Chapter 10

Thursday, June 27

Was this a dream or reality?

Olivia's mind pondered for a moment, as she watched Elliot burp Cecilia after giving her her last bottle before bed. After working a nearly 12 hour day, he had finally made his way over to Olivia's like he had promised. They had gone almost a week without seeing each other, due to Elliot getting tied up in a case, and she had missed him terribly. So when he had shot her a text this afternoon that captain had given him the weekend off as a reward for all of his hard work over the past few weeks, she nearly melted inside at just the thought of being able to spend her last weekend before to returning to work with him.

Nearly three months in, and it still scared her shitless how much she loved him, how much she needed him. They spent almost every night together at her place, spending late nights in bed entangled within one another, kissing and touching in all the spots that drove each other crazy. Waking up with love bites, and an imprint on her skin from the searing touch of his lips being on her body.

She loved him.

More than she was willing to admit, but she did.

And being able to spend this weekend together only left her wanting more from him than just a few makeout sessions once they got time alone.

"Why is it that she goes down for bed so easily for you?" Olivia finished drying her last dish, and sat next to him with her legs tucked underneath her. She rested her head on his shoulder, watching Cecilia slowly nod off to sleep.

"I have five kids, I'm basically a pro at this," he teased, winking at her.

"We'll see if you say that once she starts teething," she chuckled, kissing his cheek before getting back up. "If you go lay her down, I'll heat up dinner?" she nodded towards the takeout he had brought over with him. She leaned over, giving Cecelia one last kiss, running her hand through the few hints of blonde hair beginning to grow, before returning to the kitchen.

Olivia watched as he disappeared down the hallway, bouncing her lightly as he made his way towards the nursery. It was astounding how easily they had fallen into a comfortable rhythm, spending most nights together, eating dinner, and sometimes even putting Cecilia down for bed together. It was all new for her. Waiting up for a text that he was on his way, or a late night call to say good night because he caught a hard case. And she wouldn't change it for anything.

No more running. No more excuses.

"How was work?" they sat on the floor of her living room, eating the mystery cuisine Elliot had picked up on his way over.

"Same old, same old. Shit without you there, but we caught the bastard we've been chasing down for almost two weeks," the corners of her mouth turned, slightly satisfied that he was still miserable at work. It meant he missed her.

"I'll be back next week, can you believe it?"

"I can, and now I get to see you almost all day," he pulled her closer to him, her leg crossing over between his.

"Yeah, but we can't be doing any of this on this job," she pecked his lips, her body instantly warmed by his touch.

"Well then we better do as much of this as we can this weekend before work on Monday," her laugh filled the room, as he tackled her to the ground, careful not to put his entire weight on her. He nestled himself between her legs, placing both hands on either side of her while he peppered her neck with kisses. Elliot knew her tickle spot, just a few inches below her ear, and loving the sound of her laughter.

"Okay okay!" she tried pushing him off, but he barely nudged. "Elliot! You're gonna wake the baby!" tears had filled her eyes from trying to withstand from shrieking. He pulled away, a grin plastered across his face, satisfied with himself.

"What are we going to do about Captain?" she asked, sitting up on her elbows.

"You mean when are we gonna talk to him, and be forced to get new partners?" he kneeled back, helping her sit back up.

"Elliot.."

"It's the truth Liv. The moment we tell him that we're together he's going to split us up. Do I have to remind you about Gitano?" she physically flinched at the word. That case only brought back terrible memories, ones that she tried to forget after having nightmares about it for months. Having to make the decision to possibly end Eliot's life ingrained in her memory.

"Look Liv, I'm just trying to say that we need to give this some thought. I don't want to tell him just yet."

"What? You afraid I'm gonna run?" she didn't mean to sound defensive, but his attitude towards telling their captain seemed a little too- hesitant.

"No no no," he pulled her close to him once again, taking her right hand in his. "You've had my six for the past decade, you know my next move sometimes before I even do. I just can't fathom getting a new partner," she gnawed at her bottom lip, giving what he said some thought. Olivia understood all too much. Change would be hard, but if it meant that they would finally get this, then it would be worth it.

"Working with Fin or Munch shouldn't be that bad. You've been working with them since I went on leave in April."

"Yeah, and it's be hell," she laughed lightly. "Why are you in such a rush to tell him?"

"I'm just not looking forward to sneaking around, making sure we don't always come to work at the same time, or get caught kissing in the cribs-"

"You're gonna take me back to the cribs?" a shit eating grin appeared on his face.

"Maybe," she smirked, running along the planes of his chest. "I just can't stand to keep this secret for much longer, Elliot."

