Chapter 10: Anger and Confusion

I woke the next morning, surprisingly still in Daryl's grip. Maybe the moonshine had knocked him into a deep sleep. I gingerly tried to move myself out of his grasp, only to be pulled back against him.

"Where ya goin'?" he mumbled behind me.

"Thought you were still asleep"

"Been awake fer' a bit" he said.

"Figured you would have snuck out before I woke up" I said stretching a little. Daryl took the advantage running his hand over each of my wounds. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the feelings it was stirring inside me. I had a feeling he was doing this on purpose. But also as a distraction and to forget about yesterdays events. I couldn't say I blamed him but I wasn't about to be a distraction, as tempting as it was. I could feel his breath on my shoulder. He was making this impossible.

I shook me head and tried once again to move out of his grip. This time he pulled harder, grabbing my other arm. I was now facing him, a smug look on his face.

"So you planned to stay in bed all day?" I asked raising an eyebrow at him. I could see the change in his eyes.

"Yo Daryl. You up man?" Shane bellowed.

"Yeah" Daryl growled loudly, he looked pissed. I smirked back at him, trying to suppress my laughter. I felt Daryl's grip tighten around me again, he didn't like being interrupted.

"We're leaving in ten if you wanna help look for Rick, Glenn and Hershel." Shane said as he walked away.

"Time to get up" I said. Daryl sighed, releasing his grip slightly. I took the opportunity to get up and get dressed, quickly throwing on some clothes, knowing he was watching my every move. I picked up his shirt and threw it at him.

"C'mon get dressed" I said grabbing my bow and walking out of the tent. I heard him sigh loudly and mutter something that I couldn't quite hear.

I walked over to Lori, Andrea Dale and Shane, who were standing around one of the vehicles.

"Do you need an extra hand?" I asked. Shane narrowed his eyes at me, Andrea looked conflicted, Dale tried to smile, then Lori turned round.

"What happened to you?" I asked worried. She was cut and bruised.

"I went to look for Rick, crashed the car" she said looking away.

"You ok?" I asked, She nodded. "So where are Rick, Glenn and Hershel?"

"After the funeral Hershel left, Rick and Glenn went to bring him back, but that was late afternoon yesterday" Lori was looking more worried by the minute, constantly looking back out to the driveway.

"So let's go then" I said.

"Na uh not you!" Shane protested.

"Seriously you need all the help you can get. You don't know what we're walking into. I'm a good shot." I said trying to stand my ground.

"You ain't part of our group" Shane hissed.

"Shane!" Andrea barked.

"No one wants you here" he sneered getting right up in my face.

"Shane!" Lori said sounding shocked.

"You need to fucking leave...and never come back, before I make you" he said saying the last part quietly.

He pushed past me, knocking me back a little. I knew he had a problem with me, for what reason I still didn't know. He had never lashed out of me. It angered me.

Lori walked after him, "What the hell was that Shane?" she asked in a low voice, grabbing his arm.

"We can't trust her. She needs to go" he growled.

"Don't listen to him" Andrea said quietly beside me.

Daryl finally emerged from the tent, unaware of the situation. "We goin' or not" Daryl called to Shane.

"Yeah let's move" Shane said smugly.

I walked away at that point taking the long way back to the tent. I heard the truck pull up, driving quite fast. Then a lot of concerned voices.

"Who's this?" Shane said pissed off.

I could see them all rush towards the house, carrying somebody. No one I recognized. I sniggered to myself, bet Shane will love that.

Lori looked in my direction, saying something to Carol then made a bee line for me.

"I'm sorry about Shane" Lori said sitting next to me.

"It's not your fault. He's just an asshole. What his problem is with me, I have no idea." I said bluntly. "Who was injured?"

Lori looked back tot he house. "His name is Randall, he was injured. Rick didn't really say how they came across him. Hershel's in there now fixing him up."

"Do I have to worry about Shane?" I asked hesitantly.

Lori understood my meaning, as she looked over to where he was.

"Honestly I'm not sure any more...I made some bad choices when I thought Rick was dead...Now I'm pregnant and I don't know if its Rick's or Shane's..." she said through tears.

She was pregnant, that was news to me.

"Does Rick know?"

She nodded. "So does Shane. He thinks it's his, what happens though its Rick's." she said firmly. I think she was trying to convince herself as well as me. I was unsure what to say, so we sat in silence. She wandered off after a little while, making her way to the house, leaving me on my own.

People were constantly coming and going from the farmhouse for the next few hours. I saw Daryl stalk off to the woods in an angry mood. I knew better than to follow him. Shane came out after him, called out but he kept on walking. Shane looked over to me, glaring at me. He started to walk over then stopped, smirking at me, then walked in the other direction. I looked down to see I was clutching my knife, I hadn't realised I had grabbed it.

