small packet and stared at it, Namie gave this to me.. errr no, I ordered this from her, if I just poured the whole content on the brute's food he should be dead now, but I didn't instead I let him live, pouring small amount isn't enough, I know that but I convinced myself I want to see him die in agony but of course that was a lie.

"in the end I can't kill him" I murmured and stopped in my tracks. Shit! I need to get my things from Shizu-chan's apartment! I turned around and started walking towards the protozoan's house, I need to hurry since I don't want him to see me for now. My pace started to get faster as I saw his apartment and went to climb the stairs and opened the door heading straight to the room I packed my things and looked around making sure I didn't forget anything. I kept on reminding myself that I need to hurry, looking at the bags I nodded and carried it but before I could leave the living room I paused and stared at the other person in the house.

"Izaya?"

"don't get me wrong, im just getting my things and leave" I said as I looked at the blond who was standing there, glaring at him I tried to walk pass him but he blocked the way and looked at me.

"Izaya, listen to me"

"I don't have to listen to you just let me leav-"

"let me say something first!" he grabbed my shoulder to let me stay still on my position and looked at me. "I thought you would love me after this long month being together" he murmured and I saw him bit the bottom of his lips. "next week it would be almost a year.. and I didn't give up o-"

"look, did you realized what I did? I poisoned you!, every day I pour your breakfast just enough to make you sick!, this past few months you are complaining of headache, it was MY doing!"

"I know.. and im angry, I really am, but i-"

"face it! I can't love you! No one will!"

"just fucking listen to me first! That's your problem you don't listen to whatever I say! you like hearing yourself talk!"

"what do I have to listen, it was en-"

"marry me! godamnit marry me!" he said as he held a ring in my front and I stared in horror, why? Did the poison got in his brains or something?

"wh..why?" I managed to choke the words out as I stared at the silver ring, it wasn't expensive, it was just plain silver and some small engravings barely visible of vines around it.

"i.. I'm really planning to ask you today but things happened and I thought about it a hundred times… I really wanted to be with you"
I don't want to believe this, I don't want to think this is happening, why would the brute want that?! I tried to kill him and he still! I stared at the ring my emotions swimming and clashing trying to find a way to outwit one another.

take it!

don't take it!

say yes, you would!

no , say no!

this things are floating in my brain for what seemed like eternity and I can't help but clench my fist, I don't know what I want, what I want? What do I want? I hated the fact that my pride and being stubborn won the argument of my feelings.

"izaya.. will you ple-"

"NO! NO! I will never, ever marry you!" I shouted and stared at the ring, what am I saying! Izaya why can't you just accept what was in your front why can' t I just say…

"I would never love a monster such as you, the mere thought of it makes me sick!" I took the ring and threw it in the room, not knowing where it landed as I heard some bouncing and while the blond was still distracted trying to locate the ring I ran out of the door, leaving my things and just ran away from him.

"IZAYA! Wait!" I heard another footsteps trailing behind me, fuck shizu-chan why do you keep on following me! I glared and continued to run and run just to escape the brute behind me.

"Fuck off Shizuo!" I yelled back and he continued to chase me, more determined to catch me and I looked back feeling his stare at me, his hand reaching out to grab the hood of my jacket, forcing my feet to make a long stride I managed to get away but I didn't realized I was out of the alley and into the streets and before I could move another step a loud horn and brakes caught my attention and Shizuo'z voice.

"IZAYA!"

then a sickening crack and I felt my body flew a few feet away before landing on the ground, as my head collided with the hard concrete everything went black…

-at a certain apartment in Ikebukuro

Silence met his ear as he stepped inside the apartment, it was weird for Shizuo not to hear a rush of foortsteps as he opened the door, not a 'welcome home Shizuo!' to greet him.

"im home, Izaya?"
Shizuo started to unhook his bowtie and unbuttoned his vest throwing it on the couch he looked around, and stopped himself to think that Izaya left the apartment again, his eyes narrowed as he looked through the bathroom, the bedroom and living room, finally he went to the kitchen and saw no one, walking straight he cursed as he stumbled on something.. or someone.

