Hey everybody! Sorry that I've put off writing for so long! I've been busy! But don't worry! I promise I'll update more frequently!
P.S, I just realized that the pronounciation of Goethe is not actually "go-eth" like the name suggests (in regards to the reference from my last chapter) but "Gur-tuh" So yeah... I feel stupid. Just in case any of you book nerds were going crazy over that...
With the impending humiliation of what the neighbor whould think if he came over to find my brother throwing a hissy fit over German literature that nobody cared about, pounding in the back of my head, I used all the potential energy in my leg for the kick I had saved up for Iblis to enter the crotch of Samael instead. Even after I had made contact, I took extra precaution to leave my foot in the valley for a few seconds just to make sure any energy had not been able to diffuse it's way in on the kick.
As if on cue, Sammy let out a shriek that sounded anything but human and loosened his grip on my shoulder. As he fell to his knees, I smirked at my handiwork (as mentioned before, I'd rather tear my hair out myself than walk away without being credited for my fine work)
Iblis flashed my agonized brother an infuriatingly fake wistful smile.
"Looks like she gave you her nut kick. Hurt's don't it?"
It was common knowledge amongst my brothers that if they found their special spots on the other end of my shoe, they should treat their future offspring as gifts from gods*.
I had no more time to spare among my groveling brother, however. I pushed past a snickering Iblis and opened the door. Samael's consecutive screech following my nutkick had sent poor old Mr. Dawes into acceleration mode. I opened the door right after I had rapidly calculated a justifiable excuse and smiled at the worried face of the father of one of my babysitting charges.
"Hello Mr. Dawes! I'm sorry to disturb you with the little commotion. Egyn passed some gas after eating a burrito while bending down in front of Samael"
"WHAT!?" shrieked Egyn in the distance. On that historic day, he finally raised his voice.
"I apologize on his behalf!" I smiled and daintily closed the door before Mr. Dawes came up with any further interrogation questions.
I heaved a sigh in relief and patted myself on the back for the way I processed and dealt with that little conundrum.
"What in the hell is all the ruckus" came a slightly nasal, cold-as-steel voice.
"Oh, ! #$%^&" I groaned as I turned towards the stairs.
Towering above me (or in this case, stairing) was Beelzebub, looking daggers at me. Judging by his stance, it would not be completely foolish to suggest his completion of completing the conquest of an empire.
"I have been hearing loud noises and commotions downstairs over and over again today. Do you know what loud noise and commotions does to my children?"
Your's Truly was very flustered from maintaining her family's reputation and from trying to escape the clutches of a now-whimpering Samael, a now lying face down in a puddle of laughter Iblis, and a now- incredibly irritated and disgruntled Egyn. She really didn't feel like dealing with another social reject of a brother. In fact, she had long surpassed her "three-brothers-dealt-with-per-day" limit. She had had enough of them.
"I really couldn't care less about your 'children' Beelzebub. And really, after all the _I've had to go trough today, I don't think you should blame me. P.S, they're not children. They are insects who you have picked out of the dirt. They are not your children. Unless you're a stud with bugs, where you are the plague with human girls In which case, that's pathetic"
I regretted the words the moment they tumbled out my mouth.
With his hands balled into fists and his eyes shooting a death glare, he began rapidly advancing down the stairs. If Samael looked frightening when angry, Beelzebub looked downright heartstopping. Any fear I had experienced when Samael was nothing more than a measly shot of adrenaline in comparison to this.
I wanted to run more than I had wanted a pony for my fifth birthday...but alas, Beelzebub's temper had the ability to freeze it's victims to the spot. I feebly tried to break the invisible bonds holding me in place but to no avail. Hopelessly, I closed my eyes and embraced my impending doom. He was rapidly advancing towards me.
When he was in a hair's width from myself he whispered, "Take. That. Back. You. _" in a voice that sizzled with spicy, simmering, swiftly surfacing, rage.
And just like that the front door swung open and the glorious angel of redemption that was my father appeared in the house. I felt my heart lift out of the desolate deposit of despair it was drenched in. I was saved!
With a dry sob of relief, I swung my arms around him and collapsed from the strugggle.
"Daddy! I missed you so much!" I squealed in an Azie-esque manner.
"I was so scared! Beelzebub was going to hurt me! I He was yelling at me and I told him to leave me alone, and he called me a female dog! If you hadn't come back, who knows what would have happened!?"
After permitting my clingy embrace for a reasonable time period, my father gently-but-firmly pushed me away.
"Funny you should bring up Beelzebub, Jezebel" He said grimly.
"I happen to have a bone to pick with him as well"
*When growing up with eight brothers who delighted in tormenting me every chance they had, and knowing that Lucifer wouldn't always be around to give them astronomical visions every time I shed a tear and pointed a finger, it didn't take particularly long for a precocious child like myself to come to the conclusion that I needed to hone my own technique to exert my authority over the pack of dogs I shared room and board with. And ever since the day when I tried to reach a doll Egyn had taken from my grasp, I had been practicing my precision and accuracy to aim cannon balls in the southern region. Five years later, and it had become something of a legend among my little pack of dogs.