It was late afternoon now and I decided to head inside, knowing they would want help with dinner.

"Do you need any help?" I asked. They smiled and Lori handed me a knife and some vegetables to chop. I didn't say much, I just listened to their conversations.

At dinner, everyone was pretty quiet. I sat at the smaller table with Beth, Maggie and Glenn. The only sounds in the room were crashing of knives and forks against plates. One at a time each person would look up from their plates and look around the room, catching eyes with a few people. I could feel his eyes on me, he was at the far end of the other dining table but my back was to him.

After dinner I helped clean up then asked Maggie if she had extra blanket I could borrow. She found one and gave it to me with a smile. I made my way back to Daryl's tent. I unzipped the tent, Daryl wasn't in there. I got in, zipping it back up, got changed and wrapped myself up in my blankets. It would definitely help with the cold. I placed my knife above my head, within reach, for safety. I couldn't rely on Daryl to keep me warm each night. I never knew when he would change his mind. I lay down on my other side, the ache barely there now, drifting off to sleep.

I woke later groggily to the sound of the tent unzipping.

"Daryl?" I asked sleepily.

"Who else would it be?" he grunted.

"You're late tonight" I said through a yawn.

"Was on watch" he said as he kicked off his boots and got ready for bed. He didn't seem to be in much of a talkative mood, so I pulled up my blankets round me and closed my eyes.

"What'd Shane say to ya?" he asked quietly.

I was surprised he even knew.

"He was just being an asshole" I said trying to down play it.

"What'd he say?" he said turning towards me, his face hardening.

I sighed. "I wasn't part of your group. No one wants me here. I can't be trusted. I need to leave or he would make me." I said sighing again, getting it all out in one breath.

Daryl let out a huff and sat up. He was angry, I sat up grabbing his arm, he tried to shake me off, so I held tighter.

"Daryl" I said firmly. "He ain't worth it...Daryl" I said again trying to get his attention. He finally looked at me, anger burning in his face. I moved closer to him, slowly.

"I'm fine" I said calmly, squeezing his arm. His face softened slightly and he let out a big sigh.

"If he tries anything, you tell me" he said moving closer, a little venom in his voice.

"Fine" I said calmly "but if Rick or Hershel buy into his bullshit and they decide I need to go. I don't see myself as having much of a choice...C'mon lets get some sleep" I said tugging him gently back to his sleeping bag. He was quiet, I could feel him scrutinizing the situation. He sighed heavily before getting into his sleeping bag. I adjusted the blankets round me again and lay back down still facing Daryl. I closed my eyes as I tried to get comfortable. Once again I could feel his gaze on me.

"You still angry?" I said through a yawn.

"If you leave, I leave" the hint of venom still in his voice.

"Wouldn't you miss people here? Carol, Glenn, Dale?" I asked "The group...they depend on you more than you think."

He shifted uncomfortably, obviously expressing feelings and such was not something he was used to. I reached out for his arm to reassure him, instead I found his bare chest. He froze and I went to move it away but his hand stopped mine. I smiled inwardly, I had missed human contact, especially of the more intimate kind.

"You're over-thinking it, just sleep" I whispered, out of instinct, rubbing his chest with my thumb. He stiffened momentarily before relaxing. I too started relax and started to doze. I felt him shift, so I took the hint and moved my hand, snuggling back into the blankets. He shifted again moving closer, his hand resting on my hip, his breath hot against my face.

"What are ya doin' to me" he sighed.

"What?" I mumbled.

He sighed again, this time louder.

"Confusing me" he said a little angry.

My drowsiness was starting to wear off. And quickly.

"Confusing you? I've told you I'm not your responsibility..." I said moving away a bit.

He cut me off, "I didn't ask to babysit you..."

I now cut him off "So then what the hell are you confused about? Look, you don't want me to touch you, fine! You don't want me to talk to you, fine! If you want space, I'll find somewhere else to fucking sleep. Just don't treat me like this is one sided" I said a little bitterly.

He froze, hesitating. He looked like he wanted to say something but he stopped himself. It annoyed me that he made me angry.

I turned over facing away from him, his hand still resting on me. I closed me eyes again and tried to put the anger out of my mind. It took a while but my drowsiness won out and I fell asleep.

The next few days it was pretty silent between Daryl and I. He would avoid looking in my direction, although there were few times I felt his stare boring into me. I didn't respond. He was avoiding me as much as I was avoiding him. The nights were the most uncomfortable. He would try take watch and sneak in later when I was asleep. I had thought about finding somewhere else to sleep but there really wasn't any room in any of the tents or the RV and I wasn't going to ask Hershel, he was only just accepting the group staying at the farm.

So my days were filled with doing laundry and cooking, helping where I could. Made sure I stayed out of Shane's way. Took up practising with my bow by the barn. I could feel him watching me then too.

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