Chapter Ten: Whac-A-Wolf

1:50pm In a tunnel underground in parts unknown.

Judy Hopps and Tim Wolford were burrowing in a tunnel, trying to find their way out of the Nocturnal District and to a wireless signal so they can be picked up. Needless to say, the confining space wasn't helping their mood any.

"Get your nose outta my butt!" Judy shouted.

"Get your butt outta my nose!" Tim snapped back. "It's not like we got much room here and it's too dark down here even for me. We barely got any air as-is and don't think I didn't notice those two little gas leaks, officer 'Toot-Toot'!"

"Hey! I can't help that you're right behind me! I just dug up for air ten minutes ago. We're still in the Nocturnal District from what I can tell. I can't seem to find my way out!"

"Yeah." Tim replied. "'Da only thing we found is some gold doubloons, a time capsule from 1988 and a real old, dead body we gotta report on. Oooh my achin' butt! 'Dey really did a number on it. This is 'da third most painful thing ta happen ta my rear this week!"

Judy was curious. "Third? What are the other two?"

"Well for one, it caught fire during the explosion I survived in case you forgot about my rat tail and two, well everyone at the ZPD is still doggin' me on that one."

"Oh yeah! Ha-Ha! I never...pegged you for that kinda guy Wolford."

"Ah shaddap and keep diggin!"

"This is taking forever!" Judy groaned. "And Batrov could wake up again at any time!"

Like clockwork, they heard some groaning. "OoOooh. Where am I?"

"Don't try anything!" Tim barked. "We had ta escape yer friends by burrowin' a tunnel and we're currently diggin' our way outta 'da Nocturnal District. Ya got wingcuffs and a muzzle on so don't try nuttin'!"

Batrov started to freak out. "Oh GOD I'm buried?! Let me out! LET ME OUT! The tunnel's closing in on me! AAH!-AAH! I can't breathe!"

Judy patted the bat on the shoulder. "Sir. Do you suffer from claustrophobia?"

"YES! Most bats do! We prefer high open spaces! Let me out! LET ME OUT! Baaah-Haa-Haaa!"

"Ya want me ta knock him out like ya did earlier Hopps?" Tim asked. Folding his paws into a fist.

"No Wolford. That was different. This bat's traumatized right now. It's our job to make the world a better place and that includes helping the criminals we capture. Let me see him."

Judy embraced the frightened bat from behind. "Hey, hey now. Everything's gonna be alright. This is officer Hopps. I'm a rabbit and I can burrow real fast, so we'll be out of here soon."

Batrov was sobbing. "P-Please let me go!"

Judy petted his head. "Sshhhhh! It's okay. It's gonna be okay. We'll be out of here soon and in the nice, open air. I promise. As an officer, it's my duty to make sure you're safe. If you want, I can knock you out with the dart again and when you wake up, you'll be out of this tunnel. Is that okay? Do you want me to put you to sleep for a little bit hunh?"

"SNIFF!...O-Okay." The bat muttered. His head nestled against Judy's chest.

Judy got the dart out and slowly inserted it into his bottom. "There you go. I promise you'll be safe."

"Thank yoooOOOOooouuu..." The bat was out again and Judy put him back into the back pack. Tim was impressed. "I gotta admit. I wasn't expectin' ya ta be such a softy Hopps."

"Even our enemies deserve some respect Wolford." Judy replied. "Otherwise, the world will never get better. Now let's go."

About fifteen minutes later, they were still digging. It was starting to get more and more uncomfortable.

Wolford was panting. "We need ta go up fer air Hopps! I'm stiflin' in here!"

"Me too! It's getting humid!...Wait...it's...getting warm isn't it? Come to think of it, the dirt is getting warm too! Let's dig up!"

Both Wolford and Hopps started to dig up. "Wolford! The dirt, it's turning into sand!"

"I see light!" Wolford said excitedly. "I think we're free!"

Wolford and Hopp;s poked their heads out of the sand and were happy with what they saw. "Daylight! Beautiful, beautiful daylight!" Tim said excitedly.

Judy pulled her arm out of the hole and looked at her smartphone. "I got bars on my phone! I can call the ZPD!"

