Went out again (dinner at Nan's), so another quickie today.
Review replies;
Cartoonatic55: Ah, I remember those. We used to have them in the school library, I'd skim through them and read the endings. :D Thanks for reading!
TweenisodeOrange: Yeah, Rory will die at least once, because that's how he rolls. ;) Thanks for reviewing!
Movie-Brat: I know, I was talking about the dragon. Thanks for the review!
Zim'sMostLoyalServant: Yeah, a bit of karmic justice should do him well. :) Thanks very much!
10/10/12: Why Did I Write This
Hello! Today was supposed to be a SquidRiffs day, but he locked me in my room and ran for Tobago, so it looks like you'll have to deal with my own self-loathing today. Here's another old work from the Nickdale Tales series. Enjoy!
Last time on Nickdale Tales…Insert Doctor Who music here.
"Excellent!" laughed Godron, "Did you bribe the Earthlings to do our bidding?"
"Y-yes, warlord," EwdardCullen? Oh god, I accidently made a Forbiden Fruit reference... replied, "Most of them are ready and willing!"
"Trouble is, I missed a wire," Sandy continued, "The whole thing shorted. Next thing I knew I was on the ground and I couldn't see my hand. It all went from there."Yep, it's a sequel to that one. Have fun!
"You're taking losing better then I expected, Gary," Timmy noted.
"That's because I never needed to win the election, Tim Tim," Gary replied, smiling evilly."I just needed that sweet, sweet lobbyist money..."
In the crowd, someone brought out a large bazooka-like weapon and fired it at the pink-hatted boy. A large vortex opened, and Timmy was sucked into it.
"AAAAHHHH!" he yelled, as he vanished.This happens in broad daylight in a crowded room. And nobody notices.
And now…episode seven!
"…AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! It's an old E3 fanfic! Run for your lives!"
Timmy fell out of the vortex, landing flat on his face on a steel floor. Climbing to his feet, he realized he was in some sort of darkened lab. My name is Doctor Insano. Welcome to my creepy basement.
"Guys, where are we?" he whispered to his pencils, Cosmo and Wanda in disguise. Had to elaborate there, didn't I? Someone might have confused them for Siskel and Ebert or something.
"I don't know, sport," Wanda replied, "But I don't think this is the school." Ya think?!
"Of course it isn't," a voice replied, "Your in my clutches now." Nice grammar.
Timmy knew that voice. It was...Dumbledore!
"Professor Calamitous?" he gasped.
The short, bald, badly moustached professor walked out of the shadows, grinning evilly. He held a Missy Higgins CD in his hand. Timmy pulled Cosmo out of his pocket, who turned into the Cosmo Hammer.
"What do you want with me?" he demanded.
"Why, Turner, it's not what I want," Calamitous chuckled, "It's what the aliens back. Ouch, that sounds Freudian. Disarm him."
"What the-"
Timmy was cut short as Cosmo was pulled from his hands. Turning on his heel in shock, he found himself looking at a red jumpsuited teenage girl, with a mask disallowing him from seeing her face. Disallowing? What the heck is wrong with the word preventing?
"Ahh, help!" Cosmo yelled, "I mean, Hammer noises!" Boooooooo.
"Give it back," Timmy growled, as Wanda became the Starflinger.
"Why?" the girl asked, "So you can attack me with it? I'm not stupid, Turner."
"How do you know my name?" Timmy demanded.
"I know a lot about you, Turner," the girl growled, "Like how you help Danny Phantom destroy Nickdale!" O hai Valerie!
"Destroy it?" Timmy yelled in exasperation, "We protect it!" With illegal vigilantism, of course.
"Enough talking," Calamitous interrupted, "Knock him out, Valerie."
Timmy prepared Wanda to fire, but Valerie threw a strange canister at him. Smoke erupted from the canister. Timmy felt himself quickly grow weaker before falling into darkness…then redness...then whiteness...then bloop.
"Ugh…"
Timmy felt himself slowly coming back to consciousness. He was in a cage, and the roof was swirling. That's all he knew. He felt disoriented and confused, as well as having a splitting headache. Hangover joke in three...two...one...
"What did I do last night?" he groaned, climbing to his feet. His head hurt and he had to lie back. Seriously, why does he have a hangover now?
"Hey," a female voice stated.
Timmy's vision sharpened again. A black haired girl with a red beanie, a blue hooded jumper and red shorts was sitting in the corner of the cage. Shipping again, young me? At least you have good taste.
"Who the heck're you?" he asked, managing to sit up.
"Dani Fenton," Dani replied, "You?"
"Danny?" Timmy asked, "You can't be Danny, you're a girl!"
