Always Gold

Severus smiled when he saw Rowan waiting for him outside of the transfiguration classroom when the seventh years' lesson let out for the day. Approaching his brother, he swung an arm around the younger's shoulders. "Hey, mate! What're you doing out here? Don't you have your charms study group with Wyatt White and Aiden Flint right now?"

Rowan's face went from neutral to nervous almost instantaneously. "Usually…" he mumbled.

"What? Did you find out the three of you like the same Sheila or something?" he teased, knowing there was absolutely no chance that it could be the case. Rowan had better taste than those two combined when it came to romantic interests. And everything else, if he did say so himself.

In all truthfulness, Severus didn't understand why Rowan even studied with them sometimes. White may be top in his year for charms, but a group of good, encouraging people would be equally helpful. Or better. Severus felt Rowan could do with spending more time with supportive peers. Especially over someone who treated him like a dunderhead for not being as inclined in a subject as they.

His brother frowned and stepped away from him. "No, that's not it," he said. "It's…" he sighed and shook his head a little. "Can we go somewhere and talk a bit? In private?"

Severus's heart gave a particularly hard thump at the request. Don't tell him Rowan had figured out who his dad was. Oh, Severus hoped it wasn't that; things were only now starting to calm down. He had been wanting to finish his last two weeks at Hogwarts as quietly as possible. Given the circumstance, anyway. In spite of his fears, he laughed like nothing was wrong and agreed, "Sure, Ro. Got a place in mind for us?"

-O-

Fifteen minutes later they were sitting in one of Hogwarts's more hidden courtyards. Rowan seemed pretty familiar with the place as he'd lead them into it. Even more so when he took them around a large pillar covered in half-dead vines to a tiny alcove. In the alcove, a cracked stone bench resided. Severus got the impression few came here. And those who did did not include Hogwarts's caretaker or the castle's professors. They'd never let a bench stay broken like this when it was so easy to mend with the right combination of spells. They all took a lot of pride in keeping Hogwarts in "tip-top shape", as his aunt would say.

Rowan went over and took a seat on the broken bench. He then turned an expectant gaze on Severus, staying silent as he waited for Severus to take a seat next to him. Still feeling a little jittery and scared, Severus joked, "Nice spot. Bring a lot of Sheilas out here?"

His brother rolled his eyes. "Milly showed me it when we were younger and still exploring the castle on the weekends," he explained. Then, in a lower tone he muttered, "I reckon she's brought a lot more lads here than I've ever brought girls."

"Hey, now," Severus chided. He hated when Rowan got down on himself. His brother was honest to Merlin nice. He did stuff in the name of being helpful to others. Which was more than a lot of their fellow Slytherins (Severus included) did. Whatever girl ended up marrying Rowan would be the luckiest witch in all of Britain. If not the world, Severus was certain. With great reluctance, Severus took the seat beside his brother. He couldn't bear to listen to Rowan beat himself up any more than he already had. "So, what did you want to have a chin-wag about?" he asked.

The younger teenager began to fidget with the hem of his sleeve. "I've been patient," he started. "I've told myself there's a reason you'd tell Chetan first and not me, your best mate beside Teddy, yet…"

Severus took a moment to make sense of Rowan's jumbled utterance. When he realized what his brother was getting at, Severus wasted no time in reassuring him. He grabbed the younger's hand and said, "Oh, Ro—"

"Don't 'oh, Ro' me," Rowan snapped, pulling away from Severus. "Tell me. Why? Why did you trust someone who wasn't trustworthy with who your father is instead of me? I've been your best mate for years and Chetan was your boyfriend hardly for one!"

"Ro."

His brother only glared at him, arms crossed and an expectant air to him.

Severus wasn't usually speechless, but he was now. What did he say? Do? How could he explain that him telling Chetan had nothing and everything to do with Rowan? He parted his lips, only to seal them once more. He turned his head. He stared down at where his hands rested in his lap. Finger by finger, they balled into fists. When did Rowan become entitled to knowing every little thing about Severus?

He hadn't!

Overtaken by a surge of rage, he hissed, "I don't have to explain myself to you." The spark of fury in his chest now a bonfire burning him up from the inside out, Severus rose to his feet. He pointed an accusing finger at his brother. "Who are you to even demand answers? Where the Hell do you get off being cross with me about who I choose to tell who my father is! You're not my brother!"

Severus regretted his words the moment they left his lips.

Rowan stared back up at him, the adoration that had been so synonymous with his gaze now gone. In its place lay contempt and heartbreak. "My apologies," he muttered. "I guess we aren't as close as I thought we were." Rowan rose to his feet. Severus found himself startled when he realized they were the same height. When had that happened? When had his little brother grown so tall? His brother looked to his hands a moment. "When I was little, I dreamed of having a big brother, somebody who'd always fight for me." Rowan chuckled. "I thought I'd got my wish when you rescued me from those bullies in my first year and took me under your wing." Rowan met Severus's gaze once more. "I guess I was wrong."

