Hey Guys,
Sorry for not updating is so long – my stupid internet was down because I was like 99% into the usage limit.
THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH SO ALL THE BIRTHDAY WISHES! I LOVE YOU GUYS! I HAD A FANTASTIC BIRTHDAY! I got a brand new tiffany bracelet! Woot Woot!
Okay, this chapter I tried something different – hope you like it – I recently read the book 'The Red Tree' in class for a picture book analysis unit. It is depressing and stuff and I thought it really suited this chapter so I added all phrases form the book in the chapter. They story quotes are underlined.
Hope you like it.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer – Va not Mine Chris is
Christian picked up Lissa's French Fries and threw them at me.
"Hey! I wasn't finished with those!" Lissa screamed in her high
pitches voice and threw another burger at Christian.
Soon, the four of us were all throwing food at each other for no
reason. At the end, I was the only person not covered in food. I guess
we knew who won the food fight.
"Guys come on. We're going back to the academy now. You need to get
cleaned up." Alberta said, while trying not to laugh at the state I
left Lissa, Christian and Adrian in.
We cleaned up and was about to leave when I heard Tasha call after us.
"Wait! We're coming too! I want to visit Christian for a couple of
days."
Are you frikkin kidding me? Just my fucking luck.
Chapter 10 – Worst Day?
Sometimes the day begins with nothing to look forward to…
Beep. Beep. Beeep.
What the fuck?
Beep. Beep. Beeep.
BANG!
I unconsciously grabbed my annoying alarm clock – pulling it out of
the electricity socket in the process – and threw it across the room.
It smashed against my door and exploded into a million pieces. Shit.
That's the 6th one this week.
Why does my alarm clock always need to go off when I am just starting
to enjoy my peaceful sleep?
Sleep is the only time of the day – or night – when I can fully
allow myself to safety shut off my mind and rest. Sleep is the only
time when I can forget about the cruel, harsh world we live in. Sleep
is the only time when all thoughts of … D- Dimitri are washed away
from my mind.
The previous day's shopping trip's memories poured into my mind
unconsciously. Dimitri. Tasha. Staying at the academy for a visit. Oh
Great.
I stayed in bed a little longer, concluding that if I get up and walk
around the school I might see him and her. I snuggled up in the warm
blankets and waited until the peaceful clutches of sleep overcame me.
No such luck.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
What the fuck?
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Who the hell would knock on my door in the morning? That is a well
known death wish around here. Whoever it is, they are gonna learn the
hard way.
"What do you fucking want?" I screamed from my bed. It took a
lot of energy but I managed to put on a threatening voice.
"Miss Hathaway? Um… s-s-sorry to d-d-isturb you. But, Guardian C-c-
connor told me-e-e to call you-u-u. Your training s-session start-ted
20 minutes-s ag-g-o." Fear consumed her voice, making her stutter.
Poor Dorm Matron.
"Tell him I'll be there in a fucking sec!" I groaned.
It's only been twenty minutes since I've woken up and my day has
already been ruined.
Reluctantly I rolled out of bed and threw on a red singlet top, black
running shorts and my favourite red converse. When I was presentable I
slowly made my way down to the gym, where Chris was waiting for me
outside.
"Hey. Ooh. Hot t-shirt." I purred. At least something good came out
my shitty day. Chris looked as hot as ever in a dark grey t-shirt that
read " Death. Sex. Birth. " and black knee-length pants.
"Hey Babe. Could say the same thing for you. Hot as ever. I don't
expect less." He said in his usually seductive manner while kissing
my check. I love how Chris always makes me feel special.
Even though Chris was making me happy – and I could be possibly
falling in love with him – I still could help but think of the times
Dimitri and I shared. I thought about all the happy times, but then as
I remembered the stolen kisses, loving gazes, and sweet words, I
recalled all the screaming, fighting, differences and departure.