"Dani with an I," Dani explained, "I'm his cousin." You know, I think this is the only fic where I address this. Too bad it's crap, really.
"Oh, that Dani," Timmy nodded.
"How do you know who I am?" Dani asked.
"Me and Danny are in this world-saving group, the Nicktoons," Timmy replied, "He said he had a clone with ghost powers, but he calls you a cousin." Because it's easier then saying genetic clone and less creepy then saying biological father.
"He told someone?" Dani gasped.
"Only us," Timmy consoled, "And the cops. And the papers. So…what're you in for?"
"Valerie got me," replied Dani, sadly, "I thought she was on my side, but she told me she'd worked out Danny was lying from an expert."
"Calamitous obviously a highly reputable source then," Timmy nodded, "Don't worry about it, Valerie tries to get Danny every three days no matter what he says, it's not really unusual. So yeah, basically she's a lying shrew. How's life?"
"Yeah, I guess so," sighed Dani, "So, are we getting out of here?"
"How do we get out of a cage?" Timmy asked. Jimmy the lock, maybe? Trick the guard? Hopefully not something stupid, right?
Dani grinned. A ring appeared around her midsection, splitting as it went across her body. Her hair became white (the beanie vanishing) and she gained a HAZMAT suit similar to Danny's, except with gloves, boots (uhh, I think they're boots Yes. Yes, they are boots.) and an exposed bellybutton.
Grabbing Timmy's hand, she phased through the bars and stepped into the hallway.
...
You mean Calamitous didn't ghost-proof the cage?
He's a genius-level scientist...and he didn't ghost-proof the cage?
OH MY GOD, THAT WAS JUST STUPID.
"You could do that this whole time and you never escaped?" asked Timmy, dumfounded.
"This guy told me I had to wait for another prisoner," Dani shrugged, "He had a staff." Gandalf? What's he doing in this thing?
"Can't question the staff," nodded Timmy, "So, where do we go?"
"Upstairs," Dani shrugged, "We find Calamitous and kick his butt."
"I like the way you think," Timmy grinned. Butt-kicking is fun and good for you.
They began to run down the corridor. How do they know where they're going?
"Can I ask you something?" asked Dani.
"Yeah," Timmy shrugged.
"Are you half-ghost?" "LOL NO," said Timmy.
"Me?" Timmy chuckled, "No, I'm the guy with the fair – err – reality bending computer programs. Spongebob's friend is a halfa, though." Oh yeah, I remember. I'm just going over to that wall for a moment.
BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH
Okay, I'm back.
Dani nodded.
"So," Timmy asked, "How'd Valerie get you?" Easy! Just look for the girl Danny, duh.
"I was trying to find Danny," Dani shrugged, "She cornered me near his house and threw me in here." How did she know to look near Fenton Works?
"She sucked me into a black hole," Timmy explained, "She took my computer programs two." Not three though, luckily.
He scowled as he said this.
"Uh, Timmy?" noted Dani, "You can stop holding my hand now." IS MY SHIPPING TOO SUBTLE?!
Timmy looked down. His hand was still held in Dani's from when the phased out of the cage.
"Oh," he chuckled nervously, turning red in the process, "Sorry. I'm sure it doesn't mean anything."
They reached a stairwell and began to climb. The door slammed shut behind them. Oh no, it's the Door Ghost!
Calamitous and Valerie sat in front of a video link screen, Ewdard on the other side.
"Congratulations on collecting Turner," said Ewdard, "All we need now is Danny Phantom and Neutron will have lost his most powerful allies. Because no-one cares about the other guys, you know."
"What about the rest of the Nicktoons?" Calamitous asked.
"Neutron is powerless without his inventions," Ewdard scoffed, "Get him outside his lab and he's ours for the taking. Squarepants, Pickles and the football head are all weak! See, what did I tell you?"
"What do we do after we get the ghost boy?" asked Valerie, eyebrow raised.
"Simple," Ewdard replied, "Get past Plasmius and the squirrel, infiltrate the Ghost Zone and establish rule over it. With ghost power, we will be able to plough through the Earth's defences…"
Valerie looked surprised. Ewdard noticed, quickly changing his tone.
"Uh…and establish a benevolent rule that will benefit both of our races!" he exclaimed, "Yes, that'll do. We're not invaders! We're peacekeepers!"
"You'd better," Valerie growled.
"An Alien will keep his word, Valerie," Ewdard nodded, manipulatively.
The vid-link closed. Ewdard then laughed at Valerie's stupidity for eleven minutes.
