Chapter Ten

I stomped into my dressing room huffing. It was dark inside with only lights from the dressing table on but I didn't bother to turn on the ceiling light. I hated it when my co-actors mess up in rehearsals, especially one before opening night. But I hated it more when Troy was messing it because he is too distracted by kissing me. I should be flattered that he is that attracted to me. But I'm not. It only served to remind me that all he wants is getting me in the sack. He's probably getting frustrated by now that I refused to be intimate with him when we're alone. He's making the most out of it when I have to kiss him on stage, the bastard.

But damn it, I can't deny I did enjoy that kiss, and even more his proclamations of love. It sounded so real the way he said it. It was just the way I pictured it in my head when I wrote the script early this school year. Troy was even the one I imagined playing Benedick when I wrote it. But I mustn't think of it… it's just a play, and him saying those lines on stage is the closest thing I could ever hear him say "I love you" to me.

I headed to the couch with the intention of lying down for a few minutes to rest my aching head and relieve the stress. I was startled when I noticed a figure in the shadows move in front of me.

"Who's there?" I asked menacingly. The figured emerged into the light from the mirror. It was Ryan. He walked past me to turn on the ceiling light and we faced each other directly for the first time in more than a month.

"What do you want?!" I shouted.

He stared down at me coldly. A smile played on his lips as if he finally caught onto something that he could use against me.

"It's nice to know that you don't give Bolton an easy time," he said. "At least, not any easier than you did with me."

"What?" I asked in confusion.

He continued to sneer at me. "You don't really have an ickily-sweet disgustingly perfect relationship with him like you appear to be to the rest of the school, don't you?"

Damn it! He must have heard Troy and I arguing. He knows now that we're not exactly the perfect couple together. He probably suspects our relationship isn't real either.

"So what?" I shouted at him. "Look, Troy and I argue sometimes… when he makes mistakes with his lines—"

"You give him hell," he finished and this time his sneer disappeared to be replaced by a genuine smile. "And I'm glad you do. If you didn't, I'd really be disgusted to call you my sister."

I opened my mouth to retort but I couldn't find anything to say. I wasn't sure I understood what he said.

He came forward, knelt before me and tilted my chin upwards with his thumb and forefinger to close my mouth. I didn't even know it kept hanging open.

"Shar…" he whispered my name. I've never felt anything more comforting than the sound of my own nickname when Ryan said it without the sarcastic tone that he always used lately. I just stared at him and I knew that he missed me as much as I missed him. He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze.

"Tell me, why do you do it?" he asked. "Why do you go pretending you're all sweet with Bolton to the rest of the school? I know you. You're not like that, you have a reason."

I squeezed his hand back and I knew I could trust him. Besides, I hated keeping secrets from Ryan.

"I'm not really his girlfriend," I said slowly. "We had a deal. We pretended to be together so he can get back at Gabriella and he wouldn't lose face to the rest of the school. In return, I get a popularity boost and a good partner for the musicale. We're just going to pretend to go out until graduation."

He breathed a sigh that could have been relief but he still looked worried. "But you don't let him… well, I mean… when you're alone together… you don't really…"

I gasped in indignation. What did Ryan think of me? "Of course not! I'm not sleeping with him, if that's what you think! I don't even let him touch me when we're alone. The only intimate gesture I ever give him is the one we do in public and on stage."

Ryan's face lit up and this time he gave a truly relieved sigh. "I suspected as much and I'm glad. I love you, Shar." He hugged me and I hugged back. I couldn't believe how easy it was to make up to him. I knew we didn't have to apologize to each other anymore.

"So this is just a deal?" he asked when he finally let me go. "You don't really feel… I mean, I know you like him before, Shar. Don't get me wrong. I'm just concerned about you. I don't want to see you get hurt…"

"I don't. It's just a deal, Ryan," I assured him although I was lying. I liked Troy, in fact if I was totally honest with myself I was falling for him, even if I tried so hard not to.

Something in what I was thinking must have showed in my face for Ryan's shoulders drooped and he gave me a look of concern.

"Shar…" he murmured sadly. Blasted twin intuition! He knows. I couldn't lie anymore so I returned his dejected expression and let him draw my head to his chest. I felt myself collapse in this simple gesture. It was only with him that I could do that. Suddenly the tears that I've been keeping for so long came down my cheeks. I let him pat me and stroke my hair with his fingers.

"He doesn't like me back, Ryan," I cried. "You're right. I know that. I know what he wants. But I won't let him."

"Then why do you keep on with this charade?" he asked. "Why Shar? When you know there's no hope."

"But I can't quit now, not when it's already working," I sobbed. "I've got almost all of them convinced. If I let it go, then they'd I'd look like the loser. I've got too much to lose."

"But you're not exactly convincing Troy Bolton. Sharpay, you're digging a deeper hole as long as you keep like this. Better quit while you're ahead."

I pulled away from his embrace, wiped at the tears and stared at him. "I can't, and I won't," I told him. "Not now."

