Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Character: Addison & Derek
Rating: T
Status: In progress
Disclaimer : Characters and show belong to Shonda Rhimes. Title of the fiction belongs to the Umbrellas. Title of the chapter belongs to Beyonce.
Author's Note: You see? Two chapters one after the other! Honestly speaking, I'm not really sure if this chapter is good or not. Especially one thing that happens almost at the end of it. Let me know what you think, please.

Just like ships, we float through each other's lives.

- Chapter 10 -

[ Halo]

Few days had passed since the breakfast date Addison had with Derek. Her days went by slowly, she mostly stayed at the hospital taking care of Melanie and went to her hotel to take a shower and sleep few hours.

Addison had the time to do a lot of thinking and she came to the conclusion that telling Melanie the truth was the right thing to do even if she was more than sure than a week wasn't enough.

She hadn't seen Derek again since that day. Not that she wanted to, actually. Being on her own after their date, made her realize even more that she was still in love with him. Not that she didn't know it. Actually, she had never stopped loving him in those three years and eight months. She had learnt how to hide her feelings and, after telling everybody that she was doing fine, that she was better off her stupid husband, she had started to believe it. Truth was that her feelings were still in her heart but she had hidden them so well that nobody would have ever imagined how Addison actually felt about her Derek.

Her yellow alarm clock started to ring. The tired woman mumbled something and with her eyes still closed she turned it off. The redhead knew it was 6.00 am. Addison had always woken up that early in the morning in the last few days because she wanted to spend as many hours as possible with her daughter when the little girl was awake.

Summoning up all her strength, the neonatal surgeon slowly got up and took a long warm shower. While getting dressed, she thought that in two days Melanie would have known the truth. That thought scared the hell out of her because she had no idea how the little girl would react to that. Mostly because it wasn't some random guy but Derek Shepherd. Her doctor. The man who saved her life. The husband who left his pregnant wife and started a relationship with a much younger slutty intern.

It was 7.00 am when Addison left the hotel. It was raining and she hated that. The rain was something she couldn't stand. Snow was her thing and she couldn't wait to fly back to New York. Nobody knew that two days ago, Addison had spoken on the phone with Archer and then with Amelia. The three of them had decided that Archer and Amelia would have taken care of Melanie; Addison had let them know that she would have gotten her daughter discharged in less than ten days.

The cab took her to the hospital in less than fifteen minutes and she couldn't help but think that saying goodbye to Derek would have broken her heart because she knew that this time would be for good. Addison knew that Derek wanted to be part of Melanie's life but he didn't want more, he didn't want them to be together and be a real family. He'd be the part-time father who comes and takes his daughter for the weekend. Addison simply hated that. She had never wanted something like that for her daughter.

Her feet walked quickly to Melanie's room. The last thing Addison wanted was to spot Meredith in the crowd. She just couldn't stand that girl. She hated her with a passion. Addison knew that she felt that way about that intern only because she was Derek's dirty mistress. Nothing less, nothing more.

When the redhead arrived in front of Mel's room, Addison realized that the door was half-opened. The door was always closed so there must have been somebody inside. The woman hold her breath and padded along. She heard a familiar voice talking to her little daughter.

She leaned against the door's frame and watched the lovely scene. Her heart started to beat faster, she had no words to express how she felt in that moment.

Derek was sitting on Melanie's bed and they were talking and laughing just like a father and a daughter would do.

"I practice ballet. You know?" Melanie asked, showing Derek a big smile.

"Oh, really?" he asked her back, making a silly voice.

"Really" she nodded "I started eight months ago but I had to stop because of the cancer" her eyes got a little darker "But you saved my life so I'm sure mom will let me take ballet classes again!"

"I'm sure she will" he gently caressed her cheek "Do you like New York?"

"I love it!" the girl exclaimed "F.A.O. Schwarz is my favorite place in the world! Uncle Mark takes me there twice every month and he lets me get whatever I want!" Melanie chuckled remembering her funny times with Uncle Mark.

Derek looked down. He didn't want to hear about Mark but he couldn't ask the little girl to stop talking. Most of all, he hated that Mark had been there for Melanie and Addison when he wasn't.

Addison was listening to her husband and her daughter talking. They were lovely together, they were starting to get to know each other and she didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Uncle Mark…" he whispered "What's your favorite ice-cream flavor?"

"Chocolate Peanut Butter!" she licked her lips "It's the best. My mom doesn't want me to eat too much ice-cream, you know"

"Too much ice-cream isn't healthy, sweetheart" he agreed.

A big smile appeared on Addison's face. She felt something in her stomach realizing that if Derek hadn't left her, this would have been her family. Her perfect family. Her biggest dream becoming truth.