"An invasion of the Ghost Zone is required, eh?" Calamitous considered, "Interesting! I know just who to call. The…um…err…"
"Ghostbusters? DP/Ghostbusters crossover? YES!" asked Valerie, "Police? Guys in White?"
"Yes, the Guys in White!" nodded Calamitous, "They'll be able to shred every ghost that they meet! Ahahahaha no. With that Pariah Dark fellow in the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep and Clockwork keeping up his no-intervention stance, it shouldn't be a problem unless we remember that the GiW are laughably incompetent. They can't even get in here!"
"As long as you remembered to put Ghost Shields around the building," Valerie added, smugly.
"Oh poo." Whoops! He made a tremendously stupid oversight again!
"Thought so," Valerie nodded, "Don't worry, I'm more then a match for any dumb ghost who tries to take a chance at me." No...must...not...sing...ABBA...
"I'll need you on the offensive, Valerie," said Calamitous, shaking his head, "While the Guys in White neutralize Neutron merry band and prepare to march on the Fenton Works you're putting way too much faith in them, you know, you will bring Plasmius to me. Understand?"
"Got it, Professor," nodded Valerie, "Any chance at that frootloop." Ooh, there's another Freudian slip.
Valerie walked into the weapons compound, looking for Timmy's 'weapons'.
She was in for a shock.
"Where'd they go?" Gone to Reno. BRB.
Timmy and Dani found themselves next to a window. The city skyline could be seen from this window. It was pretty generic, really.
"Well, we we're we-we're? not in the basement anymore," Dani mused.
"Can we stop for a while," Timmy panted, "We've been walking for fifty-three storeys!" Isn't there a lift or something?
"Alright," Dani nodded, feeling a little pooped herself. The rings appeared as she assumed her human form.
By now the sun was beginning to set over the city, and the glass windows of the skyscrapers were glowing in a brilliant golden light. Below them, people had started to come home from work, and their cars filled the roads. The park, the only natural place in the inner city, was peaceful and the lake glistened in the evening glow. The river could be seen about two thousand yards away, and a small ship was floating down it's golden blue length. Well, I haven't lost my passion for describing places at sunset.
From here, it seemed peaceful. 27 felonies were committed that very minute.
"So," Timmy asked, finding silence awkward, "Where'd you go after you last saw Danny?" Amarillo, of course.
"I went around," shrugged Dani, "Went to a few places I thought there'd be a lot of ghosts I should fight. I ended up in Toronto when I found out that Amity Park was gone." ...and no-one in the Federal Government noticed.
"Blame Jimmy," Timmy shrugged, "He was the one who started it." He imitated the boy genius. "'The universe portal won't explode and merge six worlds, Timmy, I'm too smart for that!'" This is the only origin for this town we ever get. Savour it, lads and lasses.
"I was kinda panicking for the first few days, until they worked out that they found its inhabitants in a new city. I kept going around the country for another four months, until I got to Nickdale. I thought I'd look for Danny, and…well…this happened."
Dani gave a mournful smile.
"I worked out that saving people was harder then I thought," she mused, to herself as much as Timmy, "No one thought I was on their side. I've been attacked by police, security…heck, even the Secret Service! What, did they want that giant muscle ghost to rip the President limb from limb?" To be fair, a ghost flying right at President Obama does not make for a non-threatening image.
Timmy nodded thoughtfully.
"At least people know that you save them," he muttered.
"What was that?" No, seriously, what was that? I don't understand.
"Never mind, it's nothing," Timmy sighed. Elaborate, dammit!
Deep below them, Timmy noticed a large amount of white specks on the move. Oh no! Space Invaders are coming!
"Who're those guys?" he wondered.
He squinted.
"Uh-oh!" he gasped, "They're the Guys in White!" Fear them! Fear the idiots!
"The Who in What?" Dani asked, confused.
"The Guys in White," Timmy replied, "They're this anti-ghost government agency. Calamitous obviously got them on his side." Which kind of makes then a pretty poor government agency.
A red flash glided past them, headed for City Hall at high speed. Timmy and Dani knew who it was. Superman? What are you doing here?
"Valerie," they snarled.
"We've gotta warn Danny!" Dani gasped.
"But what about Calamitous?" asked Timmy.
"We can deal with him later, Danny's life is at stake!" Dani exclaimed. ...why? He's fought off Valerie many times, why's this different?
Timmy nodded as Dani assumed her ghost form.
"We're a-coming, Danny!" Timmy yelled, holding Dani's hand as they phased through the window.
Dani stared.
"I'm sorry, force of habit." Just a sec...
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
...and we're done for now. Goodbye everyone!
Every time I read these old fics, I ask myself...why?