Ch 10: Confrontation

"As you can imagine, I could find no words. I could only listen to him unwind the spool slowly," admitted Rin.

Hanzo nodded in understanding.

"He didn't remember many details of that moment when everything changed for both of you. He has clear memories of his life up until then with you at your home, and then of course, what happened afterwards," she explained. Aside from that, he only remembers what he felt at that time: indignation, confusion, anger..."

"Betrayal," Hanzo finished for her.

"Yes, betrayal," she conceded. She could physically feel him wince at that in the way his grip slightly tightened around her hand for a moment. "That night...is something for which you will have to fill in the blanks because he cannot."

It had been years since Hanzo voluntarily thought about the events of that night. For months immediately after, it always came unbidden and he re-lived it every day. When he tried to sleep, it became projected behind his eyelids like some movie that wouldn't stop playing. Over the years, he became more adept at tucking it away under the folds of other purposes such as training and further honing his skills. The more he layered on top of it, the less likely it would see the light of day. And now Rin was asking him to dig through and look at it once more; to tear away at himself.

"You don't have to live with these pieces of yourself that you hate. There is a wholeness you can now have but I just need you to help me put it all together," she appealed as she turned to him, holding his hand in both of hers. " I'm here...and I won't ever leave your side again."

"Sit with me," he said, earnestly.

They both lowered themselves onto the porch. It was utterly dark now as the moon had left its zenith and was slowly preparing to hide beyond the horizon.

Hanzo let out a long breath. "It was a night much like this one. Genji was training in the Great Hall. I had just finished meeting with the Clan elders. Up until that night, their words were nothing new. For years they grumbled the same things to my father who always turned a deaf ear. It created much turmoil between him and our extended family who believed that Genji was becoming more problematic as the years passed. I tried to talk with Genji even while we were younger. He missed clan meetings, dealings, and delegation of responsibility. Things that he should have taken care of either fell through or were given to others who already had other obligations. But still, my father would not press him. I don't know whether it was because he knew it would be of no use or if he believed that I would be a better agent of change."

"That final meeting," he continued "...it had only been a few days after we interred our father in our family's grounds. Genji was silent during the funeral and after it was over, he immediately went to the Great Hall to train. I supposed that was how he was coping. I, on the other hand, had to prepare to finally take on my role fully. And in that meeting a few days after my father's passing, I was tasked to bring Genji back into the fold or to...'pare' him from the family."

"Pare?" Rin asked.

"That is the word they used," he replied. "Now that our father had died, we would be most vulnerable during the passing down of power. If I didn't take care of this on-going issue now, it would be used to topple us and everything our father, grandfather, and great-grandfather had worked to create. They likened Genji to a rotting branch. My brother. Make him a growing part of the tree or pare him down, they said. And if it was to be the latter, it should be done within the family. Should some other clan do it, they would be seen in a position of strength. This was the first thing I was to do as the new leader of the Shimada Empire; to guarantee that our future would be cemented and unquestioned. For all the preparation I had undergone since childhood, I never thought this would be my first act as my father's successor."

"Hanzo-kun..." was all Rin could manage to say. The weight of his father's legacy, his family's expectations, and the dependence of the Clans loyal to him was a burden she could not imagine. And yet, he bore it that night. He bore it and laid it down at the feet of his brother, hoping he would share in it and help him.

"I went to him in the Great Hall. He was wearing his street clothes and practicing with his shuriken. I remember thinking he was getting better at it than I was; he rarely missed. He knew where I had been just before and he asked about it first. I tried to reason with him. The only way it was going to work was if he came to it willingly. Forcing him would be the same as him not doing it at all. Forcing Genji to do anything was not something that was done. My father understood this better than I. Where I was nurtured without having a choice in my direction, Genji had too much."

