I like how this is coming along. But, I'm still debating about starting another story. I start school again next week so posts might be few and far between. Keep those reviews coming!
*Disclaimer: It's my mind, Masashi Kishimoto's characters.*
"Concentrate."
Sakura was watching one of her interns carefully. And so was his patient. The medic-to-be's hands were shaking like crazy. Every time he'd put the suturing needle close to the wound he'd take it away just as fast dude to the violent tremor raging up his arm.
"Just breathe."
He listened to his master, in and out. A full minute passed and he tried again. He was almost there when a quake through his entire body caused him to drop the needle, tissue clamp, and the nylon thread onto the sterile metal tray with a clang. He took a step away from the patient who seemed just as relieved as the medic in training. Sakura stepped forward. She had seen enough.
"Am I making you nervous?"
The intern nodded sheepishly, "I still don't know why you want me to stitch him up, I could heal him and he'd have no down time."
She sighed as she placed her hand over the patients deep cut. She touched it for a few seconds, coating the wound in vibrant green, before pulling away and giving him a smile.
"Sorry for the wait. You can go now. Give your file to the nurse at the desk."
The man hopped off the table giving Sakura a grateful smile. She turned to her intern. "I wanted you to do it without chakra because eventually you won't have any."
The medic looked confused.
"You've never been on the battlefield, and I hope that you'll never have to, but you can't rely on your Jutsu. You have to learn how to treat wounds without the use of your chakra."
She turned her green eyes on Kankurou who was looking idly out the window. Sakura knew that he was listening though.
"Kankurou, do you mind?"
With a shake of his cowl coated head he walked over to her side and lifted up the hem of his shirt to show the intern a long thin scar running diagonally down his left side. Kankurou had told Sakura the story of the scar while eating lunch one day.
"The medic he was grouped with was depleted of chakra. If she didn't know how to do even the basic medical procedure he would have bled to death. I don't know about you but I'd rather have a scar than be dead."
The intern just stared at her awestruck. Sakura just waved her hands at the unused equipment.
"Get this exam room ready for your next patient. No chakra use today, for any of the interns. I'm not picking on just you. And next time don't be so nervous. I was in the same position as you with a much stricter Master."
With that Kankurou followed her out the door and up to her office. Sakura sighed as she fell into her cushiony chair. "They think that they'll always be able to use the Shousen no Jutsu. They've never seen what happens when you can't. I've seen it firsthand. I've felt it. I've watched comrades die in front of my eyes… and in my arms. It's made me the person I am today. I wish that they'd never have to see that or go through that but sometimes… You will never know the extent of your abilities until you've pressed yourself to the limit."
Kankurou knew that she wasn't just talking about anyone. She was talking about Elder Chiyo. Sakura had said "died in her arms". He knew that one person had ever died in Sakura's arms. He also knew how hard she took the older medic's death. He wanted to ask her about it her first day at the hospital. Recalling how she froze at the mention of her fight with Sasori, how could he have forgotten to ask her about it? Now he felt like a jackass for not seeing it sooner. Sakura was carrying a heavy burden that he didn't want her to bear alone.
"Sakura-"
He was abruptly cut off from confronting her by a bold knock at the door.
"Come in."
They both were surprised to see a ninja at the door.
"Sakura-sama," he bowed to her and then turned to bow to Kankurou, "Kankurou-sama. I've come on the Kazekage's behalf. He wishes to see you in his office immediately. I've been asked to escort Sakura-sama home."
A million things ran through Sakura's head. Something's happened that they don't want her to hear. Something bad that they didn't want to tell her right away. Kakashi finally didn't make it back in time. Naruto's recklessness finally caught up to him. Somebody finally knocked Sai's lights out for good because of his inability to keep his uncensored mouth shut. All of these dark thoughts poured into her already black mind. She was thinking of Elder Chiyo and now this-
"Sakura, everything's fine. Gaara would have came himself if something happened."
She looked up into his soft brown eyes and everything she had just been thinking, dreading disappeared. Had he become so close to her in these three weeks that he could read her so well? Sakura nodded standing up. She was glad he could. She walked around her desk and to the ninja's side. With all her dark thoughts, going home seemed like a good idea. But going somewhere else tempted her more.
