A little less time between updates. Hooray! For anyone still following this series, and it isn't many, THANK YOU!
With a hefty sigh, Dean drops his head down with closed eyes. His shoulders slump, elbows propped on his knees as he sits on the couch in their living room next to Lizzy. After the explanation they just sat through, one that contains Lou and Sam's Boston trip along with all they learned about themselves while gone, they're both silent.
Hand pressed to her mouth, Lizzy fights not to cry. Once more, fate is after them. It never ends. It'll never end.
"I wish I could say we're surprised," Sam sadly adds in, his eyes always sliding over to his wife after they ran through it all. He's very worried about her. She's been quiet. And really, she's just shut down about it. He's dying to know where her head is but she's not speaking about it past the facts.
"Still sucks," Lizzy quietly says, her eyes glued to Lou.
"It does," Sam nods, his hand clamping down on Lou's knee.
"But hey, I married a Winchester so I was super fucked already, right?" Lou half laughs as her fake smile never reaches her eyes.
"I'm so… sorry…."
"Nah," Lou cuts Sam off. "Come on. I would've married you no matter what. Plus, it's not like I… wanted kids or anything. Right?"
Sam's brow wrinkles with the way she says it. He knows her well. She's lying. She's always denied wanting to be a mom but now Sam wonders if she wasn't totally truthful with him.
"So… what? Vasectomy time?" Dean asks suddenly after having been very quiet through the whole conversation so far.
Sam's face changes to fearful and grossed out very quickly.
"Why bother?" Lou laughs. "They aren't 100-percent effective anyways. If fate wants this… it'll get it."
"But you don't want it," Lizzy reminds. "And you've been careful, right?"
"Always," Sam nods sharply.
Lou keeps suspiciously quiet.
Lizzy narrows her eyes at her and waits to make eye contact. Lou never looks at her. Instead of wait, since she knows how stubborn Lou can be, Lizzy turns to Castiel as he stands to the side of the couch with arms crossed and a very concerned face. "Well, Cassie. You got anything? Heard of this?"
"Not once," Castiel admits, arms dropping to his side. "I was never made aware of everything Heaven had been privy to concerning Samuel and another, more evil Second Coming. Then again, I never had that kind of clearance." He thinks for a moment. "The demon could have been telling the truth. I wouldn't be surprised."
"Ugh!" Lou groans overly exaggerated. "We have to summon Crowley, don't we?"
"I can do it," Sam assures. "You don't need to be there."
"No, I do," Lou complains. "That limey little shit loves me. If he'll tell anyone, it'll be me."
"She's totally right," Dean agrees quickly. "Crowley isn't exactly as secretive as he thinks he is. He digs Lou."
Sam shivers with the thought.
"When do we do this?" Lizzy questions.
"Tomorrow," Lou jumps in quickly. "Sam and I can do it at the bar. We'll bring Cass for backup?" she asks him and the angel nods in the affirmative. "You guys stay here. No need to put every life in front of Hell's king midget."
"We can do it today," Sam offers. "We have everything to summon him and it might be good to just get it over with."
"No," Lou shakes her head. "I'm not ready yet. And I'm stealing Lizzy and getting outta here for a bit this afternoon."
"You are?" Lizzy asks.
"Yep," Lou nods. Sam throws her a look of question. "Girl time. I need it."
"Whatever," Dean complains and stands up. "I'm getting a beer."
He disappears into the kitchen and Lou stands up. "Alright. Let's go."
"Now!?" Lizzy asks with surprise.
"Yeah. Sammy's asleep for another hour at least. Let's just go drive around or something. Grab a beer?"
Lizzy's wide eyes of doubt stare at her from her spot on the couch. What the fuck is going on with her? "Sure. Uh… let's go."
When Lizzy stands up to leave with Lou, she makes a pointed look at Sam. He just shrugs and takes his phone out of his back pocket. He shakes it in front of her and Lizzy nods. They'll text each other about whatever the hell is going on with Lou. Deal.
The Mustang pulls up to and parks in front of the small mom and pop drug store on the main drag of Smith Center. Such a small town, there's no need for franchise stores. Everything is local.