"What's wrong babe?" Chris said, face full of concern. He put a
finger underneath my chin to tilt my face upwards. I looked him in the
eyes – gazing into the brown/gold swirls in front of me. I made no
attempt in hiding the sadness and hurt on my face. Realisation hit
Chris and next thing I know his muscular arms were enveloped around me.
"I'm so sorry babe. I told you, he's a dickhead for leaving
you." He cooed, trying to comfort me. And I must say, being closer to
him physically did help. He kissed my forehead and we fell into a
comfortable silence.
We just enjoyed being wrapped up in each other's arms for a bit
longer when we heard a series of light footsteps behind us.
And things go from bad to worse
Still enclosed in each other's arms, Chris and I turned our heads to
the intruder. My heart stopped as I saw the person in front of me.
"Dimitri…" Chris growled warningly. Regardless if Dimitri and
Chris were practically best friends a while ago, Chris still refused
to like him. I told him that I didn't want to get in the way of their
friendship but Chris constantly told me that any enemy of mine is an
enemy of his.
"Chris." Dimitri said in acknowledgement. He used a similar
threatening tone, obvious to the way Chris was acting. Dimitri saw
Chris and me hugging and a number of emotions flashed through his
eyes. Hurt, loss, pain and jealousy clouded his deep brown eyes. What
does he have to feel pained about? That he's not hugging Tasha right
this minute? That he's not spending time with that man stealing bitch?
Chris and I unconsciously broke apart, but continued to hold hands.
Dimitri stared at us with his stupid unreadable guardian mask in place.
A long awkward silence lingered in the air. The silence was almost …
deafening? With the silence, loud thoughts ran through my mind. What
does Dimitri want? What's Chris thinking? What am I going to about
this drama? The quiet scares me because it screams the truth.
"Roz...ah Rose. Can I speak with you for a minute?" Dimitri broke the
silence. He looked nervous or worried - I couldn't make out his
emotions because his face was blank.
I felt my body go stiff. Chris squeezed my hand and leaned closer to me.
"Go and talk. I'll be right here if anything happens." Chris whispered
in my ear softly so that only I could hear it.
"Thanks. Are you sure I should go?" I whispered back.
He nodded and kissed my check.
"Go babe."
I kissed his check back and with a last hand squeeze, we separated.
I followed Dimitri around the corner of the gym. Why does he want to
talk to me? Does he want to gloat about his happiness with Tasha?
We stared at each other for a bit. The silence was so awkward - just
like before. But what was I supposed to say? 'Oh yeah, Hey Dimitri.
How's the Last couple of week been? How's that man stealing whore been
after you broke my heart and left me alone?' Yeah. That would be a
fantastic conversation starter to end the awkward silence.
"So... Um... How have you been Rose?"
Did he just say how have I been? Did the man that caused me so much
pain ask me how I've been? The nerve.
Darkness over comes you
Something snapped inside me. I felt the deadly clutches of darkness
grasp my body, taking complete control. The darkness fuelled my body,
igniting a growing flame of hate and fury.
"How am I? How fucking am I?" I growled, raising my voice slightly with
every word. By the end of the sentence I was yelling.
He jumped back - both surprised and fearful of me. He has never
encountered one of my darkness bitch out sessions before, so this was
all new to him. He didn't know what to believe at the moment.
"How am I? Hmm... Let's bloody see. A couple of weeks ago, the guy I
loved left me for some whore - just so he could have children. I was
assigned a hot new mentor who - by some miracle - showed interest in
me. I began to develop feelings for him and I finally thought my life
was actually ... Good. Then the fucking dickhead who left me came back
and ruined everything. How do I feel Dimitri? I now feel like shit."
By the end of my little 'confession session', I was panting
hysterically due to the strain of raising my voice so loud. I stared
hard and blankly, trying to keep my wild emotions in check and not
noticeable.
I kept trying to read the emotions on his face, but none were on
display. He did a fantastic job of hiding the emotion in his eyes as
well. I really couldn't decipher his facade. It was ... Neutral. That
just made me madder.