She had ditched the temporary escort easily enough. She hid her chakra completely and slipped down a side street when he wasn't looking. That was about two hours ago. The poor guy was probably getting an earful from Gaara and Kankurou right about now. She felt bad about it but she needed some time alone. She had put this off for far too long. Even now she stood in front of her memorial without saying a word. She told herself that she had made peace with her death years ago. She also told herself that she didn't love the Uchiha years ago. She broke herself of one lie and one love. Now she had to ride herself of another lie. She hadn't made peace. She used the life Chiyo-baasan forfeited as her motivation to better herself, to make herself stronger, so when the time came she didn't have to sit there helplessly and watch as another person she cared for gave away their life.
"Elder Chiyo. I'm sorry."
Guilt clutched at her heart and she fell to her knees. She had disrespected her memory and her last wishes. She busied herself with work when she got back and all but cut off everyone in her life. Then she tried to live life by what the old woman asked of her. And she failed yet again. She destroyed the person most precious to her because of what? Because she was afraid of being rejected?
"I promised you. I promised you and I broke it. I'm so sorry. So, so, sorry."
Her hands trembled a she ran her fingers along the name written in Kanji. She would not fail her again. She had done it too many times.
"I will not break it again. I swear. Never again."
In the mist of her grief she hadn't noticed it. Now she felt a familiar chakra presence. His presence. He was at least fifty yards away and he wasn't coming closer. It was so low that she almost didn't notice it. She cursed herself for forgetting to mask her chakra. When she broke down she couldn't hold onto her control anymore. He chakra must have been stronger than usual from her emotional state because she was on the out skirts of town. For Kankurou to feel it he must have been concentrating really hard. She dried her eyes as she mentally kicked herself. No one could find her for hours and the first sign he had of her was radiating guilt and pain. And to top that off he had been watching her sob uncontrollably for who knows how long. She pulled herself together and made her way toward home. She felt him skirting alongside her most of the way. Maybe he didn't know that he was leaking out just a small amount of chakra or maybe he was just letting her know that he was there. Part of her felt comforted knowing that he was there, making sure she was okay, but the other part of her knew that he'd want to talk about what happened. She didn't know if she was read to tell him. She opened the door to the townhouse and stepped inside to find Kankurou on the couch watching TV. She sat in the free corner.
"What're you watching?"
She kept her face towards the TV knowing full well that her red eyes would give her away if her hadn't already seen her cry.
"Nothing good."
She chanced a peak at him out the corner of his eye. His was clenching his jaw. He had seen her. He had probably been there the second she let her control slip. He had seen it all and he was debating whether or not to ask.
Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask.
Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask.
But Kankurou desperately wanted to ask her about this afternoon. After nearly tearing the head off of the ninja who lost her in the first three seconds of walking her home he calmed down enough to tell Gaara not to bother searching for her. If Sakura didn't want to be found, she wouldn't be found but he knew where she'd probably go. If what she was talking about earlier had anything to dictate her direction he knew exactly where'd she be. When he saw her standing at the grave he wanted to go to her but her completely concealed chakra stopped him. She was hiding and she didn't want to be found. So he stayed back and gave her her space. Then, as he hid in the shadows watching over her, he felt her chakra explode. It was so guilt ridden and suffocatingly painful that he fought the urge to rush to her side. It was a torrent of sadness and he could only stand there and watch as her tears stained the hard packed rusty ground.
He wanted to go to her but she hadn't noticed that she let her control slip. She wanted to be alone. If he was there then she couldn't get the closure she really needed. So he stayed in the shadows and listened to everything she said. He didn't know what to do to comfort her. But this was the first time he had ever wanted to make someone else's sadness go away. This was the first time that he had ever wanted to comfort someone so badly. But he knew Sakura so he waited and watched over her until she was done and then he followed her home letting just enough chakra out for her to feel his presence. Because that was all he could do for her until she let him in.
"When you're ready I'm here."
For the first time since she sat down she looked at him and he saw the redness of her eyes. He thought that her viridian eyes looked even more beautiful even is they were surrounded by tear stained lashes. She nodded, not turning back to the TV.
"What did Gaara want?"
He didn't want her to ask, but he'd have to tell her eventually.
"I'm leaving on a mission. One of our ambassadors has gotten into some trouble. He got himself stuck in negotiations between one of the more hostile countries we do business with. I have to go smooth things over and get him out of boiling water. I've dealt with them before and I'm the only one aggressive enough not to take any of their shit. I'll be gone for a week," he took a chance to peak at her again, she was worrying her lip, "You'll have a temporary escort until I get back."
