Jackyl and Hyde

''Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no''

I am not crazy.

I am constantly having to tell myself this, to remind myself. I am not crazy. Even though there's an extra voice in my head. I'm not crazy.

It's technically my voice, I suppose. It's my voice, my tone, things I might say. Except it's always...the opposite. It's always saying something else, something I know is wrong, something I try to ignore. It gets me when I'm not thinking about it. It's like elevator music, sometimes, a minor distraction, but easily ignorable. Other times...it's like someones screaming in my face. I hate that voice.

"Hello, Robin," Starfire says, gliding down the hall and waving a spoon in the air, "come, join us in the frosting chocolate."

It's chocolate frosting, you fucking bitch.

"Sure, Star," I said. In the kitchen, the only thing anyone could bring themselves to look at was the frosting with cake somewhere underneath.

Pigs.

"Save some for me, Beast Boy," I said, dodging a projectile crumb.

Just fucking kill them, for God's sake.

I remember one time, when I told Bruce about it. He looked at me, blinking, and dismissed me to my room. He and Alfred whispered to each other as he dialed the phone. I was sent to a psychiatrist office, and they probed me for three hours until I just told them the least-insane answers I could think of. I wasn't sent back, and I decided not to mention it again.

You don't need them. Get the hell out of there.

Shut up.

"Here's your piece, Robin," Cyborg snickered, tossing a chunk of cake at me, and I barely had time to duck. It hit the wall, leaving a brown stain.

Sometimes, it would just go on and tell me everything I'm doing wrong, everything I should be doing. Everything they should be doing.

Your gonna just take that? Your their leader.

"Ha, funny," I said, sliding into a chair far enough away from the counter, chewing on a piece.

It wasn't an alternate personality, or whatever, because I knew that no personality I would ever have would say those things. It was more like...brain tourettes. It just said, and sometimes, I listened. Maybe to shut it up, or maybe because it praised me if I did. I don't know.

Throw it.

I tossed the remainder of the cake at Beast Boy, and it landed right in Beast Boy's hair.

He grimaced, "Ah, dude!"

Cyborg snorted, shoving Beast Boy towards the sink, "Looks like someone took a dump in the grass."

Beast Boy sneered, grabbing a towel from the stove handle, "Get bent. This doesn't come out."

I had to grin.

Nice throw.

No one ever really praised me quite like that voice.

"Just put some water in it," Raven sighed, flipped a page in the thick volume idly.

Stop it with the goddamn reading.

I think it saved my life once.

I was ten or eleven, running around with Batman, and really had no clue what I was doing. It was dark, Batman was no where to be seen, and bullets were being fired at a rapid rate. It told me, I remember, to duck and run. I did, and narrowly missed getting my brains shot out. If that means anything.

"Anybody want tofu-cakes?" said Beast Boy, lifting a tray of steaming and rather revolting brown stumps of flour and eggs, buried under mounds of chocolate icing.

Shove it up his ass.

Shut up...

"Uh...no thanks, BB," I said, putting a hand up to separate me from the tray.

"Ah, come on!" he squeaked, waving it in my face in what I'm sure he believed to be a tempting proposal. I shook my head.

Kick the little grass stain.

"C'mon, just outta the oven,"

Do it.

"Just a little bite....?"

Beat his little head in so hard he'll be licking his own brains.

"Come on, Bird Boy."

Do it.

"...just a little..."

Do it!

I swung my hands around blindly, sending the tray flying across the room and snapping in half on the corner of the wall. It was silent for a moment, and I couldn't avoid the stares that followed.

"Well, jeez," Beast Boy said, puffing his chest indigently, "if you don't want any, all you gotta do is say so."

The chaos resumed, and chocolate continued to fly through the air. I leaned back on the chair. Raven looked at me, and I avoided her eyes.

Yes, it was a bit of a pain.

And, as much as I hated to admit it...my head would be an incredibly lonely place without it.

Damn strait.

Author's Note: I like the idea of Robin being a little loopy.