A/N: I'M SORRY! I know I haven't updated in so long, but I have two solid weeks of exams starting yesterday. Today was probably the hardest test, so I'll be able to update a little more regularly now. (I hope!)

Ok, time to meet… MRS WALLACESON! (Oh, joy.)

At precisely 9.26 A.M., Priscilla May Hamill Wallaceson arrived at the front of the hotel which her son was staying at. She stepped out of her limousine and surveyed the hotel grounds.

'Looks decent enough,' she thought, accepting her handbag from her driver. Her tiny Purebred teacup poodle yipped impatiently, wanting to be let out of the bag to walk around.

"Hush, Hercule!" Priscilla said sternly. "I will let you out when we get to the room."

Priscilla's personal maid, Antonella, collected the rest of her luggage from the limo.

At that moment, Wallace exited the lobby and greeted his mother.

"Mother! How was your trip? Good morning, Antonella."

Antonella nodded politely, but Priscilla stepped forward to kiss him on either cheek.

"Now, now, Wallace. No need to be so formal with your mother! Give Mummy a kiss…"

Wallace did what she asked, then said, "Shall I lead the way to your room, Mummy? I made sure everything is just the way you like it."

Priscilla nodded and Wallace held out his arm for her to take.

"Good morning, Madame Wallaceson," Pierre said. He had just finished the final touches on Priscilla's room and was extremely grateful that he had done so just in time, lest he incur the wrath of Priscilla Wallaceson so early in her visit.

Now don't give me that look. It's bound to happen eventually . Really, now.

"Well, good morning, Pierre. I trust you've been taking adequate care of my son?"

"Of course, Madame," Pierre said with a smile. "Wallace is a delight ."

What a lie. But Pierre's not really a bad guy, he just needs the money.

"Antonella!" Priscilla commanded sharply. "Take Hercule for a walk. He needs to stretch his legs."

Antonella tried to hide her sigh as she lifted tiny Hercule out of the handbag and hooked his leash onto his diamond-encrusted collar.

"Now," Priscilla said, turning to Wallace. "This girlfriend of yours. I should like to meet her immediately."

"Uh…well, Mummy, she has to get ready to meet us at dinner tonight. She is probably at the day spa or hairdresser…we really mustn't bother her…"

Priscilla shot him a look but decided to comply.

"What time is dinner, then?"

"At 7.00 tonight," Wallace answered, feeling relieved that his mother didn't push him to let her meet his 'girlfriend' right now.

Priscilla nodded and began to unpack her things, placing her jewellry box on top of the dresser and hanging several dresses in the closet. She would decide what to wear later. But more importantly…

"OH WALLACE! Let Mummy help you decide what to wear tonight!"

Oh, the horror.

Back in their suite, House and Lisa were trying to make the most of the time they had before meeting Mrs Wallaceson. They were snuggled on the couch watching some television, House's lanky form draped lazily over her.

But the more she thought about the impending meeting, the more anxious she became. Lisa realized that she knew nothing about Mrs Wallaceson- not even her first name. And would she be as pompous and annoying as Wallace? He was enough to deal with. She really (gasp) sympathized with House. Wallace was, in truth, bullying him, and now Wallace was blackmailing her! This was just getting more ridiculous by the day.

Sigh. So much for a relaxing vacation.

She turned to House when she felt him shifting beside her.

"You ok?"

House was quiet for a moment, then said, "Do you really think this is a good idea?"

Lisa was a little surprised that House was so in tune with her.

"No. But I don't think we have a choice, House. I mean, his father donated so much to the hospital. If I lose that…" she trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

Because the reality was, without the proper funding, she wouldn't be able to pay for House's (albeit less frequent) lawsuits for rudeness to patients or risky procedures. And if she couldn't pay for the lawsuits, House would be stamped as a LIABILITY, and possibly fired.

And she DEFINITELY didn't want that.

It was then that she decided that, should he be fired, she would also leave the hospital. It wouldn't be the same without him. Though the board would probably protest…hell, they might even comply with her demand of keeping House if they wanted her to stay enough. The board didn't disapprove of the relationship as much as it pretended to. In fact, at the end of the board meeting at which she had told them, many of the members had actually congratulated her!