She nodded, "When do you leave?"
"Tomorrow at first light."
She sighed and stood up. "I'll make you donburi for dinner."
Before he could even suggest they get take out she was already in the kitchen and he could hear pots clanking about. He really wanted to ask her about why she tiptoed around Elder Chiyo even at the mention of her name but he wouldn't push her. One think he knew about Sakura was that you couldn't force her to do something she didn't want to do. Even through dinner they were quiet. She asked about his mission and he explained and he asked about what she'd do while he was gone.
"I'm throwing a big party at the hospital. Free from the overbearing bodyguard at last."
She gave him a smile and he felt a bit more at ease seeing her getting back to normal. He was helping her put the dishes in the sink when she pushed him out of the way.
"Go to sleep. You'll be traveling all day tomorrow."
He took his time to read her eyes and face. She didn't want to be alone anymore she just wanted to help him out. She was always like that. Always wanting to help out her friends. So he sighed and said goodnight. He didn't want to leave her but he had too. Orders were orders.
BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP!
Sakura shot up in bed. Bed. Why the hell was she in bed? After she cleaned up in the kitchen she watched TV in the living room because she wasn't tired. Maybe Gaara had seen her asleep and brought her up here. But her alarm clock was set. She never had to use it because Kankurou always woke her up. Gaara didn't know that.
"Kankurou," she smiled at the blaring beast before switching it off. As she clicked the switch another switch clicked in her mind. It was set for 6:55. He always told her she should sleep more. She growled as she threw her blankets off of her, "Kankurou!"
She frantically got dressed and rushed down the stairs. A shower was out of the question. She forgot that he had told her that her escort would meet her here and walk her to the hospital. Because, of course, she was still under Suna's protection even if Kankurou wasn't the one to do it. She was buttoning her shirt in place when a knock pounded on the door downstairs. She threw open the door and froze.
"Good morning Sakura-chan."
"Yorikuzu."
The handsome man tilted his head the side as he smiled. "You don't look happy to see me."
Sakura stepped out of the door and clenched her fists. "I wonder why?"
"Now, I've pulled a lot of strings to get this job so I can apologize. I was drinking and the alcohol must have gotten to my head."
Sakura ground her teeth together as they walked. She had asked Reina about this scum bag. Yeah, it must have gotten to his head. They walked in silence to the hospital and when they entered it was as busy as ever. A nurse hurriedly grabbed patients files off the desk catching a few on the out tray. She cursed for spilling the papers all over the floor. Sakura bent down to help her pick them up just as Yorikuzu helped himself to Sakura's backside.
"APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED!!!"
Before Yorikuzu could spew some lame ass apology he was thrown through the hospital waiting room wall and halfway into the wall across the street. Sakura walked straight to the elevator and to her office breaking a few gurney rails along the way.
"Sakura I'll be Kankurou's replacement for the rest of the day."
She smiled over the file she was scribbling in at Matsuri. "You sure Gaara can spare you?"
She laughed as she sat in Kankurou's usual spot, "I'm sure. Besides I don't think he'd like it if I go around grabbing your ass."
Sakura cringed, news got around fast in this hospital. It's gossips were worse than Konoha's.
"Why don't I get us some breakfast?"
She cringed again. Kankurou got around fast too.
Scrubbing the first few layers of your skin away was always a boring task. So Sakura let her mind wander. Kankurou had been gone for four days now. She missed him at night when she was home by herself. Gaara worked late and she never really noticed because she was always with Kankurou. Now she knew why he was always going on missions. The house was void of life. She scrubbed under her nails again for the fourth time. If she wasn't so busy with her patients she would find the hospital boring too. Lunch wasn't the same especially with her new escort. He was a quiet boy, just promoted to Jounin. The first day he had followed her so closely that he actually stepped on her heels. She had to hold him at arm's length and tell him that this was her personal space and if he'd like to keep his feet he had better give it to her.
She smirked at the rough soap she used. Kankurou would have laughed his ass off. Her smile tapered off though. Kankurou had never followed her into the bathroom. Sakura chalked it off as her new escort not paying attention, but she couldn't tell. He barely spoke to her. A nurse helped her into long gloves and tied a mask around her face. She stepped through the glass doors into the clean OR. She was assisting on a cardiac surgery today. Using her healing abilities she could reduce the dead muscle in and around the heart. The cardiac surgeon gave her a curt nod before turning around to make the first incision. They had just cracked open the patient's chest when Sakura held out her hand for a scalpel. When she saw a tan flak jacket reach out to hand it to her she saw red. Her escort had handed her the scalpel with his bare unsterilized hands.