"Great. But where are we?" They both looked around for a moment. "It looks like it's all sand. There's a hotel over 'dere...Wait! I recognize 'dis place! It's 'da Sahara Square country club golf course! All 'da courses are one huge sand trap. Hopps, you said you had a built in compass. We're way off where you were headin'!"

"I KNEW I should'a taken that left turn at Albuquerque!"

"Oooh what you said! Hurry up and call 'da ZPD, 'Bugs'!"

Meanwhile, at the ZPD, the phone at Ben's counter began to ring. "ZPD! How may I help you?"

"Eeeeh...What's up Ben?"

"...Who the hell is this?!"

"...Nobody knows the classics anymore. It's officer Hopps!"

"Judy! Are you guys okay?!"

"Yeah! Our squad car exploded and I had to burrow our way out of the Nocturnal District, but other wise, we're fine! We got Batrov! Send a squad car or two to the Sahara Square country club."

"Okay then. I'm already sending Bogo the news and some squad cars will be there soon."

"Thanks Ben!" She hung up the phone only to notice that there was blood on it. "What the?" She then saw just how bloody and raw her paws got.

Tim noticed it too and took her paws in his. "Daang! You really were diggin' hard! I'm sorry fer all 'da complainin'."

"Well I was digging for about an hour." Tim then started to lick her paws clean which made Judy's ears blush. "Ummm Wolford. What are you?..."

Tim stopped licking for a moment. "Relax. It ain't romantic. I'd do this fer any of my squadmates. Just cleanin' yer wounds. 'Dats all."

Judy smiled back. "Thanks. We better get out of this ho-...Tee-Hee!"

"Am I ticklin' yer paws?"

"No. You have a golf ball on your head. Must've happened when you popped your head out of the ground."

"That's right!" Said a strange voice from behind. It was a upset, old camel in a Hawaiian shirt. "And you're trespassing and interfering with a tournament!"

"We're sorry sir." Judy replied. "We're from the ZPD and had to burrow our way out of the Nocturnal District with a suspect. Is there a way we can make it up to you?"

"Yes. Tell your friend to hold perfectly still. The ball has to play where it lies."

Tim got nervous. "N-Now wait a minute!"

"Just hold still Wolford." Judy replied.

Tim pulled his ears back, closed his eyes and whined. "Why me?"

The golfer then reared his arms back with the club. "FORRRE!"

"WHACK!"

Meanwhile, Suzie had gone into the hardware store. She was a regular there and the staff knew her by name. Some of the workers greeted her. "Suzie!"

"Hi Bob! Hi Dave! Can I borrow your hot glue gun?"

"Sure thing Suzie! Coming up with some more crazy inventions?"

"They're not crazy Bob, but yeah. I'm making a gift for my little sister and her new friend." The giraffe got to work while the two workers watched.

"What's with the top half of a fishing pole?"

"The top of a fishing pole can bend real good, but is hard to break. I'm using the parts of this extendable arm and taking it apart, then adding the fishing pole to make an extendable arm that can bend."

"Why? Doesn't that make things harder to reach? "

"It depends on what you're reaching Dave. It's...kinda personal."

"Okay Su. I'll leave ya to your work."

Twenty minutes later, she caught up with Nick and Terry. Terry had Nick, Cotton and Sarah on her lap as they were watching Petey and Michael trick or treat at each store in the mall. The bunny brothers were followed from behind by Spots and Jim. Jim loved Spots' pirate outfit, but Spots was even more impressed with Jim's costume.

"That outfit is sooo hardcore! I'm jealous I didn't come up with that!"

"It's just the guitar freak from Mad Yax: Furry Road. The fake guitar even blows red and yellow flames." He turned on the guitar fans to show the effect.

Spots was super impressed. "So. Freaking. Awesome!"

"It sucks that I couldn't wear the mask though, thanks to this 'Big Cheese' bullcrap!"

The two bunny brothers along with a group of kids came up to the next building which happened to be a dentist office. "Trick or treat!"

The otter dentist greeted them. "Here you go kids! I don't have candy but something better. Floss!"

Petey looked disappointed. "Floss?"

"Sure! You'll want to keep your teeth clean after eating all that candy! Remember to brush your teeth twice a day!"

All the kids left disappointed, but came back with eggs in hand. "Fire!"

All the kids started hurling eggs at the store window and at the dentist. "No! Stop! Please! My only crime is wanting you to have good oral hygiene! Where are they getting all these eggs from?!"