"Are you just gonna stand there, Prick?" I growled fiercely. Again, he
was motionless.
"Roza. I'm so sor-" He began, but I wasn't going to take his shit.
"Don't fucking say you were sorry Belikov. I know you weren't and
still aren't. Get away from me. I don't want to see you ever again.
Stay. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Life." I growled like a strigoi who
hasn't feed in months. The tone of my voice was so fierce that it
frightened me. I couldn't even recognize me own voice. He did this to
me.
I turned abruptly and began to retreat. No such luck.
"Roza. Wait-" Dimitri called while trying to grab hold of my arm.
I turned back towards him and socked him in the nose. I put as much
strength and force into this one blow and sure enough I hurt his nose
break.
"It's Rose not Roza." I spat before continuing my retreat, leaving
him standing there, clutching his nose.
Nobody understands
I ran away from Dimitri when out of sight, in the direction that I came from. Connor was waiting there, pacing up and down. His eyes met mine as soon as he heard me.
"Babe. What Happened!" He exclaimed as he stopped my running. He wrapped his strong arms around my waist, restricting movement.
"Nothing. Please just … I need alone time." I said desperately, on t he verge of tears. He nodded and released me. I ran off towards my dorm, but not before I hurt Chris yell threatening, "What the fuck was that about, Belikov!"
…
"Rose!"
"Not now Liss."
I was running through the commons on the way to my dorm when Lissa called out to me. I felt her worry through the bond, but my dismissal didn't faze her. She ran after me, trying – but failing – to match my speed.
Eventually, I stopped and waited for her to catch up.
"Ros..e, What….was…that…about?" She managed to spit out, while catching her breath.
"Nothing. Don't worry. I need to be alone." I said quickly and began to turn around, but she stopped me.
"Rose…(cough) Please… I can … help (cough)."
"Catch your breath. I don't want you coughing up a lung. And no you can't help. You don't understand." I pleaded.
"Help me understand…Tell me."
"No."
The world is a deaf machine
I continued my long run back to my dorm. Liss's cries for me to stop and let her help me died out and became mute with distance. The world was deaf to me. I was deaf to the world.
As I ran, my surrounding were a blur of colour and my ears were limited to the swooshing sound of the wind knocking against my ears.
I ran into my door, slammed my door and flew onto my bed. Why does this have to happen to me? Why did Dimitri leave? Why did he need to come back?
I screamed into my pillow, trying to drain out the noise of my pain. I refused to cry – but I couldn't control the few tears that trickled down my checks.
Without sense or reason
Classes weren't important at the moment, nothing was. My life was … shit. I put on a brave, 'Rose' face to the world and fooled everyone, including Lissa, but no one knows what I am feeling on the inside. I am dying inside. I am emotionally unstable.
Sometimes you wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait but nothing ever happens
I lied back on my bed, gazing at the dirty white ceiling above me. The ceiling was peeling – that's how frikkin old this place is. Sighing, I continued to absentmindedly stare. And stare. And stare.
Then all your troubles come at once
A series of loud, audible knocks shook me out of my 'trance'. I wiped the few lone tears off my face and opened the door. I was expecting Liss, Christian, Chris or Adrian – but no way in hell did I expect to see Tasha. Tasha. The man stealing bitchy whore.
Plastering on an Oscar deserving fake smile and cheery voice, I greeted the bitch.
"Hey Tasha. Sup?"
"Oh My Gosh! Rose. Lissa told me that you were here so I decided to come and tell you the good news!" I swear this bitch in front of me was too cheery. Wait –
"Good News?" I said, attempting to raise one eyebrow – but failed miserably. Both my eyebrows shot up and I crossed my arms.
"Oh yeah. Headmistress Kirova gave me a job at the academy to teach offensive magic and self defence to the Moroi children! That means I can see you, Lissa and Christian everyday!"
