Hello guys!

Just wanted to give you all an update before I head out. Thank you for your continued support on this fic!

Here's part 10, and well, it twists a little bit - Olivia is supposed to be cautious but sometimes, she needs the only person that will ever understand her.

WARNING; MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERING CONTENT. READ AT OWN RISK.

Please, enjoy xoxo

Back To You

Part 10

The metal of the cuffs was cold against her scrawny wrists. She tried to pull herself away but it was no use. The metal was digging into her skin, causing her skin to turn red and break slightly. She was trying to scream. Her breathing was uneven, she was shaking uncontrollably, and tears were falling fast down her face as it dawned on her what was about to happen.

She tried to scream again, but no sound could come out. He was standing over her, unzipping his trousers as he muttered;

"Bite me and you're dead."

He grabbed hold of her hair, she kept trying to struggle against him but it was no use. He was stronger than her, faster than her. She was tired from fighting, from being in here. Her fear had consumed her. She just knew that this was it. He was going to rape her, then he was going to kill her to keep her from talking. She would never see her squad – her friends – ever again.

She was never going to see her best friend, her Elliot ever again.

She struggled as he forced her mouth open. Nobody was coming to help her, nobody was coming to save her.

And suddenly, she found herself in the old beach house. She was tied to a bed. She looked around, panic setting in as she remembered – this was the house where William Lewis had taken her. She blinked and there he was at the side of the bed, staring at her with a sinister smirk. She blinked again and standing at the other side of the bed was Lowell Harris, looking at her with an equally sinister smirk as he stared at her.

"It's someone else that you'd give anything to see one last time."

"Bite me and you're dead, filthy whore."

Both men were unzipping their pants, and she knew what was going to happen next – and nobody was coming to save her.

She screamed, and suddenly she was falling.

Her blood curdling scream echoed around her bedroom as she sat up right in bed. Her breathing was heavy, her body was in a full sweat and shaking with sobs as she started to cry. She hadn't had nightmares regarding William Lewis and Lowell Harris in a long time. The nightmares were bad enough when they were separate, but the fact that both men were together in the same nightmare was enough to shake her to the core.

A knock at her bedroom door startled her, causing her to jump. She heard a small voice from the other side; "Mommy, are you okay?!" The doorknob was jiggling, but she didn't want Noah to see her like this.

"Noah," she gasped before managing to speak, "Noah, Mommy's fine; go back to bed and I'll be there in a minute."

She waited a few moments, listening to the sound of his small footsteps wandering away from her door. She jumped out of bed and rushed into her en suite bathroom, an overwhelming feeling of nausea taking over straight away. She threw her head over the toilet bowl and began vomiting quite violently, though this was painful as she hadn't eaten too much today besides the pizza she had, had with Noah for dinner. Her fingers dug into the sides of the cold porcelain as she continued to empty the contents of her stomach, tears dripping down her cheeks as she did so whilst memories of the horrible nightmare continued to dance through her head.

After a few more moments of being crouched on the floor, Olivia finally felt strong enough to flush the toilet and stand up. She held onto the sink to steady herself, before wiping her mouth and brushing her teeth. Her face was slowly returning to its normal color, she managed to get her breathing under control and stop the tears for a bit. She had to sort Noah out first, then she could sort herself out.

She made her way out of her own room and into Noah's room, finding the little boy sitting up in bed against the covers whilst clutching his elephant toy. She knelt down to him, giving him a small smile whilst encouraging him to lay down.

"Mommy, are you okay? Are you hurt?" he quietly asked.

"No baby, Mommy just had a bad dream, that's all," she kissed his forehead before tucking the covers around him, "Don't worry about me, sweet boy; you go back to sleep."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Noah's little voice was filled with concern, and that alone caused tears to pool in Olivia's eyes. She shuffled onto the bed and pulled him into a tight cuddle, kissing the top of his head a couple times before simply holding him.

"I am fine, I promise," she gave him a tight squeeze before helping him to lay back down again, "Rest sweetheart; I love you and I'll see you in a few hours."

Noah nodded his head, curling up under his blankets and clutching his elephant toy again. He was sleeping again within a few minutes, leading Olivia to kiss his forehead again before retreating back to her bedroom again. She closed the door and sat down on the bed, running her fingers through her hair before switching the bedside lamp on. She caught a glimpse of the alarm clock; the illuminated red numbers read 3:36am.

Her brow furrowed as she tried to think of the last time she had a nightmare this bad. It had been quite a long time, and her skin was crawling at the pure thought of the nightmare. 'William Lewis is dead, Olivia; you saw his body in the morgue!' she kept telling herself, recalling the time after everything was over with Lewis that she made the unusual request to see his body. It was part of the healing process, she told herself, and though she still had nightmares of him, they were few and far between. They were nothing like what she had dreamed of tonight, and that frightened her.