"STOP THE PROCEDURE!"
She turned on the young man and dragged him out of the room as she heard the nurses banged equipment together to be sterilized again because the operating room was now contaminated. Sakura was taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself enough not to do bodily harm to him.
"What were you thinking!?"
"I'm your bodyguard. I follow you everywhere."
"NOT INTO THE OR! What are you supposed to protect me from? The smell of iodine!?"
The ninja paled as she ripped the mask of her face. She tore the gloves off and chucked them into a biohazardous waste basket on the wall. "What where you doing!?"
He gulped before answering watching as her fist clenched and unclenched. "I overheard the nurses talking, they said that Kankurou helps you sometimes."
Patience flew out the window and Sakura tried not to rip her own hair out. "He helped me hold legs in place and to carry files. HE NEVER HELPED ME PERFORM A LIFE THREATENING SURGERY!"
Gaara found Sakura standing before him clutching the escort he appoint in one hand. She placed him on the floor gently, much more gently that she looked capable of doing right now.
"Do you know how long it takes to completely sterilize an OR? Do you know that we have to crack open a person's ribs to get to their heart? Do you know that we have to do everything all over again because my escort thought it was okay for him to follow me into the OR and then assist me in the surgery?"
Gaara just let her yell at him. He wouldn't stand for it coming from anyone else but this was Sakura and from what he could hear she was entitled to yell at him.
"Next time no one wet behind the ears!"
After completing the surgery six hours after it's scheduled time Sakura exited the OR to find Matsuri once gain waiting for her, this time a bag of take out in one hand.
"I can honestly say that Gaara had never terrified anyone like you did to that escort."
Sakura grumbled into the elevator, "he was lucky I didn't throw him through a wall."
Matsuri pushed down the five button. "Gaara had no idea that Yorikuzu switched with places with one of his buddies. But as soon as he out of the hospital he's being shipped to Tea country to guard the Modoroki Shrine during the race."
"As long as Kankurou doesn't find out."
Matsuri followed her quietly to her office to eat lunch with her. Kankurou had explicitly stated that Sakura's new escort should make sure she ate lunch. He was also adamant that she'd leave the hospital no later than seven. Matsuri was taken aback by his vigilance. She did feel that Kankurou should know about this incident. She was his charge after all even if he wasn't here. And besides even if he didn't notice it, he cared for Sakura much more than Matsuri had seen Kankurou care for anyone except for his siblings. He made sure she ate and slept, that was part of his job, but he made sure she laughed and smiled, that was something they didn't put in the bodyguard description at the academy.
"So you're my new escort? I think Gaara finally got it right this time."
Sakura beamed at Isami. This girl she could get along with. Once she regained consciousness she was a lively and energetic. She reminded Sakura of a younger version of her mother.
"Gaara asked for me and when he said it was you I'd be escorting I jumped at the chance. It's all I could do to thank you."
Sakura raised her hand to cut in but Isami waved her off.
"You deserve it. You saved me and Ichibu. I'll be forever grateful to you Sakura."
She nodded her head and lifted her files off the desk to return to work. That was two days ago. Now she and Isami were in the clinic with the interns.
"I don't know how this happened. Honestly, the safety switch must be faulty."
Sakura smiled over her intern's shoulder as the medic to be disinfected the wound. A four inch nail was nested in the young carpenters hand, through and through. This was the third time in a week that he had come into the clinic for something building related. He was working on fixing the buildings damned by the storm. This first time it was an accident with a busted tube of industrial strength wood glue and a hammer, the second was a broken foot from dropped two by fours, and now a nail to the hand.
Sakura laughed, "Really Araki, if you like her so much why don't you just ask her out?"
The man on the table blushed a deep rusty red as he rubbed his neck with his uninjured hand. Sakura smiled at him as she watched her intern pull out the nail. Blood gushed around it in quick spurts. Sakura watched as her student healed the broken veins and bones. She heard Isami fall forward. She quickly wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her steady.
"I'm sorry Sakura. I just got light headed all of sudden."
Sakura was confused for a moment before she felt it. Green chakra glowed over Isami stomach as she confirmed it.
"How far along are you?"
