Author's Note: Thank you very much for the messages you've sent me these past few days. My account got hacked and the hacker deleted all my stories, so it took a few people a while to solve the issue. Back to the story, now. Thank you again!

Chapter Nine

Maura looked tired. Her traits were deep and she had circles under her eyes in spite of the make-up she had applied. The bare neon lights of the autopsy room made her look like a zombie. Jane wondered if her friend had suffered from insomnia. Maura usually slept well. She didn't know what it was like to be unable to close your eyes and sleep. But Jane didn't dare to ask the reason of her friend's fatigue. She felt guilty because she hadn't found the courage to let Maura know about her date the day before. She had tried to but the words had refused to come out.

Besides, she hadn't asked to go on a date unlike Maura when she had gone to the restaurant with Daniel. Jane had been fooled by her mother and by the time she had realized what was going on, it had been too late.

She didn't regret her date though. It had gone well, which only made her feel even worse towards Maura. Mateo was nice, funny and smart. Jane would have never been able to recognize him if she had come across him on the street because he had changed so much.

Everything had been perfect until Jane had realized that, as great as Mateo was, the only one she wanted to have in front of her was Maura.

"How's the Marguerite Duras case going?"

Jane shrugged rather absentmindedly. Her dark eyes fixed upon the empty metallic table and the halo of light that got reflected on it. Everything looked always so clean at the morgue, too impersonal. Jane didn't like it. Maura's office was the only space where life didn't seem to have stopped yet.

"It's not going." Jane ran a hand through her hair as a loud sigh passed her lips. "We're stuck. We've got nothing. The only positive side of it is that we only have one body. God spare us a serial killer."

Serial killers belonged to another category, one that caused Jane's stress to reach its maximum level. She felt a lot of pressure from her superior, from politicians and from media when the homicide unit happened to deal with a multiple-death case. At least the Marguerite Duras victim was probably related to a lone wolf.

"I was on a date, last night."

Sometimes Jane thought that it wasn't her who was sarcastic but life. She had spent an entire day trying to tell Maura about Mateo, in vain, and the words suddenly came up all by themselves at the least expected moment. Maura barely flinched. A mysterious smile played on her lips as she leaned against the metallic table to look at Jane in the eyes.

"How did it go?"

"Fine, actually." It wasn't a lie but Jane couldn't help thinking that it didn't sound right either. She wished Maura had said something back instead of looking so still and calm. Indifferent to it. "He was nice."

"I went out, last night."

Jane held her breath subconsciously. She clenched her teeth and needed long seconds to be able to say the slightest thing. She hadn't seen it come even if now she could say why Maura looked tired. Jane understood immediately that her friend hadn't attended a charity event. It wasn't the kind of evening out that Maura was talking about.

"Oh."

"I met someone."

As a matter of fact, Maura had met several people. They were all Lucy's colleagues but she had mostly hit it off with an archeologist from Scotland. She had accepted to go on a date with him. She wasn't stupid though. She knew that she had said yes just in the hope to overcome the shameful disappointment she had felt when she had learned about Jane's date.

"That's... Great."

Jane looked down at her feet. Her lack of enthusiasm had showed in her voice. The fact Maura had met someone wasn't great. None of the dates she had ever had was great. Jane had always hated the idea of knowing her friend out and about with someone else. But she respected Maura's freedom.

"Are you hungry? I would like to take my lunchbreak now because some med school students have to stop by early in the afternoon."

A bitter warmth wrapped up Jane's heart. She had missed these moments with Maura, these moments when their friendship wasn't dictated by moans and sighs. They had lost the habit of simply having a chat. Thus she was beyond happy to see Maura suggest her to go out for lunch now.

"Of course. How about this new Japanese restaurant? You know, the one that's just opened at the corner of the street."

Jane had driven past it on several occasions and she had often thought about asking Maura to go try it with her. Work and a couple of other things had simply postponed the moment.

"Oh, I would love to!"

They hadn't flirted. For the very first time in a long while, Jane and Maura had been together and alone in a room without thinking of having sex. The tension that had built between them wasn't gone but a blurry timidity had pushed it aside.

They both should have felt relieved but the truth was that they didn't know how to handle it.

...

"Are you going to see him again?"

Jane loved her mother to pieces but she didn't feel like talking about Mateo right now. As a matter of fact, she didn't feel like talking at all. The emotions she felt right now were oddly close to the ones of a heartbreak except it didn't make a lot of sense. She hadn't broken up with anyone. She didn't have a reason to feel sad.

"I don't know. Maybe..."

It would depend on Maura. Jane had loved the lunch she and her friend had shared at that new Japanese restaurant because she had been there with Maura, and because it had reminded her of all these meals they used to share. By the time Jane had headed back to work, she had come to the conclusion that being friends with benefits didn't mean that they couldn't be exclusive. It sounded a bit unusual but perhaps Maura would accept the new rule if Jane suggested it to her.

Perhaps.

"What do you mean, you don't know? You just said Mateo was a nice man. What's wrong with you, Jane?"

Jane looked at her mother in silence. Everything was wrong with her, absolutely everything. Her life didn't make sense anymore and she felt lost, unable to take the mere decision. Something was off.

"Just because I like someone doesn't mean I wanna date that person."

"I figured that out, or else you'd already been dating Maura." Angela rolled her eyes. The innocence of her remark caused Jane to freeze but she didn't notice it. "I've always wanted to have a doctor in the family, after all!"

Jane knew that her mother was joking but she didn't find it to be very funny. As a matter of fact, it even hurt a lot. Having sex with Maura in secret was a lot easier than dating her because nobody knew about it, and because Jane didn't have to justify anything to anyone.

"Since when are you so pro-gay rights?" Jane clenched her teeth as a quiet and cold anger passed underneath her skin. "This is quite new."

The remark must have taken Angela aback because she needed a few seconds to find something to say back. Luckily she and Jane were alone in the guesthouse and nobody could hear them. This wasn't the kind of conversation Angela wanted to have in public. It was too personal for that.

"I've never had any issue with same-sex couples! I'm friend with Barry's mother and I was sincerely happy when she told us that she was getting married. I just want people to be happy, Jane. I don't care if it's with a person of the same sex or not."

Jane glanced at the patio by one of the windows of the guesthouse. Maura was checking the state of her flowers. The hot temperatures of summer had killed them all though and Jane had the feeling to see her friend on another crime scene.

The context was oddly ironical, as if Maura was irremediably linked to death, no matter what she did or said.

"Good."

Jane didn't even realize that she had replied to her mother. Everything had stopped making sense the moment she had realized that Maura was ready to go out on her date. She was wearing a beautiful summer dress, one that higlighted her feminine curves with a delicate grace. Jane swallowed hard. Maura was gorgeous.

And she was gorgeous for someone else.

"I'm busy with work right now. I gotta solve a case... But when I'm done, I'll call Mateo to let him know that I'd gladly go on another date." Jane reluctantly stopped looking at Maura to focus on her mother instead. "Are you happy now?"

Angela didn't nod.

Jane didn't feel any better but if Maura was ready to go on a date with someone then she, Jane, had no reason to stay alone in a corner. She had to accept the facts: she would never be exclusive with Maura because it wasn't what her friend wanted in the end.