The younger teenager stepped back and turned away from Severus. "See you around, Snape."

"Rowan!" he yelled after him.

His brother ignored his cry and picked up his pace. Severus started to run after him, only to come to a halt when Rowan spun around, wand pointed in his direction.

Eyes wet, he demanded, "Leave me alone! Or I'll curse you!"

Severus put up his hands. "Alright," he whispered. "Alright, Ro."

"And stop calling me that! I'm not a child anymore. Call me Rowan like everyone else!"

He swallowed thickly and ignored the way his own eyes began to tear up. "Okay, Rowan."

His brother glared at him a moment more before angrily wiping his eyes and turning heel to stalk away from him.

Severus fought ever instinct that screamed at him to run after the younger teenager. That wasn't what Rowan wanted. Severus wasn't going to disrespect his brother any more than he already had.

-o-O-o-

The Three Broomsticks was busier than ever. Severus's peers were squeezing in their last moments with their mates and lovers before the school year's end. Some were there to have fun. Those students were drinking butterbeer and playing Exploding Snaps at the tables nearest the bar. While others had decided to turn the pub into a study hall for their final exams this coming week. They had their noses buried in textbooks with empty tea and coffee cups piling up around them. As for Severus, he was using it as a place to wallow.

Seated at the bar, he was nursing a mug of half-drunk ale between his hands. Staring down into the pale liquid he thought over the last week. He should have run after Rowan, not let him just walk away. Sure, his brother may have cursed him, but wouldn't Severus have deserved it? He'd said he wasn't his brother. Maybe only he knew their true relationship, but Rowan had made it clear he thought of Severus as one in spite of his ignorance.

Severus had thought he could apologize after he left Rowan alone to calm down for a couple of days. As well as properly explain why Chetan got to know something so personal about Severus first. However, Rowan was doing an extremely good job of ignoring and avoiding him. His little brother hadn't looked at him once since that afternoon in the courtyard. Severus feared he would never again at this rate.

He was abruptly pulled from his musings when a familiar skinny body took the seat nex to him. He glanced up and saw Teddy ordering himself a glass of pumpkin juice. He didn't like to drink anything strong during the day, unlike Severus. Once his godbrother had his glass of pumpkin juice, he turned his gaze on Severus and quirked one eyebrow.

"I fucked shit up, Teddy."

Teddy's eyes turned a warm golden hue. "I know, but he'll forgive you," he said as he reached out to lay a hand on his arm.

Severus felt his lip tremble. "Will he?" asked Severus. "I said he wasn't my brother."

His godbrother sighed and brought his arm up to wrap it around his shoulder. "Give him some time, Severus," he advised. "I'm sure he won't let you leave Hogwarts without putting this behind the two of you. He loves you."

"D'you really think so?" Severus whispered into Teddy's shoulder.

There was a beat of hesitation on the Hufflepuff's part. "…I really hope so, yeah."

Severus understood what that meant. Teddy knew no better than he if this was something they'd overcome before he left Hogwarts forever. "Merlin, kill me," he muttered.

Teddy gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Come on, Severus. Don't say that. No matter what… I'm always going to be here for you, okay?"

"Thanks, mate," Severus replied bringing his own arm up to bring Teddy in for a side-hug. Then, softer, he said, "I love you."

Briefly, Teddy rested his head atop Severus's shoulder. "Love you too, brother."

-o-O-o-

Severus boarded the boat holding Teddy and his godbrother's fellow Hufflepuff, Emily Truman. He cast Truman an apologetic glance when he accidentally stepped on her toes while making room for Ravenclaw's now retired Quidditch captain, Miko Ishida. The brunette rolled her eyes in reply. Severus returned the gesture before refocusing on the students watching him and his fellow seventh-years load the boats and depart across Black Lake.

Eyes roving over the gathered lower-years, Severus had little trouble finding Rowan. He was among the Slytherin fifth-years. When their eyes met, his brother stared back stone-faced. Severus balled his hands into fists. In spite of his best efforts and Teddy's greatest hopes, there had been no reconciliation. Rowan wouldn't let him. Now…

He swallowed back a loud, jagged sob. Now Severus didn't think there ever would be. This was it. This was there end. Severus was leaving for Australia tomorrow morning and he didn't know when— If he'd ever return to Britain once he'd gone home.

A professor came and released their boat. Slowly, they began to drift away from Hogwarts. Severus never once took his eyes off his little brother's emotionless countenance. Only when Rowan was a muddled dot of red and black mixed with other black, brown, and blond and dots did Severus blink. With it, came a silent stream of tears.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Well, how do you feel about this chapter?

On a different note, if you'd like more of Severus the first, I've recently released a companion piece to the first scene in ch.4, "Chance Encounters", of Black Eyes. It's that scene told from Lily's perspective.

Thanks a million for reading :)