Stepsiblings, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl
Hoof Prints (rough draft)
Summary: For Saïx, it is FAR from the "most wonderful time" of the year.
A/N: Axel's POV. Takes place a year after the wedding.
I've been wanting to post this story for ages. XD I've given up trying to keep to the timeline.
o.o.o
"Axel! Axel! Axel!" I crack my eyes open just long enough to see what time it is, then shut them again with a groan. "Roxas...I love you very much, and I know it's Christmas, but seriously...?"
"AXEEEEELLL!"
He is literally jumping up and down on my bed (and sometimes on me), and finally I can't take it anymore. And whatever, I might as well give in sooner rather than later. "All right! All right! I'm getting up!"
Yawning, I let him drag me out of bed and into the cold, dark hallway. Come to think of it, I'm surprised Xion isn't bouncing around screaming about Christmas, too.
"Hey!" Roxas yells as we barge into Saïx's room, "Hey, it's Christmas!"
Huh. The light's already on. At first I'm shocked when I think that Saïx is awake at this ungodly hour, but then I realize that for some reason, he's fallen asleep sitting up in bed. And Xion is curled up next to him. What in the world...?
"Xion!" Roxas shrieks. Saïx is shifting, opening his eyes and looking disoriented and a little panicked. "Xion, Saïx, Santa came! Santa came!"
I'm surprised when Saïx flies out of bed. I'd think he was shockingly super-excited, but he's also seizing a baseball bat like he means to bash someone's head in with it. What the heck, why did he have my baseball bat propped beside his bed?
"What?" he hisses. terror fury panic KILL
Instinctively, I lunge forward and snatch Roxas close to me, even as he's still yelling. "It's Christmas! Let's go to the living room! We have presents!"
Xion's awake by now and, like, jumps at Saïx, nearly knocking him over. "No, Saïx, no, Santa never came he's gone there's no Santa go back to sleep it's okay!"
What the heck?
He seizes her arm and surges out of the room. She's, like, running to keep up. And begging, "Saïx, please don't kill him."
Whaaaaat?
Still holding Roxas, I follow them out into the hallway, ignoring our parents' voices when they come out of their room to see what all the commotion is. But then Xem's voice snaps out, "Stop," and I shiver. Saïx, who's at the top of the staircase by now, stops like he's crashed into a wall and freezes for a minute. Then he kind of sinks into a crouch, still gripping the bat and facing away from us; Xion hugs him tight, and he puts an arm around her to hold her close. I do not understand.
"Saïx, what is going on here?" Xem rumbles.
Saïx's voice is almost, almost steady. "It's Christmas morning. The children are excited."
Uh huh.
"Santa came?" Roxas says, like it's a question.
I could have sworn Saïx flinched.
"Saïx, the alarm didn't go off," Xion says. "The siren would have gone 'whee whee whee whee!' if someone broke in."
"Someone broke in?" Mom gasps.
"I'll go check," Saïx says quickly, and takes off again down the stairs with Xion.
"Well," I sigh, "there goes our chance of having a normal Christmas...again..."
Downstairs, Saïx and Xion are prowling the house, Xion occasionally giving the pile of presents a wistful glance and Saïx acting like they don't exist. Saïx doesn't seem like he's joking - I think he really is looking for burglars.
"Look!" Roxas shrieks, "Santa!"
Saïx jerks around like he's been shot, and Xion gives a gasp that sounds way more horrified than excited. We all look where Roxas is pointing, and I have to smile.
"You're right, he really was here!" Mom chirps in her kindergarten teacher voice. It's that reindeer tracks stamp thing she has, making it look like reindeer have been milling around outside. The sleigh bell I bought the other day is lying in the snow where I'm sure Mom dropped it last night.
"Sacred moon," Saïx whispers. It's almost a whimper. I look over and find him half-collapsed against the wall, his face chalk white, I am not even kidding. Xion is staring, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, as if she's just witnessed a car crash.
Saïx suddenly whirls away. "I'm going to make breakfast," he announces hugely, as if it's perfectly normal for a family with small children to eat breakfast on Christmas morning with wrapped presents still in sight. "Xion, what do you want for breakfast?"
"Pop-Tarts," she says, in the same tone as someone expressing their condolences.
"I'll make you some eggs," he says immediately.
"I'll have French toast made from scratch," I say sarcastically.
Saïx flings open the refrigerator door, then immediately slams it back closed. "Unfortunately, we're out of eggs," he says, even though there was at least half a carton of them sitting on the middle shelf. "I'll go out and buy some."
"Saïx!" Mom says in exasperation, "It's Christmas! All the stores are closed!"
That makes him pause, but then he says, "Hospitals aren't closed. I'll get some from there."
"Saïx, enough of this," Xem says sharply, making me flinch again.
"Daddy!" Xion suddenly shrieks, "Saïx! I broke my arm, I have to go to the hospital!"
"I'll take you," Saïx says immediately, making a beeline for the door. He still has my baseball bat, by the way.
"My stepbrother is insane," I say conversationally.
"Axel," Mom hisses, and suddenly I remember that Saïx's mom really did...have...issues. Oh, crap.