"He did not want to take part in our enterprises...he just wanted to live as member of the Shimada family and make his own way. But his mistake was in believing that the two could be exclusive. It was our birthright and our curse. When our father passed, I felt the full bearing of his legacy and, as prepared as I was, I realized I did not want to do it alone. I wanted my brother with me. So when he continued to refuse, it was as if he were not only rejecting our father's life but also my own. The first task that was given to me by the elders and the hopes laid onto to me by my father...I felt I was failing them all. I became increasingly angry. We were both unmovable forces, clashing. Though, at that time, I believed he could be moved. And moved him I did..."

Rin placed one hand upon his shoulder and gently squeezed, encouraging him to continue.

"I grabbed his shirtfront and pulled him to me; I accused him of dishonoring our family. He scoffed at that, saying our business should not be considered "honorable." It was not my place to question it but his continued denial of our family only enraged me. As you are well aware, I can be demanding, and it was on great display that night. It only served to push him farther away from my intentions and, in turn, my accusations and obstinacy made him angry as well. When I had grabbed his shirt, he pushed me away into the wall. We fought like children at first: Shoving each other, throwing careless punches, wrestling each other to the ground for the upper hand. I don't remember who landed the first solid hit but it was enough to push us both over the line. It was then that I handled my katana from the stand. For his part, he regained his senses and told me to put down my sword. But I...I only saw my failure in Genji. And failure could not be borne."

"Though I carry my Storm Bow with me now, my first and best weapon was the sword. My first memory as a child was of carrying a boken in my hands. It was not only that I had an additional three years of experience with it than my brother, he was more of a well-rounded warrior. But the sword, it was an extension of me. He ran and grabbed his own katana from the mount and I charged him. I saw the fear in his eyes then. He knew I was not holding back. I carried the will of my father and generations of our family with me but he was only thinking of himself. This was what I had settled upon. This is what convinced me that I was doing right by our clan.

"Stop, Brother!" he had cried. I remember it distinctly. It was after my blade made contact with his upper arm. The cut was as deep as my rage, and blood poured on the mat. "Yield!" I demanded. He would not, was his reply. I charged him again and again. For his part, he was able to deliver some blows, but I felt no pain; it only made me feel justified. I swung at him so hard that our blades chipped when they met. By the end, it wasn't a single stroke that brought my brother down. I connected with him in vital areas of his body, his leg, torso, face, neck. The blood loss was too much and I had overpowered him easily. It was not until he fell face forward onto the mat and his katana rattled onto the floor that I came back to myself. When I ran to him and rolled him over, his eyes were no longer defiant and angry. They were those of my little brother, reaching out to me for help as he did so many times during our training or when he got his kite stuck in our trees. "Brother," he had cried out to me one last time. His eyes fluttered closed and I remember screaming like an animal. For what, I do not know. It would not take back what I had done. It would not bring him back to me. It was then that two of my uncles came out from the shadows. I realize now they were there from the start. They wanted to make sure I followed through with the charge given to me. In fulfilling it, I destroyed what mattered most. They took my brother away and told me I had done my duty. Whatever future remained for me, I knew it was no longer in Hanamura. I had to pare myself from the tree as well, for I was nothing but a broken branch. I left that night with nothing but my name."

Hanzo bowed his head. When Rin raised her hands to cup his face, she felt the remnant of tears that he'd been silently shedding while recounting his terrible tale. She inwardly gasped but recovered herself. Remain strong, for him. She dropped her sleeves to overlap her hands and used them to gingerly dry his face.

After a while, Hanzo's breathing became more even and he noted that the sky was starting to change color. The blackness began to give way to light and the horizon was outlined by violet.

"Did he...Did Genji tell you what happened to him afterwards?" he ventured to ask.

"Yes. And I'm afraid that side of it is no less painful as this one, " she replied, warily. "But you need to know, because it is what led your brother to be who he is today."

"I wish to know," he solemnly said.

Rin held his hand once again. She wasn't so much comforting him as she was preparing for the rawness that was to come.

"When your uncles took Genji away, they took him to the foothills nearby; to the pyre they had prepared. Your brother was still alive when they started the fire."