And when she had told Brenda, she was ecstatic! In truth, Brenda didn't HATE House, per se, he just…REALLY REALLY ANNOYED her- like a bothersome younger brother. But that people at the hospital were genuinely glad for Lisa and House, and glad that they had found their own happiness with each other…well, that actually meant a lot to her.

It must be hard to hate House, Lisa decided then. Well, she knew that firsthand- she had tried to hate him once, at least a little, but she hadn't been able to do. It was a wonder to her that people like Tritter or House's father could actually TRUTHFULLY hate him. Yes, he could be cold, or mean, or a jerk (or all three!), but she could never find a reason to truly hate him. Nor could she think of any for them to, either.

'They must be jealous,' Lisa thought.

And as cliché as it sounded, that HAD to be it. House was brilliant and charming and funny, (not to mention handsome, she added mentally) and if he let you really get to know him, his cute, playful personality would win you over (Come on, you remember how he was when he was on the ketamine!). House being a smart-ass was no defense. Everyone's a smart-ass SOMETIMES! She had been smart with her parents (and others!) before, but they didn't hate her or take her to court or do whatever-the-hell House's father did to him (after his last nightmare, she decided that she didn't want to know). So, the only logical conclusion was that they must be jealous.

Lisa sighed aloud. She was mentally exhausted, which is sometimes worse than physical exhaustion.

House, ever observant, sensed her inner turmoil and snuggled closer to her, stroking his thumb in what he hoped was a soothing way on her back.

Lisa just looked at him, her anxiety easy to see on her face. House thought it might be time for him to do what he does best.

No, he's not going to diagnose her. She's not sick.

NO, they are NOT going to make love now! Maybe later though.

THAT'S RIGHT! It's time for a DISTRACTION!!! (Cue canned laughter. Or applause. Either is fine, really.)

"So, Lisa," House said, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "how about you let me help you decide what to wear tonight?"

Is this scarier than Wallace's Mummy helping him? I'm not so sure which is worse at this point.

That evening, Priscilla Wallace prepared to meet her son for dinner. She picked out a floral-print dress, which Antonella was currently ironing, and a light pink bolero to go with it. She was sat at her vanity table, arranging her hair and make-up.

'After I finish,' she thought, 'I'll go help Wallace with his ensemble. Then I'll finally meet the woman who has captured my dear son's heart!'

While Priscilla was excited at the prospect of him marrying this woman and giving her grandchildren, she had to admit that she wouldn't like not being the only woman in Wallace's life. But so long as he was taken care of…

"Um…Madame? Your dress is ready," Antonella said softly.

Hercule dashed around her feet as she surveyed the dress as she held it in the air.

"Hercule! Behave yourself, dear. I fear someone may step on you," Priscilla scolded the dog. It was true that he could be stepped on easily, however- even with his high-pitched yips, his nineteen centimetres were not so noticeable.

Hercule more or less ignored her, and dashed off somewhere else to find something to play with. Perhaps after Priscilla left, he'd play with Antonella, or beg a pretty hotel maid for some table scraps…

"Well then, Antonella," Priscilla said briskly after adorning her jewellry, "I'll be off. Hercule, behave yourself."

Priscilla left her suite and headed in the direction of Wallace's room.

Oh yes, she could hardly wait to meet this woman.

Wallace NEVER disappointed his Mummy.

Well, almost never.

A/N: What do you think of Mrs Wallaceson?

I named Hercule after 'Hercule Poirot' from Agatha Christie. I love her books (and Poirot!) and I thought that a tiny teacup poodle would be the perfect candidate to be named Hercules!

By the way, Teacup poodles really ARE that tiny. I once saw a puppy that was only about 14 centimetres!

And I think I may have accidentally admitted how cute I thought House was on ketamine (**). Or maybe that episode was when he became my favorite character on the show, although I only realised this recently, when Cuddy was being a total bitch to him...

Anyway, please tell me what you think of this chapter, and what you think I could do better!

XD Sharky