"You're such a doctor!" Melanie burst out laughing "You know, mom often takes me to the hospital with her. She has this big studio where she lets me stay while she's saving lives" the little girl smiled, proud of her mother "Aunt Amy plays with me when she's not busy cutting heads! And Uncle Archer lets me draw on old charts!" Melanie was very familiar with the hospital because she had spent there most of her days, especially when she got sick and she had to stop going to ballet classes and kindergarten.

Derek looked at his daughter, unable to talk. He was taken aback by her words, it seemed like she had a pretty busy life back in New York. She seemed happy and complete even without a father. Maybe she didn't even need a father. Maybe she didn't even want a father.

Addison started to feel uncomfortable when Derek didn't reply to his daughter so she decided to come into the room and join the conversation.

"Hey you two" she smiled, pretending she hadn't been there the whole time.

"Mommy!" Melanie shouted, lifting her arms in the air like she always did when she was really happy.

"Hey Addison" Derek greeted her as standing up "I was… uh…"

"Don't worry, Derek" she replied, trying to make him feel comfortable.

"Derek is the best!" Melanie exclaimed, not caring that her mother was actually speaking.

Addison laughed a bit while Derek felt broken and empty inside. Finally, he realized that he had ruined everything and that telling Melanie the truth wouldn't have made things better.

"I should go" he hissed, his voice distant and cold.

"But…" Melanie started.

"Derek…" Addison added.

The neurosurgeon turned over and walked to the door. He opened it and left, slamming the door.

"Did I do something wrong, mommy?" the little girl whispered, hugging Mrs. Bennett.

"Oh no, honey" Addison walked to her daughter and kissed the top of her head "I'll go talk to him. I'll be back in few minutes. Okay?" she suggested.

Melanie simply nodded and watched her mother leaving the room.

Addison saw Derek walking to the elevator. She started to run because she didn't want to lose him.

Derek entered into the first elevator he saw and didn't realize that Addison was going after him.

She jumped into the elevator, its door closed and she immediately pushed the stop button.

"Derek…" she started, looking at him in the eyes "What happened in there?"

"Nothing" he lied, coldly. His eyes were distant and sad, it was like he was about to break.

"It didn't seem nothing to me" she shrugged.

"Nothing, really" he continued and tried to push the stop button once again.

Addison grabbed his wrist and stopped him. She leaned against the wall so he couldn't reach the elevator's button anymore.

"So?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What do you want from me, Addison?" he raised his voice.

"I want you to tell me what happened in there!" she counteracted.

"Nothing happened" he leaned against the other wall "It's just…" he took a deep breath "She's happy, Addison"

"Well, I know that" she simply said, not understanding what he actually meant with those few words.

"You made an awesome job with her" he looked down "Maybe she doesn't deserve a father like me"

Addison didn't know what to say so she just looked at him. For once, he was the one who was falling apart and not her.

"She'll hate me for leaving her when she needed me the most" he whispered "My daughter will hate me!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" she questioned him, moving closer to him "Look at me, Derek" she made him raise his chin and they looked at each other in the eyes "Everything's gonna be alright. Trust me"

They were so close that she could feel his warm breath on her. He could hear her fast heartbeat.

"I don't know, Addison…" his voice was flattering and confused.

"You don't get to fall apart, Derek!" she yelled at him "You can't do this to me! Not now! You can't tell me you want to be with her and then go all confused-"

He pressed his lips against hers and made her stop talking. She closed her eyes and kissed him back. Few second passed and Derek gently pushed her away.

"I… uh…" he mumbled "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"Derek…" she grabbed his arm "We…"

He pushed the stop button and the elevator started to move again.

"I'm sorry I kiss you" he apologized "I was uh… I wasn't thinking"

The elevator stopped on the second floor and the Shepherds got out of it. Without even looking at Addison, Derek started to walk to his office. His wife went after him, almost running because he was walking very quickly.

"We need to talk about this" she admitted as he opened his office's doors.

"No, we don't" he stated "I'm really sorry, Addison. I didn't mean it. It didn't mean anything to me" his eyes were teary and his voice angry "I have to go now"

"Please…" her voice was begging him.

Derek closed the door and locked himself in. He sat on the sofa, his head in his hands hating himself for what he had just done. He didn't plan it, it just happened.

Addison wiped away the tears from her eyes and walked to her daughter's room. Once in it, she cuddled next to her little girl and told her that everything was fine with Derek. That he had a surgery to perform and that's why he had to leave so quickly. Addison hated to lie to her own child but she couldn't hurt Melanie telling her the truth.

For the first time in years, Derek Shepherd found himself crying and blaming himself for being such an idiot.