Lou turns off the engine and sits there, staring at the store front window and not moving. And not moving.
And still not moving.
"Okayyyyy…" Lizzy starts, super confused. Lou looks down at the keys in her hand and fiddles with them. "I thought we were getting a beer…."
"I think I'm pregnant."
Lou blurts it with no warning and never makes eye contact. She keeps fiddling with her keys and ignoring that fact that her best friend is next to her.
"Uh… huh?" Lizzy asks with a very hesitant voice as she can't have heard correctly.
"I'm five days late and you know I'm never late," Lou keeps her voice small with fear. "I kinda thought it was stress at first but it crossed my mind that I might be… right before we heard from Derek and had to leave. I ignored it, got busy, and went to Boston. Now…." She sighs hard and gives up on the sentence. "I still haven't gotten my period."
Eyes the size of golf balls, Lizzy's heart thumps in her throat. "Lou! Jesus Christ!"
Lou doesn't answer.
"But you're on the pill!"
"I missed a few…."
"What!?" Lizzy shouts, fear hitting her hard. "What the fuck, Lou!?"
Lou's eye close. "I got comfortable."
"You got fucking comfortable!"
"I forgot a couple days in a row. I fucked up and had sex before I realized. I… really fucked up." She rubs her forehead with the headache building behind her eyes.
When Lou's voice cracks at the end of the comment, something that never happens ever with Lou's usually unflappable attitude, Lizzy knows this is no joke. Her tone changes immediately after that. This is real and with everything they've just learned about Sam and her fate, this is NOT GOOD.
"Well… um…." Lizzy tries to start but can't find the words. What is there to say?
"Oh, my fucking god," Lou quietly says to herself as she lets her mind accept what might be happening.
"Shit," something dawns on Lizzy. "You didn't tell him yet, did you?" Sam was calm enough today to make that fact clear.
Lou shakes her head. "I couldn't."
"Why not?"
Lou pauses. "Didn't know if it was true or not. And now?" She huffs a disgusted laugh. "It'll be evil. How do I tell him with our fate just crammed in our faces like this?"
"Are you sure there is an it at all yet?" Lizzy wonders, trying to piece together why they are at a drug store at all.
"No."
You haven't taken a test yet?"
"Not yet."
"And that's why we're here?"
Lou nods.
"Alright. Stay put," Lizzy tells her, getting out of the car and hustling into the store. Lou needs her to be the one that holds it together, then she can do that.
Time to buy some pregnancy tests.
It's only perfect that her phone buzzes in her back pocket while she's standing in front of a display of several different pregnancy tests.
"Shit," Lizzy swears under her breath as she remembers that Sam was going to text her. She checks and as she thought, it's Sam.
Is she okay?
"Now I have to fucking lie to Sam too. Great," Lizzy mutters while typing back.
She's overwhelmed. And super stressed out about all this. I think she just needed time away to sort it all out. We used to do this when we were younger too. Girl time.
Sam almost immediately texts back.
Good. I'm glad she has you right now. Guess she needed someone she could trust with this one.
Three boxes of tests in her hands, Lizzy rolls her eyes. Sam's insecurities are showing hard but she stuffs her phone back into her pocket and marches for the checkout. "Sorry, Sam-I-Am. One at a time."
"Are you sure we should be doing this without Lou?" Castiel wonders, watching Sam place the needed items into the gold bowl on the workbench.
"Lou isn't… Lou right now," Sam says, diligently creating the spell in their back shed. Though cramped, it was the best option they had. "This whole thing has made her… I don't know. Shut down. We need answers and she's not ready for them. At least this way, when she's ready to hear it, I can tell her and she can avoid Crowley all together."
Castiel nods with understanding. "Do you think it wise we do this so close to your home, with Samuel here?" he lets his worries be known.
"I don't think Crowley's looking to cause trouble with us right now," Sam comments. "We haven't seen him in… ages. Plus, we have a devil's trap ready and we salted the whole place. He's not getting out until we let him safely."
"But still…."
"I checked with Dean. He said it was okay."
"Fine," Castiel hesitantly agrees and lets Sam finish the spell. He'd much prefer doing this far, far from Samuel, especially after the very quality time they've had. He's feeling more protective than ever of the young boy.