"Just give me one more month with you, then we'll tell the rest of my kids, Cragen, then Kathy I guess."

"One month," she held up her index finger, then kissed his lips. He ran his fingers through her hair, while his other hand rested at the nape of her neck. She fell into his touch easily. Although he appeared solid and rugged on the outside, his lips were soft, and nipping at her lower lip, coaxing her to open her mouth a bit more.

That familiar burn in her lower belly had returned like many times before when he would kiss her like this. And each time, it had become harder for her to not reach between them and tug on his belt buckle, in the hopes that she could get some relief. Olivia wanted more, she knew this months ago when he had kissed her right here in her living room. But she also knew that going any further than this was risky. They were already walking on such a thin rope, playing this entire relationship by ear. No labels, or really any clear definition of what they were exactly. And she didn't want to throw whatever they had going, away, for one night.

She slid her hand over his shoulder, gripping him lightly as she threw her right leg over, straddling him. His hands roamed down her back, finding their place on her hips, placing a firm grip on them. He had pulled her so close to him that she felt his bulge press into her inner thigh. Her body responded, a moan escaping from her, causing his hips to jerk upwards.

Jesus christ. If she keeps moaning like this, he wouldn't last very much longer.

Olivia reached down in between them, tugging on the hem of his shirt, suddenly in a frenzy to get his skin on hers. He complied, no questions asked, and helped her pull it over his head only breaking their kiss for a second. Everything had gone from languid to frantic in a matter of seconds, but somehow he had still managed to be gentle with her as he pulled the tank top she had been wearing over hers.

Elliot pulled away from her, revealing in the sight before him, drinking all of her in. Her skin still appeared sunkissed from the day they had spent at the beach weeks ago, glowing under the dim lighting of the living room. She tried to pull him back closer to her, but he gently grabbed her hands, setting them on her upper thighs.

"Let me," he managed to croak out, his voice straining from trying to withstand self control. Lightly, he laid her there on the floor, remaining between her legs as he began licking and placing open mouth kisses to her neck, trailing down to in between her breasts. Her body had been writhing underneath him, anticipating where his lips would go, or not go. He stopped right above the top of her leggings, and looked up at her, hoping to be met with her chocolate orbs, but instead they had been closed.

"Hey," he said softly. "Look at me," she hesitantly opened her eyes. "You are absolutely beautiful," he didn't allow her time to detest, and let his hands roam her body. Starting at her waist, and gliding effortlessly up her torso, he palmed her breasts through the black bra she wore, leaning down to capture her lips. His right hand slipped between them, as he tried to pull down her leggings, before her hand grabbed his wrist. He panicked, worried that he had taken things too far, and too fast.

"I don't...want our first time to be on the floor of my living room," she laughed lightly, her face flushed. Olivia could lie to herself and say that she hadn't thought about how she wanted this moment to go, but she did. And it didn't involve the floor of her living room, next to empty dinner plates.

He smiled at her as he lifted her gently from the ground, and carried her bridal style down the hall. Her bed had been perfectly made, like always, and her curtains were still open. Allowing for the moon to illuminate the room.

She was beautiful, breathtaking even, and he couldn't believe that she was his. He loosened his belt and rid himself of his slacks, before resuming his position. She wrapped both of her legs around his waist, pushing him closer with the heel of her foot. He bucked into her, causing her back to arch off the bed, a moan escaping from her mouth.

"Please," she pleaded with him, growing tired of this torturous foreplay. He followed her command and began tugging on her leggings, and pulling them down her legs.

She's trying to fucking kill me.

He thought, when he seen the nearly see through lace thong she wore. His hand ran over her mound, cupping her slightly, feeling the heat radiating off of her body. "Elliot," she cried. Begging him for relief. He kissed his way back up her body, finally meeting her lips, nipping and running his tongue along them. Her hands gripped his cropped hair as tightly as they could, his touch becoming carnal.

Elliot knew she was ready for him, and he was too. But he had been trying his damned hardest to take his time with her, hoping to remember everything. What it felt like to finally see beyond the fabric of her shirt, to touch her silken skin, kiss her in the most intimate places..

He pulled away, looking into her dark pools, seeing the love she had for him reflect in her eyes.

"I love you..I really do," he whispered softly to her, finally. He ran his hand through her hair, brushing his thumb alongside her forehead.

"I love you," she replied, and it sounded like honey. "Now make love to me-" she had barely gotten the words out before his lips were on hers again.

Right when he attempted to pull the lace panties from her hips, a cry through the monitor stopped his movements, pulling away from her entirely.