"IZAYA!" shizuo knelt as he looked at the sprawled informant on the floor, and scooped him in his arms and started to shake him. "wake up" Shizuo tapped the raven's cheek and slowly he saw the crimson lids fluttered open and he let out a sigh of relief.

"thank God, you got me worried there, what happened?"
Izaya stared at the blond as he rubbed his temples and groaned as he looked around to take in his surroundings and then it clicked. He blinked and looked up at the blond.

"Shizu..o" he choked out the name and quickly looked away at the other, starring at the floor as he tried to take everything that happened with in the four months of his memory loss.

"here, let me make you comfortable" he then carried izaya in bridal style and settled him in the couch before cupping his face and looked at him. "what happened?"

Izaya can't looked back at the blond and darted his gaze on the side and decided to stay silent. How could he face Shizuo after all the things he did, and look Shizuo is still taking care of him. The guilt on his chest is starting to eat him up and he bit his lips unable to say anything.
Shizuo blinked and kept his gaze on the raven, it was strange that he was too silent but Shizuo brushed it aside thinking maybe he was too scared, looking through the kitchen he saw the chair on the floor and the open cupboard.

"you fell? Are you ok?"
Izaya managed to nod and rubbed his arm and he flinched a bit as Shizuo started to brush his raven locks, the gesture would be wonderful if he didn't remember anything, but now the gesture sent him more in confusion and he looked at Shizuo.

"di..did you eat already?" he asked softly, the words completely foreign to him and Shizuo shook his head.

"its fine Iz, I already ate, how about you are you hungry?"

"no" he shook his head and looked at the blond. "im, im going to bed, im tired" he murmured softly before standing up and heading to the bedroom, Shizuo stared at the raven he knew something was wrong but he just brushed it aside and followed the raven on the bed and went to wrap his arms around the thin waist pulling the smaller male closer to his own body and he felt the raven stiffen.

"its fine, its just me" he murmured and kissed izaya's neck lovingly, his kisses went up to the informant's cheeks and ears. Izaya just bit his lips, Shizuo's gestures made him difficult to think, the lips on his neck made him shudder and he wanted to just get away from it and at the same time stay and bath at the strange yet familiar feeling.
Shizuo pulled him down the bed and pulled the covers over their tired body and he pulled izya close to his chest kissing the top of his head as they cuddled. Shizuo smiled at the scent of the raven, breathing it as he whispered.

"Izaya, I love you"
silence met his words, but shizuo didn't mind thinking the informant was already asleep, little did he know that it was probably the last time he will breathe the scent that he came to love

Shizuo blinked and groaned as he felt the sun hitting his face, cursing he moved away from it only to notice that the bed was empty, yawning he smiled at the thought of another pancake for breakfast. Stretching his tired limbs he was about to stand when he saw a not on his bedside table and another object. Inching closer Shizuo picked up the shinning object which was the ring, the very ring he bought and offered to Izaya, as how it went on his nightstand he didn't know. Picking the white note he looked at it and read the content, but as soon as he read it he regretted ever picking it up.
A million question swirled in his mind at that time as he sank in the bed.

why?

why now?

Why is this happening?

why does it have to be now when everything is starting to be perfect, but then he recalled something, perfection doesn't last nor happiness and he was falling, no matter what he do, no matter how he twisted every truth and lies everything would always return to what it was and right now, he knew everything turned more twisted than he had thought..
Footsteps left the room as the note was forgotten on the floor..
words he didn't want to accept was written there.
just two words he didn't want to accept.

'I remember'

so this fic is nearing to its end, probably one last chapter so yeah, but hey im proud I really did ended this and didn't leave it hanging!

Lolita Rafane yay! Thank you! You always make me smile with your AWESOME reviews! Im glad I could make such impact, cause you know im not really a good writer, and the pure gold line you said! I would hold unto it! To all who reviewed thank you sooo soo much! I hope you will still continue to read this up to the end!