Bowl lit, the flash of light fills the room and the moment it dies, the King of Hell is standing in the middle of the devil's trap.
Crowley sighs heavily with an overly exaggerated eye roll. "I was in the middle of something important!"
"Well, we have something more important to talk to you about," Sam responds with, his tone much more stern than just seconds ago.
"More important than soul acquisition statistic analysis!?" Crowley yells at the hunter, irate.
San wrinkles his face with that response. "What?"
"I was in a meeting," Crowley grits out, simplifying it for the simpleton.
"Wow, I guess you guys real are like Wall Street," Sam jokes lightly.
"No, we have integrity," the demon corrects.
"Look, I need to talk to you about Lou's fate," Sam lets him , needing to get down to it.
Crowley pauses, his face melting off the anger. He straightens his maroon tie, stands a little taller, and asks him, "How is my dear Louise? You are treating her like the queen that she is, yes?"
Sam's face sours. "The queen that she is!? What is your deal with my wife, Crowley?"
"What is your deal with not seeing her as a queen?" Crowley simple turns it around.
"Is it all true?" Castiel cuts into the brewing argument to keep everyone on task. "That a child produced by Sam and Lou would be the true Antichrist?"
Crowley gives them a look of surprise but very unconvincingly responds with, "Whatever are you talking about?"
Sam's anger drains and is replaced with that of pure disappointment when he can tell Crowley is lying. He already knows. "So, it's true."
Crowley shrugs and drops his arms heavily. "What do you want me to say, moose? That you're little calf will be a bright, sunny young person that will make all good decisions and not try and take over the world in the name of Hell?"
"What do you mean, his little calf?" Castiel asks, stepping closer with a curious expression. "You mean their theoretical child, if they were to have one." He then waits for Crowley's response to it, getting a certain feeling about the whole thing.
"Yes," Crowley quickly answers, correcting his slip. "Theoretically, if Sam and Lou were to have a child… it would be pure evil. The blood of a very powerful demon is still in his veins and Louise has a lot of Nephilim DNA. I would have assumed you'd already have reservation about breeding due to those facts alone… that is if you ever took the time to think about it."
Sam looks to the roof of the old shed, trying to compose himself. He thought he'd accepted his childless life before, but now he has to truly, deep down make peace with the lack of hope he's saddled with.
He never fully came to terms with never being a father before now.
"Okay," Sam nods, swallowing thickly around the lump in his throat. "That's all we needed."
"You seem a touch upset, Sam," Crowley says with faux shock. "Were you planning to be as sloppy and careless as that brother of your? Pop out some next generation hunter and let yet another human be cursed right along with you?"
Sam clenches his jaw for a moment to compose himself. "No, actually. Lou and I had an agreement to never let another kid go through what we have. So, before you get all excited about some new evil you can corrupt, don't. It'll never happen." Sam looks away. "Especially now."
"Well, I'm just not buying it," Crowley calls him out. "You're lying."
"I'm not," Sam tries to say with conviction, but fails. "I… will never have kids. Never. And know that now. For sure." He then drags the bottom of of his boot across the still wet paint of the devil's trap, breaking it. "Get out of here, Crowley."
The demon looks hurt. "That's it? Just the quick reach around?"
Sam rolls his eyes and sighs, no longer willing do deal with Crowley's crap. "Just go."
"No spooning afterwards? Seriously?"
"Leave, Crowley!" Castiel booms out, his sword dropping from his sleeve in threat.
"Fine. I wasn't looking for a fight when you two so rudely interrupted my meeting anyways." Crowley pauses a moment. "Any chance you'd give me access to the prophet in exchange for this kind sharing of information?"
"No," Sam gets angry instantly with the mention of Kevin.
"Always one sided with you Winchesters. I give, and I give, and I give… and for what!? So selfish." Crowley straightens his suit lapels and dusts off the invisible particles on his pocket square. He then looks up at Sam and winks. "Give our girl a kiss for me. She's going to need it."
He disappears.
Sam looks over to Castiel once the demon is gone. "He's getting weirder about Lou."
