That night, Draco and Astoria tried for the very first time without Astoria taking pregnancy protection potion. Draco was struggling; it was difficult to relax when he knew that the end result could bring Astoria harm. In the darkness, Astoria still noticed that Draco was finding it difficult.
"Hey" she whispered softly. When he ignored her, she whispered it again.
Understanding full well that he wasn't living up to expectations, Draco gave up and lay down on the bed beside Astoria. He felt frustrated and humiliated. He rolled over so he was facing away from her. She placed her hand gently on his shoulder.
"Draco, it's ok." She spoke softly.
"It's not ok," he said sharply. "How can we have a baby if I can't even - " He made a low, angry noise.
"Look, we're rushing into things." She didn't appreciate talking to the back of his head, but right now it would have to do. "We only just decided that having a baby would be a good thing for us, what, a few hours ago? Maybe we should get used to the idea first."
Silence.
"Ok, if you're going to ignore me, I'm going to go to sleep." Astoria rolled over and turned her back on her husband. As much as she loved Draco, she couldn't stand it when he acted like a sulky child the second things didn't go his way. She completely understood why he hadn't found it easy; deciding to try for a baby was a big thing - in their case, it was a huge thing. She knew he'd have had thoughts of her struggling through pregnancy in the back of his mind. But if they were serious about trying, that was something he was going to have to deal with.
She felt Draco fidgeting in bed beside her.
"Goodnight, Astoria," he mumbled.
"Goodnight, Draco" she whispered back.
The next morning, Draco woke up with a brilliant idea.
"Let's go to Italy," he said to Astoria as she arrived downstairs for breakfast. "Let's go to the villa. Stay there while we... try. "
Astoria looked at him doubtfully. "Where did this come from?"
"I don't know. We'll both be more relaxed there. No-one around to interrupt or ask questions."
Astoria glanced around the room. "Draco, we live here alone. No-one's interrupting or asking questions."
"But they could! Your mother could appear in that fire place at any moment!" he said dramatically, pointing to the nearby grate. "Or Daphne!" He shuddered at the thought.
Astoria struggled to stifle a laugh. "You're being ridiculous. No-one ever comes here without tell us first."
"Ok, maybe I'm being a bit extreme. But I still like the idea. We'll get to spend some quality time together, no bother from anyone... Astoria, trying for a baby is a big deal. I want to do this properly. I want it to be special."
"You're serious, aren't you?" She looked up at Draco carefully.
"Of course. Aren't I always?" He looked right back at her.
"Ok," Astoria said breathlessly. "Let's do it. Let's go to the villa for a while... see how it goes."
A week later, Astoria and Draco had been at the villa in Italy for several days and, true to his word, Draco was a lot more relaxed there. They'd upped and left without really giving their families any warning or explanation, but that was probably for the best. Astoria couldn't imagine that her family would be too thrilled at the thought of her trying to get pregnant.
Lounging near the pool, Draco had is nose in a book; it'd taken Astoria a while to realise just how much of a bookworm Draco actually was.
"You didn't read this much at school, did you?" she'd asked him one day. The teenage Draco she had vague memories of definitely thought himself too cool to be reading books all the time.
"I did actually," he'd surprised her by answering. "At night. The other boys used to laugh at me but I was the one having the last laugh. I have more brain cells than the bunch of them put together."
Astoria wasn't much of a reader. She preferred magazines to books, though she enjoyed a good novel from time to time, too.
As time passed, Astoria had to admit it hadn't been a terrible idea of Draco's, coming to Italy. She hadn't been over enamoured to begin with, but she was certainly settling into life at the villa. It was nearing the end of September now, and the sun still shone most days. Astoria liked being in the sun a lot more than Draco did - her skin turned a lovely, sun-kissed shade of brown fairly easily; quite the opposite of her husband, who with his pale complexion struggled to deal with temperatures over fifteen degrees celsius.
Sometimes, the two of them would go exploring during the day, just for a few hours. They would stroll through vineyards and stumble across tiny villages. Most of the time, they would just stay at the villa and enjoy each other's company. Unfortunately, even in Italy, Astoria couldn't escape her bad days; although Astoria's potion dosages had been raised, she still struggled to keep her symptoms under control for a couple of days a month, sometimes more. Draco was becoming more accustomed to her bad days now - he knew exactly what to do and how to make her feel comfortable. The best thing for Astoria was that, on the good days, Draco would act as though her bad days hadn't even happened. She knew how hard that must be for him.