"Saïx!" I yell, "Wait!" Mom and Xem are yelling pretty much the same stuff, but I'm the one running out the door and grabbing Saïx by the shoulder as he's opening the car door. "Sai, let me drive."
I can finally see his eyes clearly. terror distress panic anger shame alarm
"Sai," I whisper, "trust me."
He stares into my eyes for what feels like ages. fear hope hurt
"C'mon," I coax, like I'm talking to a stray dog or something, "go on around, I'll take you wherever you want, I just...think it's best if you're not behind a wheel right now."
Wordlessly, he gets in the back and sits there gripping that bat while Xion anxiously pats his arm. I can't let Roxas sit in the front seat, but I'm scared to put him back there with someone who's flipping out. "Roxas, get on Xion's other side."
"What about presents?"
"Sorry, we all messed up. Christmas is actually tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" he screeches.
"Yeah."
"YOU'RE ALL STUPID!"
"I know. Sorry, buddy. Go on and get in the back."
"YOU'RE STUPID! I HATE YOU!" Roxas crawls straight over Saïx's lap - Saïx doesn't even blink, it's kind of scary - and curls up on the other side in a Sulking Pose. Xion looks from one of her brothers to the other and then starts crying. Fantastic.
I swing into the driver's seat and start the car. "Where to?" I ask, hoping he can tell form my voice how ticked off I am.
"I don't care," he says flatly. "Away."
"Your wish is my command. I exist only to serve you."
He doesn't say a word. I swear, he is seriously creeping me out.
I pull out of the driveway and sail off, ignoring Mom waving her arms at us from the front porch. "Xion," I ask, "why is your big brother acting loco?"
"He-"
Saïx reaches out a hand to cover her mouth.
"Don't touch her," I snap.
"I told you not to tell anyone," Saïx says, to Xion, I assume, since he's still not actually looking at her.
She pulls his hand away from her mouth. "Axel is helping. We don't have to be alone anymore."
"No. I told you not to tell anyone. No one."
"..."
"You promised."
"Okay," Xion says sadly.
Saïx leans his head against the window and shuts his eyes.
"Hiding?" I taunt. He doesn't even bother telling me to shut up.
"We hide every year," Xion says in a duh voice. Saïx's hand closes warningly on her arm - his eyes are still closed - and she stops talking.
"Jingle bells, Axel smells, I hate everyone," Roxas sings, kicking the back of the empty passenger seat in time to the beat.
"Saïx is the one who smells," I tell him.
"Jingle bells, Saïx smells, I want to open presents."
"That doesn't rhyme," Xion says.
"La la la la la!" Roxas yells. I keep waiting for Saïx to tell them to shut up, but he never does.
We drive for a while. Roxas is upset and bored to tears and hungry on top of everything, which makes it really hard to keep my sanity. Xion cries a lot, though the rest of the time she's chattering away about My Little Ponies in between singing Disney songs. Saïx just sits there refusing to talk or look at us.
Finally, I pull up and say, "Well, here we are."
Everyone looks out the windows. "Axel," Saïx says in disbelief, "this is the airport."
"You said you wanted to go 'away,' didn't you?"
"Obviously I didn't mean..." After leaving his sentence dangling for a while, he finally buries his face in his hands. Xion pats him again.
"Saïx," Roxas asks interestedly, "are you crying?"
"No," he says in a muffled voice.
Some airport official is getting mad at me for loitering in the unloading lane, so I pull away from the curb and start circling around again. "Sai, talk to us. You do realize how absolutely friggin' ridiculous this is, don't you?"
"Of course I do."
Well, that's a relief, at least.
"...I'm sorry."
I nearly drive us into a traffic sign. "You what?"
His head snaps up. "Don't make me repeat-!" Then he closes his eyes again. "I apologize. Humbly. I know I've...made things...difficult for you. And...disappointed you. I had no right to..." He leans his head against the window again, looking tired. "This is so hard," I think I hear him whisper, but I'm not sure.
"Saïx," Xion says softly, "Axel can help. He really can, I think. He can help better than me. I'm not very good at helping."
Saïx lifts his head again and actually looks at her for the first time this morning. "Xion..." He holds his arms out. shame gratitude love guilt hope "Thank you. You're so brave. I neglect you more than I should."
"You should be nice to me," she says happily as she wallows in his hug. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that Saïx has totally gone insane, and we're going to be spending Christmas this year having him committed. Or else my stepbrother's been kidnapped by aliens and they left this impostor in his place.
"Axel, I want a hug," Roxas says.
"Sorry, buddy, I'm driving."
Roxas climbs over and worms his way up into Saïx's arms beside Xion. Saïx laughs a little. "I'm a terrible older brother, aren't I."
"Yeah," Roxas agrees, "but that's okay. Saïx, we're really gonna have Christmas tomorrow, right?"
"No. It's today. Axel will take you home and you can open presents."
Saïx's eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror. shame guilt self-disgust "Axel, you can let me off at the closest bus stop."
"Yeah," I snap, "I'm really gonna leave my brother out in the snow on Christmas Day without a coat."