"He is," Castiel responds, his mind obviously far off and churning. He has an odd gut feeling right now about Crowley not being so forthcoming. And more so than usual.
"Should I be worried?" Sam asks, seeing that Castiel is in agreement.
"No," Castiel assures. "If need be, I can check up on his comings and goings. I wouldn't worry about Crowley right now. I'd worry about your wife."
"She does seem a little messed up over this," Sam nods. "I didn't expect that."
"Lou is an unusually strong woman," Castiel spells out what he sees. "And so far she's been tougher than most. However… maybe this was the final straw, so to say. Maybe… it was just too much."
Sam's face wrinkles as he thinks about it. Castiel is right. "Yeah. She's tough but… I know better. Some things do actually crack her shell."
"I'm assuming that discovering you are to birth the ultimate evil would crack every person's shell."
Sam nods. "You're probably right." He then picks up their supplies and starts cleaning the shed. "I'll give her a little more time."
"And she's currently with her sister. I believe that will also be of assistance."
"Yeah," Sam's tone lightens as he finds a little hope within the situation. Lou will be alright. She always is. And Lizzy will help. Lou has her family and support. His wife will be fine. Sam finishes cleaning and looks at Castiel. "Let's head in?"
"I'm right behind you," Castiel nods and follows Sam out. As he waits for Sam to triple lock the shed back up and head back inside, Castiel takes out his phone and sends one single text to Lizzy.
Where are you right now?
"Can you stop?" Lizzy asks as she watches Lou relentlessly pace up and down the barroom floor of the roadhouse she owns.
Lou pauses mid-stride, shoots Lizzy one seriously icy look, and marches for the bar. "Fuck off."
"Fuck you," Lizzy returns, checking the timer on her phone. One more full minute left.
"I'm fucking nervous!" Lou shouts at her sibling as she gets behind the bar, grabs a bottle of Jack, and pours a shot.
"So, you're going to drink?" Lizzy checks nervously. "Right now?"
"Depending on what all three of those fuckers say…." She nods to the three lined up pregnancy tests on a bar towel sitting on one of the round tables in the open bar. "Absolutely."
Lizzy's phone buzzes. She checks and sees that she has a message from Castiel.
Where are you right now?
She answers back quickly.
Lou's bar. Why?
As soon as she sends the text off, her phone's alarm sounds.
Both women freeze for a split second. Lizzy stops the alarm and they just stare at each other.
"Well, I'm not looking," Lou defiantly states, too scared to know.
Lizzy just rolls her eyes, stands up, and walks to the three tests. All three say the very same thing.
"Well?" Lou asks, impatient.
"You're with child."
Jumping with the sudden scare, both women snap their focus to the angel suddenly in the center of the large room.
"You are, aren't you?" Castiel asks, sure of it as he marches quickly to Lou. He places two fingers on her forehead, closes his eyes, and checks her with his grace.
"Uh… well, if all three of these tests are right… yeah. Lou's pregnant," Lizzy tells them both.
"Fuck!" Lou shouts with absolute, soul-deep fear.
"Well, at least the child is healthy," Castiel announces, taking his hand back.
"Yeah, just healthy enough to fuck the whole world," Lou's voice cracks and she flops down on a bar stool. She presses a hand over her eyes and closes them, forced to now confront the reality she's in right now. "Oh, god."
The room grows silent for a moment.
"What the fuck am I gonna do?" Lou's tight,crumbling voice ask from behind her hand.
"We," Lizzy corrects and heads over to her sister. She grabs Lou's hand and pushes it aside. She then holds her face in both hands and makes Lou look at her. "You aren't alone. We got this. You, me, Sam…."
"He can't know!" Lou blurts out in a panic, eye wide with true fear.
"What?" Lizzy nearly laughs. "That's half his, you know?"
"That's why!" Lou yells at her sister, shoving her away. "If he knows he won't let me do what I have to do!"
Lizzy's frozen in place. Her eyes slide to Castiel, his face equally confused, before returning to Lou. The woman's eyes are rimmed with threatening tears. "Dude, what are you talking about?"
