Drowning in Spite
Summery: The summer of fifth year—the days of developing, growing and adventure of the teenage experience. But what happens when your innocence is abruptly taken from you? With no heart, no conscious and absolutely no one to hear your cries—what are you to do? Draco Malfoy finds out the hard way, after being introduced to the most secretive Malfoy tradition ever known. And the only person there to hold his bleeding heart is the last person he could ever want to see. Come; read this story as all the characters go through riveting experiences concerning the coming of age, sexual preference/exploration and the meaning of life.
Disclaimer: Sorry, but I don't own any of the characters.
Warning: This is a very Dark fic. Please DO NOT READ if you are offended by ANY of this.
A/N: Okay, so they're more mature this year. The story is a little lighter from here on out, Draco's father isn't around, and Hermione seems to be fitting into her own skin comfortably now. This story is off to a smashing bang!
Chapter Ten: Faggot
Draco had never been so calm since his fifth year. He felt as if he was floating on a cloud as he went to class, did his homework and flirted with a now accepting Granger. It was now November, nearly three weeks since their escapade on Halloween.
That evening they sat in the study together, Hermione at his side, her face in an opened Charms book. She smiled to herself from time to time. Draco twitched in his seat, wanting to touch her bare leg showing due to her short pajama pants, despite the coldness of the tower. She giggled this time, and turned to face him. Some of her hair escaped the ponytail sitting at the top of her head, and it fell perfectly in her face. Draco pushed them out of her eyes and smiled back at her.
"You see this?" she asked, pointing at a letter in the book. "When you jinx someone, you have to make sure the person doesn't have a heart condition…that's the answer to number one," she said, looking over at his question parchment.
"Thank you," Draco said, looking down his paper and scrawling the answer down. She analyzed his face and bit her lower lip as he looked up from his parchment. "If someone were to use the Arvada curse, what would happen to the person casting it?" Draco asked, looking through the book.
"They lose ten percent of their soul, depending on the strength of the victim. The more powerful the victim magically is, the greater the damage on the caster," she answered. Draco smiled and wrote the answer down.
"You're like a walking text book, aren't you?" He asked. She shook her head and wrote out her own answers. She sat her quill in its ink bottle and bit her lip again. Draco saw this as a sign of nervousness.
"Do you think I'm a know-it-all?" Hermione asked calmly. Draco sat back in his chair and gave her a surprised look.
"You're smart Granger, and you know a lot, but not all of it," Draco said.
"Thank you…that was sweet." She kissed him on both cheeks and stood from her chair to walk into the common room. Her tank top did little to hide her chest as she touched her toes to stretch.
"…no problem…" Draco said, watching her stretch. She walked over to the fire and sighed, enjoying the warmth.
Draco went back to his questions for charms, eager to finish his last assignment of the night so he could relax. He scrawled down his answers, not caring if his penmanship looked good or not. He closed his book happily and left the study room. He looked around and couldn't find Hermione.
"Hermione?" Draco shouted. No response. He had just seen her a few minutes ago stretching near the fire, and now, she wasn't there. He heard a crash come from the reading room, and he ran towards it, throwing open the cracked door.
Lucas sat calmly in an armchair, as Hermione lay out on the rug, unconscious.
"How did you get in here?" Draco asked angrily. He went to Hermione's side.
"She thought I was an owl…I flew right in and knocked her over with that—" Lucas pointed to an edition of Hogwarts: A History.
"BASTARD!" Draco screamed, now seeing the dark bruise on Hermione's cheekbone. "You could have seriously hurt her!"
"Shut it Draco! I came here because we had a deal…we had a promise…"
Draco dragged Hermione away from Lucas, "I don't care! It's over!" Draco cried, lifting Hermione and placing her on a sofa. She groaned and fell silent once more. Lucas had jumped onto his feet, slamming Draco into a bookshelf.
"You little faggot…" he hissed. "Do you think you're straight now because you're fucking this monster?" Lucas shook Draco. "You'll never be straight. You'll never clean up the mess that's been injected into you—your customers marks, your vivid memories and most of all, Jon! Are you forgetting about your boyfriend?" Lucas asked firmly. Draco shivered.
"He's dead Lucas."
"I'll bring him back…" he said simply. "I know a little Cuban witch that can bring back the dead, in exchange for another life," Lucas pointedly looked at the resting Hermione. Draco pushed his hands away.
"You've got to be kidding! That's ILLEGAL, and I would never do that to Hermione…no matter…how much I loved Jon!" Draco cried, stepping away from him.