"That's great!" I said with fake enthusiasm. Oh isn't t that just wonderful. Not only did she steal my man, now she's going to be staying at the academy and teaching. Wait – Tasha is going to be teaching here. That means she is going to be living here. That mean, wherever Tasha goes –
"That's not even the best part! Dimka is staying with me and being a school guardian when he isn't guarding me! He can even be your mentor again!"
I froze. Dimitri is staying at the academy now. I sent out some silent prayers. God, what did I do to deserve this? Okay – don't answer that .But please… help me.
Staring at Tasha with huge, wide eyes – I began to shake my head in disbelief. Tasha thought that I was frozen because I was surprised and happy so she hugged me.
"I'm sorry but Chris is my mentor now." I managed to spit out.
"Oh then. Okay. I need to go bye!" She said, hugged me again and left.
This has got to be the worst day ever.
I grabbed my guitar and climbed onto the roof.
I needed an escape. I needed a rest. I needed a place where I could gather and forget my thoughts.
The day's (human night) cool air cut my skin like a knife. I stupidly forgot to bring a jacket during my 'escape'. I wasn't bothered to go back to my room so I just stayed still, gazing into the night sky.
Wonderful things are passing you by
The night sky was full of a thousand twinkly stars. The sky looked as if a black piece of velvet had been lied over above and sprinkled with shinning gems. Bright lights above blinked back at me. So Peaceful.
I strummed a couple of notes, checking to see if my guitar was still in tune – before playing a new song I had recently wrote.
Mmm, stupid in love, oh Let me tell you something, Oh, this is stupid, i'm not stupid My new nickname is "you idiot" (such an idiot) But oh, ya sis repeated you're trying to tell me lies and I just don't know why. This is stupid, i'm not stupid Tryna' make this work This is stupid, i'm not stupid I may be dumb but i'm not stupid in love
Stupid in love, hmm
Never have I ever been a size 10 in my whole life
I left the engine running, I just can't see,
What you would do if I, gave you a chance to make things right.
So I made it even though Katie told me that this would be nothing but a waste of time, and she was right.
Hmm, don't understand it but on your hands,
Just knew that you're sister repeated you're trying to tell me lies and I just don't know why.
Don't talk to me like i'm stupid
I still love you but I just can't do this
I may be dumb but i'm not stupid
Hmm, that's what my friends are calling me when they see me and ringing to my phone, they're telling me let go, he is not the one.
I thought I saw your potential,
Guess that's what made me dumb.
He don't want it, like you want it, screaming and cheating, oh girl why do you waste your time?
You know he ain't right. You telling me this, I don't wanna listen.
Don't talk to me like i'm stupid
I still love you but I just can't do this
I may be dumb but i'm not stupid
But you act like a jerk
Silly of me to keep holdin' on
But the dumb's cap is off
You don't know what you've lost
And you wore all your lies till i'm gone, gone, gone...
But I was the one, which one of us is really gone
No, no, no, i'm not stupid in love
Don't talk to me like i'm stupid
I still love you but I just can't do this
I may be dumb but i'm not stupid
I finished the song and started another.
Verse 1: Chorus: Verse 2: Chorus: Bridge: Chorus: Te amo, te amo, don't it mean i love you.
Te amo, te amo, she say's to me.
I hear the pain in her voice.
Then we danced underneath the candleabra, she takes the lead.
That's when i saw it in her eyes, it's over.
Then she said Te amo, then she put her hand around me waist.
I told her no she cried Te amo,
i told her i'm not gonna run away, but let me go.
My soul has arrived, without asking why.
I said Te amo, wish somebody would tell me what she said.
Don't it mean I love you.
I think it means I love you.
Don't it mean I love you.
Te amo, te amo, she's scared to breathe.
I hold her hand, i got no choice, uhh.
Pulled me out on the beach, danced in the water, I start to leave.
She's begging me and asking why it's over.
Then she said Te amo, then she put her hand around me waist.
I told her no she cried Te amo,
i told her i'm not gonna run away, but let me go.
My soul has arrived, without asking why.
I said Te amo, wish somebody would tell me what she said.
Don't it mean I love you.