"I… I can't have this kid," Lou spells it out. "I can't. It'll… burn down the fucking world… and threaten Sammy's life. I can't let that happen. I… I, I can't literally be the mother of evil."
"So, you want to…?" Lizzy asks, letting the question hang in the air like that. She can't bring herself to say it.
"I… I have to, don't I?" Lou wonders aloud, the tears falling with the pleading question. "I mean, it's evil, right? How could I let this happen when I know what it could do?"
The bar grows silent. No one knows how to answer her.
"Fuck," Lou quietly say to herself and gives into her emotions. She actually cries.
"Alright, this is all super fresh," Lizzy starts, taking Lou's arm and guiding her to a chair at one of the tables. "Sit down. Take more than one minute to think things through without making any decisions. Whatever happens, I'm with you, okay? But for just right this second… sit with this."
Lou plops into the chair and draws her knees in, hugging them into a ball. She sighs and places her forehead on her knees. The world is in her hands… womb… and it's all on her. No matter how she looks at it, there are no onesies or bottles or swaddles. She sees the destruction and pain and misery that she alone could cause this world. She can't be happy or excited. There just isn't a way to be excited about this. In order to do what's right, she needs to focus.
"Elizabeth," Castiel says sternly to grab her attention. Once he has it, he nods to the front door and silently asks for a moment alone. She nods.
"Louie, I'm gonna head outside for a second with Cass, okay?" Lou gives her no answer at all. Just stares at the ground. "Tell me you'll be fine."
"I'm fine," she lies, knowing the angel wants to speak with her. He knows everything. And Lizzy tells her everything. She might as well let them talk alone.
"Okay," Lizzy forces a smile, squeezes Lou's shoulder, and heads outside with Castiel hot on her heels.
The second the front door shuts behind them, Castiel says with no uncertainty at all, "She cannot have this child."
Eyes wide, Lizzy just says, "Dude!"
"It's all true," Castiel explains. "Sam and I spoke with Crowley…"
"What!? When!?" Lizzy nearly shouts.
"Just now. In your back shed," Castiel explains quickly. "Sam needed answers and backup. I went with him. Crowley confirmed the story the demon told Lou and Sam in Boston. That child is evil. Pure and true. And it will battle Samuel for the rights to humanity. It has to die."
"Fuck, Cass!" Lizzy complains, her throat tight with everything. "What the fuck!?"
"I'm sorry, but the longer she waits on this…."
"The harder it'll be, I know," Lizzy nods solemnly. She forces the lump in her throat down in order to focus. "Shit. This is gonna kill Sam."
"Yes, but Sam understands necessity. He will get it."
"He won't," her chin quivers. "Sam wants this."
"He wants a child?" Castiel asks.
"Yes," Lizzy presses a hand over her mouth for a moment. "He… we talked a few months back, when I got back. I hadn't spent time with him, just us, in a long time. I came here when Sam was covering a shift for Lou and we got a little drunk. He told me he loves Lou more than anything… but he wished she wanted kids. She doesn't. He does, even if it'd be stupid to have one with our lives."
"I'm sure you can understand that fear."
"No shit," Lizzy nods. "But he wants that so bad. And with Sammy, he's just so… and I never saw it coming, that he'd be that great with kids. Sam, he should get to be a dad. He should."
"Elizabeth, he can't. Not with Lou, at least," Castiel makes it clear as he usually does. "This child will tear down the Earth, and Samuel with it, if it all goes to plan."
Lizzy wipes her eyes and forces her emotions to stop. She needs to be strong here. She has to be. "Okay. So. We deal with this. I just hope Lou is…."
The bar door flies open and Lou marches out. She aims for the Mustang, keys in hand. "Lizzy, lock up. We need to go."
"Go… where?" Lizzy asks.
"Home," Lou says. "I have to call my doctor."
"And talk to Sam?"
"No one says anything to Sam!" Lou turns and points sharply at both the human and angel standing in the lot out front. "Not yet! Or I kill you both!" And then she drops into the car and starts it up, idling the engine as she waits.
Lizzy rolls her eyes and starts to head for the door, saying to Castiel over her shoulder, "Seriously, don't say anything for now."
"I won't," Castiel drops his arms to his sides, uncomfortable with the request but ready to follow it for his charge.