Lowell Harris was a different story. He was not dead; he was out roaming the city, knowing where she worked obviously, but knowing about her son as well – something that troubled her. His vendetta against her was frightening, and the fact that he had used the Stabler girls to get to her was unnerving as well. She wondered how he knew about Noah, hell she even wondered if he knew where she lived. She was grateful there were a couple protective details on her black, but she knew she would not rest properly until he was back behind bars for what he had done. She hated the sound of his voice that was still echoing in her head, the evil in his voice being enough to make her skin crawl. She knew that his voice today and telling the others what happened to her probably triggered her nightmare, but the fact that both Harris and Lewis had been in the same dream and she was helpless; that frightened her. She really did hope she wasn't slipping back into how she was before, because it had taken her a very long time to recover from the PTSD that followed after Harris assaulted her, and especially after the severe PTSD that had followed after the whole situation with William Lewis.

She sighed to herself, glancing at the empty space in the bed beside were times like this that she wished she had someone special laying next to her, holding her and telling her that everything would be okay and that she would be fine. Instead, she was in this queen-sized bed alone, leaning back against the pillows with her knees up to her chest as she tried to steady her breathing. She vaguely remembered the times she had comfort during nightmares from past lovers. Kurt Moss didn't know how to handle her nightmares that followed her attack those years ago. She never really had nightmares with David Haden, though she wasn't with him long enough for him to see any other side of her other than the first time they met and she was still reeling from Elliot's departure. Brian Cassidy barely handled her nightmares following Lewis's attack, and though he stuck with her through thick and thin, he had never been good with handling victims. She had, had a few nightmares while dating Ed Tucker, and he had been able to handle them – but he had also tried to push her into talking about them, which was something she didn't like to do.

She groaned as she tilted her head against the headboard. She had to face facts and realize that there was only one person that would forever know how to handle her nightmares. Hell, that knew how to handle her.

'You're the longest relationship that I've ever had with a man - who else would put up with me?'

She smiled softly at her words from so long ago. It was true; despite their time apart, he was still the longest steady relationship that she'd ever had with a man and truthfully, he was the only one that would put up with every single part of her.

She grabbed her phone from the nightstand, her fingers dancing across the screen;

'3:50am – You awake? Sorry if I woke you; if I did just go back to sleep, it can wait.'

She sent the message, waiting for the 'Delivered' to appear under the text.

Ping!

'Elliot: 3:51am – Nah, couldn't sleep so I'm watching a movie. You okay?'

Her fingers danced across the screen yet again;

'3:52am – Not really; can I call you?'

Within a few moments, her phone began to buzz in her hand; Elliot calling.

She answered in a flash; "El."

"Liv, what's wrong?" his voice was soft and gentle, just like the times in the past when he had become so concerned for her and would ask what was going on. Tears slipped down her cheeks and she swallowed. She couldn't deny it. Elliot was the only one who would understand. He was the only one that would ever understand. He knew her too well, and as much as it frightened her, it also made her feel very safe.

"I had a nightmare, one of the worst," she sniffled slightly as she tried to control her emotions, "I'm sorry, I don't want to cry, but-"

There was a pause, then he spoke; "Liv, I'm coming over."

"Elliot-"

"Not up for discussion, I'm coming over – text me your address."

Olivia couldn't say anything else. This was always Elliot; no matter what time of night it was and no matter what he had going on, he would drop anything just to be there for her. This was what she had missed the most over the last seven years, that feeling of someone fighting in her corner and being there for her no matter what. Sometimes, there were no words to describe Elliot, and as much as she wanted to be mad and distance herself from him, she knew she needed him because he was the only one who would get it. He was the only one that would make her feel safe.

"I'll text you." She replied. The two then hung up and she quickly text him her address, before sighing as she looked at the clock again; it was now four in the morning. She wiped the tears away before making her way out to the lounge and straight to the kitchen area. She flicked on the coffee pot before sitting on one of the stools at the counter, resting her head in her hands as she took a deep breath to calm herself down.

Elliot – she just needed him right now.

Olivia had just poured two steaming mugs of coffee when there was a knock at her door. It was ten minutes past four now, and that alone made her wonder how far Elliot actually lived from her or if he had broken some speed laws to get here. Either way, she was glad he was here now and when she pulled open the door, the felt her heart leap into her throat as she looked at him.

It was four in the morning, but he still looked relaxed in a pair of blue NYPD sweatpants and a grey t-shirt, along with a grey hoodie and a pair of white and black sneakers. He stepped inside and put his keys down onto the side board whilst she closed and locked the door. The two then looked at each other again, before Elliot then pulled her into his arms, giving her a warm hug as he rested his head on top of hers.