I think it means I love you.
Don't it mean I love you.
Yes we can dance.
But you gotta watch your hands.
Watch me all night.
I move under the light because i understand.
That we all need love, and i'm not afraid.
I feel the love but i don't feel that way.
Then she said Te amo, then she put her hand around me waist.
I told her no she cried Te amo, i told her i'm not gonna run away, but let me go.
My soul has arrived, without asking why.
I said Te amo, wish somebody would tell me what she said
Don't it mean I love you.
I think it means I love you.
Don't it mean I love you.
I think it means I love you, I love you.
Terrible fates are inevitable
Dimitri came back, just as my life was getting back on track. It was all fine for him, he was a well-respected guardian, guarding a royal and he was trying for kids. He had a life and future set out for him – I didn't. Sure, I wanted to guard Lissa, but really? Who would let me – wild, disrespectful and bitchy – guard Lissa – the last Dragomir, sweet, nice and probably heir to the throne. My future was dead and broken – just like my heart.
At least Chris makes the pain go away. He makes me feel happy, special and beautiful. I guess I really am falling for him.
Sometimes you just don't know what you are supposed to do..
I stopped playing and just stared at the sky again. I wonder what my life would be like if I was a star. Observing but not taking part in the daily lives and struggles of people. My thoughts went into detail but were suddenly stopped when I hurt a familiar voice behind me.
"Oh Shit. Aw that fucking hurt!"
I turned around towards the voice and smiled. Chris was limping towards me, still cursing after having banged his leg on the roof's edge. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of him.
"What?" He said in an amused tone.
"Strigoi can't manage to hurt you, but a wall?"
"Shut up babe." He smirked and wrapped his around me.
"Wanna talk about it?"
Or who you are meant to be
I pondered this for a moment and decided that I should talk to him. Jeeze, who am I? Rose Hathaway usually doesn't crawl to others for help and comfort.
"Well… when Dimitri asked me to talk to him, he asked me "How have you been?" and naturally, I exploded and yelled at him, then ran away and yeah…"
He hugged me tighter and kissed my forehead. His eyes showed how much he felt sorry for me. I was about to ask how he found me, when another question popped into mind.
"Hey Chris, what did you say to Dimitri after I left. I heard 'What the fuck was that about, Belikov.'"
"Well, yeah I did say that and he said, 'I didn't do anything.' I got mad – since he made everything go bad– so I gave him a black eye to match the broken nose. By the way – nice punch, he's nose is dislocated." Chris laughed. I felt the rise and fall of his chest as his laugh and soon I joined in.
Or where you are
"Afterwards I ran into Lissa and she told me you where heading to your room."
"Oh. Then did you heard about the 'good news.'" I said bitterly.
"Judging by the tone of 'good news' – you mean how the bastard and bitch face are staying?" I laughed at the nicknames and nodded. After a moment, everything was quiet.
And the day seems to end how it began
"Are you gonna be okay Rose?" He asked sincerely.
I looked up at him, just as a few tears leaked out of my eyes.
"It hurts." I answered simply. Never have I felt more vulnerable in my life.
"I know Rose. I'll help."
We stared intensely at each other for a moment and suddenly it all happened with in the blink of an eye.
Chris wiped away the tears that leaked down my cheeks and wrapped his arms around my waist. I stared at him lovingly and he reciprocated. We stayed like that for a moment and then…
But, suddenly… there it is, right in front of her
Bright and vivid, just as she imagined it would be.
And then, he kissed me.
Cliffy! Looks like your gonna have to find out about the long awaited kiss next chapter. He he he. 40 reviews before I update then. If I don't get reviewed – I can always make sure the kiss is interrupted….
Anywayz, hope the chappie was good and I made it extra long. 4,000 words!
Woot.
BTW CAN ANYONE THINK OF A GOOD NICKNAME FOR CHRIS? I NEED A GOOD NICKNAME! PLEASE? THANKS!
*40 reviews*
Xoxo Badass Hathaway.