"Thank you!" Lizzy appreciates, knowing Castiel is always uncomfortable lying or keeping things from friends. He's done it before and it killed him to do so. He swore he would never again but here they are… and Lizzy's asking him to do just that.
Lizzy gets inside the bar, turns off the lights, and before she leaves to lock the doors she notices the lone shot glass on the bar top. It's now empty.
Having kept himself occupied for the time being, waiting for Lou to return to speak with her about everything he just found out, Sam walks into the living room of their house to find Derek watching Sports Center, his sock-clad feet on the coffee table while lounging on the couch.
"Derek, hey," Sam greets while sitting down in the chair off to Derek's side, a few items in his hands. He places them on the end table next to him.
"Hey," Derek smiles. "You catch the Pat's game Sunday? Jesus, what a blow out. Brady looked like shit in a rare loss. Maybe he's getting old, huh?"
Sam's forehead wrinkles. "I, uh… don't really follow the Patriots."
"Right," Derek nods. "You're a Kansas boy. So… the Chiefs. Damn, sorry man." He laughs at Sam's unfortunate team designation.
"Actually, I don't really follow sports."
"What!?" Derek nearly shouts with disgust. "What do you do with your life?"
"Fight monsters, mostly," Sam deadpans.
"Right," Derek huffs a laugh. "No time for fun when the world is in your hands."
"Kind of," Sam nods in agreement. "I mean, I used to follow sports. As a kid. I, uh… I was a huge fan of Brick…"
"Holmes!" Derek yells with excitement over Sam's voice as they both say the players last name at the same time. "Fucking legendary! That dude was inhuman!"
"I used to watch every game I could that he played… but, it was hard. Being in different states all the time. Never knew what the local stations would play."
"You moved around a lot?"
"We moved to wherever dad needed to hunt. We never really had a home."
"Ever!?"
"No… well, until now."
Getting a sliver of a picture of what Sam has been though in his life, Derek moves on. He's not ready to hear it yet. It's probably terrible. He's thinking all hunters must have had terrible lives at one point in order to be a hunter. "Man, his stats are nuts," Derek shakes his head, remembering the legendary player well. "Quarterback of a lifetime. It's gonna take Brady six more years of health playing to even think about beating his records."
"Not gonna happen," Sam says with certainty.
"Don't be too sure," Derek tuts before laying on his over the top Boston accent. "My Tommy, that dood's got the skills, kid. You know he once saved a baby from a cah fi-ah after drinkin', like, thirty bee-ahs in the middle of a nor-eastah?"
Sam's face shows how confused he is by the comment.
"Jesus, tough crowd," Derek laughs, seeing Sam for who he might really be. A little on the stiff side. "Dean would've laughed at that."
"Dean's a child," Sam smiles.
"He does seem to have a little bit of a… mischievous quality about him," Derek winks back.
"My brother's straight," Sam reminds.
"The best ones always are," Derek dramatically sighs and slumps back into his spot on the couch.
"And married. To your sister."
"The best ones always are," Derek smirks and winks slickly at Sam.
"Ha-ha," Sam fake laughs the joke off. "So, have you put anymore thought into everything? About, you know, hunting?"
"Yeah," Derek nods, sitting up taller and putting his feet on the ground. "I mean, my opinion hasn't changed much. I think it's time I do something to help the world out instead of be silent and floating through life without purpose."
"Then you could find a job at a nonprofit," Sam speaks truthfully, making sure Derek really, fully understands the ramifications of taking on the hunting life. "Join the Peace Corp."
"Yeah, right," Derek huff a laugh. "I just finally saw the truth for the first time. I spent years bitter and filled with hate for my own sister… scratch that, sisters… and I never believed them. Lou went off and lived a life of heroism. I mean, she's saved what? A few dozen lives at least?"
"Try hundreds," Sam tells him very seriously but with heartfelt pride.
"And what did I do? I joined Corporate America and became a worthless piece of shit. I lived so selfishly. I drank too much, fucked probably too many random dudes….