And with those strong arms around her, with her head cushioned against his firm chest, and with that comforting scent of his cologne filling her nostrils, she finally began to cry. She buried her face into his top, gripping onto his jacket, her tears leaving a wet patch on his shirt as she held him. He soothingly rubbed her back, kissing the top of her head every now and then, like he had done in the past when she needed comforting.

This was exactly what she wanted after Lewis. Brian had done the best he could with comforting her, but this right here, this person holding her, was what she had truly wanted.

The two stood like that for a few minutes, until Olivia's quiet sobs turned to sniffles and she stopped shaking so much. Elliot kept his arm around her, leading her over to the sofa and helping her to sit down. The coffee that she had brewed was forgotten as the two sat there together like old times when Elliot would come over after a hard case, and where the two would just sit there together. Elliot would have his arm draped around her shoulders and she would rest her head on his shoulder. They wouldn't talk, they would just try to make sense of their hellish day and just be there for each other in their own way.

They were silent for a few moments, before he spoke quietly; "Do you want to talk about it?"

She sat up a bit and turned to him, curling one of her legs under him as she watched him for a second. He had a genuine look of concern on his face, his blue eyes pouring into her browns as he tried to read her like old times. She knew he wouldn't make her talk about it if she didn't want to, but maybe it was best that they did talk a little bit about it, so she could at least relax.

"How much do you know about Lewis?"

She watched as his jaw tensed and he looked down at his hands. She wondered if he had seen it all over the news and heard all the details. Or maybe he had only heard a vague bit about it. Part of her wondered if he wanted to reach out to her but couldn't. Part of her wondered if he tried but the call was intercepted. Part of her wished he had been the one to find her. Part of her wished she had called him instead of backup.

'My old partner, he'd know what to do – he wouldn't question himself after what you've done."

Elliot would've known what to do.

'Maybe I should call him.'

Maybe she should've called him.

"Maur, Lizzie, and Dickie tried to shield me from it, but Kathleen was never one to beat around the bush, so she kept me updated," he breathed out, his leg bobbing up and down though he was trying to control the anger that was beginning to course through him,

"When I heard you were missing, God…Liv, I just, I almost wanted to call somebody and jump in to try and help, but I knew I couldn't. After the first two days, I was going crazy, and I was already a mess anyway – my life was a mess. I called the precinct to speak to Cragen, but was told he was out in the field helping with a case – I knew it was to help look for you. Lizzie came to the house and stayed to make sure I didn't watch the news and torture myself, Dickie was calling everyday to talk to me about everything else to occupy my mind; hell, me and Kathy were arguing so much at the time but even she was concerned and kept trying to shield me from all the details, but Kathleen kept me updated. She actually called me crying when they found you."

He paused briefly, sitting back against the sofa to look at her;

"When I heard what that son of a bitch did to those other girls it was one thing, but when I heard what he did to you – the extent of your injuries – Liv, I swear to God I wanted to come find him and strangle him myself. Fuck, like – I already felt like a failure, but I felt like I had failed you and I tried to call you, but your phone went straight to voicemail after a couple rings. I figured you had changed numbers or something, but I did anonymously send flowers to the precinct, they were blue and-"

"Blue and purple ones, I remember getting them but not knowing who they were from, but I thought they were beautiful." She gave a soft smile. She then shuffled closer, breathing out as she took her hand lightly in his;

"Elliot, you weren't a failure to me. I wanted you there so much, I even thought about calling you, I wanted you to save me but I knew it wasn't possible," her gaze shifted for a minute, then she looked up at him again,

"Lewis kept saying that his victims usually would cry out the name of the person they would give anything to see one last time, but it's like he saw past me, and knew that it wasn't my mother or my nonexistent father or Brian, but someone else – he knew that. When I said that my old partner would know what to do and all that, he used that against me, taunting me about you. I would never say your name out loud, I wouldn't let him say your name and use that against me; I held it too close to me. God though, you have no idea how close I was to calling you and screaming for you to come save me – I just wanted you."

"I would've done anything to save you, no matter how messed up I was, I would've snapped back for you," he spoke sincerely before continuing, "Was Lewis in your nightmare tonight?"

Olivia simply nodded, before quietly adding; "And Harris."

"Harris?" Elliot questioned with a raised eyebrow. Olivia nodded her head, a couple more tears slipping down her cheeks. Elliot stared at her for a little while longer as pieces started to come together in his head. He remembered something; this same look in her eyes when she was staring at the picture of Harris that night at her desk – hours after they'd let him go.

"What happened in the basement?"

She paused for a second before glancing at him;

"Nothing – I'm fine, El."

No, something had happened; something she hadn't told him.

"Olivia."

She looked up from her hands, seeing his blue eyes staring into her browns yet again. His next question caused her heart to race. Her hands began to shake and her skin crawled.

"What happened in the basement?"

Dun dun! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Please, leave some reviews and all that! Until next time... xoxo