Ryan bit his lower lip and gave me the same disappointed look when we first argued. But there was no anger in his face, just concern. "Look, I understand the situation. You have the play and everyone's opinion to worry about. I'm not going to ask you to stop now, but I'm begging you, don't entertain a hope that this is real. If you do, then you're setting yourself for heartbreak."

"I won't," I smiled at him. "You know me." I put on my ferocious pout.

"Yeah, I know you too well, Sharpay Evans." He tweaked my nose like he used to do when we were little kids to annoy me. "Just be careful and if you need me, I'll be here for you."

I retaliated by tweaking his nose the same way, but I got a message across: that I appreciated him being supportive of me.

"Come on, let's go home," offered Ryan.

"Troy's waiting for me," I said.

"Leave him," said Ryan. "He won't die if you don't get into his car for one afternoon."

"I'll send him a message then," I said as I reached for my phone. Ryan, however, wrenched my cell phone away from my hand.

"No," he said firmly. "You don't have to report to him every single time. Get that in your head, Sharpay."

I should have felt indignant at this, but I realized my brother was right. I wasn't Troy's real girlfriend, so why should I be the one worrying about him missing me? I have no obligation to if I stuck by the rules we set on the deal.

Ryan set my phone to silent mode and I didn't protest. I felt empowered already. He helped me grab my stuff and we walked together out the theatre to where he parked our car. He tossed me the keys and I smiled at him. It was like he knew by instinct that I missed driving our Saturn.

We talked of college applications and other far off things on the drive home. I realized how much I missed talking to Ryan. We always had the same interests and more often were on the same wave lengths.

When we pulled into our driveway, I felt my phone buzz, indicating a message just came in. But I didn't check it. I brought my bag with my phone up to my room and left it there while we had dinner. Following dinner, Ryan asked to watch an old musicale with me. He said it might help me relax for tomorrow and I agreed.

It was nine in the evening when Ryan and I got up to our rooms. That's when I noticed my phone blinking, indicating a call. I resisted the urge to answer it until it finally stopped blinking. But five seconds later, the landline rang. I saw from the caller ID that it was Troy. Ryan's head popped into my doorway and I knew he also saw the number from his extension.

"I'll talk to him," he said. "But pick it up the same time as I do so you can listen in."

"What are you going to say?" I asked, worriedly.

"I'll just brush him off," he said. "Now go, on three: one, two, three."

We picked up our respective phones at the same time but only Ryan said "Hello."

"Is Sharpay there?" I heard Troy asked. He sounded really worried.

"Yeah, we went home together," Ryan replied. He looked at me desperately as he searched for an excuse for me not to talk to Troy. I made a gesture with my hands that I was sleeping. "She's asleep now," Ryan said.

"Oh," Troy replied then he was silent. I wondered what he was thinking. Perhaps he's feeling uncomfortable talking to Ryan.

"Aren't you going to leave a message for her?" asked Ryan.

"Er… could you tell her, I'd like to talk to her as soon as she wakes up."

"Tomorrow," I mouthed silently to Ryan. But he had a sudden smirk on his lips.

"Can I ask you something?" Ryan said to Troy.

My eyes widened with surprise. I didn't quite catch what Troy said back. I mouthed indignantly: "What are you doing?"

"Trust me," he mouthed back with an evil grin. Then he added loudly to Troy: "Do you care about Sharpay?"

How dare he! I wanted to kill Ryan right now but I was distracted by Troy's answer.

"Well, yeah, she's my girlfriend…"

Hah! Typical Troy, a safe vague answer.

Ryan, however, bristled at him. "Cut the girlfriend crap, Troy. I know about the deal, she told me tonight. Don't worry, I'm not telling anyone. But I just want to know, honestly." He stopped for a moment to look at me, then: "Do you care for her?"

My heart hammered in my chest. He was going to say no, I just knew it. He'll say it was just a deal and nothing more.

"I do. I value her friendship and I would never deliberately hurt her."

I couldn't believe it. So he does care, even if it is just in a friendly way. It wasn't really what I'd hope for but at least it was better than nothing. I barely heard what my brother said to Troy, I was too elated. When he finally put the phone down, the same time I did, he gave me one of his enigmatic smiles.

"Well… he cares about you—"

He didn't get to finish his sentence for I rushed towards his room and flung myself at him sending us both collapsing on his bed. I half-wrestled him on the bed and peppered his face with kisses.

"Sharpay, get off me!"

I gave him two final big wet kisses on each cheek before I finally got up from his chest. He emerged wiping his face with his hands, looking disgusted.

"Yuck! That's really gross, Shar, especially since I know where your lips have been. Now I have essence of Basketball Boy all over me." He gave a sickened shiver.

"Oh shut up, Ryan!" I replied as I threw a pillow into his face. He threw it back to me, stuck his tongue out and headed to the bathroom where he splashed water on his face and rubbed in soap extra hard. I knew he was just doing it to annoy me but I didn't take offense. Besides I was just so happy and so full of love for him at the moment.