"You've got to be kidding me!" He sat back on his legs, scrubbing his hand down his face. Olivia loved Cecilia, she was her heart and soul, but tonight..

"Fuck," she blew out, her breath shaky. Regretfully, she slid from underneath Elliot and went to search for her robe, before disappearing down the hall.

So fucking close.

Elliot paced around her room, trying to calm himself down, quickly over analyzing everything that had just happened.

He was about to have sex with Olivia. Colorful, passionate, angsty sex, after spending too many years imagining what it would be like.

"God dammit," he cursed to himself, frustrated about their little interruption, but knew it couldn't have been permitted. He had confessed that he loved her, and was finally able to get to make love to her, until-

"Ah, there's El," Olivia had returned to her room with the baby nestled in her arms, and a bottle in her hand. "Say 'I'm sorry El, I was just a little hungry'," her voice had switched over to baby talk, giving him puppy dog eyes as she moved towards him. "You uh, you doin okay?" she blushed at her words, turning away from him and sitting on her bed against the headboard.

"I would be better if-"

"I know- and I promise to make it up to you soon," her emphasis on the soon made him groan inward, knowing she had been referring to this weekend. His kids were out of the house for a few weeks this summer, some away at summer camp, a few on trips with friends, and Eli was at Kathy's this weekend, giving him more time than ever to be with Olivia.

He went over to the small space he had reserved in one of her drawers, pulling out a pair of sweatpants to throw on, suddenly feeling exposed. She watched him while she fed Cecilia, flashbacks of what had happened only moments ago, replaying in her mind. He picked up on it too, feeling her eyes burning into his skin. "How about you make it up to me, and let me take you to dinner tomorrow night," he tied a knot on his jaw string, and climbed into bed with Olivia, placing a kiss to the top of Cecilia's forehead.

"Let me guess, I don't have a choice because you already have reservations and a sitter?"

"You are correct. The restaurant being a surprise, the sitter being Mo, and dessert being me," Elliot smiled so hard, the corners of his eyes crinkled. He laid on his side facing her, resting his head in the palm of his hand.

"Asshole," she shook her head at him, rolling her eyes.

"You weren't moaning that 20 minutes ago," he jabbed at her playfully, earning a slap on her shoulder. "Hey!"

"If you keep this up, you won't ever hear a peep out of me again," he loved the playful late night banter, the look of pure joy in her eyes when he was able to make her laugh, and being able to share a bed with her a few nights a week. And he couldn't wait until this month long wait was up, to finally bring Olivia into his kids lives- for good.

Going to bed with the curtains open to allow the moonlight in, seemed like a great idea the night before, but the heat of the early summer sun had proved otherwise. Olivia stirred for a few moments, struggling to open her eyes from the bright morning rays. She had forgotten for a moment that she hadn't gone to bed alone last night. That Elliot had finally been able to stay with her after almost two weeks. She smiled lazily when she seen that he was already awake, watching her sleep, something she had gotten used to.

"Good morning sleepy head," he said softly, threading his fingers through her hair. Olivia Benson in the morning was one of the many reasons he loved spending the night with her. She'd wake up, her hair a tousled mess, her voice a little raspy, and her eyes still heavy from the exhaustion of being a single mother.

"What time is it?"

"Almost ten. You must have been beat."

"Shit. Cecil-" she threw the covers off of her, but had been dragged back into bed when she attempted to get up.

"She's taking her morning nap already," she had looked at him confused until she realized that he had let her sleep in this morning. On his first day off in weeks, he woke up at the crack of dawn to feed, and watch Cecilia, so that she could rest.

"Elliot, why would you do that for me on your day off," her eyebrows knitted together, wondering why he kept doing things for her.

"Because.. I love you, Olivia. That's why- and I love that beautiful baby girl of yours too," the way he easily threw that four lettered word around made her anxious, yet also warm and tingly on the inside. He had told her for the first time to her face that he did, and she had confessed too, but she was still getting used to the idea of someone else loving her- and now her daughter too.

"You're gonna have to get used to this. Especially once the kids come into the picture, the girls are gonna want to help with Cecilia as much as possible," he laughed lightly. Memories of how the girls fawned over Eli as baby beginning to resurface. "I finally told you I love you, now will you let me do just that?" he leaned forward, hovering slightly over her body, connecting his lips to hers. He coaxed her mouth open, gently tugging at her chin, asserting dominance. The kiss remained unhurried and lazy, her entire body relaxing into him.

"Never thought we'd be the type to lay in bed, kissing all morning," she pulled away, her lips swollen already from the contact.

"Never thought I'd get to spend my mornings laying in bed with Olivia Benson."