I do not own Once Upon a Time.

How are we holding up?

Bernadette woke in the middle of the night, still reeling in horror from a nightmare.

"Benjamin." She whispered and moved her arm to the empty space in the bed next to her. She bolted up, frantically looking around the dark room for someone that wasn't there. It wasn't a dream, Benjamin was gone, dead because of her. And a fresh wave of tears came over her.

Bernadette heard footsteps and quickly wiped her tears away. She didn't want Derek to see her like this again. Someone bumped into the edge of the bed. Bernadette looked up, it was only Luna.

"I suggest you stay away from me, I kill people." She said, Luna only dropped her head onto Bernadette's leg. "Fine, you can stay."

"What about me? Can I stay?" Derek asked from the doorway. Bernadette stared at him, was she getting her 'I told you' lecture now? But there was nothing.

"There's no turning back now, is there?" She asked, fully knowing the answer.

"No." He answered simply and truthfully.

"What do I do now? How can I show my face after what I did?"

Now it was pure fear in people's eyes wherever Bernadette went. She had become a murderer, a full-fledged hired killer. She couldn't face Benjamin's family and avoided them for months before stopping her visits to the market completely. Her stall closed up, no one would seek medical help from a murderer. So being a bounty hunter became her full time job.

As did her interest in concocting a vial or something to make her forget. Something to give her peace when the memories of everything horrible got too strong.

The amount of weapons she carried with her went up. Now in addition to the daggers on her belt and in her sleeves, there was one in each boot, one strapped to each thigh, one to each forearm, one down her shirt and one in her hair. Bernadette began to hang around with more dangerous and powerful folk. They gave her simple jobs: getting taxes out of people, getting rid of poachers. Nothing that required real skill, just someone to do the job. She quickly learned that the more power someone had, the least likely they were to get their own hands dirty. Which was where she came in.

One job in particular got her attention: it involved fairy dust. Bernadette heard it was the most powerful magic in the realm, capable of anything. Maybe it was her way to find peace.

The job was easy enough, sneak into a fairy mine that was guarded by dwarves to steal a sack with enough fairy dust to fetch a decent price on the black market.

The fairy mine was huge, or huge for people who were shorter than her. It was controlled by dwarves mostly. It was their job to mine the diamonds, which was crushed into dust. The dust would be picked up by fairy weekly. After that, Bernadette wasn't sure where it went. So her plan was to get the magic in both diamond and dust form. She had her reasons.

Her usual plan for sneaking into a place was to walk into a place like you owned it. Confidence never gave the wrong impression. But here, it was different, she couldn't pass as a dwarf and less as a fairy. So it was sneaking around corners and behind mining carts. She was careful to step lightly as not to leave a footprint to be traced back.

Bernadette found an unattended cart filled with diamonds and quickly shoved a few handfuls into her sack. They were tiny but worth so much. These would go to market.

One full sack of diamonds would be good for today; the merchant hadn't given an exact amount this time. But no matter how much she brought, the price was decent, and if it wasn't, she always said she had another buyer with a better price.

She then found a sack with the diamonds already crushed into dust. This was what Bernadette needed for herself. She was doing experiments with it.

Bernadette pulled the strings of her sack closed and looked around for dwarves that could block her exit. There were none, she thought she had pretty good luck today, as opposed to the rest of her life.

She quickly and quietly exited the mine and calmly walked in the direction of a town that took her a few hours to reach. As usual, she met no one's eye and spoke to no one, not that anyone wanted to talk to her. She headed right to a certain stall that sold pottery, but that was just a front, in the back it was a whole different world.

The merchant saw her coming and handed the customer he was dealing with to his assistant. All he had to do was tilt his head to the back room of the tent and she followed.

"Did you get it?" He asked, standing by the cloth, making sure no one was close enough to hear.

"Have I ever failed to deliver?" She asked, slightly offended. She took the sack of diamonds from her belt. Was she not capable and trustworthy? Well, trustworthy was debatable.

He greedily took it and placed it on the scale. "This is much more than I expected you to grab. Impressive." He picked up a small sack of coins and handed it to her.

Bernadette held in her hand, mentally weighing it, something was wrong. "I think you are missing some gold coins in here."

"No, that is the amount we agreed on." He didn't look up; he was too busy dividing the diamonds into smaller piles. He did pause when a dagger was pressed against his neck.

"Check it again." Bernadette said quietly. Instead of doing what she said, he pulled a smaller pouch from his pocket and handed it to her.

Bernadette took it and put the dagger away. "Please doing business with you. Next you need me, you know where to find me." She left the tent.

Later that night, Bernadette found herself sitting at the table with about a dozen candles. There were plants and herbs in front of her and small piles of fairy dust. This was her experiment. To use the dust and the right plant combination to make a potion that would stop her from having dreams. She needed to block the horrors she saw when she closed her eyes.

First up was primrose and fairy dust. She crushed the flower and added both ingredients with water in a small cup. It fizzed and turned a weird color. Maybe it was supposed to do that.

Bernadette shrugged her shoulders and knocked back her head to down the potion. At least she made it to bed before losing conscience.

Bernadette stood on a cliff, overlooking the ocean, or what she assumed was the ocean. She had been landlocked her whole life. A cool breeze blew over her, it was salty.

Strong arms encircled her and she looked up into the smiling face of Benjamin.

"Benjamin…" She started to say before he crushed his lips to hers, silencing her. All of her pent up emotions was poured into her kiss. Her fears, her guilt, her fears. And she held on to him for dear life, which was the right thing to do.

Her hands were tight on her waist and he slowly began to walk towards the edge of the cliff. Bernadette only realized that when her feet left solid ground.

She pulled back, scared. "What are you doing?" She screamed.

"If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me!" He said before taking the final step off the cliff.

All Bernadette could do was scream as they both fell to their certain deaths. Together, maybe this was the way it was supposed to be, going down together.

Just as they were about to hit the ground, Bernadette bolted up in her own bed. She was screaming and in a cold sweat. Well primrose was off the list. It seemed to make the nightmares worse.

She didn't know if Derek was home or if she woke him. Anyway, she wanted to be alone. Bernadette knew she was not going to get back to sleep tonight. So she sat with her head in her hands and waited for morning.

The following night Derek came home to find Bernadette pouring fairy dust into tiny vials. He didn't say a word and just hugged her. She was confused but did return the hug.

There were so many things he wanted to say or rather needed to say. He had finally caught up with Theresa's father, hoping to threaten him within an inch of his life.

But the scene unfolded very differently than he imagined. It both confused and scared Derek.

If he told Bernadette, it would only confuse her and make the situation worse.

So for her sake, he kept silent.

New job, stealing.

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