"It's going to be harder when you're pregnant, isn't it?" he mused one day, over lunch. "When you have a bad day."
"I would imagine so," Astoria said truthfully.
"Does it scare you?" he asked.
"A bit. But there's no doubt in my mind that it'll be worth it."
Draco offered a small, sad smile. "I hope so."
As September rolled into October, grey clouds made frequent appearances in the sky and rain started falling almost daily. With the days and weeks ticking by, it wasn't only the weather's mood that took a turn for the worst, but Draco's too. He and Astoria were trying every day that she was able, sometimes more than once a day, but to no avail. So far, Astoria had done three tests; every time, the potion had turned purple - negative.
With November drawing nearer, Draco grew more and more frustrated.
"It's me, isn't it?" he asked aloud one day, after Astoria's fifth test. Astoria could detect the frustration in his voice. She knew she had to tread carefully.
Astoria raised an eyebrow. "I think we both know very well that if we have any trouble conceiving, it's going to be me that has the problem, not you."
"What do you mean, if? We are having trouble, Astoria, we've been trying for weeks! It's like - I don't know, it's like we're cursed or something!"
Astoria's face fell. Draco instantly realised the foolishness of his words.
"I'm - I'm sorry. Bad choice of words."
"You can say that again." Astoria glared at her husband for a moment, her arms folded. An awkward silence filled the room. She signed heavily. "Draco, these things take time. You can't just expect me to be pregnant the moment we decide to start a family. You sulking and getting all self pitying over the situation isn't going to improve matters, is it? And saying 'oh, the problem's me', how do you think that makes me feel? I know full well that I'm the reason we're struggling here, and so do you."
Draco took on board what Astoria had to say. She was completely right: he was being selfish. And thoughtless. He could hex himself.
"I'm really sorry," he said sincerely. Astoria was now staring at the floor; he made his way over to her, reaching out and gently raising her head with a finger so that her gaze met his. "You're right, I am feeling sorry for myself and I'm being stupid. We're in this together and I'm acting like - anyway look, I'll relax. I'll stop stressing out over it. If it happens, it happens. I guess I just... the other month, I saw how much us having a baby means to you and... I don't know. I suppose I'm pretty attached to the idea now, as well."
Astoria couldn't help but smile. "I'm really glad you feel that way... but you really do need to relax. You're so intense sometimes."
"I know." Draco nodded understandingly. "I promise I'll stop getting so worked up about it."
"Good. Thank you."
"I'm sorry... what I said about being cursed, it was - "
"Forget about it," she said quietly.
Draco wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "Me and my big mouth," he scorned himself.
Astoria smiled against his chest. While Draco did sometimes say things without thinking in the heat of the moment, she could never stay angry with him; she loved him far too much and life was far too short to waste time being angry with the people you love.
Time passed quickly and before Draco and Astoria knew it, December had arrived, bringing with it brief flurries of snow. They'd been at the villa for three months now, and hadn't seen either of their families in as long.
"Perhaps we should go into one of the villages and get a Christmas tree," Draco suggested, as he gazed out of the window one day.
It suddenly dawned on Astoria that her husband had no intentions of returning to England for the festive period. She had other plans.
"Draco, we're going home for Christmas," she said gently. It wasn't a question.
Draco looked around at her. "Oh. You want to go back for Christmas?" He sounded disappointed.
Astoria crossed the room, placing her hand on the small of his back when she reached him. "Wasn't that always the plan?"
"I don't know, I guess I didn't think it would... I didn't think we'd still be here in December at all. But since we are, I presumed we'd just stay."
Astoria shook her head slowly. "Draco, if I do manage to get pregnant - I know this isn't what you want to hear but, if we have a child, there's a small chance this could be my last Christmas."
Draco frowned deeply at this. He hadn't thought of it like that. Or rather, he'd fought to tell himself that weren't the case.
"No matter how small the chance, I'd like us to spend this Christmas with my family, rather than just the two of us. I know it's our first one as husband and wife but... I hope you understand."
"I do," Draco said. He could hardly argue against it could he. "Just let me know when you want to head back and I'll get a portkey arranged."
"Thank you," Astoria said, hugging him from behind. "Maybe we could spend another week here and then go home."
Draco was smiling. He liked it when Astoria hugged him the way she was. "Sure. Whatever you decide."