"When's the last time I was in the hospital?" She smirked wryly at Sakura as she helped her stand on her own two feet. Sakura gave her small smile and beckoned her intern to finish fixing Araki.
"You're dehydrated. I'm admitting you to the hospital. You'll have full obstetric exam. Where's Ichibu?"
"He's in Waterfall Country."
Sakura nodded as she helped her out into the hall. "I'll ask Gaara to call him back. You have to tell him, he's got to take care of you now."
Isami huffed as Sakura helped her into the elevator, "I don't need him to take care of me."
"I know you don't," she gave her a lopsided smile. "but you have to let him do something so he feels useful."
Isami laughed all the way to the maternity ward where Sakura sighed her in and asked the head of the maternity ward to give her the exam. She wanted to make sure Isami was okay. It was her job after all.
Sakura cursed under her breath. Her new escort was supposed to meet her at home and walk with her here. She was delighted that one never showed up. Nobody was there to follow her around or goad her to eat something or rest. But right now she could use some help. This morning alone she had to carry at least fifty different files to her office and not to mention handle the sexual harassment complaint from one of the nurses. She had it set in her mind to give Yorikuzu a swift right hook only to be disappointed to find that someone already beat her to the punch, literally. She figured one of the nurses finally got tired of his roaming hands. They were all happy he was leaving today, now it would have to be pushed back to tomorrow. He had a concussion. She sent a male nurse to keep an eye on him. Sakura didn't want him to slip into a coma, no matter how better the world would be without him awake in it.
Now she was rooting around her shelf of scrolls without any luck of finding the one that held all of her research on ACE inhibitors. She needed it to make a herbal concoction for the open heart patient to help insure that his heart stay the way they had fixed it. She cursed under her breath again as she finally found it. She stared up at the highest shelf. The scroll was nearly two feet above her reach. She pulled herself onto the shelf itself and climbed it like a ladder. Just as her hand grasped the cream colored parchment her footing slipped. She closed her eyes waiting to hit the floor but it never came.
"I'm gone for one week and you've put one escort in the hospital, another in the mental ward, and you frightened the head psychologist so much that he's taking vacation leave until you're finished here."
It was damn good to hear his voice, even as laughter filled as it was. And as far as she was concerned they deserved what they got. Maybe not the purple haired, golden eyed psychologist though. He was trying to teach her interns that knowing how to read your patients emotions as well as pain was helpful. He didn't have to try to peak into Sakura's mind. She didn't like her privacy to be invaded so she pushed one of her most dark and painful memories to the front of her mind. The time Itachi had caught her in his Tsukuyomi. He broke away a second later shaking uncontrollably. Sakura had asked him if he saw something he didn't like and then he passed out. The vacation explained why she hadn't seen him in three days.
"And then you almost crack your skull open. I swear your more trouble than your worth."
Sakura opened her eyes to purple paint pulled into a smile and warm honey-brown eyes. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly still held in his arms.
"I thought you'd never get back."
She felt him set her down to return the gesture. "And I thought that I could leave you alone for a week. This just proves that I'll have to stick with you."
Those words made Sakura more happier than they should have. She hugged Kankurou again and enjoyed how his laugh rumbled through her body as he hugged her back. And like always there was a knock at the door and Reina entered. Embarrassment flushed across her face and Kankurou leaned back and away from Sakura to smile at her.
"Reina-chan I don't think you'll have to give me that sponge bath now."
He waggled his eyebrows which got him a harsh smack on the head via the scroll Sakura had in her hand. She walked over to Reina and handed the scroll to her. "Thank you for coming up and getting it. Tell him that he has to take it three times a day and to put it in his tea."
Reina nodded her head and smiled at Kankurou, "It's nice to see you back. Maybe now there won't be ninja shaped holes in my clinic."
Sakura rolled her eyes as she watched Kankurou wave goodbye to his "favorite" nurse. She noticed he wasn't giving her his usual short two finger wave. He seemed to be holding his hand delicately. She found the problem. It looked like he had a broken knuckle, it was swollen and discoloration peeked out of the fingerless glove. She scowled at him, "Did things get out of hand on your mission?"
He looked down at his hand and held it out to her, "I had to knock a little sense into someone. He had his hands all over everything. I didn't like it."
Sakura wanted to tell him that a puppeteer's hands where their weapons but he had just gotten back so she just shrugged her shoulders and set about fixing his hand with warming cool chakra.