He glares. Finally. "I'm not going home. Just take the children back and don't concern yourself with me."
I yank the car over and put it in park and climb over into the backseat where it's now insanely crowded. "Saïx, TALK. I will make your life MISERABLE until you do."
"You're good at that," he acknowledges, his eyes flicking to the side.
"Don't even think about going for that door handle, or I will punch you."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"I'm bored," Roxas announces.
Saïx briefly closes his eyes, then looks at me. desperation "Axel, I don't want to go home."
He wants me to understand, but I can't yet. "Why the heck not? What's wrong?"
His arms tighten around Xion (Roxas has wriggled free by now, and is in fact 'shooting' at passing cars and pedestrians with his fingers). "...Those...tracks..."
Takes me a minute to figure out what he's talking about. "You mean the stupid-?" I break off and look at the kids. "Um, Sai, can't really talk about this right now," I say meaningfully, trying to point at the back of Roxas's head without actually touching him.
Hope blossoms in Saïx's eyes. "Let me talk to you outside."
"Sure." I awkwardly hoist Xion over onto my other side and follow Saïx out of the car, slamming the door behind me. We move out of earshot, both already shivering.
"What were those tracks?" he demands.
I explain about Mom's stupid stamp thing.
He exhales and practically collapses back against a fence, looking weak with relief. "So that's what it was..."
"Sai, what is the deal! You're acting like you're scared of freaking Santa Claus or something!"
He glare-blushes and looks away. And doesn't deny it.
"S...Sai...ix... Flaming pants."
"Shut up," he says tightly, all curled into himself from the cold.
"You-!"
"Shut up."
"Are you freaking seriously-?"
"YES I AM!" he bellows, suddenly doomgazing me like he hasn't been able to do in ages. That creepy yellow tinge is filling his eyes again, pupils and whites and all, just like during that hostage mess. "I am! And seeing those tracks out there nearly gave me a heart attack."
"...I have to sit down." There's nowhere to sit, though, there's snow everywhere. We're quiet. I'd like to take my time and leisurely BSOD some more, but seriously, it's too cold to nurse a broken brain. "Why?" I finally manage.
"I don't know," he mumbles, but his eyes are fading back to normal and I can tell he's lying.
"What, some mall Santa sat on you when you were a baby or something?" Come to think of it, it'd explain the whole mall-phobia he'd seemed to have developed since Thanksgiving.
"No," he says sourly.
"Come on, Sai, no one's afraid of Santa! Everyone loves Santa!"
"I don't," he says flatly. He fidgets. I'm just about to give up and go back to the car when he adds in a mutter, "Mother and Uncle Xigbar made sure of that."
...Okay, I think we've officially reached Don't Want To Know territory. I pat him on the back. "Saïx, Santa's not real."
"I know," he grumbles. "Doesn't help."
"All right, well, I promise that I'll protect you from now on. Any mall Santa even looks at you funny, I'll hurl flaming Frisbees at his face."
He smiles a little. "No need to go that far..."
"What about Xi?"
"She is a very selfless person," he mumbles, still not looking at me.
"So that's one kid's childhood you've ruined so far," I say matter of factly. "Just promise you won't shatter Roxas's illusions, okay?"
"Very well. I will lie to him and indeed prove that there is a worldwide conspiracy and adults cannot be trusted."
"Urgh, don't put it like that..."
We both practically fling ourselves back into the car, lips and fingers blue with cold.
"Are you okay?" Xion asks anxiously.
"Everything is fine now," Saïx tells her.
"Axel, can I drive home?" Roxas asks.
"Sorry, buddy, I don't think your feet can reach the pedals yet. Hey, I have to talk to you. You know how Saïx was flipping out earlier?"
"Uh huh."
"Well, turns out he's a really naughty boy. A few years ago, he played a bunch of pranks on the elves and hijacked the sleigh and took it for a joyride and stole presents and gave them to some penguins instead of kids, so now the North Pole police have a warrant for his arrest."
Both of the kids are staring at me, open-mouthed. Xion turns to her brother. "Really?"
Saïx facepalms.
"Yeah," I go on with relish, "so now Santa's goons are after Saïx, so we can't ever let Santa know that we're harboring a fugitive, all right? You ever see Santa, you can run up and tell him what you want for Christmas because Santa still loves you lots, but make sure you don't tell him about Saïx, okay?"
"Okay," Roxas says, his eyes shining. He turns to Saïx. "Saïx, you're really cool."
"There is no conspiracy," he mumbles, "and you can trust adults always."
"Huh?"
o.o.o
Author's Notes: I think this story might actually have had the original MLP reference. XD Now you get an idea of how long ago I wrote this.
"that hostage mess" - UMMMM, so I haven't actually posted that story yet (still trying to get it typed), and I'm not sure if I ever will, and if I do it will be heavily censored and likely not even on FFN. X( AND IT'S AN AU. Because I cannot stand the thought of it actually happening in the main Stepsibsverse. (And yes, I've made an AU - several, actually - of an AU. *headdesk*) Anyway, so the hostage thing never actually happened in this universe, yet somehow Axel is still able to reference it anyway. *headdeskdeskdesk*