Around the corner, Spots could be seen with a bag of eggs. Handing the white grenades to the children. "There you go! Take as many as you want. That's right! Teach him what happens when you don't give candy on Halloween."

Jim looked at Spots. "Did you plan to do this all along?"

"Yup! That jerk's been doing that since I was a cub."

From her wheelchair twenty feet away. Terry looked concerned. "Nick. Shouldn't we do something? We are cops after all."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just a fox in a cop costume!"

Suzie came up to them from behind. "Hey guys! I'm all done!"

"Are you gonna go trick or treating with the others?" Terry asked.

"Naaah! I'm too big a girl for that now. Then again, I'm too big a girl to fit through most doors. Hah! Oh Skates and Cotton! I can't wait to show you too what I made you when we get home!"

"Can you show us now?" Sarah asked.

Cotton agreed. "Yeah! Pleeese!"

"No. It'll be better at the house. Trust me."

Terry chatted with Suzie some more. "Spots is your closest friend and you two haven't seen much of each other in two years. Stop distancing yourself and hang out with those two!"

"Okay mom. You're right. I just wanted them to have as much time alone as possible."

Cotton talked a bit to Sarah. "Skates? I was thinking...I really am sorry for the way I acted. The way you skate around is really cool and...I was jealous."

"Well...I'm sorry too I guess. Maybe we...Cotton look!"

Cotton looked over and started squealing. "EEEEE! It's them! It's them!"

Nick was confused. "Who?"

Sarah squealed with excitement. "Over by the Christmas tree! The Smelza Squad! Zootopia's third biggest Floatzen fan club!"

"And how many Floatzen fan clubs are there in Zootopia?" the fox asked.

"Seventy-Two."

Nick couldn't believe it. "Why is this movie so popular?! This is insane!"

"It's that stupid song." Terry replied.

"It's not a stupid song mommy!" Sarah argued.

"Oh sure! When I first heard it, it was great and moving. But once you hear it two-thousand times, it loses it's charm!"

Nick chimed in. "Also Wrangled was a much better movie.."

"Blashemy!" Cotton shouted.

"That's a big word for a seven year-old. Wrangled is better! It's funny, full of charm and good romance. Also, most of the songs are pretty good. Not just one song."

"There's more than one good song in Floatzen!"

"Really? Sing 'Do you wanna build a snowmammal?' "

"AHEM! Do you wanna build a snowmammal?...Ummm..Something something somethinnng! Dangit!"

"See? And Wrangled had a much better villain too. Mother Oathell only pretended to love Rahoovesel like a daughter because she wanted to live forever. In Floatzen, Hamz's villainous turn makes no sense and is only there for a big plot twist. If he wanted both sisters dead, why not let his men shoot Smelza earlier instead of stopping him?"

"But...But."

"Do you know why it became Hamz as the villain? Because SMELZA was supposed to be the villain, but they changed it for a more sisterhood story and as we all know, sudden script changes ALWAYS make a film worse. Always."

Terry nudged Nick for a moment. "A-HEM!"

"Okay, I can think of one. (Thank God I don't have to wear a shock collar)."

Cotton was getting upset. "Daddy you're ruining my movie! Can't I just like what I like?"

"Sorry honey. Yes you can."

Sarah got excited. "Cotton look! They're gonna sing 'Let it Goat'!"

Terry put her paws on her ears. "Not again! Sarah plays that song twenty times a day!"

The group of Smelzas sang.

"Let it goat. Let it goat!"

"Look at me, I'm on a boat!"

"Watch me skittle-doo!"

"As I play my kazoo!"

"Aaand now they got their kazoos out." Nick groaned. "Why is this song popular again?"

"Can we go see them daddy?!" Cotton said excitedly. "Can we pleeeeeze?!"

"Okay. Okay. Go with Sarah and we'll watch you from here. Wouldn't want you to look uncool hanging out with your old man."

"YAAAAY!" The two girls shouted as they climbed down Terry and Nick's lap.

Cotton then shouted out to Petey who was still trick or treating with Michael. "Petey! Come with us! We're gonna meet the Smelza Squad!"

"The Smelza Squad?" Petey replied. " #$%! Cool! C'mon Mike!"