"Are you sure Draco? Are you sure you love her more than Jon? He stuck by you…to the very end."
"Why are you doing this to me? Why are you hurting me?" Draco asked, tears forming in his eyes. Lucas slowly made his way towards him, touching Draco on the face tenderly.
"I don't want to hurt you, Baby. I want you to come home to me, come home to daddy," Lucas whispered, he pulled Draco to him and kissed him feverishly, with teeth and tongue. Draco pushed him away, but Lucas couldn't help but laugh and grab at Draco's erection.
"Gay boy playing it straight? What are you really playing at Draco?" Lucas asked, placing his mouth over Draco's once again, and slipping his hand down Draco's pajamas to stroke him. Draco moaned and grinded into Lucas's hand, "That's a good fag…come in daddy's hand…"
"Stop it!" Draco hissed, grabbing Lucas's hand and pulling it from out of his pants. Lucas purred and took his soaked hand and wiped it down Draco's shirt. "You're disgusting!" Draco shouted in protest, he glanced down at his now damaged shirt.
"Well fuck you too…you tell me to stop after you're done you dirty wanker…you come in my hand, and then you tell me to stop! Stop what?" Lucas grinned. "Still the little faggot…come home and leave the bitch."
"Hermione is not a bitch! I…I love her."
"So you're getting a taste of the opposing team…don't get lost in her bush, Draco. She's not like us…she can't make you feel the way I can, or how Jon did, now can she?" Lucas pressed his body up against Draco's, and Draco reluctantly shook his head.
"No…she can't," he admitted.
"Good. I still want to take up your end of the deal Draco…I'll shag you…so bad you'll hurt." Lucas nastily licked the side of Draco's face, making him cringe. He suddenly changed into a tawny brown owl, circling the room once, and then exiting out of the window he entered.
Draco fell beside the couch Hermione was passed out on. He rested his head against her chest, realizing that she was evenly breathing. Draco exhaled and sat against the couch she was sprawled out on. He covered his hands with his eyes and allowed for tears to take over him. He cried into his palm, thinking, just for a split second, how life would be if he had Jon back. He turned and looked at Hermione, her long lashes at peace and resting gently. He couldn't think about trading her in for another life.
"Draco?" Hermione murmured. She stirred and sat up, peering into his face curiously at the tears. "What happened? Why was I out and…why are you crying?"
It was then that Draco wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her why he ran away, how he met the love of his life and the very man that would try to ruin it. He touched her cheek tenderly, his body jerking from tremors. Hermione's wide worried eyes seemed to swallow him whole. He dropped his head in her lap, crying into her legs. He quietly mumbled, "I was a fucking gay hustler, and fell in love with another…now I can't stop thinking about him!" Draco gripped her legs.
"What? Draco, I didn't hear you…please, please tell me what's wrong!" she cried, lifting his head from her lap. His silver eyes gleamed sadly, and his cheeks were pink.
"I'm a failure Hermione, I'm weak…I shouldn't be crying, I shouldn't be making love to you…I shouldn't be here…" He said. His whole body shook with self-loathing and guilt.
"Draco, you're not weak! You're not…stop it," she demanded. Immediately Draco's face cool, and like a child, he obeyed her willingly. "Draco, I need you to tell me what's going on with you…please, you can trust me!" Draco knew he couldn't tell her. He wouldn't dare tell her now, and hopefully never.
"I'm just confused…I don't know…I'm just confused…" he whispered again. Hermione hugged him, trying to put her soul into it. She needed him to trust her. "Can we just…can we just drop it?" He asked quietly. Hermione nodded. He stood from off the floor, and sat next to her. She was glancing down at his shirt.
"What happened here?" she asked, touching the stain Lucas had left on him. Draco grew nervous and pushed her hand away.
"Oh…just something fell on me, don't worry." Draco focused as much as he could to use wand-less magic. He cleaned his shirt with the spell, and wrapped his arms around Hermione.
"Would you like to come home with me, Draco? For the holidays?" Hermione asked quietly, as Draco held her close. He didn't know what to say, but he didn't want to go his home for the holidays.
"I would love to."
Dear Father,
The holidays are approaching, and I know you will want me home. However, I must decline. Dumbledore needs me here to work on some Seventh Year activities. The Head Boy and Girl are in charge, and I need to prove that I'm worthy so I can bring pride to the family. You said that I'm becoming a strong man; let me prove this to you by accomplishing my goals as a student here at Hogwarts. Tell mum I send my warmest of love.
Your son,
Draco