"Sounds good to me!" Dean announces as he walks into the room from the kitchen. Beer in hand, he had planned to watch some TV and veg out while Sammy keeps napping but instead he walked into a conversation he hasn't followed enough to comment on. But when has that ever stopped Dean?
"You wanna fuck too many dudes too?" Derek asks with a peaked interest.
"No," he answers simply, handing Derek a beer. "But the whole living selfishly and drinking and fucking… women… wouldn't actually upset me all that much." He then hands Sam a beer also.
"Even if you knew the truth about what's out there?" Sam pushes his brother, looking to get Derek to hear the truth from two brothers who have lived the life more fully than any others. "Even if you knew people where dying every damn day… you'd pick a paycheck and being… indulgent?"
Dean plops onto the other end of the couch as Derek, putting the younger man between them. "No. I'd hunt. Every time."
"See!" Derek points at Derek while looking to Sam. "He just proved my point!"
Sam gives Derek a look before asking Dean, "And how long before you died if you picked that path in your selfish and invincible twenties?"
"First hunt. Maybe second if I was lucky," Dean nods, getting the whole picture of the conversation they're having now.
"Not helping, man," Derek complains.
"But he's right," Sam hammers it all home. "And Lou just got you back. How do you think she'd do if you dove into hunting head first to be like her… and you died right away?"
For once, Derek stays silent.
"This is not a decision you make in a day or two," Sam continues. "This is not something you just jump into. You need to think, long and hard, before you commit."
"When did you guys decide to start hunting?" Derek asks them.
Sam huffs a disgusted laugh. "Decide?"
Derek shakes his head and shrugs, not understanding.
"Derek, we didn't choose this life," Dean explains to him. "At all. Our mom died when we were young. It was a demon and dad didn't handle it well. He took us on the road, hunted while he ditched us at motels… and when we were deemed old enough, we were trained to be like him. There was no question. There was no 'what do you want to be when you grow up' conversations in our household. There was one path. You, on the other hand, have multiple paths. And you have an education to boot. Kid, you got a good thing going. You better think long and hard before you throw all that away. Sam would've killed for an education like you got."
Sam's face wrinkles with insult. "I have an education like he has."
Dean pauses, remembering. "Well, yeah… but what's it worth now?"
Sam's face drops. "Well, nothing…."
"Exactly!" Dean points at him and looks to Derek. "Think about this. Because right now you're surrounded by a law degree and a GED… and we get paid the exact same to do the same shit job."
"You get paid?" Derek's face lightens a little.
Sam laughs a little. "Yeah… no."
Dean laughs to himself and puts his feet on the coffee table, boots on. "Should get paid. P-Diddy money," he says quietly to himself as he takes a long drag of his beer while Derek starts to worry about his decisions.
"Look," Sam brings Derek back. "We know your intentions are good. And the idea that you want to help out and do what we all do, that just shows you're a good person. But… you need to be ready to ditch everything else. You're going to throw away your achievements because, to hunting, they mean…"
"Jack with a side of shit," Dean interrupts.
Sam rolls his eyes. "Nice, but he right. Your going to lose track of your friends, your roots, your belongings…."
"You know how hobos live?" Dean asks, peering at Derek out of the corner of his eyes while watching Sport Center still. "It's kinda like that. But you'll acquire a rap sheet with things like arson and grave desecration and murder over time if you're really good. And hey, you're one of us. You'd probably be really good." Dean nods at him to let him know he means it.
"And… if you decide after you read everything we give you and you think about it for at least a month… you need a lot of training."
"Like, all the training," Dean cuts in.
"Who would train me?" Derek wonders aloud.
"L," Dean answers without thinking.
"Seriously?" Sam asks.
"Ah, she could kill me with an arm tied behind her back and holding Sammy in the other. Who the hell is better then L at hand to hand?"
Sam nods. "And she used to train self defence. She's a good teacher."
"Damn straight."
"And Lou could probably teach him to shoot."
"And you can tackle the book stuff… the lore," Dean figures, emphasizing the last words to sound like his nerdy brother.
Sam ignores it and nods, thinking it over. "This could work. Hey, but, uh… what would you do?"
Dean looks surprised. "Me?"
"Yeah."
"I'll… supervise," Dean sums up and ignore his brother starting now.