It was December 15th, the day before Draco and Astoria were due to return home for Christmas and New Year. With the evening drawing near, Draco was busy starting a fire. For the last week or so, he and Astoria had spent their evenings relaxing on a rug as the flames flickered in the grate, drinking hot drinks, talking and playing cards into the early hours.
Astoria thought she'd take advantage of Draco being preoccupied and take one last pregnancy test before they headed back to spend the next three weeks with her family. So far, Draco had been with her every time she'd done a test. With each test she took, her hopes of the test being positive were fading and so were Draco's, so she'd rather do the final one of the year alone - at least it would save one of them the frustration of watching the potion turn purple for the umpteenth time.
She headed through to the bathroom, retrieving a vial of potion from the cabinet and doing what she needed to do. Then she waited. Although the potion only took 45 seconds to react, the wait felt like a lifetime every single time. She sat on the toilet, the vial gripped tightly in her hand, her eyes closed. She counted to 45 but, without Draco there, felt too afraid to look. Another minute passed before she took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes. The potion wasn't purple. It was green. Positive.
Astoria's heart started hammering inside her chest. It had finally happened. She sat very still for a few minutes and tried to let the news sink in. She was going to be a mother. After a long while spent collecting her thoughts, she got up and balanced the vial carefully on the edge of the sink. She bit her lip, feeling a little guilty that Draco hadn't been there to witness the potion turn green. But now she got to tell him herself and she was so excited.
She left the bathroom and padded down the hallway and into the lounge where she found Draco sat in an armchair, the fire burning at his side. It had grown dark outside.
"Draco."
He looked up from whatever it was he was reading. He could sense that something had happened immediately. "Astoria?" He watched as a smile spread across her face. Something good had happened.
She made her way over to the armchair and sat herself carefully in his lap, taking his hand in hers. She placed his hand carefully on her stomach and smiled. Draco's eyes lingered on his hand resting on her stomach for a few seconds before he looked back up at her, his eyes wide with surprise.
"You're..?"
"Yes! You're going to be a dad, Draco," Astoria confirmed, her voice full of excitement.
"Are you - you did another test?"
Astoria nodded. "I'm sorry I did it without you. I just wanted to save you the disappointment... but then it wasn't purple."
"Don't apologise!" he said. "This is... I can't believe it!" He laughed breathlessly, his hand still resting on Astoria's tummy. His eyes met hers and he gave her the same determined stare he'd given her just before he'd asked her to marry him. "Thank you," he whispered.
Astoria shook her head, still smiling. "Don't thank me. We did this together."
She rested a hand on his cheek, the other covering his hand on her stomach. Draco pulled her towards him, kissing her deeply. She melted into him.
"We're going to be parents," he said in awe once they'd stopped kissing. It was going to take a while for the news to sink in; although it was completely planned, Draco had actually been losing any hope of he and Astoria conceiving in recent weeks. Now it had actually happened, he couldn't quite get his head around it.
That night, he and Astoria went to bed feeling incredibly elated. With Astoria lying on her side, Draco lay behind her, his hand resting protectively over her stomach. Astoria was smiling in the darkness.
"Are we going to sleep like this every night, now?" she asked softly.
"Yes," Draco replied. She knew he meant it. "I have two people to protect now, don't I?"
"You're going to be the best dad, you know that?" she told him sincerely. She genuinely didn't believe anything more than she believed that.
"I'm going to try my hardest, I know that much. I just want our child to have something I never did with my father. The freedom to be whoever they want to be."
Astoria squeezed his hand in understanding. "Are you hoping for a boy?" she asked after a long silence.
"I wouldn't mind either way, as long as you're both healthy. That's the most important thing to me. I know you must be scared, Astoria, underneath the excitement, but we are in this together. I know I can't take your pain away, but I'll do everything I can to help you though this pregnancy."
"I know you will," she whispered. "I'm sort of hoping for a boy, by the way," she confessed. "I like the idea of a little baby boy with blond hair and a pointy nose, just like his daddy."
Draco smiled. He held Astoria close and kissed her head, not quite believing his luck.
Family had always been incredibly important to Draco, despite his rocky relationship with his father. December 15th 2005 was the day he learnt that he and Astoria were to start a family of their own. As he lay there in bed with his arms around his wife and his hand resting on their unborn child, he felt as though he'd been given a chance to prove he'd become a better person. If he knew one thing for certain, it was that there wasn't a chance he was going to mess it up.