"Who's the Smelza Squad?" Michael asked.

"I have no clue. Let's go!"

As Petey pulled Michael along, Michael could hear a familiar voice. "Ho! Ho! Ho!"

"It's Santa Paws! Petey stop! I wanna see Santa Paws!"

"But... #$%! The girls!"

"I'll have Nick take me." Michael shouted to Nick. "Daddy!"

Nick was a bit surprised. "Did Michael just call me 'daddy'?"

"Daddy! I wanna see Santa Paws!"

"HE DID! Nick said with excitement. "Okay son! I'll bring you right to him!" Nick jumped off Terry's lap and ran over to Michael.

Cotton and Sarah went over to the Smelza Squad, giggling with excitement. "It's her! Cotton shouted. "It's Lilly Lynxton! Head of the Smelza Squad!"

The seven year-old Lynx eyed Cotton up and down. "Who are you?" She said in a snooty tone.

"I-I'm Christine Wilde and this is my friend Sarah Clawhauser. We call her 'Skates because she gets around on that skateboard thingy. We are big, big fans!"

"Hello." Sarah replied in a shy tone.

"Oh! And this bunny walking up and dressed like Fanna is my little brother Petey. Say hi Petey!"

" 'Sup ladies? I #$% rock this dress, yo!"

Cotton was still gushing. "I just wanted to say what a HUGE fan we are of your club and we'd like to join!"

The lynx scoffed. "YOU join MY club?" Before she could answer, she was tapped on he shoulder by a fellow member.

"PSSST! Lilly! Maybe we should let them join."

"Why would I do that Emilia?"

"We need more diversity in our group to make us look like we actually care. Just look at them! Two cripples and a foul-mouthed, gay boy. They'd be perfect poster children for our website!"

Petey overhead them talk. "I'm NOT gay! I wanted to wear a matching costume with my girlfriend."

"Sorry you overheard that." Lilly replied. "Emilia can be VERY insensitive at times."

"HEY!" Emilia shouted back.

"Y'know? I MIGHT consider you three. I'm not sure."

As Sarah was watching she felt a movement in her stomach. "Oh no! Not now! NONONONO!" She thought. It was too late.

She tried to excuse herself. "It was nice meeting you but I-I gotta go!"

"Skates wait!" Cotton shouted. "Don't you wanna join?"

"I-I-I do but...but."

Lilly was annoyed. "You're being dumb! Why wouldn't?..." She then smelled something stinky. They all did. The odor was in Sarah's direction. "Did you fart or...sniff-sniff...EWW! She pooped herself!"

Her ears buried flat on her head in embarrassment, Sarah turned around to hurriedly leave and called for Terry. "Mommy!"

Unfortunately, Terry moved over and was watching Michael sit on Santa's lap.

Since Sarah was sprawled on the skates and turned around, Lilly saw underneath the mountain lion's dress. "Look girls! She wears a diaper!" She started to laugh. "Oh my gosh! How old are you!"

Petey was upset. "That's not #$%! funny!"

"No it's not!" Cotton replied.

"It's hilarious!" Lilly fired back. Her and the other girls pointed at Sarah and laughed. They then started a chant.

"Diaper baby! Diaper baby!"

"You're a stinky diaper baby!"

Cotton was getting real upset. "Knock it off! She's paralyzed! She has no control over that!"

"Diaper baby! Diaper baby!"

"You're a stinky diaper baby!"

Cotton's mind flashed back to a similar verbal abuse she got at the orphanage.

"Crazy legs! Crazy legs!"

"You've got stupid crazy legs!"

Sarah was bawling. She tried to leave and the other mean girls blocked her and laughed in her face.

"STOP IT!" Petey cried.

A fire built up in Cotton. A rage she never felt before. "Knock it off now!"

Lilly just looked down at the crying mountain lion. "How pathetic! You should kill yourself!"

That did it. Cotton took her crutch and swing it deep into Lilly's shoulder knocking her down to the ground. "RRRRAAAH!" She then fell on top of her and started throwing hooved punches into her face. "YOU DON'T EVER SAY THAT KIND OF THING! ESPECIALLY TO MY FRIEND!"

It was a moment the family wouldn't forget. The moment Christine Wilde snapped and beat the hell out of a Lynx. Sarah would remember it as the moment she made a best friend for life.