"Supervise? Really?" Sam calls him out.
"Yup."
"So you're gonna really get in there and help out by watching everyone else do the hard work?"
"Basically," Dean admits.
"You know, Dean…."
"Guys?" Derek cuts off the bickering before it can really take off. "How about I make a decision in a month from now and then we can plan this all out?"
Sam nods and Dean keep quiet, their own way of agreeing.
"Where do I start with figuring out if I want to do this then?" Derek questions.
"Well, you could start here," Sam answers picking up the stack next to him and handing it over.
"What are these?" Derek wonders, taking the three books from him and seeing the worn, old leather of all three. One is less destroyed then the others but they've all been through a battle.
"Journals," Sam tells him. "The bottom one is our dad's. The top one belonged to a guy that was part of our family too. He meant a lot to us and he was…."
"The best damn hunter there ever was," Dean says quickly to add in, still staring at the TV. He can't say much more past that. Bobby's death is still too much for him.
"He was," Sam corroborate. "His journal will probably be the clearest picture you're going to get about a long life in hunting… which is pretty unheard of. And the middle one… that's your sister's."
Derek's head whips up and looks at Sam. "This is Louie's?"
"Yeah," Sam smiles. "I started that for her years ago. It was originally Lou and Lizzy's but Lizzy…."
"Let me guess," Derek smiles. "Lizzy had no fucking interest and my sister got way too into it."
"Yeah," Sam laughs a little. "You know them well."
Derek shrugs. "They're my family." He's starting to see just how important that label is to this group so he uses it wisely.
Sam grins and nods, happy to hear that from the estranged brother that once didn't care about his own sister's death. "I gotta say, man. I'm really happy you're here. Lou pretends shit doesn't bother her but you… she missed you. A lot."
Derek smiles softly and runs his fingers over Lou's journal. "I might start here."
"Good choice," Sam nods. "And let me know if you have questions or need me to clarify anything."
"Will do," he nods back and stands up. "Think I'm gonna grab a few beers and sit out in the backyard. Get going on this."
"Okay," Sam says and Derek heads for the kitchen.
Once they both hear the back sliding door open and close, Dean shoots Sam a pointed look. "You're trying to get in trouble, that it?"
"What?" Sam asks, confused.
"You sure you should be trying to get Derek into the life?" Dean wonders. "And are you sure Lou won't kill you if he decides to go for it?"
"First of all, that wasn't a sales pitch," Sam rebuts. "Were you even listening? I made hunting sound like total crap."
"But you didn't tell him he shouldn't do it," Dean counters.
"Who can? He was raised the same as Lou and Lizzy. You think anyone can tell any of them what to do?"
Dean nods. "Fair point."
"I just think it's only fair that we give him the most realistic look at what hunting is before he can make a decision. If he still chooses to hunt… who could stop him anyways? At least he knows what to expect."
"Can't argue with that," Dean says as his phone rings in his pocket. He pulls it out and looks at the screen. "Well, hot damn." He answers the call. "Kevin. How's it going?"
Sam watches as Dean expression changes into a very concerned one.
"Kevin? Kevin!?" Dean tries a few more times before the call is ended on the other side.
"Something wrong?" Sam questions after the odd call.
"Guess so," Dean says. "Kevin just said to come quick and then… nothing. Sounded like he fell or something and the call cut out."
"That can't be good."
"No. And we haven't heard from him in a while."
"Let's go check on him," Sam gets up and heads for the stairs.
"Uh, what about Lou?" Dean asks, also getting up. "I can check on him myself."
"Lou clearly needs Lizzy only right now," Sam logics as he tries not to sound hurt. "And I'll call her from the road. Let her know what's going on and check in with her."
"You sure, man?" Dean questions his brother's plan. "L would probably kick my ass if I ditched her right now."
Sam pauses and turns around. "If Lou needed me right now, wouldn't she be here with me then?"
Dean thinks quick. "Can't fault your logic there."
"Then let's go. I can deal with Lou and everything else later," Sam says with determination and marches up the stairs to pack for a couple days.
"That seemed healthy," Dean says to no one and heads out to the back patio to let Derek know the deal.