He emerged patting his face with a towel. He sat down next to me at the edge of the bed.

"As I was saying, Troy does care for you Shar. I'm inclined to believe he wasn't lying, but don't get your hopes too high up. He likes you as a friend, not as a girlfriend."

"Thank you very much for bursting my bubble," I bit back. I knew Troy meant that as only friends, but Ryan didn't have to spell it out.

"Shar, I just want you to be realistic. I know this is a hint of hope and perhaps Troy could come to like you as more than a friend. But there's also a possibility that he won't. Don't be mad at me. I just want you to be careful."

I knew he was right and there was no use arguing again over that. If it was anyone else but Ryan I would have made another outburst that could probably set us fighting again. But given the circumstances, I decided to shut my mouth and agree with him.

"Don't worry, I'll be careful."

"Good, now you should get some sleep. You have opening night tomorrow."

He kissed my forehead and I winced dramatically. "Ewww… now I have essence of Composer on me."

"Awww, come on Shar. I know you like Kelsi, admit it."

"She's not so bad," I replied. "But I don't want to be kissed by lips that touched hers." It was my turn to wash my face. Ryan just laughed. I knew everything was alright between us. We said our goodnights and I headed back to my room and closed my door. It was still early but I sat in bed a long time thinking of Troy. I had a sudden inspiration in my head and I grabbed a pen and my writing notebook and began scribbling lines. I worked on it for a long time, crossing out a few words, replacing them, running through then over and over until I was satisfied with the two stanzas and a refrain. I tried to hum a tune for it but I wasn't much of a music writer. I supposed I have to give this to Kelsi to work on. It could be the start of another musicale.

When I finally looked up at my clock, it read 11:05. I was still wide-awake and I could think of nothing to do but long to see Troy. I grabbed my cell phone and found Troy's earlier message.

"Went 2 theatre, didn't find u. Wil go ahead. Txt me if u nid a ride home. Wil come back for u."

My heart melted. That was sweet of him to offer to come back for me. I was tempted to call him right now, but I thought maybe he was already asleep. I didn't want to bother him. I decided to just rehearse my lines to distract myself from thinking of him until I grew tired. But when I rummaged through my bag, I couldn't find my libretto and music sheets. I must have left them with Troy.

I paced around, wondering what to do. I was still full of energy I had to dispel it somewhere. I finally decided on taking a walk. I grabbed my phone and house keys and crept down stairs. Ryan and my parents were all asleep by now and I didn't want to bother them. I left the house like a burglar and wandered around the neighborhood. It was quite safe to walk around alone but it was rather cold. I wished I put on some warmer clothes instead of just a tank top and shorts, but I didn't want to bother going back.

I imagined the songs of our musicale in my head and I began singing to myself, imagining Troy there with me. Eventually, I found myself dancing on the empty sidewalk like an idiot. It didn't really matter though, as everything was completely deserted. I was so caught up in doing that, that it took a while for me to realized I was heading in the direction of Troy's house. By then I was already too far from my own home. I shrugged the sensible voice in my head to turn back and let my feet go forward to his house.

My eyes immediately went to his window when I arrived at his backyard. His light was still on. That meant he was still awake. I pondered for several minutes. What exactly was I doing here? Did I really mean to come up and talk to him at this late hour?

Against the voice of reason in my head, that sounded a lot like Ryan, I pulled out my phone and composed a message: "Open ur window."

I really didn't mean to send it to him. As soon as my thumb pressed on the last "W" I hesitated and thought how ridiculous this was. Unfortunately, my thumb is faster than my powers of deliberation. I accidentally pressed "send" by instinct.

I silently screamed "No!" as I watched the icon "message sent" appear on my phone screen.

Seconds later I saw Troy appear by his window with a look of shock on his face. There was no turning back now. He quickly pulled up the window shutter and stuck his head out.

"Hi!" I said to him with an uneasy smile.

"What are you doing here?"

Good question. I don't have an answer. I needed to stall, and I needed him to keep quiet. I put a finger to my lips.

"I don't want to wake up your parents…" I stopped. I just wanted so much to be near him and suddenly I blurted out without thinking: "I'm coming up."

"My dad's still awake checking papers," Troy answered softly. "Give me a minute to come down."

I panicked. I don't want Coach Bolton seeing me here at this time of night. That will be awkward.

"Don't!" I whispered frantically. "I don't want to bother them. I'm coming through your window."

He gave me a puzzled look that could have matched my own internal confusion. I looked around and noticed his window was a good fifteen feet above the ground. But then I saw a tree with one of its branches extending towards Troy's window. I suddenly had the craziest idea in my life.

A/N: Sorry I have to keep you in suspense a little longer. I just thought Sharpay's point of view deserves to be brought out and Ryan needs a longer appearance. I promise the next chapter will be worth the wait. I'll update as soon as I finish editing. It's already written.